Why Italians pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying.

He calls his grandson to his bedside. "Vinny" , I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man... Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's Up'?"

I think Davisi's right - it's actually funnier if the dad's just a regular person instead of a mafia person. So it's just a regular person talking about killing someone.