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Weekly Alibi
 V.13 No.33 | August 12 - 18, 2004 
Contracts with America
On the bright side, outsourced government jobs are generating huge profits in the private sector. On the dark side, no-bid contracts routinely come with padded invoices, lax oversight and a hefty bill to the taxpayer.
Blowing the Whistle on the Bureau
A recent spate of whistle-blowing ex-Feds charge the FBI with dangerous mismanagement.
Blue Note
Monk in Paris: Live at the Olympia is a "wondrous" collaboration between a legendary jazz hound and the son of a Monk.
Dining In
Guess the secret ingredient in "truckstop steaks" and win a new patch of chest hair, a confederate flag bandana and an incurable case of coffee breath.
Idiot Box: Olympic Fever Could Cause Greece Fire
NBC's prime-time Olympic coverage guarantees lots of ass-kicking action in sports categories we invented. Let's just hope the USA basketball team doesn't absorb another Italian stompin' before they abscond with the gold.
Art Festival Preview
The spirit of YardFest is alive and well in OFFCenter's We Art the People: Folk Arts Festival. You and your kin definitely won't want to miss this one.
Author Interview
Left-wing rabble-rouser Jim Hightower squares off againtst another famous Texan in his new book, Let's Stop Beating Around the Bush!

RSSRaw posts and updates from our writers with info too timely or uncategorizable for print. What, we said something stupid? Chime in, buddy.
news

The Daily Word in mole man invasions, pot blocking and lame witchcraft

The Daily Word

Well, kids, let’s see what’s going on in the news today:

The city of Albuquerque has decided that supporters of a marijuana decriminalization measure need to have more signatures on their petition than the city had originally told them. OOPS. Too bad the deadline was Monday. And no, they don’t get an extension.

Murderers of a retired educator in Chimayo claim to have held a ‘witchcraft’ ceremony after the killing. Which sounds super creepy, but apparently only involved "wrapping a ribbon in something and putting it in a baggie." I guess it's creepy if the 'something' was an eyeball. But way less creepy if the 'something' was a, I dunno, pencil. Basically, my feelings about this story are dependent on what got wrapped in a ribbon and then put into a baggie.

An Albuquerque man tried to stretch the family food budget by killing, then butchering the family dog. Which was a chihuahua, by the way, which could feed maybe one person? I don't think this guy thought things through.

And the Duke City is due to become the Cake City this weekend. Cake kind of sounds like Duke and it’s the best I could come up with before my coffee hits bottom. Also, I’m still thinking about that witchcraft thing. And the pot thing. And the dog thing. Is there something wrong with the state this week?

A team of surgeons removed 232 teeth from the mouth of a 17-year old boy in India.

Two more mysterious holes leading to the blackest depths of the Earth have opened up in Siberia. Scientists think it’s happening because of an eruption of gas, but the Internet thinks it’s probably mole men.

And Harrison Ford’s ankle injury is probably going to prevent puffins from having sex. Dammit, Harrison Ford. First Indy 4 and now this?

NEWS

The Daily Word in bomb threats, no more square hamburgers in Russia and Presidential pants

The Daily Word

Huning Highland shall not be home to a Subway.

The man who was subjected to an extensive and illegal cavity search courtesy of the Hidalgo County Sheriff's department details his story in a new interview.

Someone threatened to blow up the capital building in Santa Fe.

Naked intruder alert.

Dead Jackass star Ryan Dunn's photo wasn't supposed to be used in this story.

Behold the motorized sneaker/rocket roller skate thingees.

No more Wendy's in Russia.

March of the Juggalos.

The time President Johnson ordered pants.

A satanist group is leveraging the Hobby Lobby decision to challenge "informed consent" laws.

An American Hippie in Israel.

news

The Daily Word in WWI, wacky weather and other worries.

The Daily Word

Happy 100th birthday, World War I.

Massive, explosive decompression brought down MH17.

A tornado hit near Boston.

A lightning storm hit Venice Beach.

I wonder if Palin TV will show Lidsville.

Watch the trailer for the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover episode.

Now worry about kissing-bug disease.

A UFO terrifies Toronto.

Sexual harrassment at Comic-Con exists.

Get ready for the new mass extinction.

Progress Now NM is pushing for $25 fines for marijuana possission.

An Albuquerque hot dog cart was stolen.

What’s happening in Albuquerque today?

Go swimming!

Happy birthday, Steve Morse.

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