Alibi's Second Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest
By Steven Robert Allen
Yes, as you might expect, lots of Alibi readers are cynics with icy hearts. (Actually, that description applies to most of the Alibi staff as well.) Even the iciest heart, though, would melt in the blazing oven of love that was our Second Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest.
Out on the north side of Avenida César Chávez and sandwiched between the Isotopes Stadium and the city tennis complex is a patch of land with potential. Or, to put it another way, it's a vacant lot comprised of rolling dirt piles and scattered chamisa that some day soon could be transformed into a world-class bicycle park.
Traffic calming measures rile some residents' nerves
By Jim Scarantino
Lately, in Four Hills every day is hump day.
If you commute from Four Hills you probably recognize this sound. It goes: "Whump ... whump ... whump ... whump ... whump ... whump ... whump ... whump ... whump." That's not a bass line to gangsta rap, nor failing CV joints. It's the sound of passing over nine—count that, nine—traffic humps installed by the city in September at the entrance to Four Hills Village. Four Hills is the only community in Albuquerque, other than private gated communities, with just one way in and out. You take Four Hills Road off Central, then the road splits at the entrance to Four Hills Village. The right fork is Wagon Train Drive, with nine speed humps in six tenths of a mile. Double that for each roundtrip.
Mountains are well known for harboring secrets—a snippet of folklore that Bill Henderson is well aware of, considering that he comes from a long line of mountain dwellers, six generations worth, to be exact. Henderson's tie to the San Pedro Mountains began when his great-grandfather settled in Golden, N.M., along the Turquoise Trail between Sandia Park and Madrid, as a coal miner in the late 1800s. He had a succession of sons, who, one by one, followed him into the mines; and who, like him, offered their lives over to the mountain.
Here's a riddle for you: If you call someone who sees a crisis when there isn't one there, “Chicken Little,” and you call someone who yells about crises just to get attention, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf,” what do you call someone who makes up a phony crisis while ignoring a real one biting his butt?
Dateline: Holland—A group of homeless people are having a little fun in the sun thanks to a faulty ATM. The homeless people were given special state social security cash cards which allow them to take out up to $150 at a time. But a computer glitch at a Fortis Bank cash machine in Rotterdam allowed them to withdraw an unrestricted amount of money, the newspaper de Volkskrant reported. Amounts ranging from $450 to nearly $20,000 ended up being taken out by a group of at least 20 homeless people, and police believe that many of the people involved have gone on vacation with the money. An official with the Pauluskerk homeless shelter in Rotterdam said, “Those who took out large amounts of money have probably left the country and are sunning themselves on a beach in Spain.” More than $100,000 is missing from the Fortis Bank.
Cast Me!—Warner Brothers is combing our fair state for extras and stand-ins for its new drama (formerly titled Class Action) starring Charlize Theron, Sissy Spacek, Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson and Sean Bean. The film, directed by Niki Caro (Whale Rider), will be filmed in Albuquerque, Santa Fe and Las Vegas from March 21 to April 29. Casting will take place on Saturday, Feb. 12, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Garson Studios/Stage A on the College of Santa Fe campus (1600 St. Michael's Drive). Casting directors are looking for Anglo males and females ages 18-60. Photos and resumes are welcome. Remember me when you make it big.
Years ago, Will Smith was crowned the King of July 4th. A proven box office heavyweight since the days of Independence Day, Smith has all but owned the summer cineplexes over the crucial 4th of July weekend. Last summer's Smith vehicle, I, Robot, managed to turn a profit; but it was hardly the runaway hit the studio was expecting. In the wake of that multimillion dollar stumble, fans might find themselves a tad concerned that 2005's Will Smith offering, Hitch, is steering far clear of the summer blockbuster season, opening up in the midst of the late-winter, pre-Oscar doldrums. Has the Fresh Prince lost his mojo?
Well, it was a clean and wholesome Super Bowl, I'll concede that point, but it certainly wasn't the most exciting of “Idiot Box” events. After a year of controversy and outrage over farting horses, Viagra commercials and Janet Jackson's infamous nipple ring, Super Bowl XXXIX arrived with as much skunk-eyed government scrutiny as you can get without being a Iraqi tourist with a one-way ticket to Washington, D.C., and a ticking carry-on.
Cheesy sword and sorcery sequel takes us back to the '80s
By Kurly Tlapoyawa
Deathstalker II (1986)
Alright, I'll admit it—I was one of those dorks who wasted countless hours of my childhood playing Dungeons and Dragons with my fellow nerds. It didn't take long for my obsession with all things fantasy to explode into a geeky gumbo of action figures, novels, T-shirts and movies. In fact, it was a self-declared quest to see every damn fantasy film ever made which led to my renting a video called Deathstalker one fateful Friday night--and the results were less than satisfying.
You see, Deathstalker was nothing more than a half-assed attempt to copy the success of the far superior Conan the Barbarian, directed by John Milius. The budget was sparse, the acting was nonexistent, and the action looked like it had been choreographed by two drunks trying to poke each other in the eyes with sticks. The film was quickly swept away into the dustbin of my mind.
Wanna rock in the movies? Kathy Brink Casting is looking for a “white pop/rock/R&B band” for a Warner Bros. movie scheduled to be shot in the Albuquerque/Santa Fe area between March 21 and April 29. The flick is rumored to star Charlize Theron, among other Hollywood bigwigs. Interested? Shoot me an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Do not call me. And no, I'm not the one who narrowed the search down to white bands only. ... Congratulations to the Oktober People, who are the only local band so far to have been officially invited to showcase at this year's South By Southwest Music Conference (according to the SXSW website, anyway) in Austin next month. Our fingers are crossed for the rest of you who submitted entries. ... In rock-u-mentary news, filmmaker Rob Nakai has finished a DVD documentary on local band Fast Heart Mart, which includes live footage, interviews and photos of the band assembled over the past five years of their existence. You can order your very own copy for a paltry 10 bucks at www.kronikindustries.com. A new CD from the band is due sometime next month. Visit http://www.myspace.com/fastheartmart for updates.
Peter Rowan and Tony Rice tour in support of their first full-fledged album as a duo
Though they've spent plenty of time on the road together over the years, Americana icons Peter Rowan and Tony Rice had never made a full album together until late last year, when they entered the studio together with Billy and Bryn Bright on mandolin and double bass respectively to record You Were There for Me (Rounder). It's an album that begs the question, “What took you guys so long?” Indeed, the pairing seems as natural as Lennon and McCartney, Simon and Garfunkel, Flatt and Skruggs, peanut butter and chocolate.
Saturday, Feb. 12; South Broadway Cultural Center (all ages, 7 p.m.): Traditional Irish music continues to gather steam here in the United States. And, in large part, it's due to the near-constant emergence of high quality solo performers and groups. Add Téada (pronounced tay-da) to the latter list. The quintet have released a pair of remarkable albums on Green Linnet since forming in 2001, but they began serious and international touring only recently.
Barcelona's Ojos de Brujo's international debut, Bari, very nearly made my 2004 Top 20 list. This EP, featuring six remixed tracks from said record, probably won't make the 2005 list, but it's still a worthy, eclectic adventure through rumba catalana dressed as coked-up club music for steely eyed corporate sluts who like to cut loose after-hours. Almost all of the sincerity and traditional feel that made Bari so accessible has been effectively torched off by breakbeats and trippy loops, but Remezclas ... still manages to sound exotic and ready-made for the next Matrix-like film Hollywood is bound to churn out momentarily.
The folks that brought you New Mexico Books and More—a temporary Cottonwood Mall coop that sold local books during last year's holiday season—are planning a giant book fair at the mall on Saturday, May 7. The event will occur from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on the day before Mother's Day, traditionally a packed shopping day at the mall.
A Trio of Alternative Valentine's Day Celebrations
By Steven Robert Allen
Dreading the yearly barrage of weenie Hallmark sentiments? Concerned about the pit of romantic loathing welling up in your intestines? Feeling like your skin is covered in a mucous-like layer of treacle? Have no fear, dear Alibi readers. Innovative romantics around Albuquerque have devised several clever alternatives to the clichéd red roses and chocolate Valentine tradition of yesteryear.
Juli Etheridge's outrageous one-woman monster comedy, Rot, opens this weekend at the Tricklock Performance Space. Directed by fellow Tricklockers Byron Laurie and Elsa Menendez, Etheridge plays 10 different characters in a theatrical story that combines love, horror and plenty of pee-in-your-pants giggling. The show opens with a catered gala this Friday, Feb. 11, and runs through Feb. 27. Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. Sundays at 6 p.m. $12 general, $9 students/seniors. 254-8393.
The Fusion Theatre Company opens its 2005 season with a new production of Sam Shepard's A Lie of the Mind at the Cell Theatre (700 First Street NW). Directed by Jacqueline Reed, this alcohol-drenched tale about two intertwined families stars some fine local talent and should be well worth the price of admission. Thursday through Saturday at 7:30 p.m. Sunday at 2 p.m. $22 general, $17 students/seniors. The Feb. 10 opening features a reception beginning at 7 p.m. with curtain at 7:30 p.m. Thursdays (excluding opening) feature a $10 student rush and a $15 actor rush. Runs through March 6. 766-9412.
Carlos Ruiz Zafón's novel The Shadow of the Wind (Penguin, paper, $15) will feel hauntingly familiar to anyone who's ever fallen in love with a book. Published in Spain in 2001, Zafón's novel has sold two million copies and been translated into almost 40 languages. In the process, the author—a former screenwriter born and raised in Barcelona, Spain—has unwittingly developed an almost cult-like following. It isn't hard to see why. The Shadow of the Wind is the kind of book its followers carry around with them wherever they go, giving away copies to strangers in the street in the same way aspiring preachers might give away copies of the New Testament.
Valentine's Day is approaching and I'm charged with writing about all of the delightful dinners restaurants have planned to lure lovers. But all I can think about is Matt Brewer, who died last week, and how he once told me he hated to have Café Bodega open on a holiday. “Amateur night,” he grumbled over the phone, and I laughed. I could picture him shaking his head as he half-heartedly groused about all the unfamiliar faces filing into local restaurants on Valentine's, New Year's, Mother's Day. By amateurs, he meant people who don't usually eat at restaurants like his. They always wanted substitutions, the chef groused, and didn't tip well, which pissed off the wait staff. No, all in all it was a pain and he preferred not to do it. I think Brewer just got a lot of satisfaction from cooking for his regulars, the devoted folks who had followed him to Bodega from Café de las Placitas. This year he had planned on serving on Valentine's Day, even though it fell on a Monday, when the restaurant would normally be closed. He just wasn't going to advertise it, in hopes that the dining room would fill up with regulars.
Happy Chinese New Year! It's the year of the cock and I, for one, have decided it's high time we all started taking the Chinese zodiac a little more seriously. So forget Valentine's Day—I'll be eating kung pao chicken all weekend long, and I suggest you do the same. May you all have wealth and prosper.
Albuquerque lost one of its best chefs last week with the untimely death of Matt Brewer, owner of Café Bodega (4243 Montgomery NE). Matt grew up in Farmington, and used to joke that he was headed for a career as a professional bowler until he discovered food. After several years at various restaurant jobs in Albuquerque, where he worked his way up to become chef at Café Oceana, Scalo and Prairie Star, Brewer migrated west. After graduating from the California Culinary Institute, he was mentored by Chef Cory Schreibner at San Francisco's Cypress Club. Schreibner introduced him to the rigors of California's nouvelle cuisine, a movement which combined the freshest possible local produce and proteins with international ingredients, in uncommon combinations.
Nothing warms up a cold winter evening like a nice hot sausage
By Gwyneth Doland
Every time we'd drive up to my grandparents' farm, my folks would make a point of stopping at Moore's general store. If you're picturing something out of a Country Time lemonade commercial, you've got just the right idea. It was a dusty old clapboard building, with squeaky floor boards, a slamming screen door and one of those big old Coca-Cola coolers with tall bottles and real ice inside. In the back, of the store, Mr. Moore could be found behind a big, white enameled meat case, with a motor that purred as softly as a diesel tractor. Mr. Moore made sausage, sweet (meaning mild) and hot Italian. We chose sweet, and bought enough for dinner at the farm, plus a few extra links to take back to the city with us. It was good stuff.
Obesity is a preventable cause of death that has become a plague on New Mexico's children. So why is junk food being served at our public schools?
By Story and sidebars by Gwyneth Doland and Alison Fields
Face it: As a nation, we're fat and it's killing us. Over the past few decades, changes in the way Americans live, work and eat have made obesity a preventable cause of death that is second only to smoking. While parents, teachers, doctors, lawyers and government agencies have all gone to great pains to educate, legislate, forbid and otherwise appropriately demonize smoking, by bad example, ignorance and neglect on the subject of nutrition and exercise, we are raising a generation of children who are not expected to live as long as their parents.
At the start of 2005, Albuquerque Public Schools began a five-month Wellness Pilot Project. For students at 18 elementary and middle schools involved in the program, the most obvious change will be the snacks sold in vending machines and the hours during which the machines will be available. Elementary school vending machines will only dispense bottled water during the school day. In middle schools, Pepsi's vending machines are limited to water and juice and milk beverages. In all participating schools, vending machine snacks must comply with new nutrition standards—meaning kids will choose from things like pretzels and granola bars rather than tortilla chips and cookies.
There are many issues, besides food in schools, that the Legislature is tacking during this session. Legislators want to know what you think, what will make you happy and what will make you re-elect them. So call early and often.
Being a space case isn't necessarily a bad thing. This will be especially true this weekend when the New Mexico Symphony Orchestra (NMSO) joins forces with the LodeStar Astronomy Center for a performance that should please classical music enthusiasts and space geeks alike.
Even out here in the heart of Indian Country, a lot of people harbor garishly distorted ideas about Native Americans. Albuquerque might be sandwiched between two Pueblo reservations, but for many Anglos knowledge of Native America begins and ends with buying slabs of fry bread at the State Fair and maybe the occasional fake arrowhead crudely mass-produced in some factory south of the border.
Sometimes one David just isn't enough. Michelangelo's David, he of the giant hands, has been around for 500 years now. To celebrate this momentous occasion, a bunch of local artists have each made new art that incorporates, in one way or another, images of Michelangelo's famous sculpture. Some pieces are heartfelt tributes. Some are hilarious satires. Many are impossible to categorize. A reception for 500 Davids will be held Friday, Feb. 4, from 5 to 9 p.m. at Galeria Artopia (5100 Constitution NE), a gallery located in the home of Allan Rosenfield. The show runs through March 12. 254-0504.
In the immortal words of the J. Geils Band: "Love stinks!" Everyone at one time or another has been made to suffer at the chubby, pink but surprisingly agile hands of that deceptively cute cherry-cheeked bastard, Eros. Musical Theatre Southwest gives viewers an opportunity to laugh at other people's romantic misery with its remounted production of I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change, which originally ran at the Cell Theatre back in 2003. The show runs Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m., Sundays at 2 p.m. in the Ana Chavira Theatre. $20 general, $18 students/seniors. 262-9301.
Have you seen this new thing where they're selling packets of Crystal Light drink powder next to bottled water at convenience stores? What an interesting idea. I suppose they're marketing the single-serving tubes of Peach Tea and Raspberry Ice to thirsty women dieters who are already familiar with the Crystal Light non-carbonated, low-calorie beverage concept, trying to get them to drink Raspberry Ice water instead of plain old Aquafina. I see only two problems: First, they already sell Crystal Light beverages in plastic bottles, right next to Aquafina. Second, you'd have to drink Raspberry Ice-flavored Crystal Light. Why choose artificially-flavored water over water-flavored water? If I want my water to be exciting, I'll have a half-dressed 22-year-old weight-lifter spank me while I drink it. You'd think these marketing geniuses could use their time more wisely. Why can't they make beer crystals and sell the powdered brew in baby formula-sized cans? Oh yeah, because it would probably taste like ass, and you'd still have to pick a million red party cups out of the backyard bushes. That's why they make kegs: so you don't have to buy so many cans. Oh, and kegs always have a way of attracting a fresh crop of 22 year-old weight lifters.
Scalo has a new owner. Steve Paternoster was general manager and a part owner of the Nob Hill restaurant from 1993 until leaving and selling his stake in 1999. Since then Paternoster has had his hand in several different ventures, including Sun Country Chile and Honey, whose sopapilla syrup is under fire in this section this week.
The honey substitute you didn't know you've been eating
By Gwyneth Doland
I came into work the other day to find a single-serving packet of Sopapilla Syrup sitting on my keyboard. Hmm, Sopapilla Syrup. What is this stuff? The ingredients are printed right on the packet: High fructose corn syrup, sugar, honey, corn syrup, natural flavor, caramel color. Good God. Fake honey.
Many of us may not be old enough to remember the Doodlebug, despite the fact that for years the quaint and colorful commuter rail passed in and out of our city—transporting workers, students and families from Belen to Albuquerque and back again. One of many southwestern trains, it earned its moniker through a whimsical resemblance to the bug of the same name (in that it tirelessly dashed from city to city), and began its daily commutes in 1934. It was beloved by the folks who graced its seats and inspired many a young mother to require that her children dress in their Sunday finery before climbing on board. Yet, alas, after World War II, funding for the rail line trailed off, going instead to the more novel business of road-building—and, despite protests from the community, the Belen to Albuquerque Doodlebug made its last stop on April 9, 1968.
Au contraire, indeed. If you caught President Bush's live press conference on KOB-770 AM last week like I did, you heard this question from Jeff Gannon, Washington bureau chief and White House correspondent for some outfit called Talon News. After the president selected “Jeff,” this question followed: "Senate Democratic leaders have painted a very bleak picture of the U.S. economy. Harry Reid [D-NV] was talking about soup lines. And Hillary Clinton [D-NY] was talking about the economy being on the verge of collapse. Yet in the same breath they say that Social Security is rock solid and there's no crisis there. How are you going to work—you've said you are going to reach out to these people—how are you going to work with people who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?"
About a quarter of the $26 million raised by the city's voter-approved public safety tax was supposed to go toward preventing crime, helping kids before they get into trouble and giving a hand to victims of violence, abuse and addiction. The rest was tagged for police and firefighters.
Dateline: Portugal—Police didn't have to work too hard to crack the case of junior gangster Marco Guerra. The 17-year-old criminal apparently set up a Web page that featured photos of him posing with a machine gun along with cash he had obtained through crime. The site also listed Guerra's full name and telephone number. Guerra told the newsweekly Sabado that he was charged with illegal possession of firearms and drugs after police searched the room he occupies in his parents house in suburban Lisbon. “The police came and they took everything: the gun, a cap and the shotgun,” marveled Guerra. “They took the computer and now I don't have access to the Internet anymore.” Guerra's site included pictures of the teen holding a 9 mm handgun, carrying a rifle and waving a machine gun in the air, as well as shots of him posing at a table full of cash and marijuana. “Through illegal or obscure deals you can live really well,” Guerra's site advised. Guerra now faces up to three years in jail for the illegal possession of arms and another two years for the possession of drugs.
New Year, Same Problems—The People Before Profit film/lecture series at the Peace & Justice Center (202 Harvard SE) kicks off 2004 with Bush Family Fortunes. This English documentary trails the Bush family, from the Florida election fraud to the Saudi connection. It's based on Greg Palast's hard-hitting investigative reports for the BBC and the UK's Guardian and on his bestselling book The Best Democracy Money Can Buy. The screening will begin at 7 p.m. Entrance is free, but seating is limited.
Asian art house offering studiously contemplates its own navel
By Devin D. O'Leary
While movies about the art of moviemaking are fairly common (just look at this year's The Aviator), movies about the art of watching movies are fairly rare. Giuseppe Tornatore's Cinema Paradiso is pretty much the capstone of this largely untenanted genre. A nostalgic portrait of growing up in a movie theater and loving cinema in its purest form, Cinema Paradiso examines what it's like to be a viewer, a passive participant captured by the flickering magic of a movie projector.
February is an amazing month, television-wise. First of all, it's Sweeps, which means the networks will be straining their budgets to shoehorn big celebrity guest stars into each and every sitcom. Secondly, February now boasts the two biggest TV viewing days of the entire year. Later this month, we get the Oscars, and this very weekend, the worlds of sports and television come together to deliver nothing less than the Super Bowl.
Several weeks ago, I reported in this column on the formation of another new locally-based regional label, Detach Records, and their “coming out” part at the Launchpad featuring live performances by bands on their roster. As of this week, the Detach crew have released their first official longplayer, the third record by Austin's The Onlys, titled Limbic System. Look for a review of the album in a coming issue. In the meantime, check it out for yourself at your nearest independent record store. ... As part of its “Latin Diva” concert series, the National Hispanic Cultural Center will present world beat/reggae/Latin jazz sensations Kátia Moraes & Sambaguru Friday, Feb. 4. Call 724-4771 or visit www.nhccnm.org for tickets, time and more information. ... Local band The Ground Beneath recently began working on an album, which they say should be completed over the next few months. They've also uploaded seven live MP3 tracks that can be downloaded for free at www.thegroundbeneath.com. The band also report that they've been in contact with Fred Durst's (Limp Bizkit frontman/shithead) management and that “big things” are perhaps in the works on the moving-up-the-music business-ladder department. ... If you haven't bought your copy of the brand new Shine Cherries self-titled debut, what the fuck are you waiting for?
The music is gentle and meditative, with expansive soundscapes that softly explore the more reclusive aspects of human consciousness. Featuring the cello of Elaine Kreston, the disc also draws on the multi-dimensional talents of co-composer Ray Regan, whose artworks, soundworks and video bridge the natural and digital dimensions.
Saturday, Feb. 8; Sunshine Theater (21 and over, 7:30 p.m.): Admittedly, I don't generally consider the Dave Matthews/John Mayer/Matchbox 20 set as my proverbial bag. But I've also got to admit that there are certain days—certain moods on certain days, actually—on which music by that particular singer-songwriter subset and the artists it encompasses seems absolutely perfect. Add to those artists Georgia-based roots rocker Michael Tolcher, whose debut, I Am (Octone) proves that the age of soaring pop melodies and rock-driven, folktastic songwriting are still alive and well both inside and outside the mainstream.
At least a full decade before electronica, techno and ambient were officially declared genres, the music that defined them was lumped in the new age category and, therefore, unfortunately stigmatized as bullshit background music for tofu-eaters looking to get their yoga on. French electronicist Jean Michel Jarre's earliest and best work was among the falsely imprisoned. Fast-forward to the '90s and bands such as Stereolab, High Llamas, St. Etienne, Air and countless others. What was then considered to be the latest craze was actually a co-opting of Jarre's pioneering work in electronic music. Listen, learn—this is whence it came.
"There's a huge gap between ideas, good intentions and reality"
By Christie Chisholm
Tick. Tock. In case you're wondering, that's the sound ringing in the ears of more than 27,000 animals a year at the Albuquerque Animal Care Center, where progress seems to move about as quickly as the proverbial snail. Despite findings by the Humane Society of the United States five years ago that animal care practices at the two Albuquerque shelters were abysmal, and followed by promises by the city to improve said abysmal conditions, it seems that any real improvements in animal welfare have yet to begin. At least, that's what animal rights activists around the city are saying, who are irate over what they call "empty promises."
With no help from the Bush administration—but plenty from Europe, Japan, New York and California—solar power is edging into the mainstream
By Bill McKibben
If you're like most Americans, you've spent your life invisibly attached to an electric meter. When you wake up and switch on the light, you nudge it forward a little faster. When you toast bread, watch TV, open the fridge, flick on the computer, you push its pace. For all practical purposes, it only goes one way.
Two hot button bills on the Jan. 19 City Council agenda—the Old Town missile bill and a Montaño restriping compromise—were deferred when Councilor Debbie O'Malley fell ill and left after the break. The recently passed quarter-cent public safety tax budgeted money for social services. Five resulting bills passed, funding programs for adolescent substance abuse treatment, services for victims of sexual assault, child witnesses of domestic violence, treatment for domestic violence offenders and DWI workplace education.
It seems incredible, but the election to choose four Albuquerque Public School board positions and to decide the fate of a proposed $218 million bond issue and mill levy to pay for building new schools and repairing existing ones takes place on Feb. 1.
Dateline: England—A village in Cambridgeshire has decided to celebrate its history by erecting a five-foot-tall statue of dinosaur poo. According to London's Daily Telegraph, parish council members in Bassingbourn chose the $15,000 bronze sculpture in a competition. It beat rivals including a sculpture of one of the World War II bombers the flew from a local airfield. Fossilized dinosaur droppings, known as coprolite, brought wealth to the area late in the 19th century. “It's an excellent idea; unusual and very imaginative,” said Jack White, the parish council chairman. “Something like a bomber, which used to fly out of here in the war, would have been too obvious.” The winning design came from David Billings, a former teacher at Bassingbourn Village College, who described his design thusly: “The idea is to have a heap of muck on top of a plinth.”
You think you eat out too often? Ha! I met a woman the other night who told me that she lived in her current place for months before setting the oven on fire—by turning it on with the instruction booklet still resting on the top rack. Now I don't feel so guilty for cooking as rarely as I do. Yes, it's true: I use my oven as often as I vacuum. (Was that not clear? It's not often.) Why cook when my phone is full of hungry friends who will gladly meet me at [insert name of charming ethnic eatery here] in half an hour? I'm single and I'm a Leo, so why would I waste time whipping up a minor masterpiece when no one will applaud? As a tree's unwitnessed fall makes no sound, a chef's most savory creation is wasted without a tongue to tell the tale of it. Or something like that. The truth is that being your own worst critic makes for some pretty miserable dinners. So, like the rest of you, I eat out nearly every night. The rest of the time, I exhume decomposing creatures from their Styrofoam sarcophagi and reheat, until they once again resemble wild boar chops and chicken curries. I use the stove to heat up water for the dog's dinner. He likes it with a little gravy, you know, and he's awfully appreciative.
Stop, drop and roll. Last week the New Mexico Environment Department (NMED) issued an egg roll recall for three kinds of egg rolls manufactured by Schwan's Pasadena, Texas plant, and distributed through Schwan's home delivery service in Belen, Chaparal and Roswell. (You've seen Schwan's old-fashioned delivery vehicles that sorta look like refrigerated dog catcher trucks.) If you have any 3.75-pound packages of Minh Gourmet chicken egg rolls, or 11-ounce packages of Pagoda chicken or Pagoda pork and shrimp egg rolls, throw them out right away. Apparently, the company got a bunch of complaints from people who found little pieces of glass in their egg rolls. What, did someone on the production line accidentally drop his 40-ounce into the egg-roller? "Dude! Where'd my beer go?" As NMED's press release suggests, "anyone concerned about an injury from consumption of the products should contact a physician." They don't need to mention you might also contact a lawyer. If I choke on a piece of glass in my pork and shrimp egg roll, you bet your corporate insurance policy I'm gonna be spraying bloody mucus all over my cellphone as I dial 1-800-LAWSUIT.
One of the best ideas I've come up with lately was this bergamot-scented apple thing. When my family came to town for Thanksgiving, I dusted off the dishes and got cooking. But when it came time to make the traditional apple pie, I realized that all of my Pyrex pie plates had been reassigned to potted plant drip-catching duty. The closest thing my cupboard held was a 10-inch cake pan. So the pie became a deep-dish apple tart-thing with a crumble top. To spice it up a bit, I added a few drops of essential oil of bergamot to the tossed apples. The result was fantastic, full of apple flavor, but the mysteriously citrusy bergamot aftertaste was addictive.
Pretty much every morning, our editor pops into my office, lifts a cheek to fart, asks me why I haven't yet cleared out my desk, then crawls around on all fours with a stuffed bunny in his mouth, trying to engage my terrier in a tug of war. But one morning this week, Dear Leader also presented me with a test of my professional qualifications.
Same-Sex Cinema—Local film company Crone Productions is holding a fundraiser this weekend at the Guild Cinema in Nob Hill to help finish work on their latest effort, Faces, a documentary about same-sex marriage in New Mexico. On Saturday, Jan. 29, The Guild will be screening the hearfelt gay romance Big Eden, starring Ayre Gross (Minority Report, “Ellen”) and Eric Schweig (The Missing, Skins). On Sunday, it's the culture clash lesbian romance Chutney Popcorn starring Jill Hennessy (“Crossing Jordan”). Both shows start at 12:30 p.m. Tickets are available at the box office. or more information, log on to www.croneproductions.com.
Boxing drama prefers to beat the tears out of its audience
By Devin D. O'Leary
With movie awards season heading into its final round, Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby comes bobbing and weaving its way into theaters with just about as many laurels as possible resting on its head. It's already landed Best Actress awards from the Boston Society of Film Critics, the Phoenix Film Critics Association and the National Society of Film Critics. It nabbed Best Director awards from the Chicago Film Critics Association, the New York Film Critics Circle, the San Diego Film Critics Association and the Seattle Film Critics Association. It also received a special achievement award from the National Board of Review and won Best Director and Best Actress at the Golden Globes. Now would be the perfect time to get in this film's corner and start cheering. ... But I'm not going to do that.
Eye-opening documentary knows the value of hard work
By Devin D. O'Leary
Avi Lewis, host/producer of “CounterSpin” on CBC Newsworld, and Naomi Klein, author of No Logo: Taking Aim at the Brand Bullies, have been highly visible, highly vocal critics of the International Monetary Fund and the predatory practices of today's corporate giants. Right wing pundits have, for years, needled them with the snippy charge, “Well, what's your solution then, Smartypants?”
Santa Fe's Red Letter Records has released its first compilation CD and will celebrate that fact by hosting a party at Warehouse 21 (1614 Paseo de Peralta). Bands performing include oneDOWN, The Hollis Wake, Raine Vivian, Enigmatik and Brian Botkiller, all of whom are featured on the disc. Admission is $1, or $5 for admission and a copy of the CD. The release contains 19 tracks by mostly northern New Mexico bands representing about every rock genre imaginable. Find more information at www.redletterrecords.org. ... In other local CD news, newly formed bluegrass troupe Raising Cane have released their debut, and The Foxx have added three tracks to their 2003 EP, dropped some dough on cover art and released a proper album. Look for both at local-music friendly record stores all over town. ... On a sad note, Club Rhythm & Blues will close—by all indications for good—on Monday, Jan. 31. The Nob Hill establishment has been a haven for local blues and roots musicians for the past seven years and has hosted its share of national touring acts as well. Club manager and local blues legend John Patrick Nieto cites a sputtering economy as the main reason behind the closure. It's a sad ending to yet another chapter of Albuquerque's music history. ... On a painful note, Black Maria bassist Brian Banks slipped and fell last week, breaking Gordon Andersen's pen ... no, wait ... he broke his own tibia in three places. He's scheduled to spend this week hopped up on morphine while getting to know the three screws and metal plate that have a new home in his leg.
What is it about siblingdom that intensifies musical collaboration? Its a decades-old phenomenon that has left its mark on nearly every genre imaginable, but perhaps none as deeply as rock music and its seemingly endless personalities. And while one group of Texas brothers, Los Lonely Boys, seem to be receiving the highest percentage of accolades for their Latin-infused, blues-drenched rock, there's a pair of Texas-bred brothers, who, along with a singer who fancies himself the Latino Steven Tyler and a drummer, bassist and percussionist that are capable of putting most other rhythm sections to shame, are quietly and methodically taking the rock and world music stages by storm one by one.
Since extinguishing his Bowl of Fire, Andrew Bird has come on strong as a viciously talented singer-songwriter or the Randy Newman stripe. The Mysterious Production of Eggs comes two years after Bird's debut solo outing, Weather Systems, confounded Bowl of Fire fans and won Bird an entire cache of new ones. According to Bird, the new album was scrapped three times and re-recorded in as many different studios. But whether he's just a perfectionist or a pretentious, obsessed manic-depressive, the guy has made an incredible record—the best of his career.
All right. This is probably the cutest darn story I've heard in a long time. Dylan Cast is a 7-year-old first grader at Montezuma Elementary School. Like most of us, when Dylan learned of the destruction caused by the recent tsunami he was utterly appalled. Unlike most of us, he vowed to actually do something about it.
Four Distinguished Artists at the KiMo Theatre Gallery
By Steven Robert Allen
As kids in California, we used to hunt for sand dollars on the beaches north of San Francisco. They were a precious commodity because we almost never found anything but broken shards. The waves and rocky coastline weren't kind to the slim, fragile disks.
Teatro Nuevo Mexico brings an innovative production of José Rivera's Sonnets for an Old Century to the Vortex Theatre starting this weekend. Rivera's play is a series of monologues delivered by different characters in a waiting room for the afterlife. Project director Michael Blum has recruited a dozen Albuquerque directors to direct each separate monologue. Genius or madness? You decide. Sonnets for an Old Century runs Thursdays through Saturdays at 8 p.m. $10 general, $8 students/seniors. Sundays at 6 p.m. $8. Runs through Feb. 6. 247-8600.
Poet, playwright, lyricist and performance artist Sekou Sundiata appears at UNM's Rodey Theatre this Saturday evening, Jan. 29, at 7:30 p.m. to perform his one-man show Blessing the Boats. The multimedia performance covers three difficult years in Sundiata's life during which he battled against renal disease, got a kidney transplant and almost died in a car accident. Funny, wise and deeply personal, Blessing the Boats should be an amazing show. It's being performed as part of the Revolutions International Theatre Festival. $16 general, $12 students/seniors. 266-2826.
It took cartoonist Jeff Smith 13 grueling years of blood, sweat and laughter to compose his epic comic adventure, Bone. A grand total of 38 international awards have been bestowed on the series, which follows the three Bone cousins—Fone Bone, Phony Bone and Smiley Bone—on their tragicomic journey through a fantasy medieval landscape. The entire series was recently compiled into a massive 1,300 page volume. Smith himself will be making an appearance at Santa Fe's True Believers Comics and Gallery (435 S. Guadalupe, (505) 992-TRUE, www.true-believers.com) this Thursday, Jan. 27, from 5 to 7 p.m. It'll be worth the trek for comic fans.