Alibi V.14 No.37 • Sept 15-21, 2005

feature

Happy Days, Albuquerque!

Election Day is Oct.4

As the saying goes, there's wisdom in crowds. We trust then that you, Albuquerque voters, have good sense, want to be well-informed and will attend a neighborhood mayoral forum or City Council debate. Seeing and hearing these candidates in person is always revealing in ways that reading descriptions of them in a newspaper cannot be. But if such a task is too much of a strain on your busy schedule, we'll do our best to assist in the only way we know how. We'll call it like we see it, and you can take or leave our advice.

Alibi Election Endorsements

A handy clip-out guide to bring to the polls on Tuesday, Oct. 4

Mayor: Eric Griego

City Council Races
District 1: Miguel Gómez
District 3: Isaac Benton
District 5: Michael Cadigan
District 7: Marianne Dickinson
District 9: Chris Catechis

Ballot Initiatives
Public Campaign Financing: Yes
Living Wage Ordinance: Yes
Voter ID: No

A Living Wage

We support the ballot initiative to raise the minimum wage in Albuquerque.

As you know, we're not economists. But, to be sure, we don't want to see any local businesses harmed. In fact, the Alibi is a local business and part of our business is to support other local businesses through effective, widespread advertising. When we say we care about the local economy, it's because our livelihood depends on it.

We realize this is a controversial decision and some folks in the restaurant, retail and service industries are fearful of its ill-effects. But since other cities such as San Francisco, Madison and Santa Fe have already led the way, we suggest folks consider the outcome in these parts and put their fears aside.

Voter ID

Let's not mince words here. The Voter ID proposal that will be on the ballot on Oct. 4 is a straight-up political sham. This isn't to say that requiring voters to show an ID when they go to the polls is a bad thing. It isn't. But as it stands, the current proposal leaves much to be desired.

Mayor

Eric Griego

The Alibi enthusiastically endorses City Councilor Eric Griego to be our next mayor. We believe his four years on the Council have given him the experience to make Albuquerque a safer, more efficient and economically vibrant city. We believe his vision, candor and enthusiasm will serve the city well in its pursuit of a diversified economy, better planning and honest government.

District 1

Miguel Gómez

One of the most unfortunate aspects of modern American politics is that it often takes a bloody political brawl to get voters to pay attention to an election. For better or worse, the battle for District 1 has shaped up as a vocal fight between two vehement political rivals with diametrically opposed visions for the future of both their district and our city.

Campaign Financing

In recent decades, fundraising in federal, state and municipal elections has ballooned to absurd proportions. Consequently, there's an increased and very real danger that wealthy donors and organizations will exert an unfair influence on the candidates they've showered with money. This is bad for our democracy, and it's bad for the future of our city.

District 3

Isaac Benton

District 3 is comprised of a diverse cross section of neighborhoods stretching from UNM, throughout Downtown and across to the Westside. It's the literal heart of the city, an anchor for the tourist and entertainment industries, centralizing the city's so-called "string of pearls," made up of cultural amenities like the KiMo Theater, BioPark, Explora, Old Town, Natural History Museum and the rapidly transforming EDO corridor. Intertwined with these areas are some of the city's most established, historic neighborhoods like Huning Highlands, South Broadway, East San Jose and Barelas.

District 5

Michael Cadigan

District 5 can fairly be described as the northwest quadrant of Albuquerque. The area, unfortunately, is a testament to the American dream gone fatally wrong in the form of sprawl, inept urban planning and transportation gridlock.

District 7

Marianne Dickinson

Marianne Dickinson is hands-down the best candidate running for District 7 and might be the best candidate running for any office in this year's municipal election. She's intelligent, savvy and comes with a wealth of experience in community development rooted in Albuquerque for more than 20 years.

District 9

Chris Catechis

The bad news for District 9 is that incumbent City Councilor Tina Cummins is seeking re-election. The good news is you get to vote for someone else. The even better news is you can have a candidate genuinely informed on the issues and passionate about the area—two requisites sorely lacking in Cummins. Your choices are between Vivian Cordova, Don Harris and Chris Catechis, three candidates who cited Tina Cummins' lack of responsiveness to the district's needs as reasons for running.

news

Takin' It to the Limit

New Mexico Utilities has maxed out their water rights, which could impact development on the Westside

As we in the Southwest all know, water always comes at a price. But in the near future, for residents and businesses on the Westside, that price could get pretty high. Due to a recent feud between New Mexico Utilities, the for-profit carrier for 13,000 users in the northern Westside, and the Albuquerque-Bernalillo Water Utility Authority, a joint public agency, the private company that's been serving the area for more than 30 years may be in trouble. They're currently surpassing their threshold for water rights and that could lead to some costly legal battles.

Sally's Rough Ride

Republicans scoff at Mayer's re-election bid

What a difference four years makes. When Sally Mayer ran for Albuquerque's District 7 Council seat, hardly anyone in the area knew her. Maybe for that reason she had an easy time defeating incumbent Tim Kline. Republicans accepted her as their candidate while Democrats slept.

Now That Takes Real Cajones

A few years ago, the city was in big time financial trouble. It had experienced several consecutive years of flat revenue growth (much of it due to major tax cuts enacted at the state level that severely hobbled municipal income) and a simultaneous growth in citizen expectations for services. The result was a crisis.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: England—Housing developers in Britain have come up with a novel way to move their merchandise: Buy a house, get a free pig. Property developer Jeremy Paxton has promised to supply a fully house-trained Gloucester Old Spot pig to anyone investing in a home on the exclusive Lower Mill estate, near Cirencester, Gloucestershire, southwest England. “It will make a change from having a labrador,” a spokesperson said. The unusual offer has already attracted two new homeowners.

food

All the News that's Fit to Eat ... King-Sized!

Restaurant Relief for Katrina—Hurricane Katrina has a devastating strangle-hold on the lives of countless people along the Gulf Coast, but the disaster hit especially close to home for Louisiana's hospitality workers. A huge percentage of the state's economy is based in New Orleans' bustling tourist and hospitality industries. Even without the massive appeal of Mardi Gras, New Orleans is a hub for national and international conventions, entertainment and dining. In fact, the city was chosen as one America's top five restaurant destinations by Bon Appétit just last month.

film

Reel World

Education in Acting—Frank Zuniga, former head of the New Mexico State Film Office, founder of the SouthWest Institute of Film and Television and longtime film director for Disney, is starting up a series of Red Thunder Film Academy Workshops at the National Hispanic Cultural Center. The first is a yearlong Film Acting Workshop starting Saturday, Sept. 17. This 12-week program will explore the spectrum of acting techniques and disciplines used in film acting. Character analysis, subtext, voice, body control, breathing techniques and sense memory will all be integral parts of the introductory program. A comprehensive approach is emphasized in this workshop and participants will walk away with an understanding of agents, lawyers, managers, auditions, networking and other important facets of the actor's life. The fee for the workshop is $200 a month and will be limited to 24 participants. Workshops will take place in the Roy E. Disney Center for the Performing Arts at the NHCC (1701 Fourth Street SW). For more information, contact Frank Zuniga at 898-5838.

Same-Sex Cinema

Southwest Gay & Lesbian Film Festival 2005

In only its third year of existence, the Southwest Gay & Lesbian Film Festival has grown by leaps and bounds. You'd be hard-pressed to dismiss this year's epic offering as a tiny fringe festival that caters to a local minority. With its third annual outing, the festival has become the kind of all-inclusive arts gathering that bigger cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston and Miami are lauded for. The festival also goes a long way toward establishing Albuquerque's gay, lesbian and transgender community as a mainstream economic, social and artistic force. In other words: It's huge, it's cool and it's probably good for your property values.

VideoNasty

Women's Prison Massacre (1983)

When I was but a young lad, I had the good fortune to see The Big Bird Cage at a friend's house. Written and directed by the legendary Jack Hill (Spider Baby) the film resulted in both my lifelong desire to nail Pam Grier, and my enduring affinity for women in prison films. And when it comes to the women in prison genre, few flicks get it done better than Women's Prison Massacre, directed by sleazemaster Bruno Mattei.

TV's Dramatic Return

New fall shows around the dial

TV is a numbers game, so let's look at some of this year's numbers. Of the 31 new shows hitting the networks this fall, 10 are sitcoms, only two are reality shows and a staggering 19 are hour-long dramas.

music

Music to Your Ears

Euphoria: Back in Black—Actually, it never went anywhere. Pulse manager Lisa VanDyke says that the gothic/industrial dance party does and will continue to have a home at Pulse on Thursday nights, just as it has for the past seven years. VanDyke says Euphoria is not affiliated with any other venues, and despite the recent exodus of a few employees, it's still going strong at Pulse. In fact, she says "it's only going to get better!" VanDyke and founding member DJ Vladmira plan to turn up Euphoria's voltage with local and national guest DJs, special performances and a fresh injection of electroclash into Pulse's already potent gothic/industrial cocktail. Party on, children of the night!

Concert to Benefit Katrina Victims

featuring The Folks, Anonymous Victims, Last Fifteen, Weapons of Mass Destruction, Jealous Gods, One for Hope, Scenester, Baked, The Mindy Set, Of God and Science, simple. and Feels Like Sunday

Monday, Sept. 19; the Launchpad, 7 p.m. (all-ages until 11 p.m.), $8 (proceeds go to the Hurricane Relief Fund): When the going gets tough, the tough grab a guitar. This Monday, the Launchpad plays host to a benefit concert for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, and the show will feature much more than just a smattering of local talent. Whether you're looking for the indie rock of The Mindy Set, the Zeppelin-inspired sounds of Jealous Gods or the country twanged-out pop-punk of Scenester, there's something to keep everyone in the groove. It's been said that rock and roll has the power to heal. On Monday, rock and roll—and you—have the power to help. Please do what you can, for goodness sake, and have a freaking great time doing it!

Battle of the Bands: The New Mexico Music Commission Talent Showcase

Saturday, Sept. 17, at Expo New Mexico's Ford Pavilion

Even though I'm convinced that Expo New Mexico ripped off my idea for chile relleno corn dogs, there are a few attractions at this year's fair that have managed to suspend my distrust of those midway hucksters, at least for the time being. Indeed, the New Mexico Music Commission Talent Showcase signals that better and brighter things are to come, not only at the State Fair, but for New Mexico music in general. The showcase is presented by the New Mexico Music Commission, a group that was signed into existence just last April by Governor Bill Richardson. According to its organizers, the commission's main objective is to work with local musicians in promoting their "continued creativity," and by assisting the state's music industry "in reaching its full potential." It's a step in the right direction, to say the least.

Lower Than Dirt CD Release Party

Think of lead singer Scott Salvas as a sort of metal-core ambassador. He and his band, Lower Than Dirt (or LTD as the kids call them), are dedicated to pleasing not only neo-metal devotees, but old-school metal, death metal and screamo aficionados as well. "I know every band says this, but we really do try to rock in a different way," Salvas says. "Even if somebody doesn't usually listen to metal, they can still walk away impressed by us because we put on a good rock show."

International Extreme Music Festival

with God Dethroned, Manntis, Nightrage, Hell Within, Epoch of Unlight, Lilitu and Thine Eyes Bleed

Tuesday, Sept. 20; the Launchpad (all-ages), $15: Whaaaooooaaa! Whaaoooaaaa—just one of the sounds your disgusting ears will hear tonight at the Extreme Music Festival, where morbid black metal and thrash will consume all who embark upon the Launchpad. This dark horror will result from performances by a variety of bands new to the black arts, as well as Swedish dark masters God Dethroned and Swedish/Greek/French pan-European overlords, Nightrage (not to be confused with '80s hair metal band Night Ranger, who would probably be severely augmented if they were to ever encounter Nightrage). You might feel a sense of foreboding as your brain is aggressively disassembled by a bloody onslaught of warp-speed shredding and drumming combined with incoherent, but surely evil, incantations which will come whence forth from the song-master's inner sanctum. Only the dungeons of hell and Warlock guitars could create such cacophony. If, like me, you've heard of the madness which is Northern European black metal and desire to see the massacre as well as its stateside counterpart for your ugly selves, throw the horns, get some goddamn ear plugs and join the unholy festival. Uhhhhhhhhhwwaaa, whoooaaaa, ha, ha, ha!

Sonic Reducer

Minus the Bear's lead singer, Jake Snider, has taken some heat from critics over his somewhat emotionally deprived vocals. But Menos el Oso doesn't have to be about deep-rooted feelings and catharsis for me to get behind it. It's enough that, after the first listen, hearing it again was more appealing than a night of repeated fornication. That may, perhaps, be pushing it, but fornication aside, the ideal amount of programmed beats and synthesizer, together with tremolo-guitar and downright dreamy vocals, make Menos el Oso f—ing terrific!

Flyer on the Wall

Thursday, Sept.15, at the Launchpad. See “Lucky 7.”--Get famous! Send us your upcoming show posters! Submissions should be timely, eye-catching, heavy on graphics and light on text. Flyers that are late, very dark or low in resolution won't show up in print. Send your submissions to cassyle@alibi.com or post one up at alibi.com/ads in the Gigs/Show Flyers section. (LM)

art

Culture Shock

In Memoriam—The late great poet Robert Creeley gets his due in a reading this weekend at the Anasazi Fields Winery in Placitas. Creeley died earlier this year of pneumonia following a distinguished career in which he was widely recognized as one of the most innovative poets of the last half of the 20th century.

Down the Line

The Unexpected Man at the Cell Theatre

At the top of my Christmas wish list is a piece of imaginary technology I like to call the Thought Machine. It basically consists of a set of headphones connected to a kind of ray gun. When you aim the gun at people and press the trigger, it shoots out an invisible ray that allows you to listen to their thoughts. I'm hoping that 20 years from now I'll be able to pick up one of these babies at Target for $39.95. In The Unexpected Man, a play currently running at the Cell Theatre, playwright Yasmina Reza uses a similar sort of theatrical technology to crack open the silent thoughts of her two characters.

Awadagin Pratt

Popejoy Hall

Pianist Awadagin Pratt is known for challenging the classical musical establishment by forcing his audiences to rethink the way music is heard. He will open the 2005-2006 New Mexico Symphony Orchestra season with performances of Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 3 and Mahler's Symphony No. 5 at UNM's Popejoy Hall on Friday, Sept. 16, through Saturday, Sept. 17. Come on down and check out an Albuquerque fave. Tickets range from $10 to $60. Call for times. 881-8999.

Albuquerque Pedestrian Project

Harwood Art Center

You may unknowingly be part of Alexander Ferguson's new exhibit, the Albuquerque Pedestrian Project at the Harwood Art Center (1114 Seventh Street NW). He tapes processed film to the ground in certain areas of the city, creating photographic images without a camera. Elements, people, animals and time create the image rather than light. Ferguson also made sound recordings at each site. You can hear these through headphones mounted on the walls of the exhibit, placed beside each corresponding photograph. A reception for the exhibit will be held Friday, Sept. 16, from 5 to 8:30 p.m. in the Harwood's North Gallery. Runs through Sept. 28. 242-6367.

East Meets West

An interview with Salman Rushdie

In the last decade Americans have watched dumbfounded as the Cold War evolved into the War on Terror. How did this happen? Why did it happen? And who is to blame? Perhaps the most qualified novelist in the world to address these questions is 58-year-old Salman Rushdie. Indian by way of Pakistan and Anglo by way of boarding school in England, Rushdie is a quintessential east-west soul. Born into a secular Muslim household, he experienced the wrath of Islamic fundamentalism in 1989 when Ayatollah Khomeini put a bounty on his head for the perceived slights against Muslims in his comic novel, Satanic Verses.

Alibi V.14 No.36 • Sept 8-14, 2005

feature

Haiku-ku-ka-choo

The Alibi's 14th Annual Haiku Contest

As summer heads for the highway with its slimy pink tail tucked between its trembling legs, Albuquerqueans have several causes for consolation. The soul-crushing heat is finally over. The brats are finally back in school. The giant watery brown serpent that winds through the center of our city will soon be rimmed with bright golden cottonwoods. Best of all, though, you're holding the Alibi's annual haiku contest in your hands, and that's reason enough to celebrate.
The talent on display this year is almost as mind-boggling as the vast quantity of entries we received from all over the country, with a few coming in from foreign lands. I hope you enjoy reading the winners and honorable mentions half as much as we enjoyed judging the contest. Special Alibi Haiku Command Unit 56-1A—made up of Christie Chisholm, Jessica Cassyle Carr, Laura Marrich and myself—labored for several agonizing days over the submissions. I think you'll be pleased with the results, and if you aren't, then whining, as usual, will get you nowhere.
Finally, special thanks to Bookworks (4022 Rio Grande NW, 344-8139), the District (Fourth Street and Copper, 243-0003), Ralli's (Fourth Street and Central, 243-1093) and the Guild Cinema (3405 Central NE, 255-1848) for sponsoring this year's contest.

Best Traditional Haiku

A couple more Republican presidential administrations, and there won't be any more nature worth haikuing about. So enjoy it while it lasts! Grand Imperial Mistress of Haiku Gail Miller gets a $25 gift certificate to Bookworks, a $20 certificate to the District and two passes to the Guild Cinema for a haiku that I suppose could best be labeled neotraditional. Whatever you call it, it's a beauty.

Winner
The rain falls in code—
Wet spidery penmanship
That demands cracking.
—Gail Miller

Honorable Mentions
An empty can glides
Across shattered asphalt lots
Eight pigeons take flight
—Susan Cummings

Over bleached salt flats
Ten blackbirds flapping north change
To a tar-smoke cloud
—Carol Moscrip

Strands of green kelp, locked
In late tide's rock pool, bracelet
Arms of a red star
—Carol Moscrip

A leaf falls, twig snaps
I think about winter air
Frogs freezing in mud
—Shelby Anderson

Oranges tossed upon
A river after New Year:
Souls or good fortune?
—Leslie McMurtry

Late frost fingers pinch
Buds, plump like ladies' bottoms,
Blue where pink belongs.
—Janet S. Harris

Best Albuquerque Haiku

Albuquerque has a reputation for being a gritty, down and dirty sort of town—just the sort of town, in other words, to inspire delectable haiku. Rhoda Kunin tells us that, to be fully appreciated, her winning haiku must be recited in the accent of a Transylvanian vampire. She wins a $40 certificate to Ralli's and two passes to the Guild Cinema.

Best Haiku About Why You Hate Your Job

I suppose it's to be expected that the only cheerful haiku we received in this category came from unemployed poets. Working can suck. No doubt about it. Hell, even I know that, and I work at the Alibi, which is a crazy, fun-park, merry-go-round of unadulterated orgiastic bliss compared to most jobs out there. (I once got a foot rub and wrote an article about it. You call that work? Please.) John L. Orman's grotesque haiku wins hands down (yeah, pun intended). He gets a $40 certificate to the District and two passes to the Guild Cinema.

Winner
Crank up wood chipper—
Full day of hacking up bark.
Blood! Look ma, no hands!
—John L. Orman

Honorable Mention
Telephones scream like
Wailing children with flashing
fluorescent light bones
—Amanda Rich

Smells bad I'm greasy
My boss is a fat weenie
I hate Schnitzelhut
—Diego Murray

When you work down in
the bowels of the brown earth—
dark, deep shit happens.
—John L. Orman

For me to hate my
Job would require me to seek
Gainful employment.
—MF Ward

Best Haiku About Fish Sticks

What is it about the humble fish stick that's capable of inspiring such a lyrical outpouring of insight into the human experience? Honestly, I'm not quite sure. All you've got to do is wave a thawed finger of breaded substandard fish in front of mediocre poets and suddenly they're spouting rapid-fire liquid verse like Shakespeare on amphetamines. Go figure. Gail Miller wins a $40 certificate to Ralli's and two passes to the Guild Cinema. We don't know what the heck her haiku means, but we love it anyway. Sue us.

Winner
In his wax canoe
Fish Stick glides through polar ice
While Eskimos weep.
—Gail Miller

Honorable Mention
A fish stick is like
A British man: pasty white
With a crusty shell.
—Erin Barringer

Nomenclature is
Not my specialty, but they're
Neither fish nor sticks
—Malcolm Murray

I hate the sweet ooze
that comes out of burnt fish sticks.
What the hell is it?
—Steve Murray

Went to the river
Dropped my line in the water
No fish sticks in there
—Alan Petitt

I wonder if fish
Ever thought of human sticks?
Or is that just gross?
—Leslie McMurtry

From sea to the mold
Ocean-going lollipops
More stick than a fish
—Stephen Davis

A lot of fish sticks
Going to eat all of them
Not going to share
—Ashley Encinias

Best Haiku Using the Most Letters of the Alphabet

We got a lot of variations on the old "the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dogs" chestnut from high school typing class. Good golly, you people are lazy. Come on—this is a literary contest. We're looking for some freakin' originality, people. Leslie Rottach's haiku packed the most punch. (I think I'm going to rename my band Expunge the Jackal.) She wins a $40 certificate to the District and two passes to the Guild Cinema.

Winner
Vote counts fade from view
Zoos require mob rule they say
Expunge the jackal!
—Leslie Rottach

Honorable Mentions
Tchaikovsky zeppelin
Black xylophone quail jumper
A raw Dresden fugue
—Randy Stogsdill and Abby Dozier

Jacques' xylophone shack.
Crazy markdowns! Free french fries.
Save big at "Le Shack."
—Sue McGilpin

Best Haiku About the War in Iraq

I sure hope I'm wrong about this, but it looks like we're in for a long bloody haul that will only result in a lot more hatred toward our nation and make our country a lot less safe from terrorists. Nice work, George. Sue McGilpin encapsulated the situation best. For that, she gets a $40 certificate to Ralli's and two passes to the Guild Cinema.

Winner
Perennial lies
Spiral from the highest branch.
Deciduous Bush.
—Sue McGilpin

Honorable Mention
To fight about what
Half wants to happen and half
Do not; it's called war
—Lauren Henn (sixth grader, Sandia Prep)

Children's corpses rot
In calculated rubble.
No child left behind?
—Sue McGilpin

Waging war for oil:
Making the rich get richer
While the poor get killed.
—Tommi Lin Tejeda

We lied to invade,
Now we are stuck in Iraq!
Will we lie to leave?
—Erica Kretzmann

Bombed cemetery
Near Mosul: churning the bones
Of murdered infants
—Ron Reed

Wreck Iraq for fun.
Like the father, like the son
Buy oil and sell guns.
—Steve Bishop

Best Haiku About Your First Sexual Experience

This category seemed harmless enough when we first thought of it. Somehow, though, it ended up being enormously disturbing. Perhaps the most disturbing haiku of all was Liz' winning entry. For her creeped-out honesty, she'll receive a $40 certificate to the District and two passes to the Guild Cinema.

Winner
He bought me ice cream
Like a dentist treating me
For being so still
—Liz

Honorable Mentions
We discovered each
Other like strange lands—we saw,
We conquered; he came.
—Erin M. Daughtrey

Dumb and sweet, we were
amateurs softly cruising
Past virginity.
—MF Ward

VW Bus
Passion on high, brain on low
Baby on the way
—Stephen Davis

Fear—not of the dark—
But of the Virgin Mary
Being real pissed off.
—Linda Olen

Best Alibi Haiku

Tell us what you think of us in 17 syllables. No, really, we want to know. Don't hold back. Don't kiss our butts. We're much less insecure than we might seem. We got heaping hymns of praise along with plenty of haiku scorn. Steve Bishop seemed to best capture the essence of the Alibi, so he gets the prize, a $40 certificate to Ralli's and two passes to the Guild Cinema. (By the way, who's Dennis D. O'Leary? That name sure sounds familiar.)

Winner
So very much time,
And so many typewriters.
The monkeys did it.
—Steve Bishop

Honorably Mentions
I do not believe
The semi-nude wrestler is
Not bi-curious.
—Nora Heineman-Fleck

Officer, I swear
I wrote haiku that whole night.
Check the Alibi.
—Malcolm Murray

Eating newspaper?
Want the juiciest stories?
Try the Alibi.
—Devin Hight (Albuquerque High student)

I dream of sleeping
With Dennis D. O'Leary
And wake up screaming
—Kelsey Atherton (Albuquerque High student)

Oh, dear Alibi
Where would I be without you?
Most likely prison.
—Kelsey Atherton (Albuquerque High student)

I missed the last Crawl.
Please, put advertisement near
This Modern World.
—Robert McGoey

Weekly Alibi:
Ignoring my poems since
1992
—Robert McGoey

Best Haiku About Why You Fear a Specific Species of Farm Animal

My vote for scariest farm animal is certainly the goat, yet for whatever reason I'm also oddly attracted to our voracious, horned friends in much the same way churchgoing good girls are attracted to big smelly bikers. Oh, goat, you're soooooo bad. My daddy wouldn't like you at all. Elaine Almquist's goat poem was the best entry in a very competitive category. She wins a $40 certificate to Ralli's and two passes to the Guild Cinema.

Winner
When I was a kid
A billy goat ate my belt
And my pants fell down.
—Elaine Almquist

Honorably Mentions
The old horse took my
Fingers between his teeth, held
Tight, licked off the cheese.
—Billy Crews

Oh God! That donkey
Is humping his mom again.
Please, spare the children.
—Suzanne Barteau

Psycho tom turkey
Testosterone poisoning
Has messed up your mind
—Suzanne Barteau

Two-ton hog cornered
A full grown man and ate him
Least that's what I heard
—Amanda Kooser

Bad-ass male turkey,
Running full speed at my junk!
Who wouldn't be scared?
—Roald Dali

Goats I fear the most
They work with the government
To keep taaabs on me
—R. Singleton

What doesn't he know?
Black eyed, sentient sausage.
He judges and shames.
—Gail Miller

A methane build-up,
A lit match. Moo, moo, KABOOM!
Hey, it could happen.
—Bob Sabatini

A goat chewed off my
Pants, I walked home in a great
deal of discomfort
—Chadwick Reinicke (sixth grader, Sandia Prep)

Best Miscellaneous Haiku

Ah, miscellaneous. You win us over with your worldliness. You seduce us with your sophistication. You charm us with your wit. Gail Miller won this category, too. (That's got to be some kind of Alibi Haiku Contest record.) For that, she gets a $40 certificate to Ralli's and two passes to the Guild Cinema.

Winner
Oscar Wilde's gravestone
Is frescoed in red lip prints,
Not flowers, but breath.
—Gail Miller

Honorable Mentions
Damn thee, vile haiku:
Syllabic ineptitude,
Poetry's cheap whore.
—Jamie Larkin

This haiku knows it's
A haiku. It wants schnitzel.
It hates being so short.
—Malcolm Murray

If a cat laughed jazz
In a 3 a.m. gin joint,
Would anyone hear?
—Todd Eddy

Butter flies downward
Off the knife towards the floor
Avoiding the toast
—Doug McKinnon

Bum steps in my path
He tries to sell me a watch
Given up on time
—Shelby Anderson

10 sunflower seeds.
100 hungry sparrows.
I don't want to watch.
—Wanda Jerome

Drunken vagabond
Way overdue for a bath
Pays fare in pennies.
—Brian K. Hansen

I know two poems,
One is "the road not taken,"
The other isn't.
—Tony Santiago

The first insect bike
Race, my kitchen's Tour de Ants
Leading ... Ants Armstrong
—Jarrett Stotts (sixth grader, Sandia Prep)

Introducing spoons!
No more messes or ouchies,
Old guys can use them!
—Travis Shepherd (sixth grader, Sandia Prep)

news

Thinking Outside the Box

The proposed Wal-Mart on Wyoming and Menaul heats up the District 7 race

Wal-Mart carries with it three reputations in Albuquerque: It has really low prices, pays really low wages and every time they put in a new one, it causes quite a stir. At least when it comes to this last generality, the proposed Supercenter on Wyoming and Menaul proves to be no exception. Only this time, Wal-Mart is shaking up more than the local neighborhoods, it's wedging its way right into the District 7 race for City Council.

Which Kind of Looting Is OK?

The horror, devastation and misery of Hurricane Katrina cannot be escaped. My wife and I sit riveted in front of the television screen watching astounding images as an incredible, beautiful and very special American city, a place we had grown to love, full of people we know and care for as friends, is literally erased from existence.

Gobs O' Cash

Money, money, money in the mayor's race

With this mayoral election, lil' Albuquerque has caught up to many larger cities. Maybe it's a rite of passage in graduating from "cow town with a dollop of sleaze," as one national magazine described us in the '80s, to a spot on the "best of" lists of Forbes and Money. But unlike other milestones in our city's history, we should leave this one out of our Tricentennial celebrations.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Hungary—A district mayor in Budapest has proposed a strict new dress code for City Hall employees, which would allow only women with “pretty legs” to wear short skirts. Gyorgy Mitnyan, the conservative mayor of the city's 12th district, is also trying to ban skirts that are shorter than 2-3 centimeters (one inch) above the knee. Budapest Mayor Gabor Demszky called the proposal simply “crass.” Demszky issued a statement to the Hungarian state news agency MTI, dismissing Mitnyan's “pretty legs” proposal. “I flatly reject the idea in the name of City Hall, which employs hundreds of women workers,” he said. The proposal is nevertheless scheduled for debate this week.

food

All the News that's Fit to Eat

From Farm to Table—The New Mexico State Fair kicks into gear this weekend, and with it comes parking-lot green chile, Navajo tacos and batter-dipped novelty foods out the yin-yang (Twinkie-on-a-stick, anyone?). But you must not—cannot—step foot off the fairgrounds without a visit to the New Mexico Country Store, located in the Agriculture Building at Expo New Mexico. The store is an ephemeral courtyard market, organized by the New Mexico Department of Agriculture and home to a statewide harvest of prized produce and cottage-industry products. It's the closest thing we've got to a culinary cross section of our state. Stop in for some apple-sweet onions or bag of blue corn-piñon pancake mix. You will not be disappointed.

Going Deep with Black Dog and the Frenchman

"Where the %$@# is the Frenchman?" growled Black Dog, pacing in front of his half-built mushroom dryer. Last news we had, the Frenchman was near Watson Lake, Yukon. When the Frenchman drops off radar, it's usually because he's armpit-deep in morels. The Frenchman's absence was doubly disturbing to Black Dog, because we weren't.

film

Reel World

Architecture on Screen—As part of Albuquerque's ongoing Tricentennial celebration, the city is sponsoring a night of short film screenings at the Guild Cinema in Nob Hill. September has been named Architecture Month, so the city has teamed with the American Institute of Architects-New Mexico to present “In Focus: Architecture in Film.” The screening will consist of three short documentaries, each concentrating on one of the architecture world's most famous figures. Antonio Gaudi (designer of Barcelona's Cathedral of the Sagrada Familia), Frank Lloyd Wright (designer of Pennsylvania's Falling Water) and Frank Geary (designer of the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles) are the three subjects. The films are simple introductions to and interviews with the subjects at hand, so an advanced knowledge of architecture is not necessary--just an appreciation of beautiful buildings. Yours truly, Alibi's humble film editor, will be on hand to introduce the films and to give a (decidedly) uneducated perspective on the proceedings. The screening starts at 8 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 10. The event is free and open to the public. Call 260-0571 for more info.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Laura Linney is “Perry Mason: Paranormal Litigator”

After a summer of stultifyingly formulaic films, it rests on the shoulders of the fall movie season to provide some relief. To give credit where credit is due, writer/director Scott Derrickson (writer of Urban Legends: Final Cut, director of Hellraiser: Inferno and lover of colons) has come up with an arguably original idea--namely, the world's first courtroom horror drama. Instead of the hoped-for Reese's Peanut Butter Cup combination of chocolate and peanut butter, however, Derrickson's film ends up as an unholy mixture of oil and water.

A State of Mind

Eye-opening look behind the Bamboo Curtain shows North Koreans just want to dance, dance, dance

According to President George W. Bush, North Korea is a founding member of the Axis of Evil. Aside from that rather broadly unhelpful description, what do we as Westerners know about the country? Well, not much, really.

Must Flee TV

Hurricane Katrina around the dial

Admit it. You treat The Weather Channel like one of those ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends you look up once a year when you're desperately horny and looking for a booty call. You never even think twice about The Weather Channel. OK, maybe you'll flip past it when you're going on vacation--just for a second to see if you need long or short sleeves. Other than that, you ignore it completely. Until a hurricane shows up. And then you're glued to it like weather porn.

music

Music to Your Ears

"Euphoria" and Pulse Part Ways—New Mexico's premier gothic and industrial dance party is moving on to darker pastures, so to speak. Promoter Brad Cole says that after several years at Pulse Nightclub, "Euphoria" has been dissolved, renamed and relocated to Downtown's OPM Nightclub. The move is being engineered by Cole and resident DJs Kentifyr and Church, all of whom are deeply rooted in Albuquerque's gothic and industrial scene. And like a macabre phoenix risen from its own jet-black ashes, "this night has already gone through many types of incarnations and names, and no two are ever the same," Cole says. "It's always a little different, which is a good thing."

Tiempo Libre

with Racine & Kreyol

Saturday, Sept. 10; El Rey Theatre (21-and-older): Tiempo Libre plays the type of music that makes you feel justified for spending hours with your partner taking Latin dance classes. As Tiempo's unabashedly piquant brass and layered percussion invades your eardrums, you'll want to know the proper maneuvers when your waist (through no fault of your own) starts winding this-way-and-that. If you do not have the necessary training, don't be surprised if your hips feel like shit in the morning. Tiempo plays a unique style of Cuban music called timba, which differentiates itself from most other forms of Latin music by using a full drum set, as well as the more traditional congas and timbales, to form the rhythm section. The band's latest release, Arroz Con Mango, proves the band can go low-key by utilizing lounge-ish keyboard and cooled-out percussion. The primo Tiempo cuts, however, are filled to capacity with complex arrangements and frenzied tempos that can't help but elevate your mood. Tiempo's distinctive authenticity (which stems from the fact that each of the band's seven members are originally from Cuba) has cultivated a following in such unexpected places as Southeast Asia. As for the fear of not having the right moves on the dance floor, Tiempo's bandleader and pianist Jorge Gomez offered some comforting words to the Chicago Tribune: "We're just trying to encourage people to get up and feel free; that's the secret of timba." Just bring a few ICY HOT Sleeves™ to the show and you should be fine. Call 249-7638 for ticket information.

The Posies

with The Deathray Davies and The Mindy Set

Monday, Sept. 12; The Launchpad (21-and-older), $8: After a six-year hiatus, The Posies found themselves in a recording studio in February of 2004 with three weeks to put together a full-length release. The fruits of their labor came in the form of 2005's Every Kind of Light, a beautifully crafted, 12-song LP with a level of quality that gives no indication of the album's rushed construction. EKOL most definitely does not leave the band's past work in the dust. But The Posies are careful to avoid the treacherous path traveled by some bands that erroneously cling to a past that no longer holds any creative nectar (I'm looking at you, Sonic Youth). The band takes the playfully distraught tone of Nada Surf, and combines it with Elliot Smith-ish vocals and Weezer-esque guitar to produce eccentric tracks that never lose their pop presence. The Posies are the type of musical outfit that would get their fair share of radio play if we had more than one decent goddamn radio station in this state (KUNM can only carry so much of the burden). But never mind the lack of airtime; your chance to hear The Posies live arrives on Monday. The 21-and-older show at the Launchpad will also feature Albuquerque's The Mindy Set, whose songs should complement The Posies new, more indie sound quite nicely.

Sonic Reducer

Country riffs and ballads about pretty girls, combined with '60s pop percussion and organs, create an atmosphere like that of a dance in the old high school gym. When Johnny can't muster the courage to ask Suzy to put her back into it—er, shake a leg—he huffs off to his '48 Buick to take a few swigs of hooch. Later at Inspiration Point, Johnny gets to first base. Way to go, Johnny! The Volebeats hail from Detroit, have singer/guitarist Matthew Smith in common with Outrageous Cherry and have been making country-esque pop rock since 1988. With their simplicity, lo-fi recording and tales of romantic triumph, Like Her is both nifty and swell.

Flyer on the Wall

Why the hell isn't your band's flyer here? Because you didn't post one up at alibi.com/ads, like the Ya Ya Boom Project did. They're playing an over-21 show this Saturday, Sept. 10, at Burt's with the Bellmont and the Giranimals. (LM)

A Shocking Interview with the Shock Master, Alice Cooper!

Actually, for it to really be shocking, I'd have to chop your head off

While Alice Cooper really needs no introduction, the rockstar-golfer-radio personality-sportsbar owner is still alive and purveying blood and guts in front of live audiences around the world. He and his guillotine will be visiting Albuquerque this week, and recently the Alibi was allocated 15 minutes to speak with him. Welcome to our nightmare.

art

Culture Shock

Worldly Art—The Downtown Contemporary Art Center (105 Fourth Street SW) has put together an ambitious exhibit consisting entirely of artists from Korea—53 of them, to be exact. The Downtown art space will host the exhibit through the end of the month. For details, call 242-1983.

Worshipping Mammon

Donkey Gallery

Don't lend Chad Person any money. The UNM art graduate has created arresting images from shredded American dollar bills. An exhibit featuring some of his latest work opens at the Donkey Gallery (1415 Fourth Street SW) this Friday, Sept. 9, with a reception from 6 to 9 p.m. Person explores the spirituality of material goods and the American obsession with monetary wealth and material accumulation. Friday also marks the one-year anniversary of the Donkey Gallery, so there's an added reason to celebrate. For details, call 242-7504.

Comedie of Erors

Adobe Theater

The Adobe Theater presents Comedie of Erors (yes, it's intentionally misspelled), a comedy by William Shakespeare running Sept. 9 through Oct. 2. Directed by Rick Wiles, the play explores identity theft among two pairs of twins. They unknowingly come upon each other in the same town after years of separation. Chaotic multiple-identity madness ensues. The Adobe Theater is located at 9813 Fourth Street NW. For dates, times and ticket prices, call 898-9222.

Hometown Heroes

The Albuquerque Slam Team

The children's eyes shimmer
Even after they realize
the world won't
—Cuffee

The Mind's Temple

An interview with Judy Norsigian, author of Our Bodies, Ourselves

Some people might say the women's health movement began with a book. It wasn't a particularly fancy document—no smooth pages filled with colored illustrations or shiny, plastic cover. But it was pivotal to the way that many women, over the last 35 years, would come to understand their bodies.

Alibi V.14 No.35 • Sept 1-7, 2005

feature

Global Reducer

Everything you need to know about this year's featured performances

If you've ever listened to KUNM's Sunday afternoon program "Singing Wire," you may have already heard Black Eagle. Since 1989, this Grammy award-winning group from the Pueblo of Jemez has been performing traditional and original Powwow songs in the Towa language.

The World Comes to Albuquerque

Thirteen Acts. Five Continents. Two Men.

It's easy to get carried away when you talk to Tom Frouge and Neal Copperman. The two music promoters are easygoing, friendly and focused. They're also very big on ideas. So big, in fact, that they had the audacity to conceive, plan and execute the biggest "world music" event ever to grace an Albuquerque stage—all in the span of just nine months. It's an amazing feat. Still, organizing Globalquerque almost sounds easy once you get talking to them.

news

Land Swap

The possible sale of Westland Development may have far-reaching implications

It's not every day that someone sets about selling a city; or, at least, a potential city. It's also not every day that someone tries to sell a birthright. Yet, on the cusp of our very own metropolis, such a proposition is underway.

Short and Sad

The City Council's special meeting on Aug. 22 adjourned in less than two hours so that councilors could attend the Rosary for slain APD officer Michael R. King.

There Are Alternatives to War

Of all the lies the Bush administration has propagated, perhaps the most dangerous is the falsehood that we have no choice in Iraq right now; we simply have to stay the course. Our national honor, our security, our historic mission—they all demand it of us.

Eminence Front

Proposal to staunch sale of alcohol at all-ages shows smells like a put-on

On the surface, it sounds like a reasonable plan. Mayor Martin Chavez wants to protect the children of Albuquerque from the "bad element" Downtown, so he asked the state Alcohol and Gaming Division to ban alcohol sales at all-age live music events hosted at bars like the Launchpad and Sunshine Theater and 18-and-over theme parties at the Colosseum nightclub.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Thailand—Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra is furious over news that one of his Cabinet ministers has had penis enlargement surgery. The allegations came from a woman who is being sued by a plastic surgery clinic for defamation after she claimed it gave her a face-disfiguring silicon injection. The woman, named Rawiwan Sitharat, claims that a prominent member of Shinawatra's Cabinet had received a penis enlargement injection at the same clinic and urged him to come forward as a witness for her defense. Sitharat held a press conference on the steps of Government House last Tuesday and said to the unnamed politician, “The problem with my face is bigger than the problem with your penis.” According to The Nation newspaper, Shinawatra demanded to know who had the manhood-enhancing procedure at Tuesday's Cabinet meeting. “This has affected the reputation of the Cabinet, because the news went around the world. I don't want the people to think the Cabinet members are obsessed with this kind of thing,” the newspaper quoted Shinawatra as telling his ministers. Speaking to reporters after the meeting, Agriculture Minister Sudarat Keyuraphan said no one had owned up to the enlargement.

art

Culture Shock

On the train line from Paris to Frankfurt, a well-known novelist comes into contact with one of his biggest fans in Yasmina Reza's play The Unexpected Man, opening Thursday, Sept. 1, at the Cell Theatre (700 First Street NW). Directed by Jacqueline Reid and starring Gary Houston and Laurie Thomas, the play is the latest production by the Fusion Theatre Company, one of our city's most reliably excellent theater groups. The Unexpected Man runs Thursdays through Saturdays at 8 p.m., Sundays at 2 p.m., through Sept. 25. Tickets are $22 general, $17 students/seniors, with a $10 student rush (with valid ID) and $15 actor rush (with professional résumé) on Thursdays that excludes the catered opening reception. For details, call 766-9412.

God is Almost Dead

Prelude to Spanish Modernism: Fortuny to Picasso at the Albuquerque Museum

I've heard a lot of people griping about how much the Tricentennial celebration is costing our city. Get over it. Question: How often does the city's 300th birthday come around? Answer: Only once in 300 years. We've got reason to celebrate.

Out of the Past Into the Future

An exhibit celebrating the 10-year history of the art group Mezcla opens this weekend at the KiMo. Mezcla banded in 1995 to explore their diverse styles of work in and around Albuquerque. Since then, they've also shown their work in Florida and Denver. Methods of art-making include pastels, sculpture, cut paper and pointillism. There also will be a public forum on Friday, Sept. 2, at the South Broadway Cultural Center on 1025 Broadway SE from 7 to 8:30 p.m. in which everyone is invited to meet the artists and discuss their work. Attend the group's reception at the KiMo the next day from 10 a.m. to noon. For details, call Patricia at 232-8900.

Batman Starts or Something

Gorilla Tango Comedy Theatre

Tonight, the Eat, Drink and Be Larry comedy troupe performs a madcap parody of Batman at Gorilla Tango Comedy Theatre, located Downtown between Fifth and Sixth Streets. Batman Starts or Something will be partly scripted and partly based on suggestions from the audience. Everyone's going to be there—Joker, Riddler, Catwoman, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Superman and Aguaman! Bring the whole family, the in-laws, the outlaws—everyone. Kids can come dressed as their alter-ego superhero. The show runs Fridays and Saturdays at 10:30 p.m. ($10) and Sundays at 6 p.m. ($8) through Sept. 11. 245-8600.

film

Reel World

SWFC Schedule—The SouthWest Film Center at UNM has just reopened for the fall semester. The SWFC has been a treasure trove of classic cinema, foreign films and independent fare. Over the decades, I've been exposed to dozens of great films hunched in the dark of UNM's Student Union Building basement. The Killer, Hardboiled, Akira, Peking Opera Blues, The Kingdom, Institute Benjamenta, Suture, Le Samourai, Diary of a Lost Girl, Six-String Samurai, Shallow Grave, The Underneath, Cold Fever, Public Access, Capitaine Conan and Beyond the Valley of the Dolls are just a sampling of the great films I was exposed to there throughout the '90s.

Never Been Thawed

Satyrical sub-indie comedy finds the funny in frozen food

Shooting like a rocket out of that red-hot mecca of filmmaking, Tempe, Ariz., comes writer/director Sean Anders' subculture-skewering mockumentary Never Been Thawed. Not content to lampoon average everyday dorks, nbt--as the film is more casually known--invents its own oddball obsession. The title refers to the pristine condition favored by the socially retarded members of a Mesa, Ariz., frozen TV dinner collecting club--or “frozen entree enthusiasts” as they prefer to be called. (And no, potpies are not considered frozen entrees, so don't ask again!)

Junebug

Southern-fried drama mixes sweet and sour for a refreshing change of pace

A hit on the film fest circuit (multiple award nominee at Sundance) and a sleeper in theaters, Junebug is just the sort of intimate, slow-moving, sotto voce ensemble character study you need to clean the overbearing, sticky-sweet taste of summer movie residue from your mouth.

Crónicas

Network meets Silence of the Lambs in offbeat import.

In his first Spanish-language film, American comedian/actor John Leguizamo plays an oily news reporter working for a Latin tabloid TV show in Miami. Manolo Bonilla (Leguizamo) is a good-looking, fast-talking media-age vampire, winging his way through South America looking for blood to suck. He finds a plentiful supply in Ecuador where a serial killer known as “The Monster of Babahoyo” has raped and murdered dozens of young children.

Ad Nauseum

BK loves BJ?

Aside from that hour you spent huffing Vick's VapoRub beside a Walgreen's dumpster before your last Narcotics Anonymous meeting, have you ever had what the 12-steppers call “a moment of clarity”? You know what I'm talking about--one of those tiny tremors in time where you suddenly see it all and you think, “Good lord, am I the only sane person on Earth?” ... I have them all the damn time.

music

Music to Your Ears

Make Some Noise, Get Involved—Nora White, author of this week's "Spotlight" column, invites you to get involved in forming a solution to the all-ages debate. You can start by bringing your ideas to the Launchpad (618 Central SW) on Sunday, October 23, at 3 p.m., for a Musicians And Parents (MAP) meeting. The group was formed as a way to "map" out how our representatives can support a viable, nonalcoholic, all-ages music venue Downtown. And you can still submit written comments to the state Gaming Division until September 30, 2005. Send yours to PO Box 25101, Santa Fe, NM 87504-5101. Check out rld.state.nm.us/agd/ for updates on the final outcome of the hearings. For more information on any of this stuff, you can contact Nora at buddhabetties@hotmail.com.

Out Of The Garage And Into The Streets

Musings on this weekend's Rocksquawk.com Music Showcase

Because we thought the Rocksquawk.com Music Showcase turned out to be totally rad, a few of us here at the Alibi thought we'd reflect on the matter.

Lyle Lovett & His Large Band

Saturday, September 3; 7:30 p.m. at the Santa Fe Opera (all-ages): Although Lyle Lovett's base has always been country music, including the influence of musicians like Guy Clark and the late Townes Van Zandt, his songwriting put him on pop and country charts alike. But both "pop" and "country" are too one-dimensional to describe Lovett. In the last two decades, Lovett has garnered a cult of Lyleophiles who feed on the genre lines he continually toes. Building on the careful lyric and melody found in Clark and Van Zandt's work, Lovett has developed a distinct, country-tinged blend of gospel, folk, blues, swing, bluegrass, jazz and pop. In the end, Lovett's success has everything to do with his literary talent and the voice he uses to deliver it. Seriously ladies, forget the huge bouffant he teased in the '80s. That voice and those songs could woo any woman. And we must be clear on one thing that is central to this cowboy's craft: Lyle Lovett is a weird man. His art is deeply invested in people's quirks and the irony of so-called normal life. Lovett is tongue-in-cheek even while singing earnestly; true Lyleophiles know there's always more than one layer to a Lovett song. His recent albums are less the odd ballads and more straight-ahead country. It's music that follows a history of smart songwriting, and although the sound is definitely country, the lyrics far surpass most of what's passing for country today. Lovett's latest album, My Baby Don't Tolerate, may tell the secret of his success: "I live in my own mind/Ain't nothing but a good time."

Black Tie CD Release Party

with Transmogrophy, Los Brownspots and Oktober People

Friday, September 2; Atomic Cantina, 10 p.m. (21-and-older), free: Guitar music has never sounded so good, as it takes the form of a side project known as Black Tie. The new local incantation is powered by Roger Apodaca (Scenester) and made possible by seven supplemental musicians assisting with vocals, drums, keyboards, cello, electronic programming and other sounds. These songs are a collection of brooding and spacey guitar-driven compositions that have the power to catapult the listener into an otherworldly state of hypnosis. And while Black Tie undoubtedly references Mogwai, integrity remains intact as the music maintains its uniqueness and conveys its own euphonious narrative. The album in celebration, At Dawn, will probably not appeal to pop fans, but will instead capture the hearts of musicians and all who appreciate indie experimentation.

This is the Beginning, Not the End

An informed opinion on last week's all-ages forum

A new music movement has just begun in Albuquerque. It is made up of intelligent, creative and articulate youth who have come to the political table regarding the health of their music community, and they are demanding that their so-called leaders listen. Simply put, this can only be a good thing. The kids are more than alright.

Sonic Reducer

Washington state, home of Schoolyard Heroes, is full of the kind of thick, damp forests perfect for shooting B-grade horror films. Fitting, indeed. What we have here are 10 mathy prog-punk tracks reminiscent of the soundtrack to an old-school Nintendo game, eerily reimagined with buzzing, hyper-charged Dick Dale-style guitar riffs and thick, heavy bass lines. To this foundation, add a banshee chanteuse of the macabre (Ryann Donnelly), wailing passionate, frightful narratives about the children of the Hydra, the party habits of serial killers, undressing wounds to lick the sores and several other healthy portions of schlock cinema imagery, and you've got Fantastic Wounds. Fan-bloody-tastic.

Flyer on the Wall

Harry from Unit 7 Drain made this flyer with only his two bare hands and Photoshop. He wants you all to know that his band (Unit 7 Drain) will play this (Friday), Sept 2, at Burt's Tiki Lounge along with Oktober People, The Mindy Set and Love Overdose. And that it's free, as always. And that you must be 21 to party. (LM)

food

All the Booze That's Fit to Drink

Wine festival season is upon us and drunken gluttony is the name of the game! This unique breed of harvest celebration has been going strong in New Mexico for nearly two decades, starting with the the New Mexico Wine Festival, which kicked it all off 18 years ago. You can continue the tradition this Friday, Saturday and Sunday from noon to 6 p.m. at the Bernalillo Wine Festival Grounds. And if you happen to go on Saturday, be sure to stop by the Anasazi Fields Winery booth, where Andy Sandersier, author of the excellent The Wines of New Mexico, will sign his book from 2 to 4 p.m. For more information call 899-3815. Then there's the Harvest Wine Festival at the Southern New Mexico Fairgrounds in Las Cruces. Highlights include hourly grape-stomping competitions that only get better as the day wears on. For more information and driving directions, log on to nmwine.com.

A Taste of What's to Come

TVI's Culinary Arts students show us what they're made of

This past Sunday, the city wrapped up its Tricentennial celebration of cuisine and agriculture with "A Taste of Albuquerque" at the Albuquerque Convention Center. Booth after booth offered up exquisite foods from the area's best restaurants, but the real stars of the evening were hard at work, preparing gourmet meals on a tight schedule for the "TVI Culinary Challenge." Students enrolled in the TVI Culinary Arts program got to compete in a two-hour battle that included a strict scoring system and a "mystery basket" of ingredients. Sysco Foods of New Mexico, Bueno Foods and Southwest Wine and Spirits provided the food, equipment, prizes and scholarship money that was awarded to the top three up-and-coming chefs. They were: Melissa Moore in first, Pat Klaurens in second, Ernest Andazola in third and Tim Wood as first runner-up. Congratulations!