Hey, egghead, have we got a treat for you. If you can complete these 20 questions correctly and turn them in sooner than anyone else along with a completed angry monkey puzzle (see facing page), you will be rewarded with a jaw-dropping jackpot of fabulous prizes, including a $15 gift certificate to Bookworks, a "mystery" gift certificate to Mecca Records, a whopping $100 gift certificate to the District, a box of Belgian chocolates from Wild Oats, an Alibi T-shirt, and last but certainly not least, an official Alibi flyswatter that will make you the envy of all your fellow eggheads.
Is your name Linthor, the High Unicorn of the Known Seven Realms of Strandall?
Is there only one of you?
Are you a horse, but gay?
Are you pure and good?
Do you have a mane of snowy white with lavender highlights?
The entire staff of the Alibi took the following quiz, and to our dismay the answer is yes—yes, we are all going to hell. I, for one, don't care. It's going to be a party down there complete with delicious pelican meat.
Choose the answer that most closely applies to your guy.
1. You met him _______.
a.) in your dreams
b.) while on a bender
c.) on a dark and stormy night
2. When you go out on dates _______.
a.) his teeth sparkle and his ponytail gleams
b.) it's always slightly uncomfortable
c.) chicken fries are usually involved
3. He spends his free time _______.
a.) getting kittens out of trees
b.) working on his look
c.) kicking around the hack
4. Bedtime is the right time for _______.
a.) magic and tenderness
b.) moderate satisfaction
5. If he were an art movement he'd be ______.
a.) neoclassical; noble and tasteful
b.) impressionism; widely reproduced
c.) claymation; not even an art movement
6. His main form of transportation is ______.
a.) his pet pegasus
b.) a dune buggy
c.) your car
7. If he were an animal he'd be ______.
a.) a ferocious lion with a heart of gold
b.) a kitty cat
c.) dead, inedible chicken fries
8. His future plans include ______.
a.) mastering human flight
c.) Steel Reserve
9. He plans to accrue wealth through ______.
a.) his breakthrough concepts on human existence
c.) winning big on scratchers
10. Your relationship will be history when ______.
a.) he meets the long sleep of death
b.) like clear Pepsi, his charms fizzle out
c.) a blonde stripper named Krystal comes into the picture
Council president Brad Winter began the Nov. 21 meeting by presenting engraved Nambé ware platters to departing councilors Miguel Gómez and Tina Cummins. Cummins, who said she would be seeing the other councilors often but wouldn't miss council meetings, left shortly after.
Dateline: Scotland—A real estate developer in central Scotland has had to scrap plans for a new housing development thanks to an alleged colony of fairies. Marcus Salter, head of Genesis Properties, says that a small group of villagers in St. Fillans, Perthshire, has protested his development plans, saying they would “harm the fairies.” Troubles began when Salter's company sent a bulldozer crew to begin work on the site just outside the village, overlooking the eastern shore of Loch Earn. Salter told The Times, “A neighbor came over shouting, ’Don't move that rock. You'll kill the fairies.'” Genesis Properties later received a series of phone calls saying their work was disturbing the local fairies. Salter tried to appease the locals by working around the disputed rock, upon which many locals believe ancient Pictish kings were crowned, but villagers continued to complain that the fairies would be “upset” by the work. “I went to a meeting of the community council and the concerns cropped up there,” Salter told reporters. The council was even considering lodging a complaint with the planning authority, likely to be the kiss of death for a housing development in a national park. “I do believe in fairies, but I can't be sure they live under that rock,” Council Chairman Jeannie Fox told The Times. Nonetheless, Fox believes the stone should remain unmolested. “There are a lot of superstitions going about up here and people do believe that things like standing stones and large rocks should never be moved.” Salter's new plans are to center the estate around a small park, in the middle of which will stand the disputed rock. He estimates that the fairy dispute has cost him some $30,000.
Ski Lift Cinema—If you're a hardcore, mountain-
The One Question IQ Test—What's the best album of all time, in five words or less? If you can answer this deceptively simple query correctly, you'll prove yourself to be the total musical genius you always thought you were. And if you reveal the identities of this week's three Sonic Reducer "Mystery Albums" (answers must include the artist's name, album title and record company of each), as well as the answer to our Flyer on the Wall Brain Tickler, you can also win an Alibi local music starter kit. That includes every album ever released by Socyermom Records (in the neighborhood of 15 albums, including the new Rock Outside The Box Vol. 2, and the much-coveted Ouch! compilation), three Detach Records releases, a Romeo Goes To Hell shirt and 25 local band buttons from rockstar clothiers I Heart Machine. We'll even throw in two tickets to Hella, a cool/weird electronic band off the Kill Rockstars label, who'll perform at the Launchpad on Thursday, Dec. 15. The first to e-mail the correct batch of answers (again: One Question IQ Test, Sonic Reducer Mystery Albums and the Flyer on the Wall Brain Tickler) to firstname.lastname@example.org wins the booty. Which is not as sweet as my booty, but it's still pretty fantastic.
I paid a visit to DJ Wataso while he was getting ready for his upcoming birthday show with CrazyFool and Felonious Groove Foundation at the District on Friday, Dec. 2. "How many people live in this tiny, one bedroom apartment?" I wondered aloud. "Three," he replied, not even looking up from his turntables. "How old are you all?" I asked, looking around his sloppy digs. "Come Friday, the product of our ages will be 225, while the sum is the same as the apartment number we're in, which is 31," he replied. "Well, are you the oldest?" I asked. "Why yes, I am," he responded. So, how old will DJ Wataso turn this Friday? (LM)
Art 'Round Every Corner—It's an especially groovy weekend for new exhibits here in Albuquerque. First off, over at Sol Arts (712 Central SE), there'll be a special comics extravaganza on Saturday, Dec. 3, to benefit Sweet Seven Thousands Baaad Assss Comics, a collective of Northern New Mexico writers and artists all of whom are interested in promoting the medium of comics. The event runs from noon to 6 p.m. For a mere $5, you'll get a full afternoon of entertainment including everything from music, poetry, film, video and caricatures to haircuts by the Blue Monkey School of Cosmetology. (I'm not sure what that's about.) For details, call 244-0049.
Ninja Sushi is Under New Management—Yun-Hee Kirson recently took over the Japanese restaurant that sits on the Northeast corner of San Pedro and Montgomery, while her brother, James Oh, is stepping up behind the line. Yun-Hee says James, a former Samurai Grill sushi chef, has a wonderful repertoire of new and traditional sushi creations to offer the restaurant. The pair plan to change the name of the restaurant to Midori—the Japanese word for "green," and a popular woman's name in Japan. Ninja Sushi is closed Sunday mornings and Mondays, and open for lunch on weekdays from 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Dinner is served from 5 to 9:30 p.m. on weekdays, or until 10 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Call 830-2507 to your order in.
Are you a bonafide gastronomical sleuth? Test your noodle with these food-based brainteasers and find out! Answer the trivia questions on the first page of the Food Section, then match each down-market beer with its corresponding slogan on this page. Mail both sets of answers to “Food Quiz” at 2118 Central SE PMB 151, Albuquerque, N.M., 87106. The first person to correctly answer the trivia and match the beer will win a fabulous pile of prizes, including two $25 Wild Oats gift certificates (a combined value of $50), a box of Wild Oats brand natural Belgian Chocolates and a FirmGrip Straight Peeler by Edge Resources.
1. What is the name of the reaction that causes onions to change colors when cooked and turns the natural sulfurs into sugars?
A. The Pavlov reaction
B. The Maillard reaction
C. The Brown reaction
D. The Anthocyanin reaction
2. The flavor of mushrooms is caused by this naturally-
A. sulfuric acid
B. salicylic acid
C. glutamic acid
D. lysergic acid
3. Green spots on potatoes are caused by overexposure to which element?
4. What percentage of beef cows in the United States are given growth hormones?
A. 40 percent
B. 50 percent
C. 70 percent
D. 90 percent
5. In what year were potato chips invented?