Lots of Thanks—Undo that buckle, unzip those pants, lean back on the couch and just wait it out. Don't even think about getting up and walking around. What? Are you crazy? You could hurt yourself! Your intestines are about to burst wide open. Now isn't the time for any sudden movements. Just sit back and work through the pain, eventually all that excess food will dissipate into either your digestive system or the municipal sewage system. Shouldn't take longer than 24 hours or so.
Sickness!—It's gross, or as my kid brother would say, "grody."
Now that the canvassing board has finished its accounting, the results of the 2006 election have been finalized and the victors at the polls sent off to get to work on behalf of the public good, at last we can get busy with … the 2008 campaign!
Dateline: Russia--A Russian woman who drank more than 1,300 gallons of Coca Cola has successfully sued the soft drink giant for making her ill. Natalya Kashuba, 27, the owner of a fancy clothing boutique, consumed up to 3 quarts of the soda every day for five years. She took legal action against the soft drink company after claiming she suffered insomnia and heartburn. Miss Kashuba said she became addicted to the drink as a result of a promotional offer that allowed consumers to swap Coca Cola caps for prizes. Dozens of inflatable mattresses and radios she won were used as key evidence in the case. The plaintiff’s lawyer said that as a result of an examination by a gastroenterologist in October 2005, his client was diagnosed with a chronic condition “whose main symptom was heartburn.” Two Russian courts agreed that Coca Cola had failed to warn of the potential health risks of drinking too much Coke and awarded Ms. Kashuba just under $100. Kashuba is seeking a further $100,000 from Coca Cola in “moral damages.”
Alerting All Animators--To showcase the talent the Southwest has to offer, the New Mexico Adobe User Group is hosting its first annual “Best in the SW Flash Animation and Motions Graphics Festival.” As a way of celebrating the recent growth of the film industry in New Mexico, the group is encouraging local creative types to participate in this digitally animated event. Grand prize is Adobe Studio 8--a tasty bit of software with a retail value of $999! Prizes will be awarded for Best of Show, Best Cartoon, Best Motion Graphic and Best Student Work. Deadline to enter is midnight, Nov. 26, 2006. Best in the SW Animation Festival will take place Dec. 2, from 4 to 5 p.m. at the close of AdobeQuerque, the Adobe Creative Tools Mini-Conference taking place at UNM’s Continuing Ed. Winning entries will be posted on the Best in the SW website. For complete details, visit the website (www.bestinthesw.com) or e-mail email@example.com. For more information about the Adobe Users Group or details on the AdobeQuerque conference, log on to www.nmaug.com.
Owl Green--The Launchpad doesn't really have a roof, so in an attempt to rid itself of the pigeons that routinely bomb the upstairs chamber with their mess, a fake owl was placed near the point of entry in hopes that it would scare the birds away. Whether or not it worked, the fake owl became an esteemed member of the Launchpad ménage, going on to take part in special Launchpad performances, and overseeing the bar's beer taps. Owl Green is that fake bird's name, and now a new establishment in town is its namesake. Word has it that longtime Launchpad barkeep Noelan Ramirez has opened Owl Green's Music, a downtown music store catering to folks in need of last-minute supplies, designed for convenience, not competition. In addition to sundries like cables, picks and drumsticks, he will also carry more substantial equipment, such as keytars, bongo drums and fiddle sticks. Just kidding: He'll actually have major brands as well as consignment guitars, amps, drums and stuff. And since Noelan is a drummer, he's carrying a special line of percussion instruments, including tambourines affixed with disco lights (that's right, dream weaver). All of this will fit into a small space in the shop strip at 121 Seventh Street NW between Central and Copper, which is close enough to the Launchpad for OG to fly back and forth between the two. Temporarily, the hours are 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Saturday, but the store will soon be open until 9 p.m. Call 243-1889 for more information.
Talib Kweli isn’t landing at the Sunshine Theater until next Thursday, Nov. 30, but you’ll need this extra time to scrape together the $20 to get in. All-ages, with Buckshot (Black Moon and Boot Camp Clik) opening. (LM)
There's nothing better than being a part of something that's happening right now. My superficial preoccupation with discovering the newest, secret-est band is an exercise in self indulgence I’m happy to entertain, especially when it leads me to something as exceptionally unique as Brooklyn’s Asobi Seksu.
Ireland could begin producing a torrent of world-class chemists, shot putters, pet doctors or dentists, but it will be a long while before it escapes its reputation as the place where people can do three things better than anywhere else in the world: sing, drink and spout poetry.