There are things in the world beyond your understanding. One is Bitcoin and another is Kanye West. Now, you can save time by not understanding both in one convenient package: the Coinye. Kanye, by the way, is totally suing.

Just because the cops tell you to administer a forcible enema and colonoscopy doesn't mean you should do it.

A family and their dog barricaded in a bedroom and police frantically dialing animal control. When will humanity learn its lesson? Beware the cats of Portland.

In the wake of WIPP's radioactive leakages, officials at Los Alamos say they are looking into "alternatives" for storing their toxic waste. No word on what those alternatives are, but this analyst suggests shoving the boxes all the way into the back of the closet and then putting more boxes on top of them.

The Neverlanders Social Club, with their Walt Disney tattoos, cartoon character dress code and penchant for hanging around the Small World ride, may not fill you with fear, but you're bound to be unnerved.

Finally, all you never wanted to know about what went wrong with 1994's Street Fighter movie REVEALED.

“Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.” –Robert Frost | Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

Burt's on 3/6. Gorgeous lady. You were all dressed in black and dancing by yourself. I wanted to come talk to you. You're incredibly beautiful and a very good dancer. Me: the guy sitting at the booth that couldn't take his eyes off of you. I'm hoping there's a spark between us. Please contact me.

Dear Yoga Pants-wearing Ayurvedic naughty little beast, for your valuable advice and kind words. Unfortunately, the woman who holds my heart captive will not set it free while at the same time not making herself emotionally available. Many thanks, a hairless Kapha Dosha type.