Alibi V.16 No.27 • July 5-11, 2007

Culture Shock

Freedom Rock—My eternal gratitude to everyone who came out for the Alibi's Festival of Opinions last Saturday on the Fourth Street mall. To paraphrase Bob Dylan, it was hotter than a crotch out there, so the folks that participated truly showed their dedication to free speech and the First Amendment. I lost four pounds in sweat, one pound for each hour in the heat, but the music was especially fantastic. Thanks to Selsun Blue, Fast Heart Mart and Daddy Long Loin for the tunes. And a big burlap sack stuffed with gratitude for the drummer from Selsun Blue who climbed up the light pole to plug in the extension cord. That was impressive. As you all know, freedom without electricity really isn't worth celebrating.

May 19 deadline for 2017 Operation Art Box Submissions

Get hip to the deets

Weekly Alibi is currently accepting artists' design submissions for our Operation Art Box project and May 19 is this year's deadline for arguments and illustrations coherently explaining in some detail why and how you would transform an Alibi box. Throw in some examples of your past and current artistic endeavors while you're at it. Using "art box" in the subject line, email us at artbox@alibi.com or address snail mail to "Art Box" c/o Weekly Alibi Circulation Department, 413 Central NW, ABQ, NM 87102; drop proposals off in person at the same address or hit us up on Facebook. All submissions must include your full name, a working telephone number and the right stuff.

feature

O, Canada!

With Canada Day on July 1 come and gone with little fanfare, we thought it appropriate to get the good word out: Canada is a great nation, full of wonder to be found in its majestic national parks, its superior national policy, its magnificent natural resources and its myriad funny accents. So let us take a little trip north, eh?

Canadian Man on the Street

On a recent trip to Edmonton, I pounced on the chance to ask real, live Canadians about their homeland. What's more, these aren't any regular old Canadians, they're improvisers; comedians contributing to one of the finest traditions and exports of the nation. All four Canucks were asked, "What does Canada mean to you?" Find out what they say below, eh?

Timber!

The rise and fall of the mighty lumberjack

We are all frightened of lumberjacks. This is a fact that is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. It is important, however, to recognize that as humans, it is common to fear what we do not understand. Let us closely examine the lumberjack to try to better understand these brawny woodsmen of the northern forests.

The “O Canada” Personality Test TM

What Canadian Province or Territory are You?

Are you cold and forbidding? Vast and French-speaking? Pastoral and surrounded by ocean? Or maybe you're just Manitoba. We can all find a bit of ourselves in a Canadian province or territory. Learn more about you and your neighbor to the north with this easy test (no conversion to metric required). Read on to determine where in Canada your personality resides.

film

Reel World

Shootout Shooters—Organizers of the Duke City Shootout Digital Filmmaking Festival, have anounced their 2007 script winners. The winning scripts will be produced and premiered in Albuquerque from July 20-28. The selected filmmakers will be given a cast, high-definition digital camera and lighting equipment, a production crew, post-production facilities, transportation and even a professional mentor - everything they will need to bring their short script to life in just seven days. This year’s winners are: Lisa Marks from Marina del Rey, Calif., for the black comedy “Maconie’s List;” Scott and Paula Merrow from Albuquerque, N. M., for the family film “The Spider Experience;” Dina Chapman from West Hollywood, Calif., for the sci-fi comedy “So Five Minutes Ago;” Jason Kendall from Spring Hill, Fla., for the comedy “Young Gun;” Richard Dargan from Albuquerque, N.M., for the comedy “The Pitch;” and Joachim Jung from Los Angeles, Calif., for the comedy “The Dream Girl.” Best of luck to all this year’s Shootout participants and a special congratulations to our local fimmakers. A full schedule of events for the 2007 Shootout will be available soon. For more information and updates, visit www.dukecityshootout.org.

Transformers

Shut off your brain’s switch and stomp on your adrenaline pedal, we got giant robots!

Most folks (mostly male, mostly in their 30s) will remember the Transformers as a massively popular toy line put out by Hasbro in the ’80s. A hit cartoon series followed, ushering in the Toyetic Era of popular culture, when TV shows and toys (“He-Man and the Masters of the Universe,” “G.I. Joe,” “My Little Pony,” “Smurfs,” “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” “Transformers”) were synonymous with one another. Well, all those toy-collecting kids have grown up now and are demanding nostalgic entertainment in the form of big-budget, live-action movies based on their childhood obsessions. Paramount and DreamWorks Pictures have gratefully acquiesced, at least in the case of Transformers, delivering a $150 million summer tentpole release based on the franchise.

Paprika

Dream noir mystery offers eye-opening anime

A lot of Americans (not all of them, but a lot of them) still have hang-ups about comic books and cartoons. “They’re for kids” is the prevailing argument, and no amount of evidence to the contrary seems to sway them. In other countries, however, graphic novels and animation run the gamut from all-ages to adults-only with little problem.

Oh, Canada!

Remembering “You Can’t Do That on Television”

American television is a dominant force worldwide, sending reruns of “Dallas”, to the far-flung reaches of the globe. But the United States isn’t the only source of entertainment over the airwaves here in North America. We can’t simply forget the televised contributions of our neighbors to the north. Without the CBC, CTV and other Canadian-born corporations of which I have no actual knowledge, the world would never have had access to such classic TV shows as “SCTV” or “Degrassi Junior High” or ... um, “Degrassi: The Next Generation”.

music

Music to Your Ears

Music on the Strip—Further cementing the sacred bond between musicians and strip clubs (as the memoirs of any aging buttrocker with teased hair will attest), you can get live music at the Spearmint Rhino Gentleman's Club (1645 University NE) every week now. The California-based strip club started booking Albuquerque bands back in April of this year, and the music has held up every Monday night since. British punkers The Geezers even popped in for a May 7 show. What the hell?

Say "Ahleuchatistas" Three Times Fast

Half jazz enthusiast, half political activist, all rock 'n' roll

Guitarist Shane Perlowin didn't know when he answered a classified ad in the paper looking for people to make "'out-of-this-world music' ... whatever that meant" that it was the beginnings of a project that would achieve national recognition. "I don't think we really expected it to be as well-received as it was from the start," he says.

Canada Rocks!

Northerly musicians you need to know

I'm going to Canada. When? I don't know, but some day I'll see my favorite band, Our Lady Peace, perform in their hometown of Toronto. In fact, I want to see as many Canadian artists as possible. They just seem so good up there. And they are. A lot of cheesy big-name artists (Céline Dion, Nickelback, Barenaked Ladies) and influential indie acts (Arcade Fire, The New Pornographers, Broken Social Scene) have come from the land of the maple leaf, and there's still more talent to be discovered by us non-Canadian music fans—the problem is finding it.

news

As the River Flows

Traces of radioactivity stemming from LANL have been found in the Rio Grande. Should Albuquerqueans worry?

Radioactive materials anywhere near a water source seems like a bad thing, especially when that source will be coming out of your tap next year. Take the case of the Rio Grande and radioactive materials bleeding into the river from near Los Alamos National Laboratories (LANL). Don’t forget, Albuquerque will be switching from the aquifer to the Rio Grande as its primary source of water [Feature, “Parched?” May 31-June 6, 2007].

Thin Line

iHate Front-Page Advertising—No, I'm not talking about those nasty bars that have been creeping onto the bottom of A1s across the country for years. Someone should give an award to Apple's marketing team. They scored an above-the-fold white-text-on-black ad on the front page of our Albuquerque Journal under the clever headline "iCan't Wait."

The Fight Against Death

Author and nutritional biochemist Stephen Cherniske talks about your health

Like most people, Stephen Cherniske is passionate about aging--or, rather, not aging. He thinks about living a long life, feeling and looking healthy, and doing what it takes to preserve himself for as long as possible. Unlike the rest of us, though, he is neither depressed nor terrified by the pesky hands of time. For 30 years Cherniske has devoted his life to studying the relationship between food, health and aging. What he's found has resulted in a profitable line of supplements and three best-selling books: The Metabolic Plan, Caffeine Blues and The DHEA Breakthrough. The latter is about a hormone made in the adrenal glands--a key component in Cherniske's studies. While not embraced by all in the scientific community (there are no studies on DHEA's long-term effects), Cherniske, who has been supplementing DHEA for 20 years, insists it promotes bodily regeneration and anti-aging. Last week the Alibi spoke over the phone with Cherniske, who will be at UNM's Continuing Education Auditorium this Friday night.

Mmmm, Delicious Tar Sand

Alberta's pockmarked landscape is the next big thing for oil companies worldwide

Canada, ho! Where the health care flows like water and there's oil in the very sand. In honor of the Alibi's Canada issue, we're going to discuss what may be the most important source of fossil fuel for the United States in coming years: Tar sand in Alberta, Canada.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: England—A pub owner in Southampton has found a sneaky political way around England’s new antismoking law. Landlord Bob Beech is hoping to get around the cigarette ban, which went into effect last Sunday, by turning his bar into a foreign embassy. Beech says the Wellington Arms tavern will now be the U.K. base for the tiny, uninhabited island of Redonda—located some 35 miles off the Caribbean nation of Antigua. Earlier last month, Redonda’s official cardinal Edward Elder—a regular at the pub—granted the business consulate status. Redonda’s current ruler is King Robert the Bald, 60, who lives on Antigua. King Robert recently bestowed a knighthood on Beech. As a Redonda embassy, Beech’s pub would be classified as “foreign soil” and would not be subject to British laws. “I have a legal team looking into the legalities at the moment,” Beech told The Sun. “But I am confident.”

art

We're Here to Help!

Friends at SolArts

My personal vision of hell pretty much matches that network sitcom about a bunch of white-bread “friends” living in grotesque intimacy with each other in a nightmarishly sanitized New York. Kobo Abe's vision of eternal damnation shares the title of that horrible show but is starkly different in almost every other respect.

food

It's a Poutine Party!

Gross name, delicious Canadian dish

A high-calorie dish is usually a delicious dish, and this common truth stands the test of taste when in comes to Canada's poutine (pronounced poo-teen). Originating in Quebec during the late ’50s, this combination of french fries, cheese curds (squeaky little nuggets of fresh cheddar cheese) and gravy teems in eating establishments across that great land to our north. The good news is anyone in the U.S. of A. can have poutine, and an instant mouth party, just by combining three ingredients.

Canadian Maple Syrup 101

Pour some sirop d’érable on me

It’s 8 a.m. You’re tired and probably hungover. In front of you is the Mount Everest of pancake stacks. Beyond that is an assortment of maple syrups with labels that say things like "Canada No. 1 Extra Light" or "No. 3 Dark." You nonchalantly butter your flapjacks while eyeing the amber options. What's your next move?

Hot Dawgz!

These veggie hot dogs aren’t for weenies

Tofu Pups suck. Smart Dogs are stupid. With the grill season upon us, those of you suckers for smoke and char are probably wondering to yourself, “How do I make a sweet-ass vegan hot dog?” Glad you asked.

Light and Healthy Mirai Express

The cure for what eels you

A good dish of barbecued eel can fix just about any ailment. But, failing relief, you can always pass the time trying to figure out what it is, exactly, that eel tastes like. I’ve heard people say it tastes like chicken. I’ve even heard it compared to a honey-barbecued riblet.

Alibi V.16 No.26 • June 28-July 4, 2007

Homeless Services Under Pressure To Relocate

Will Albuquerque’s homeless population still have access to necessary resources?

The city's homeless might soon have to thumb a ride to get the help they need. Mayor Martin Chavez and the Albuquerque Planning Department are pushing to relocate many Downtown services to disperse the concentration of homeless out of the Barelas area. In a recent phone interview, the mayor offered the reason why: Putting many homeless services in the same area is “incredibly destructive to neighborhoods," he said. "You can’t get your neighborhood up if someone is urinating or taking drugs in your yard. This gives us an opportunity to rebuild Barelas.”

feature

Festival of Opinion

Speak up! Speak out! Mouth off!

Got something to say? This Saturday, at our first annual Festival of Opinions, the Alibi fights for your right to say your piece. Don't be shy. But do be brief. (Go over the time limit of two minutes per speaker and our Gong Girl, Laura, is gonna kick your ass.) Brassy neo-folksters Selsun Blue will warm things up at noon. One-man loony tunes Daddy Long Loin will cool things down at around 3 p.m. Dynamic crime-fighting duo Fast Heart Mart will show up sometime in the middle to crank out some savvy street tunes. In between musical acts, random speakers along with some specially invited guests will celebrate their right to express themselves as they see fit. Bring props. Bring costumes. Bring puppets. Most of all, bring a smokin'-hot opinion that you're burning to share with the world. It all goes down this Saturday, June 30, from noon to 4 p.m. on the Fourth Street Mall (between Central and Copper). All participants will be entered into a raffle with fabulous prizes. See ya there!

Prized Sources

Exercise your right to free information with these websites, dedicated to supporting freedom of the press.

Live Free or Die

Freedom is just another word for not getting killed, tortured or imprisoned for speaking the truth

This year we decided to celebrate Independence Day by taking a look at some of the past year's biggest threats to the free access of information. Many of these stories are about press freedoms, both here in the United States and around the world. Several are about online freedoms that have recently come under fire. A handful are about the straight-up dictatorial shutting down of access to facts.

music

Music to Your Ears

Romeo Has a Name—At long last, the alibi.com contest to rename three-car garage rockers Romeo Goes to Hell is over. Many, many people chimed in with their two cents (and sometimes drink tickets and bus tokens), but only a handful made it to the final death round. Although no one person technically won, Levi Eleven (you know, frontman of the-band-formerly-known-as-Romeo-Goes-to-Hell and baron von merch of I Heart Machine band merchandise) will generously assemble prize packages for the best suggesters.

Marsupious

Unique local band releases Stonebaby and makes a few friends in the process

A few things run through your mind when you watch Marsupious climb on stage. Namely, why is the drummer building a jungle gym out of his rack mounts? And where's the guitar player?

Freedom Fighters

Load up your iPod with our Frontline Five

In honor of Independence Day, we proudly reflect on the Frontline Five: the top musical acts that have fought for our freedom of speech and expression through music. We also give you their freest of free songs, which we call upon you to download. Wave your rights high!

Vinyl & Verses' Hard-Won Birthday

It's not a fairy tale of success, but it's a success just the same

Four years ago, local hip-hop was hard to find. Clubs wouldn't book it. The few crews that existed hadn't yet coalesced into a sturdy scene. "There was no sign of hip-hop anywhere," says Phillip Torres. He wanted to perform, to see his friends on stage and to get paid.

art

Culture Shock

Stuff Me Full of Art—La Quiche Parisienne Bistro opened about half a year ago at 401 Copper NW, a mere block from Alibi Headquarters. The bakery/restaurant is a huge blessing for Downtown. Great sandwiches, great soups, great pastries. Unfortunately, this means a mere 200 yards separates my desk from a chocolate croissant at any given moment. It's dangerous.

Striptease on the Strip

A Weekend at Las Vegas' Exotic World

It started, auspiciously enough, with pink feathers floating down Fremont Street. The Exotic World Weekend in Las Vegas kicked off (literally) with over 200 exotic dancers performing the world's biggest bump and grind while wearing the world's longest feather boa, a mile-long, shocking pink monstrosity constructed by Ostriches On Line. While the speakers over Fremont blared a selection of classic boom-tsiss-boom-tsiss music, the gals (and a couple of guys) gave convention attendees and curious onlookers a taste of what was to come—three days worth of classic, retro-style Burlesque action.

news

Thin Line

OCD—It is one of the least known of all government agencies. Some say it doesn’t exist at all. It’s the Office of Celebrity Distraction (OCD).

By the Numbers

A new report shows that the status of women falls short

Modern-day America seems to be under the impression that equality, in terms of equal pay and treatment for women and minorities, is a reality. Indeed, our country has had 43 years to get it right, after the passage of the Civil Rights Act. Yet if you’re a woman working in Los Alamos County, you’re likely to be paid 57 cents on the dollar of what the man with a comparable job gets paid in the office next to you. For the whole state, the gap is raised, although far from erased: Women in New Mexico are paid 75 cents on the dollar of what men are paid for comparable jobs—$25,700 a year to $34,200, pegging our state at 24th in the nation for the wage gap. This is all according to a new report by the New Mexico Commission on the Status of Women that looks at women’s equality on a county-by-county basis.

The Big Three

Peter Simonson, executive director of the state's American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) chapter, sits down with the Alibi for our yearly check-up on the three biggest intrusions on New Mexicans' freedoms

Do you see the church-state divide closing in this region?

And Now, Vacation

Word limits seldom allow mention of individuals honored at Council meetings, but let's leave for July's vacation thanking some outstanding Albuquerque residents cited on June 18. Councilor Michael Cadigan, a former Marine, arranged for Marine Sgt. Jeff Hunter to receive his Silver Star at the meeting. The citation mentioned several occasions when Hunter ran through heavy fire to retrieve wounded comrades. Proclamations honored seventh-grader Matthew Evans, who made it into the final round of the Scripps National Spelling Bee competition, and Goldie Ann Steadman, who recently died at the age of 96 after a life filled with community activism. Perennial Council junkies relished the final episode (maybe) of the city's very own "Survivor" drama, starring the Del Rey Mobile Home Park residents. The 50 families remaining of the park's original 270 have fought eviction for more than two years as the property's owner tried to sell it. Now, Stillbrooke Homes and Argus Development are negotiating an arrangement to create a first-class, mixed-use neighborhood on the land that will allow current residents to buy their own lots.

We Stand Condemned

The rights of people in Third World El Salvador should be worth more than the rights of corporations

Ignorance is no excuse. If we choose to remain blind to the injustices carried on by American corporations in the Third World, this does not make us innocent. Our hands are dirty and our failure to recognize that fact doesn’t make the damage we do less serious or our silence less complicit.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: England—British Formula One star Lewis Hamilton crashed his go-kart mere minutes after selling the vehicle on eBay for nearly $84,000. The World Championship leader was selling the miniature racer at auction to raise money for charity. England’s The Sun tabloid reports Hamilton decided to take the McLaren Mercedes kart out for one last spin after selling it for 42,000 pounds ($83,950). Lewis, 22, took a brief 40 mph drive around a custom-built track and ended up crashing. The vehicle’s rear axle was damaged in the wipeout. McLaren will now have to pay to repair the damage before the kart is sent on to its new owner.

film

Reel World

Slammin’ Selections—Warehouse 21’s annual Slam ’n’ Jam is the latest in a long history of W21-sponsored youth video slams. On Friday, June 29, at 7:30 p.m., selected films will be “slammed” in front of a live audience and a panel of judges at The Moon (formerly Club Luna at 519 Cerrillos in Santa Fe). All these short (8 minutes or less) submissions came from local filmmakers between the ages of 12 and 21. The cost is free for teens and $5 for adults. For more details, log on to www.warehouse21.org.

Summertime Cinema

DVDs for a hot day

Astronomically speaking, summer officially begins on June 21 here in North America. Economically speaking, it gets started long before that. Summer movie season, for example, has traditionally kicked off on Memorial Day weekend. The Memorial Day to Labor Day marathon now accounts for 40 percent or more of the movie industry’s annual box office. It’s no wonder movie studios, eager to milk as much cash out of summertime ticketbuyers as possible, have been inching the summer movie season further and further back. This year, the release of Spider-Man 3 on May 4 (three full weekends before Memorial Day) signaled the start of a very long, hot summer.

Ratatouille

It’s a vegetable stew made primarily with eggplant, tomatoes and zucchini--now go see the movie!

Odds are, if and when you go to the theater to see Ratatouille, the new film from Pixar Animation Studios, you’ll first be greeted by a brief sneak preview of the company’s next major feature Wall-E. That film isn’t scheduled to hit theaters until next June. But the roughly 10-second glance you’ll get of this animated fable about a lonely robot has got more charm and endearing appeal than the last six CGI films Hollywood has cranked out. Following that, you’ll get to see one of Pixar’s trademark short films—a hilarious little sci-fi romp titled “Lifted.” That film alone is worth the price you’ll pay for admission. And that’s all before the feature even starts.

Commerical Confusion

You’re selling what now?

With the advent of TiVo and other digital recorders, television networks and advertising agencies have been scrambling to find new ways of assuaging big-budget clients upset over the high-tech practice of “zapping.” Zapping is the process of using your remote control to fast-forward past TV commercials. Back in the day, viewers actually had to get up off the couch and go take a crap to avoid commercials. Now, technology allows us to shrug off Madison Avenue with the push of a button. What a bunch of ungrateful bastards we all are. We sit there, watch a free episode of “Three and a Half Men,” produced graciously for our entertainment by CBS, and don’t have the simple decency to return the favor by ordering a Pizza Hut P’Zone when the network tells us to.

food

Great Scapes

Q: Dear CBA,

Last fall I planted garlic. It’s really taken off this spring, and it’s taller than my bellybutton (I’m 5’9”). Is this normal, or abnormally tall?

Also, I’ve heard you’re supposed to pick off the flowers to make the bulbs bigger. Is this a good idea? When should I do this?

—Garlic Grasshopper

Los Cuates

It's OK to fork around

I've developed a whole new appreciation for our state's superior, scrumptious food after taking some New Mexico newbies into Los Cuates. Seeing our chile-laden regional cuisine through the eyes out-of-towners not only brought back memories of my first honey-drenched sopapilla, but also made me feel like a great sage, dispensing knowledge and wisdom to those not fortunate enough to live here.

A Family Affair

Add some personality to your annual wienie roast

Damn. Just as you start to relax after making it through Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, yet another less-than-meaningful holiday is upon us. The Fourth of July and all its quasi-patriotic entailments are giving you the stink eye. It’s time to scrape last year’s gunk off the grill, knock the dust off the mismatched patio furniture and fill your Frigidaire with cheap beer.

Alibi V.16 No.25 • June 21-27, 2007

On Chesil Beach

Ian McEwan goes short

Not long ago, Ian McEwan was reading to an audience from his new novel On Chesil Beach, a short, finely observed fable about a couple's ill-begotten wedding night on the English coast in 1962. After McEwan finished, a man stood up from the audience to offer his own story.

feature

Sleep!

Look into my eyes

Some people believe our minds live in no one place. While generally associated with the brain, others believe the mind is everywhere in our bodies, an omnipotent storage facility for memories of every place we've ever been, everything we've ever done and the feelings we have about those things, all accessible with the right coaxing. According to this theory, we know things we don't know we know.

Famous Hypnotists

While the realm of hypnosis is vast, wide and malleable, there are a few souls whose legacies have manifested in our collective imaginations. Without their enduring imprints, Western civilization would be void of hypnotizing stereotypes and reputations. Below are some of the modern age's more famous hypnotists.

music

Music to Your Ears

Down the Rabbit Hole (and Other Underground Things that Hip-hop)—Anyone who's gone looking for jackrabbits as a kid will attest: You can't really tell you're in the thick of them until your leg is halfway down a hole. And that's largely what underground hip-hop is like in this town—insular to the point of looking nonexistent to everyone on the outside. Maybe the local hip-hop community is just bad at outreach. Maybe there's an honest-to-god, concerted effort to keep this stuff buried. Whatever it is, finding the good, underground stuff on your own can be downright impossible. But it's getting easier.

The Battles Machine

Veteran musicians shed their egos in the name of math-rocky, prog goodness

Battles' first full-length album, Mirrored, is a good ride. Dozens of tiny moving parts engage as a motor that runs a little too hot but always manages to glide. "It sounds really chaotic and intense," says guitarist, singer and keyboardist Tyondai Braxton. "But really it's way simpler than that."

Devil Riding Shotgun

A knicker-blasting good time

Devil Riding Shotgun is not out to make stoner rock or a specific branch of metal or anything-core. Instead, this three-piece replaces genre with enough stage energy to sustain a set alongside any knob-cranking monorocker in town. "I do like the feeling of standing in front of your amp and having your pants billow from the sound waves," says guitarist Alan Edmonds. "You know something's happening behind you."

“You Never Know Who Might Be Making Noise at the Library”

Rio Rancho library kicks off a music-themed summer reading program for teens

Teenagers like music. Libraries are beginning to catch on to the idea. In fact, more and more bands are jumping on board with the concept and have scheduled tours throughout the United States that specifically focus on playing library shows. Deimosa Webber-Bey, 29, teen librarian of the Rio Rancho Library, has taken the concept even further. “I decided it was more cost effective to just book local bands for events at our library," she says. "It gives teens a chance to eventually become supporters of local bands when they're old enough to go see them at a venue that only allows 21-and-older to attend.”

Flyer on the Wall

This poster came hand-delivered with a sweet little note: "I submit for your approval a poster myself [Heath Dauberman] and Mancle Anderson of The Tattersaints designed for our upcoming show at Burt's Tiki Lounge on Saturday, June 23. We just finished silkscreening it today at Little Kiss Print Studio ... I apologize if it seems illegible but every project is an experiment at this point. I hope you like it OK.” We certainly do! With Strawberry Zots, (The Return of) The Tattersaints and Polaroid Pornography. (LM)

food

St. Bernardus Abt 12

If we were skiing down a black diamond hill in the Alps, and we hit a tree trunk and blacked out unconscious and woke up buried in a snowdrift with no use of our legs and an aneurysm that was slowly filling our skull with blood, it would all be A-OK—if only a St. Bernard rescue dog was standing over us with a barrel of St. Bernardus Abt 12 around his neck, the spigot frothing forth.

Pho Saigon

Get your own bowl

Part of the fun of eating Vietnamese is shrouded in adventure: Chomping on ingredients you can’t find at a burger or pizza shack, like an icy drink made with crushed, exotic fruits or a dish of sweet cakes flavored with tuber pulp. Feeling particularly exploratory, I set my compass toward a fairly new restaurant, Pho Saigon, on East Central. I actually went in for dinner the second day it was open in February, but I didn't know it. I remember thinking the service was flawless and the food well-prepared—not hallmarks of a place that's been in business for 48 hours.

Albuquerque

A forecast of the season’s growers’ markets

Nowadays, food travels in the neighborhood of 1,200 to 1,500 miles to get to your supermarket. Stir in frightening farming methods and rocketing gas prices, and the kiwis in your cart start to look a lot hairier, don't they?

news

Red-Light Camera Updates

Are those yellows too short? Are the license plate shields illegal? Will a class-action suit force the city to refund millions in fines?

Short-lighting

Drivers have said it since they began racking up big bills from the red-light camera program in 2005: "Those yellow lights seem awfully short."

The Busker Bill

Street-performer measure wouldn't address amplified music

"Buskers" is an unusual word in these parts, but it’s cropping up with increasing frequency as a bill makes its way down the pike in the City Council. It means "street performers," and Mayor Martin Chavez was looking to institute a permitting process for them. AJ Carian, deputy director of the city's Cultural Services Department, worked with Councilor Isaac Benton on a measure that would require Albuquerque's street performers to purchase a $7 one-year permit.

Thin Line

“Sopranos” Debate—I'm not here to talk about whether you were satisfied with the ending to the long-running TV series. These days, that subject's reserved for the unending parade of columns and commentaries swarming newspapers and TV stations everywhere.

The Big, Green Terror Genie

Can environmentalists ever recork the bottle?

Chelsea Gerlach liked burning things in defense of Mother Nature. She was part of “The Family,” a cell of The Earth Liberation Front (ELF) responsible for 20 arsons in five states causing more than $40 million in damage.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Romania—An elderly man is racing against the clock to change his name, fearful God won’t recognize him come Judgment Day. Scarlat Lila, 78, from Voloseni was adopted at a young age and now wants his birth name, Scarlat Pascal, restored. “It is well known God calls you by the name you were given when you were born, and when you are baptized, and when I die I will need that name,” Lila said. “At my age, I have not got much time left, so I am hoping they do not take too long.” Despite his insistence, local authorities have stated Mr. Lila needs to present more serious grounds for them to approv e the name change. “He needs to give a normal reason for his request,” City Hall representative Teodor Zaharia said. “Saying that you do not want to have problems once you die is not enough for us to approve this.”

Too Punk to Smoke, Part II

Flow my tears, the ex-smoker said

Well, it looks like it's over for all you smokers. Your days are numbered. You will soon be forced to join me in the hardest and most mind-twisting endeavor of your miserable little lives.

film

Reel World

Music + Movies—Sol Arts is accepting submissions from musicians and bands for a film/music performance concept. Chosen bands will perform live in Sol Arts’ backyard while their film is projected for an assembled “drive-in” audience. Films may be shorts, features or favorite excerpts. You can submit your concept via e-mail to solartabq@gmail.com. Be sure to include the following: name and contact number, information about your music and a description of the film including length. Performances will take place over four nights in July. Deadline for submissions is Friday, June 22.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Surfer rides high in slapstick superhero flick

If you’re going to put the word “fantastic” right there in your title—be it a book, a film, a record or whatever—you should probably produce something fantastic. Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for some serious criticism. Elton John’s “Captain Fantastic and the Dirt Brown Band” album? Hey, fantastic! Fantastic Voyage? It had Raquel Welch in a skintight wet suit, what more can you say? The Fantasticks? It ran for 17,162 performances Off-Broadway—fantastic in anybody’s book.

1408

$1.99 local phone calls? Now that’s scary.

Not a lot of people are familiar with S.B. 619, a bill rushed through the California state legislature in the early ’80s and signed into law by then governor Jerry Brown. The law stated simply that each and every short story or novel penned by Stephen King must be turned into a movie before the author’s death. Hollywood has done its best to abide by this tough law, producing something north of 100 features, short films, miniseries and television shows based on his original material. The problem is that King just keeps writing, making it harder and harder for the movie industry to keep up.

Surf or Die

“John from Cincinnati” on HBO

Have you ever liked something simply because you were so confused by it that you felt like not liking it would expose you as a dumb person? “John from Cincinnati” isn’t quite like that. But it might as well be. I’ve reserved judgment on the new Sunday night HBO drama for at least the first couple episodes, trying to get a handle on it. I’m fairly confident now that I won’t ever get a sold grip on this thing. But I’m thinking I might like it. Even if I’m not quite sure why.

art

The Donkey Show

Barelas galleries point to an interesting future for Albuquerque art

Leave it to the weirdos at Donkey Gallery to create a guerrilla fashion show challenge. Adorned by local designers, sonicly catered by gaunt DJs RAP and emceed to beget happening rather than opening, June 8's "The F Word: Donkey Does Fashion" signified a beckoning achievement in the avoidance of taking things too seriously. It also marked a trinity of swell Barelas gallery events.

One Night Only

Black Market Goods

Josh Jones is sick of hearing people whine about how Albuquerque doesn't have all the creative amenities of bigger cities on either coast. “Look,” he says, “it's not going to happen here if you don't do something about it yourself.”