Though this week of the year—the filling in our Christmas and New Year’s cookie sandwich—is brimming with social engagements, there’s little in the way of public performances. It’s a hard time to be an arts writer, especially when one of the only events happening this week includes said arts writer, a writer who’s terribly uncomfortable with self-promotion (the event rhymes with Schmurch of Schmetoven; that’s all I’ll say).
City Councilors zipped through the city’s Monday, Dec. 21 business, bringing the last meeting of 2009 to a close in less than two hours.
I am amazed that the concept of “cap and trade” as a way to slow global warming has any traction in Congress.
Dateline: Germany—Two Germans ended up in the hospital after a supermarket battle involving cold cuts. The fight took place in the western city of Aachen when a 74-year-old man and a 35-year-old woman tried to take possession of the same shopping cart. As the elderly man wrestled the cart from the hands of his rival, the woman’s 24-year-old brother stepped forward and decked him with a punch. The brother and sister, along with their 53-year-old mother, took their four-wheeled spoils of war into the store. But the defeated pensioner followed them to the deli counter where he snatched up a tube of salami and started clubbing the younger man. Thinking fast, the 24-year-old’s mother grabbed a sharp, 4-pound wedge of Parmesan and used it to fend off the meaty blows of the salami. At some point during the food fight, the 53-year-old woman was knocked over, hitting her head on the deli’s glass countertop. Police eventually arrived to break up the melee. Two of those involved were treated in at a local hospital for minor injuries. According to London’s Daily Telegraph, the trolley was undamaged.
Typing your name into Yahoo or Google or Bing or whatever the kids use to search the InterWebs these days isn’t simply a vainglorious way to waste time at work. It’s also a helpful tool to measure your worth in today’s post-Twitter world. Plus, it’s a good way to keep track of any crazy stalkers who are blogging about you and your sleep habits.
A tiny uproar erupted in web-o-land last week when the dubiously monikered Rock and Roll Hall of Fame named its 2010 inductees: Genesis, The Hollies, Jimmy Cliff, The Stooges and ABBA. Euro-pop act ABBA received an abundance of ire (yet few complained about Genesis, eww), the big gripe being that ABBA, a glam-pop group, got the honor, while glam-rock group KISS failed to be inducted. It was like the ’70s all over again with former teenage boys flying "Disco Sucks" flags all over the Internet.
Here’s an idea for singles: Instead of spending lonely evenings dining on beer and canned tamales, head out to your local high-end grocers for some duck fat, veal broth and San Marzano tomatoes. And while you’re at it, pick up a copy of Judith Jones’ newest cookbook, The Pleasures of Cooking for One, so those ingredients will make sense to you.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): What influences do you really, really need to say goodbye to? The next six months will provide you with ample motivation and opportunity to finally bid those farewells. What long-term cycle really, really needs to be drawn to a close, no more hemming and hawing, all loose ends tied up and all mixed signals clarified? Again, the time between now and the middle of June will bring you the necessary inspiration to make it happen. But it'll take deep thought and sustained work and an expanded sense of humor, so get started soon.