Alibi V.18 No.53 • Dec 31-Jan 6, 2009

The Yes Men Fix the World

Merry pranksters 2.0

Two guys in an undisclosed location create counterfeit websites of real corporations. If this sounds like part of an identity theft scheme, well, it is. But instead of phishing for your personal information, the pranksters, known as The Yes Men, quietly wait until they’re invited to industry conferences and television studios. Once there, The Yes Men steal (or at least borrow) the identities of multinational corporations like Halliburton, Exxon and Dow Chemical.

Ready for the Masquerade?

Local fetish event to take place Jan. 20, 2018

Weekly Alibi Fetish Events is creating a wonderland for your hedonistic delight this January. Our Carnal Carnevale party will be held at a secret location within the Duke City, and we'll all be celebrating behind a mask. Dancing, kinky demonstrations, the finest cocktails, sensual exhibitions and so much more await!

feature

The Odds & Ends Awards

Odds & Ends, the Alibi’s weekly column of strange news from around the world, is among the most popular features of our paper. It gives even our dysfunctional and maladjusted readers a chance to feel holier-than-thou. Sure, you might have gotten hammered last night and drunk-dialed your ex, but at least you didn't try (and fail) to run over your wife with a dumptruck like that idiot in Maine.

film

Reel World

So we bid a fond farewell to 2009, a year of Transformers, Avatar and more 3-D computer-animated cartoons than you could shake a Twizzler at. But what will the futuristic world of 2010 hold, cinema-wise? Let’s gaze into the crystal ball and see which treasures await us at the cineplex in the next 12 months. ... I hope you like remakes and sequels!

Ballers

New Year’s Eve around the dial

Who needs friends when you can get drunk New Year’s Eve with Ryan Seacrest? Or ring in 2010 with Carson Daly? Or watch the ball drop alongside Carmen Electra?

music

The Next Decade of Sound

As the aughts are filed away in the annals of time, we look to the future and consider what’s to come in the next decade. What will it sound like?

I Hear the Sadness Holler

Long before punks turned to Americana, local Hazeldine (née Blister) played the finest y’allternative music on bills with hard rockin’ Burque outfits like Elephant and the Drags. Hazeldine held its own. After an especially hot set you’d feel pleasantly washed-out, as if you’d just seen a raucous punk show.

Flyer on the Wall

While many are doomed to stumble around pouring cheap Champagne all over their lumpy bodies while dodging falling ammunition, you have the opportunity to spend New Year’s Eve with some of the koolest and most artful Albuquerque citizens. The Scrams, A Hawk and a Hacksaw, Raven Chacon, Sorority and DJ Caterwaul perform Thursday, Dec. 31, at Wonderbread (1016 Coal SW). Festivities begin at 9 p.m. (Jessica Cassyle Carr)

Song Roulette

As a graphic artist, animator, toast-lover and member of the Alibi’s art department, Jeff Drew is a man of many hats—metaphorically and literally. When he’s not making art or analyzing the quality of various Downtown sandwiches, he makes jams under the name Caribou Music. He also has an excellent personal playlist series entitled Found Objects. Below is a sample of Drew’s shuffled tunes.

news

Baby Blues

A same-sex couple's quest for a child

Tamara and Joanna thought they'd already be in Albuquerque, fixing up the home they own, nesting with a newborn. Instead, their attempts to have a baby drained away tens of thousands of dollars. "Here we are, $40,000 or so down the line, and nothing to show for it," Tamara says. "That's hard."

Answer Me This

You, too, can be a star. What does Denzel eat when he's in town? Who's out of step with environmental health codes, according to the city? Why are a couple of South Valley kids bummed out?

A Surplus of Bravery in the Capital

Beware the paper patriots. Beware those wearing flag pins on their lapels and calling for war while risking nothing. Their voices are shrill and strident. They drape themselves in the flag, pound the podium and sneer at the cowards in the crowd. But take away the flag, strip them to the flesh, and beneath their creased suits you will find no battle scars, no indication that their mortal form has ever known the hazards of war. Beneath the flag you will find only the jelly flesh of the bean counter, the war profiteer. It is the soft flesh of the grub. Some of these grubs ascend to high levels of government, even that of the presidency.

art

Culture Shock

Though it’s still winter break for some, there are plenty of artists who can’t sit still. ADD? Nah (well, not diagnosed, anyway). Think of it as creative urges that refuse to be contained. Why usher in 2010 in the usual way, nursing an Irish car bomb hangover while watching a Smokey and the Bandit marathon, when you can greet the new year with new art? Lucky for you, this weekend is a perfect time to do just that.

The Ethical Slut

An interview with an alternative lifestyle pioneer

It comes up at parties. It’s frequently referenced in alternative lifestyle 101 classes. It has changed countless lives, saved numerous relationships and ignited new ones. What resource do we speak of? None other than the groundbreaking book The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. Published in 1997, The Ethical Slut gave language to a practice that many people had been participating in, some blindly, for generations—polyamory. The Ethical Slut is a guidebook to what consensual, ethical, non-monogamy can be, and outlines how to do it in a logical, practical way. Needless to say, when the new edition of the book came out this past year many people were ecstatic, but nowhere near as ecstatic as we were when Easton agreed to participate in a virtual interview with the Alibi. She found some time on a trip to Europe to answer a few questions.

food

Ask Ari

Q: In a recent cold snap my garlic and winter squash harvest froze in my unheated garage. It remains frozen. Is this a bad thing? If so, what can I do to salvage/preserve what's left of it?

The Hunting Hangover

What hunting and your appendix have in common

The propensity to hunt is like the appendix—built into every one of us, although unnecessary for modern-day survival. Unlike the appendix, the hunting habit can't be so easily removed. This is a good thing.

Alibi V.18 No.52 • Dec 24-30, 2009

El Pollo Real

Real Colombian cuisine

With a name like El Pollo Real (which astute readers will recognize as meaning The Royal Chicken), you’d expect chicken to reign supreme. Instead, the restaurant is more democracy than monarchy, where chicken—crispy, juicy, falling-off-the-bone tender and full of smoky charbroiled flavor—is represented without dominating the menu.

feature

Psychic Predictions, Past and Future

The Alibi's resident skeptic places a few bets

It’s that time of year again: thick morning frost on the windshield, flickering luminarias along adobe walls and psychic predictions for the upcoming year.

film

Reel World

Typing your name into Yahoo or Google or Bing or whatever the kids use to search the InterWebs these days isn’t simply a vainglorious way to waste time at work. It’s also a helpful tool to measure your worth in today’s post-Twitter world. Plus, it’s a good way to keep track of any crazy stalkers who are blogging about you and your sleep habits.

Sherlock Holmes

Reboot of literary classic plays fast and loose but remains reverent

The cinematic watchword for 2009 was “reboot.” For better or worse, Hollywood has been cautiously rebooting film series for a few years now (James Bond, Batman, The Pink Panther, Halloween). But in 2009, the movie industry started rebooting the hell out of stuff. We got all-new, updated, reimagined versions of Friday the 13th, The Last House on the Left, Sorority Row, Star Trek, Terminator, Land of the Lost, The Taking of Pelham 123, G.I. Joe, Fame, Astro Boy and A Christmas Carol. The latest major character to get a ground-up spit-shine is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's immortal “consulting detective” Sherlock Holmes.

Beats Staring at a Yule Log

Christmas Eve around the dial

The majority of Americans spend Christmas Eve with family—trimming the tree, roasting some large dead bird and hanging the stockings by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon will be there. The rest of us just fritter it away at a dive bar drowning our seasonal depression in cheap whiskey and Hank Williams songs. Either way, nobody’s watching a lot of TV. But if you feel the need to turn to your old friend the Idiot Box this Dec. 24, here’s what you can expect to find.

art

Culture Shock

Though this week of the year—the filling in our Christmas and New Year’s cookie sandwich—is brimming with social engagements, there’s little in the way of public performances. It’s a hard time to be an arts writer, especially when one of the only events happening this week includes said arts writer, a writer who’s terribly uncomfortable with self-promotion (the event rhymes with Schmurch of Schmetoven; that’s all I’ll say).

The Code Talkers

Fire department calls Burque theaters on safety issues

Lt. Skip Navarrette wants citizens to know that the Albuquerque Fire Department’s primary aim is education: the prevention of injury and loss of life through shared information, community awareness, and general understanding of safety rules and regulations. And he embodies this objective. Though his regular workweek spans Monday through Thursday, Navarrette volunteered his Saturday morning in the name of comprehension. But the lesson is neither as catchy, nor as straightforward, as “stop, drop and roll.”

news

Leader of the Pack

A new director helms Albuquerque’s animal shelters

Albuquerque’s new mayor, Richard Berry, walked into his 11th-floor office for the first time on Dec. 1. But that Tuesday wasn’t just Berry’s first day on the job. It was also Day 1 for all of his city appointments, including Barbara Bruin, the head of the city’s two animal shelters.

Council Bite

City Councilors zipped through the city’s Monday, Dec. 21 business, bringing the last meeting of 2009 to a close in less than two hours.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Germany—Two Germans ended up in the hospital after a supermarket battle involving cold cuts. The fight took place in the western city of Aachen when a 74-year-old man and a 35-year-old woman tried to take possession of the same shopping cart. As the elderly man wrestled the cart from the hands of his rival, the woman’s 24-year-old brother stepped forward and decked him with a punch. The brother and sister, along with their 53-year-old mother, took their four-wheeled spoils of war into the store. But the defeated pensioner followed them to the deli counter where he snatched up a tube of salami and started clubbing the younger man. Thinking fast, the 24-year-old’s mother grabbed a sharp, 4-pound wedge of Parmesan and used it to fend off the meaty blows of the salami. At some point during the food fight, the 53-year-old woman was knocked over, hitting her head on the deli’s glass countertop. Police eventually arrived to break up the melee. Two of those involved were treated in at a local hospital for minor injuries. According to London’s Daily Telegraph, the trolley was undamaged.

music

Music to Your Ears

A tiny uproar erupted in web-o-land last week when the dubiously monikered Rock and Roll Hall of Fame named its 2010 inductees: Genesis, The Hollies, Jimmy Cliff, The Stooges and ABBA. Euro-pop act ABBA received an abundance of ire (yet few complained about Genesis, eww), the big gripe being that ABBA, a glam-pop group, got the honor, while glam-rock group KISS failed to be inducted. It was like the ’70s all over again with former teenage boys flying "Disco Sucks" flags all over the Internet.

Blue Bar

Low Spirits haunts the building that once housed Bear Assets

On Friday night the bar was comfortably full, populated by a crowd teeming with baby boomers and twentysomethings alike. Despite the place’s given name, everyone seemed to be feeling festive, there to take in a little local blues, have a drink and maybe a dance.

food

The Pleasures of Cooking for One

Here’s an idea for singles: Instead of spending lonely evenings dining on beer and canned tamales, head out to your local high-end grocers for some duck fat, veal broth and San Marzano tomatoes. And while you’re at it, pick up a copy of Judith Jones’ newest cookbook, The Pleasures of Cooking for One, so those ingredients will make sense to you.

Alibi V.18 No.51 • Dec 17-23, 2009

Reel World

Can you match the celebrity stinker to the celebrity fragrance he or she endorses?

feature

Quizmaster

Knowledge + booze = Geeks Who Drink

In Denver in 2005, geeks John Dicker and Joel Peach began a business based on the pub quiz. Two years later they spread their tentacles of snarky trivia beyond the Centennial State and into Albuquerque. Nowadays the pub quiz called Geeks Who Drink can be found enriching multiple communities of booze-loving eggheads in Colorado, Texas, Virginia, Washington and New Mexico.

Earth Under Uranus

The metaphysical health jumb-ill

Thoughts about a harmonious balance between the body, mind and world—let’s call this health and vitality—extend back to the dawn of history. In many traditions, these views are often refined over centuries of practice and study.

Stringed Instrument Match Up

Perhaps you’ve not heard, but other instruments besides guitars, banjos and mandolins produce sound through the vibration of strings. Below you'll find 12—see if you can match them (by drawing a line), and figure out how to play air zither.

QUIZ: Five Questions on Albuquerque

Special web bonus by Eric The Jewish Viking, Albuquerque Quizmaster

1) As proud citizens of Albuquerque we know that Flying Star was originally Double Rainbow, but do you know what it originally served?

Draw the Weather Around the Steve Stucker

Draw the state of the atmosphere around our favorite Albuquerque weatherman.

The one who draws the most interesting weather gets his or her artwork printed in the paper and a prize. Send entries to: Steve Stucker Challenge, 2118 Central SE, PMB 151, Albuquerque, N.M. 87106-4004

film

Up in the Air

Mature look at the world of corporate downsizing mixes romance, humor and a timely personal touch

When Up in the Air marches confidently into February’s Oscar race (and it will), it will be on the strength of its sharp writing and expertly grounded performances. If Up in the Air succeeds at the box office (and it might), it will be due largely to the film’s timely theme.

Red Cliff

Epic war story is a visual stunner

First: a little background. Romance of the Three Kingdoms is the Chinese national epic, an 800,000-word historical saga that has been well-entrenched in the Asian mindset since its creation in the 14th century. To a literate Chinese person, a section like the Battle of the Red Cliffs is as familiar a cultural touchstone as the Death Star Trench Run would be to us semiliterate Westerners.

Auto Erotica

Love the Beast on SPEED

For me, the SPEED Channel has always been chaff. A specialty station that sits unused somewhere in the middle of my satellite dish menu. I’m not what you’d call a gearhead and was extremely happy the day my paychecks got big enough that I could pay someone else to change the spark plugs in my car. I realize, however, that there are plenty of people for whom motor vehicles are a downright obsession.

food

The Cube

Memphis-style barbecue without borders

Barbecue is supposed to be served on paper plates, washed down with Kool-Aid or Coke, and found in restaurants dingy enough to prove their authenticity yet clean enough that you don’t fear for your health.

Food Quiz

It’s time to stop branding every tortilla-based dish created as “Mexican” and show a little respect. Much of what we’re served in stateside Mexican restaurants would hardly be recognized in Mexico. Foods do cross over international borders and state lines, and truly “authentic” cuisine is difficult to define anymore, but c’mon. There’s no reason to lump together distinct culinary traditions like Mexican, New Mexican, Tex-Mex and Cal-Mex.

news

Heinrich on Health Care

Alibi's nurse columnist quizzes a congressman on reform efforts

Rep. Martin Heinrich’s constituents gathered beneath the outdoor tent, warming up with posole and hot chocolate, while the old guard South Valley residents sat on folding chairs discussing grandbabies and holiday recipes with one another. Saturday, Dec. 12, marked the grand opening of Heinrich's district office in the South Valley, an area in which he saw “great needs” during his campaign, he said in a news release.

Answer Me This

1) Why did Mayor Richard Berry extend the city's red-light camera program for four months?

Quote... Unquote Survives Rambo Chavez

If you’ve flipped by public access channels 26 and 27 lately, that “swoosh” sound you heard in the background was a shoulder-launched rocket propelled grenade going through one window and out another at the Quote... Unquote, Inc. studios on Civic Plaza.

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Russia—A chemistry student in the Ukraine city of Konotop has been killed by what is believed to be exploding chewing gum. Russian news agency Ria Novosti reports that the unnamed 25-year-old was found dead with his jaw blown off after he was working on a computer at his parents’ house. “A loud pop was heard from the student’s room,” a city police chief aide told ukranews.com. “When his relatives entered the room, they saw that the lower part of the young man’s face had been blown off.” Family members say the man had a habit of dipping his chewing gum in citric acid. Ria Novosti reports police found both citric acid packets and “some kind of explosive material” on a table in his parent’s room. The parents believe their son, who was a student at Ukraine’s Kiev Polytechnic Institute, mistakenly mixed up the packets, dipping his gum into the explosive powder.

music

New Honors for Oudist Rahim AlHaj

“It’s true, I’m working my ass off,” says Iraqi oudist Rahim AlHaj, on the phone from his Albuquerque home, “composing music and commissioning music and making the oud recognizable with all these remarkable musicians, plus my practice time, which is six to eight hours a day.”

They Are the Champions

Last week, to coincide with my review of Queen: The Ultimate Illustrated History of the Crown Kings of Rock by Phil Sutcliffe (Voyageur Press, hardcover, $40), I implored readers to compose a riddle about Queen or homosexuality in rock for a chance to win a copy of this fabulous book.

Joshua Breakstone

Singing with six strings

While Joshua Breakstone has been a guitarist since his early teens, cutting his teeth on Jimi Hendrix and Frank Zappa, his most profound influences have come from players of other instruments. The fluid lines of his improvisations have often been compared to those of a trumpeter or saxophonist, and when he cites Lee Morgan, Clifford Brown and Charlie Parker among his prime influences, the comparison comes into focus.

Put Me on an Island

Fast Heart Mart’s New Zealand rockumentary premieres

"We like reaching everybody—we like reaching people who don't necessarily expect it. At nightclubs and whatnot people are expecting a band and they either care or they don't care—they're just there to drink. But when you're out in the street, life is really going on around you," says Roblyn Crawford.

Flyer on the Wall

Drop into Black Market Goods Art Gallery (112 Morningside NE) on Saturday, Dec. 19, for the release of Holiday Sail’s debut album Amalgamation. Making up the bill is an array, or amalgamation, if you will, of talented acts including locals Ya Ya Boom, Animals In The Dark, Bat Wings for Lab Rats, Zoltan Orkestar and, of course, Holiday Sail. San Francisco’s Leopold and His Fiction also plays. The all-ages show begins at 7 p.m. and costs $3. Cute little teddy bears beware. (Jessica Cassyle Carr)

art

Culture Shock

When I was invited to read at the Church of Beethoven as the featured poet back in October, I was sadly unable to meet the series' founder, Felix Wurman. First diagnosed with bladder cancer in November 2008, he had major surgery this past spring and experienced a brief reprieve. The cancer returned, however, spreading now to the bone. By the fall, he had gone to North Carolina to be near his sister and receive treatment there. At the Sunday performance I was so privileged to be a part of, there was still talk of Wurman's return. However, this is no longer the case. Wurman’s cancer has proven resistent to treatment.

Match the Famous Artists to Their Beliefs

Happy Hanukkah, everyone! I mean: Merry Christmas! Joyous Kwanzaa. Happy Islamic New Year. Blessed Solstice. Super Pancha Ganapati, all. Join us in celebrating the range of winter holidays with our Match the Famous Artists to Their Beliefs quiz. Reductionist? Maybe. Neat fun? You bet!

In Search of Anonymous

An art sleuth follows the trail of a legendary local artist

It all begins on a Sunday morning in October. My fiancé Alex and I arrive at the Albuquerque Museum of Art and History, pass through the double doors of the lobby gallery and enter the world of Albuquerque Now. As we would at any exhibition—but particularly since this marks our first real introduction to local visual arts, having just moved to New Mexico in July—we move slowly. We spend 20 to 25 minutes with the first six works, marveling at the intricacies of Catalina Delgado Trunk’s cut paper “Cyclical Time” and trying to identify the myriad found objects in Cynthia Cook’s “This Mortal Coil.”