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news

The Daily Word in eyeball licking, Police Oversight Commission resignations and Captain Underpants

The Daily Word

It's Wednesday April 16

and three of Albuquerque's six member Police Oversight Commission have resigned, saying that they have no real power to do their jobs, that the City Attorney's Office has undermined them at every turn, and that the Commission is a 'mockery' in terms of oversight,

cleanup crews are moving toward the contaminated section of WIPP, very, very slowly,

and Governor Susana Martinez is being compared to Sarah Palin and eyed for a presidential run.

Meanwhile, a ferry boat sank off the cost of South Korea, possibly killing hundreds,

children are struggling to understand the unfathomable mystery of the Sony Walkman,

parents are complaining to libraries about the use of words like "pee-pee" and "Dr. Diaper" in the Captain Underpants book series,

and a man was arrested after licking a cop's eyeball outside of a bar called "Pisser's Palace."

Have a great day!

Personals

"I Saw You" on the Central Ave. Median

Who saw? Who was seen? Was it you?

“Charity creates a multitude of sins.” –Oscar Wilde | Reply or see more “I Saw You” ads at alibi.com/personals.

I was behind you in the checkout at Smiths on 4th on 4/14, 6pm

I was behind you in the checkout lane at Smith's on 4th Street. You looked up as I began to put my groceries onto the belt, you stopped for a minute, we looked at one another and smiled. Our eyes met several more times. I wished that you would talk to me. You finished checking out. When I came out of the store I saw you again putting your groceries into your white truck. We smiled again. I put my groceries into my silver Honda. We met at the basket return. I wished you had asked for my number.

MY BAD: I'LL BE MORE ATTENTIVE NEXT TIME

YES, It is MY BAD in that the fender of my classic Nash Metropolitan grazed you, however so slightly, while YOU appeared out of nowhere from the median of Central Avenue, sporting a cardboard placard emblazoned with "NO MORE EATING OF GUINEA PIGS BY SOUTH AMERICANS." Not hip to the current causes of rectifying injustices, and stalled at the next red light, I offered you a donation of five bucks toward your endeavors. YOU graciously declined the offer and said, "Shove it up your ass, dickweed.”

Very Sweet

You work at the Coop here on campus. You used to have longer hair than you do now (which btw works either way). Usually when I see you, I get super nervous. I wish I knew what to say. I don't think I'd ever have a chance but I'd just like to let you know, you are very handsome and seeing you when I do, is very nice.

Sincerely,

Not a creeper.

"Your Smell Made Me Well"

Whenever I see you, my mind flashes on a flood of memories: Mooshie saying I'd make a great Daddy; the sweetness of your mouth after our marathon kissing sessions; the silky-softness of your skin; waking to your golden hair in the morning sun; the oniony scent of your underarms; the slightly musky scent from under your perfect breasts; the yeasty scent from between your alabaster thighs; the hammy scent from between your marvelous buttocks. Without you I survive, I don't live. Come back.

Press Release

Statement From the Department of Justice Condemning Threats of Violence Against Police Officers

ALBUQUERQUE – Last week the Department of Justice announced findings that the Albuquerque Police Department has systemic failures that have led to a pattern or practice of unconstitutional use of force, including deadly force. Although these problems are serious and run deep, we have the commitment of the City to work together to bring about meaningful reform within the Albuquerque Police Department.

We have learned that fliers advocating violence against police officers are being disseminated in Albuquerque. The Justice Department condemns threats of violence against police officers, and encourages all sectors of the community to participate in the critical dialogue that will bring about the reform that will promote constitutional policing and will rebuild the community’s trust in its Police Department. The path to reform is through dialogue among the City, the Police and the many communities that make up Albuquerque, and the negotiation and implementation of a court-enforceable agreement.

Individuals who wish to have input into developing the reforms or who have information relevant to the Justice Department’s investigation into the use of force by the Albuquerque Police Department are encouraged to contact us by email at community.albuquerque@usdoj.gov or by calling our toll free number, (855) 544-5134, which is available for both English and Spanish speakers.

news

The Daily Word in Google drones, banning cars from the Santa Fe plaza and rumours of an AC/DC breakup have snowballed

The Daily Word

Albuquerque police and family members are looking for this mentally disabled kid who ran away from school on April 9th. He was last seen (by this writer) in the 4th and Central area yesterday evening.

Tuesday April 15th 2014: your taxes are due.

There was blood on the moon last night.

Google bought a drone company in Moriarty, New Mexico.

The mayor of Santa Fe wants to make the plaza pedestrian-only.

Pollution in China is affecting the weather.

Things are heating up in Ukraine.

Pulitzers were announced.

Dr. Kevorkian painted a lot of surreal and creepy pictures.

There is a smoke ring halo over England.

Munich has "official nudist zones".

It was a long way to the top in this dog eat dog world, but it now looks like the end of the highway for AC/DC.

news

The Daily Word in Russian jets, dead babies and the blood moon

The Daily Word

Introducing the marijuana vending machine.

A Russian jet buzzed a US Warship in the Black Sea, threateningly.

Don’t miss tonight’s “blood moon” lunar eclipse.

Utah authorities found seven dead babies in a woman’s home.

“Seaweed.” Finally we can talk to dolphins.

Graphene will change our lives.

There’s a pyramid in North Dakota.

An abused Albuquerque toddler is hospitalized.

Ho Ho’s had a sewage problem, but they’re open again now.

Happy birthday, Rod Steiger.

Flash Non-Fiction

August Goes Shopping

Compfight cc via Daniel Oines

I did not want to drive to Ghetto Smith’s. Sometimes that place is okay, but there is always the chance I will run into someone I know. Without a clean scramble suit to put on for show, that thought made me itchy all over.

Walmart is closer, at the end of a street that's mostly houses—except for the intersection, where there was a wreck. A broken telephone pole was left behind afterward; two weeks later, it's still there. One time I saw a dead dog on the median nearby, but it was gone after a few minutes.

It's still a veritable oasis where I live. One of the houses has a grip of datura plants coming up in their compost pile. There is still some grass here and there, but mostly folks let the lawns wither. For ground cover there is a lot of London rocket weed this time of year, if you don’t like lava rocks.

Most afternoons and evenings, seven out of 10 houses depicted in this narrative setting are playing the teevee. Even over in my two-person people’s republic, things won’t go dark until the yearly beisbol ritual is completed in October.

I still could not find anything decent to soak up today, tube-wise. I needed a package of black, plastic garbage bags to keep up my end of the social contract. I made a deal with my personal gasoline-powered shuttlecraft and roared off toward the blue behemoth. The Radiohead EP my wife left in the player began where it left off. Something, something about white teeth.

I rolled into the parking lot just as Thom Yorke started going on about selling your suit and tie. I’ll be damned about the next part, but some lanky dude the size of Texas came bolting out of the store at the same time; it was a close one. He gave me a stare, and his blue eyes were practically throbbing out of orbit as he bounded over the hood.

The guy kept running and running. I parked the car. Inside were seedless watermelons, loaves of angel food cake and enough toilet paper to save an army. Plus the garbage bags were on sale. On the way back, I turned the volume down to practically nothing at all. I listened to the engine and scoured the road for signs of home.

Music

Rooster Roundabout: This week’s music highlights

I got a lot of homework to do listening-wise. Like listening to The Men's latest LP Tomorrow's Hits, which has already been out for a few weeks? Months? See … I've lost track of time; total nightmare. But back to the topic at hand: 'Member I posted The Men's track “Different Days” a while back in anticipation for the record? I liked it so much that I thought I'd go ahead and share their recent video of said track with y'all. You can watch it below. Cheers!

Play Youtube Video
The Men - “Different Days”

Kim Deal's latest 7-inch hit the online markets on April 1, and there's a review by yours truly in the current edition of the Alibi. But Deal recently did an interview with Stereogum about the 7-inch releases (which, if you haven't heard them, are fantastic), working on new material with the Last Splash lineup of The Breeders after their extensive 20 year anniversary tour and much more. Why would you want to read this interview, you might ask. Because it's Kim fucking Deal. And she's always hilarious, humble and just plain cool in her interviews … and well, in life, I guess.

Is there some kind of rule that says you're supposed to change band names every few years? If that's the case, then Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and Cedric Bixler-Zavala are right on time with their new band Antemasque. First there was At The Drive-In, then there was The Mars Volta, and now we have Antemasque. And judging from the two in-studio videos the band has already put out (as well as debut single “4AM”), it sounds like this could be something good. Head over to Consequence of Sound to read more about the project and the studio vids, and listen to their new track below. Oh and Flea (from Red Hot Chili Peppers) is also in the band.

Play Youtube Video
Antemasque - “4AM”

Not only is “Shameless” one of the most daring shows on television, it's one of the most compelling. Though it's based off a British television series of the same name, the American version is way better (in my honest opinion). Watching the lives of the Gallaghers unfold as alcoholic family patriarch Frank hustles, does drugs and pretty much becomes the most awful human being imaginable is a roller coaster ride in and of itself. Now the music of the show (which stars William H. Macy and Emmy Rossum) is finally getting the soundtrack treatment … after only four seasons. You can read more about the indie-centric soundtrack at Billboard.

I mentioned some time back that Brody Dalle (formerly of The Distillers and Spinnerette) was coming out with a solo album (Diploid Love, out April 29). Now Ms. Dalle has graced listeners with another snippet from that forthcoming record. The track (“Blood In Gutters”) has somewhat of a grunge feel, already making me like it more than her first solo track (“Meet the Foetus/Oh the Joy”). Here's hoping the rest of the album has this same sinister intensity. You can hear the track below.

Play Youtube Video
Brody Dalle - “Blood In Gutters”

Not sure if I mentioned this before … but oh well … Bikini Kill have been broken up for what? 17 years? But the band is preparing to come out with some unreleased material in the form of their Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah reissue. And they've posted an unreleased tune from the release (out next week). The track is called “Girl Soldier.” So listen over at Soundcloud, and feast on some Riot Grrrl goodness.

Don't you just love when musicians up and surprise you with new music? Former Burqueño Willis Earl Beal recently released a surprise album online a few months ago, and to top it off, he's just released another surprise album, titled Curious Cool. Don't know where the songs came from (probably just demos he cut during his downtime), but when there's new material, you don't question it. You listen. So have at it.

Talk about jumping the gun … 'member how last week I wrote about the mid-'90s lineup of Hole reuniting. Well, apparently the band wasn't too happy with Love making those comments. So in a new interview with The Telegraph, Courtney states “It’s very frail, nothing might happen, and now the band are all flipping out with me.” Looks like we'll just have to wait and see.

Most of America knows The Roots as Jimmy Fallon's house band on “The Tonight Show.” But these guys have been making hip-hop tunes since the '80s. And now they're gearing up to release a new record, titled ...And Then You Shoot Your Cousin. In anticipation for the album (out May 13), the group has graced us with a song from the forthcoming release. You can hear “When the People Cheer” below.

I always like pop songs that have some sense of theater to them. You know … those bombastic, dramatic ones. That's probably why I like Lykke Li's “No Rest For the Wicked” so much. I posted the track a week or two ago, but now LL has come out with a video for the track. The ditty comes off her upcoming record I Never Learn, which hits the music-sphere on May 6. You can watch the video below.

Lykke Li - “No Rest For the Wicked”

More Videos

awwwww

Pan Handlers

Library services expand into cake-pan lending

I choo-choo-choose cake.
I choo-choo-choose cake.
Imagine the following scenario: You need a cake shaped like Elmo or Hello Kitty in less time than it takes to whisk an egg white. Do you repair to the nearest store and separate from your well-earned cash for a cake pan you will probably never use again?

Not anymore! If you live in Albuquerque or Bernalillo County, you can now check out a cake pan from the library.

“We knew that other libraries were doing this,” says Linda Morgan Davis, Assistant Director, Collections and Community. “Libraries are looking at new types of services [that will allow them] to be part of the community and help their communities to grow and prosper.”

Luke, I am your cake.
Luke, I am your cake.
So say goodbye to the character pans you’d buy for a birthday and then allow to “sit dormant in the kitchen cabinet.” Choose from about 30 shapes—from a guitar to a soccer ball to Ultimate Spider-Man—and check out a pan for up to three weeks at a time. Just be prepared to pay a fine of $2 if the cake pan is returned dirty.

What is it about cake pans that conjure up saintly visions of the stereotypical 1950s mother, her flour-dusted apron and a giant mixing bowl filled with the four basic elements—flour, sugar, butter and eggs? “Baking trends come and go, but cakes are timeless,” opines the blurb for Martha Stewart’s Cakes, one of five cake-oriented cookbooks featured on the library’s website.

These cookbooks are also available as ebooks, which allows you to keep an ingredient list handy when you're out shopping. Also be aware that you can download magazines (including many on cooking) for free. With the Zinio program, you can select from 85 titles, and once you download them, they’re yours. (It sure beats having piles of periodicals at home.)

If you’d like to donate your own cake pans to the library, make sure that they are Wilton brand character pans, metal (not silicone), in excellent condition and accompanied by a paper insert that shows decorating suggestions.

Lastly, whether your cake looks like a Christmas tree, a choo-choo train, a butterfly or any other whimsical shape, feel free to send a picture of your sweet, frosted masterpiece to library@cabq.gov and they’ll post it on Facebook.

news

The Daily Word in God's credit, reactions to DOJ report and the Pope's apology

The Daily Word

Authorities are trying to determine a cause for the explosive bus crash in Northern California that left 10 people dead and many others injured.

Stephen Colbert is going to be the new host of the “Late Show” after David Letterman announced his retirement. See what other talk show hosts had to say about it.

The Pope made a public plea for forgiveness for the “evil” some priests have committed with sexual child abuse, “a scandal that has haunted [the church] for more than two decades.”

Three educators wrote a piece on why they reject the notion of standardized tests.

Here's KRQE's breakdown of the 46-page DOJ report concerning APD violence.

Renetta and Stephen Torres, whose son was killed by APD, react to the DOJ report.

The City has paid $23 million to for wrongful death and excessive force lawsuits since 2010. And that's not including the pending cases.

The DOJ report on APD in 29 quotes.

God vs. Equifax

Alibi Picks

Go Dream Car Dreams

I never expected to fall in love with a car, but I did after I moved to New Mexico for grad school. Buying into several grad school clichés, I bought a weathered silver Saab. That car became, as cars often do, the symbol of all things dear to me at the time—new adventures, open roads, life revisions. Multiply my experience exponentially and you arrive at events like the 2014 New Mexico International Auto Show. With more than 300 plug-in vehicles, full-size trucks and high-end sports cars, the show is billed as an automotive paradise.

Show goers can ogle luxury models, peek at vehicles not yet in dealerships and check out new technology like massive multimedia screens and inflatable seat belts. Get some hands-on experience with test drives for everyone, including children, who have their own Kids Autobahn. It’s a perfect place to do some reconnaissance if you’re in the market for a new vehicle. Even if you’re not, you can go and indulge in some unrestrained car passion.

Maybe that's exactly the point—a show like this is the stuff of dreams. Auto Show hours are 12pm to 10pm today, 10am to 10pm tomorrow, and 10am to 6pm Sunday, April 13, at the Albuquerque Convention Center (401 Second Street NW). Admission is $10 for adults, $5 for seniors (62 and older), military with any DOD ID and for children ages 6-12. Children five and younger are admitted free. Sunday is Family Day, and children 12 and younger will be admitted free when accompanied by a paying adult. Albuquerque Convention Center • Fri Apr 11 • Noon-10pm • $5-$10, FREE for children under 5 • ALL-AGES! • View on Alibi calendar

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    Old Man Markley
    Old Man Markley4.29.2014