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Bigfoot Has a Driver’s License?

The headline on this one is way more interesting than the actual story. When I saw the e-mail “Bigfoot Provides ‘Wish Kid’ Ride to School This Thursday,” I freaked. I mean, if I was some Make A Wish kid, I’d totally ask for Bigfoot to show up at my house and give me a ride to school. What does he drive anyway? I’m thinking a pimped-out El Camino.

Unfortunately, the story’s not about the cryptozoological entity alternately known as Sasquatch and the Skunk Ape. It’s, in fact, about the monster truck called Bigfoot. Cool, sure, but not as cool as a 7-foot-tall hairy dude. Anyway, the Monster Truck Winter Nationals are coming to Santa Ana Star Center this Friday and Saturday, March 26 and 27. With the help of the Make A Wish Foundation, 5-year-old Rio Rancho monster truck fanatic Garrett Burnett will be getting a ride to school on Thursday morning in the Bigfoot Bad Boy truck. Burnett goes to La Esquilita Pre-School in Bernalillo, and he’s probably gonna blow some tiny little minds pulling up in that thing. (Not as many as he would have with an honest-to-god Sasquatch as his chauffeur, but I’m just grousing to grouse at this point.) In conclusion: Bigfoot rules.

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Cryptid Alert: Bigfoot Researcher Autumn Williams Gives Up Bigfoot Research

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Autumn Williams has had it. She’s done researching the yeti, and explains why here for ten minutes, then continues explaining why for another two videos on her Oregon Bigfoot Blog. I, for one, am deeply saddened that she won’t be howling and banging logs in the woods anymore. Here she is in happier times discussing the yeti, and here she is playing her favorite song. And here’s a different girl performing a song about the Georgia Bigfoot Hoax. And here is the band Sasquatch.

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Cryptid Alert: Child Befriends Juvenile Yeti

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A boy befriended a young bigfoot, but when area loggers threatened its life the boy had to frighten it away by throwing pinecones and yelling, “I hate you!” Watch the video for supporting evidence and judge for yourself.

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Cryptid Alert: Bigfoot Uses ESP to Enter Dreams and Mines Gold for UFO Aliens

Yeti fans, this one’s got it all. Yetis dressed as Native Americans entering your dreams. Numerous accounts of yetis communicating with humans telepathically. Astral flight, UFOs and a yeti sighting near Gallup, NM.

I believe that yetis have the power to alter our memories. At one point humans knew about the yeti, but as the yetis’ psychic powers grew, they forced us to forget them… just as they usually make us forget that we’ve seen them today. Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. I don’t have any proof of this, but I get very strong impressions. I believe the yetis are planting these thoughts in my mind.

This wonderful yeti image comes from Jesse Ross.

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Bigfoot Interesting. People Talking About Bigfoot Boring.

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And here’s the proof. Pretty boring, huh?

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News

The Daily Word 09.02.09: Mutants, drugs in the water, earthquakes, death beam, bigfoot discovery center

All humans are mutants.

Caffeine found in the Rio Grande, now the water utility is trying to keep other drugs out of the river.

Pfizer is paying $2.3 to settle its illegal drug promotion case.

State Fair does a series on films, new and old, made in New Mexico.

Socorro is experiencing a scourge of earthshakes.

A much more serious quake shakes Java.

Read about the new death beam, tested at White Sands Missile Range.

World in upheaval over Google’s 100 minutes of Gmail nothingness yesterday.

Job loss didn’t really slow down in August.

Underwear sales may determine economic health.

The late DJ AM appears to have been taking painkillers and smoking crack.

Good news “Mad Men” fans, there will be another season.

Niche museums: Read about Velveteria, the Museum of Velvet Paintings in Portland, and The Bigfoot Discovery Museum in California.

Album of the day: Viva Hate by Morrissey.

Weather: Clear today, rain predicted for the rest of the week.

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    WAXAHATCHEE4.21.2014