V.23 No.14 | 4/3/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #341: I Meet the Farmer’s Daughters
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Apr 1 2014 1:43 PM ]
Song: "All my life, all your life, yer numb, yer numb, yer dumb, and then you die…"
In a field near the top of my childhood street I search for a place to build a fort for my nephews. I examine a shady, overgrown area behind some rusty corrugated siding. An old farmer appears. He is friendly and leads me into a huge house he is remodeling. I see his wife down a long hallway with a plywood floor. In the living room, I meet his three daughters. The farmer resumes painting above the mantle. The middle daughter tells a story about my old friend S. I ask about S’ sister. I ask if S is married.
"No, but close to it—with (girl's name)!"
"That's even better!" I say.
V.23 No.12 | 3/20/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #340: I Had an Experience on a Truck
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Mar 25 2014 1:38 PM ]
I am riding in a flatbed truck with some farm workers. I spot some tornadoes on the horizon. We arrive at "Washer Heaven." A Great Dane tries to climb over the rail into the truck. I pat his paw. "Good Dog", I say and try to push him off.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #339: Martha Stewart Turns Into Someone Else
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Wed Mar 19 2014 11:39 AM ]
I briefly meet Martha Stewart face-to-face at a party where others wearing novel jewelry are dancing. She transforms into someone else I know.
V.23 No.11 | 3/13/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #338: Old Colonel, New Game
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Mar 11 2014 1:15 PM ]
The old colonel has invented a new game whereby one takes hold of some loops in the ears of a small wooden elephant and gives chase by flying in a sine wave, rising and falling, rising and falling…
V.23 No.10 | 3/6/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #337: Hooked by a Fisherman
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Mar 4 2014 11:50 AM ]
I am sitting on a rocky cliff in a canyon between two streets with my boss, C, and some other guys. C wants to hike in the bigger mountains. As we leave, my other boss, E, tells me about the blood in his stool. I beg him to try psyllium.
On our way, we stop in a split-level Walgreens so I can show my friend, R, the protein powder. She tries a sample spoonful of cream-of-wheat from a green desert dish.
We then proceed east on a path up a hill near my childhood home. Two guys are practicing fly fishing in their yard. I am hooked in the back of my black fleece jacket.
"Give me back my fishing arm!" the guy says. I unhook. Now they both have their hooks in C.
"Are you going to club him too?" I ask.
V.23 No.9 | 2/27/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #336: The Walking Stick Turns Into a Naked Lady
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Feb 25 2014 2:05 PM ]
G has placed a large walking-stick bug in our terrarium with a juniper branch—something it can't eat. I wake from a nap to find that the bug has transformed into a tiny, blonde naked woman drowning in the water dish, which has been filled to the brim.
V.23 No.8 | 2/20/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #335: Photographing an Eagle with a Camera Made of Cheese
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Feb 18 2014 2:16 PM ]
I am on the back porch of my childhood home. A large Mexican gray eagle lands on my shoulder and then jumps to the ground. I coax him back up and tell G to go get my camera. She returns but can't seem to work it. I take it from her angrily. It has become camera parts imbedded in yellow cheese. I try anyway to hold it at arm's length and get a shot.
V.23 No.7 | 2/13/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #334: An Automotive Obstacle Course
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Feb 11 2014 1:37 PM ]
I am trying to leave town in my truck. People have placed two garbage cans as obstacles in the road and have dug a series of holes as part of a contest. I swerve and spin to avoid them but finally must come to a stop. It is impossible to get out of town. Everyone has gone mad, making their own barrier contests.
V.23 No.6 | 2/6/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #333: Trouble at the Museum
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Feb 4 2014 3:23 PM ]
I arrive at a museum. G and my family go in ahead of me. I decide to buy the $10 ticket instead of the $15 one. I ask my sister if she's seen G. She tells me instead about some great surprise our mother has found. I walk down a hallway on the third level. I grab hold of a portal pillar made of mud and stone and peer down into the courtyard below. Under wooden vegas covered with vines I see some sheep grazing. The partition I'm holding crumbles and falls. I close my eyes and wait for the crash but hear only silence. I stroll away nonchalantly.
V.23 No.5 | 1/30/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #332: Dirt for Sale
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Jan 28 2014 1:16 PM ]
G has ordered some dirt. She is not home. A couple arrives in a white station wagon. They park in our garage. The guy has dirt piled on a blue blanket in the back seat and some more on top of the sun visors. They want $25. He pulls the dirt blanket out onto our front lawn. I write him a check made out to 'Country-Tried', and worry that G will say we got screwed.
V.23 No.4 | 1/23/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #331: Must See TV
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Wed Jan 22 2014 1:24 PM ]
A new reality show has a man, woman and child, naked with soap, pretending to shower without water.
V.23 No.3 | 1/16/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #330: A Senseless Execution
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Jan 14 2014 3:54 PM ]
M faces her senseless execution stoically. I am forced to participate. Infuriated, I punch the fat, shamed executioner in the belly. My arm recoils like a spring.
V.23 No.2 | 1/9/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #329: Canyon of the Rag Man
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Wed Jan 8 2014 2:06 PM ]
I climb through narrow sandstone notch canyons and out into a steeply sloping, red-dirt valley that was formed by a peasant revolt ages ago. I help a crazy rag-man to find the terminus for a bundle of blue, cat-5 cables. It turns out to be a cash register operated by John Travolta, who is dressed in wizard garb.
V.23 No.1 | 1/2/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #328: A Weird Meditation Building
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Dec 31 2013 12:56 PM ]
G's meditation building: A free-standing, round stucco building in the backyard garden of our new home. A Japanese-style wooden beam arch frames the entryway. Two glowing globe lamps slide across top of the arch on a rope pulley: If these have been separated then someone is inside meditating. Inside, the floor plan is divided into concentric circles. There are four outer meditation rooms, one for each compass direction. An enormous skylight illuminates the open, vaulted ceiling. A circular hallway separates the main center room, which is a large, black-tiled pool, from the meditation rooms. The hallway is lined, floor to ceiling, with walnut bookshelves filled with books and pictures of yogis and saints. A boom box plays ethereal music.
V.22 No.52 | 12/26/2013
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #327: Abducted by Moonies
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Dec 24 2013 12:05 PM ]
G and I follow a group of female, Asian, Moonie-type cult people to their trailer parked in the high school parking lot. I run ahead and try to speak to the leader. Meanwhile G is taken inside the trailer. I return and follow them in. For such a small trailer, it is deceptively large inside. Everyone has now disappeared. I search through many empty rooms. Finally, out a window I see that G has been drugged and is being driven away on a yellow fork lift. She shakes limply on the tines. I call to her and yell that I love her. She looks at me, frightened and pleading, and then is gone. Outside the window I can see they have begun to set off fireworks.
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