V.21 No.9 | 3/1/2012
Bear With Me
Facebook Never Got Me Laid
By John Bear
People use Facebook as a substitute for human-on-human contact. It's not. You don't communicate on Facebook. You “interface.” It's an ersatz relationship.
V.21 No.7 | 2/16/2012
The Daily Word in Russians need more sex, gonorrhea needs a cure and every tyrant needs a lover
By Adam Fox [ Tue Feb 14 2012 10:25 AM ]
Russian Prime Minister Valdimir Putin encourages his people to start having more sex to help a shrinking population.
A football coach resigns after accidentally posting a naked picture on Facebook.
The Center for Disease Control issues a warning that gonorrhea may soon become incurable.
A TSA agent gets creepy with a female passenger and makes her walk through a naked body scanner three times.
Love letters from some of history’s most notorious tyrants. Who knew Josef “I’m as lonely as a horned owl” Stalin could be such a softie?
New Mexico braces with all their might for the fire and brimstone unholiness that is gay marriage attemps on Valentine’s Day!
A father plays a pornographic film instead of The Smurfs at his child’s birthday party. Easy mistake.
Studies show a homeowner does better in the dating department than a renter.
In Santa Fe, the Senate approves a proposal to impose restrictions on undocumented immigrants getting driver’s licenses.
Again? Two Columbine High School students are injured in a campus hammer attack.
President Obama erases $226 million from the Mars exploration program and my dreams of martian discovery in one fell swoop.
Happy Valentine’s Day, from André 3000 and OutKast.
V.21 No.5 |
The Daily Word in Walmart shooting, Zuckerberg, Komen apology
By Sam Adams [ Fri Feb 3 2012 9:14 AM ]
Go ahead and blame it on the liberal media to say it, but it appears that people are getting more jobs.
Watch your whip if you go to school in Las Cruces.
Speculations on a potential war between Iran and the U.S.
Drug smuggling into N.M., via airplane.
Komen Foundation restores Planned Parenthood funding.
Despite a common perception of assholishness, Mark Zuckerberg is still the boss.
For those who refer to cops as "pigs."
Possible (dead) chupacabra sighting in San Diego.
Not that anyone's talking about it, but the Superbowl is only two days away ...
"Breaking Bad," shitty 90s video game style.
V.20 No.52 |
The Daily Word in a close caucus, quasicrystals and zombie bees
By TOM NAYDER [ Wed Jan 4 2012 9:33 AM ]
Close one in Iowa last night.
Is it now OK for presidential candidates to cry?
New interchange design for I-25/US 550 unveiled.
Teen run over in Rio Rancho Hastings parking lot.
How much money does Sesame Street make?
Bandai Entertainment, one of the major companies involved in bringing anime to America is closing its doors.
Hybrid sharks found off the coast of Australia.
Facebook hands out White Hat debit cards to friendly hackers.
Should smokers who roll their own have to pay the full cigarette tax?
The only known naturally occurring quasicrystal is actually part of a meteorite.
Top 10 worst women of 2011.
Yeti crab is one of the new creatures discovered near Antarctic hot springs.
George Leutz's third attempt at a Q*Bert world record fails.
Dennis Rodman is starting a topless basketball team.
Hey, what's under that woman's dress?
Snoop stops smoking long enough to help a lady win a car on The Price Is Right.
Trailer for Steven Van Zandt's new Netflix-exclusive series Lilyhammer.
The 11 best comics of 2011 were …
What's worse than bees? How about zombie bees!
These Christian kids just fixed your favorite song.
Welcome to The Obliteration Room.
Year-long exposure of the Toronto skyline is pretty sweet.
R.I.P. British cartoonist Ronald Searle.
The Daily Word in Albuquerque had a really crappy weekend, celeb divorce, bird flu may be back
By E.J. Maliskas [ Mon Jan 2 2012 10:05 AM ]
APD investigates dead body found in the middle of I-25.
One man shot and another stabbed in downtown Albuquerque New Year's Eve brawl.
Albuquerque police officer strikes and kills a pedestrian early on New Year's Day.
APD finds bloody scene at a Central bus stop but no victim.
Bad news for bronies.
Are American agents responsible for giving Hugo Chavez cancer?
Katy Perry and Russell Brand are splitsville.
Bird flu death reported in China.
Vintage poster outlines 23 ways to avoid marrying a girl.
First of NASA's twin GRAIL probes enters moon's orbit.
Police say a man in North Carolina tried to pay for his transaction at Wal Mart with a $1 million bill.
Man calls 911 after being hit by a grocery cart.
Thanks Carl, Constance and Tom for the help!
The Daily Word in what happened in 2011, what's coming in 2012, a divorce over something that happened in the 1940's
By E.J. Maliskas [ Fri Dec 30 2011 9:19 AM ]
Beloved elderly man dies in the cold on his porch in La Mesilla, NM.
New state laws for 2012 bring about happy hour bans, fire-breathing regulations and more.
Canadian drug found successful in treating ovarian cancer.
99-year-old Italian man divorcing his wife of 77 years over her 1940's affair.
Amazon, Facebook and Google consider a coordinated anti-SOPA blackout.
Target becomes target (hehe) for large public gathering of breast-feeding moms.
Too bad Christmas is over: I would have wanted a Batman iPod dock with built in taser.
Let's make some New Year's Eve resolutions.
Fox apologizes to Jews for Facebook poll on Jesus' death.
Words of comfort: Russia test fires long-range missile with new warhead.
V.20 No.49 |
The Daily Word in a name change for Al Qaeda, government shutdown and no more bookstores
By Tom Nayder [ Wed Dec 14 2011 9:50 AM ]
Another government shutdown is looming. (How many times have I written that headline this year?)
Al Qaeda needs a better PR firm.
Ex-Richardson officials appear before grand jury.
Time's person of the year is … sigh.
Government to stop minting $1 coins.
The fifty funniest tweets of 2011.
"If you could rape someone, who would it be?" Asking for a friend.
Listen to Terry Gross make Louis CK cry.
Women should excel from the bedroom to the boardroom, right?
Lady Gaga posed nude for Tony Bennett.
Birthers fly message about Obama's birth certificate over closed dome of football stadium.
Robert Downey Jr. acting venn diagram.
The trailer for Sahsa Baron Cohen's new movie The Dictator is here.
Don't forget the world is supposed to end next month.
Wonder Woman gives herself a breast exam.
John Updike's boyhood home is for sale.
Facebook launches a suicide prevention tool this week.
Longest article I've ever read about pubic hair.
V.20 No.47 | 11/24/2011
The Daily Word in groping ghosts, decapitated piglets, 102,000 cupcakes
By Adam Fox [ Tue Nov 22 2011 10:26 AM ]
Watch 50 people simultaneously rob a 7-Eleven in Silver Spring, Maryland.
Facebook claims that there are now only 4.74 degrees of separation. Or Kevin Bacon.
Future horror movie material? A German gynecologist is found with 35,000 pictures of his patients.
Future horror movie material? Newt Gingrich surges to the top spot in the latest GOP poll.
Groupon gone wrong; a London baker is forced to make 102,000 cupcakes.
Walking through doorways is found to cause memory lapses and forgetfulness, new studies find.
A Virginia woman could be imprisoned for up to 50 years after decapitating her boyfriend’s piglet.
Former Denver Broncos QB Jake Plummer lashes out against Tim Tebow for his constant declarations of faith.
The Bernalillo High School principal pulls a questionable cartoon from the school newspaper.
A fake doctor put cement and sealant used to fix flat tires in a woman’s behind because she wanted it bigger.
Don’t you hate it when you’re trying to sleep and a ghost is inappropriately groping you?
“I Have a Draem,” and nine other hilarious typos.
Thanks to Emily Anderson for some of today’s links.
V.20 No.46 |
The Daily Word in football, ScarJo and the Vatican
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu Nov 17 2011 9:01 AM ]
UNM hires ex-Notre Dame coach Bob Davie to be Lobo football's new boss.
APD fires belly-bumping officers who kicked a suspect in the head on video.
The toast sandwich is two pieces of bread around a slice of toast. It's the 150-year-old brainchild of Victorian food writer Mrs. Beeton.
Art? Or stalking 14-year-old girls?
Avoid penile cancer by abstaining from bestiality.
Sexuality as a force for good.
Mom of Sandusky's adopted son has concerns.
Clothing company folds under Vatican pressure and removes an ad showing the pope kissing an imam.
Google's getting into the music store biz. But there's no Prince. And no Zeppelin.
Katy Perry's Milli Vanilli flute fail.
Norwegians raise a viking ship using viking tools.
Is ScarJo a beard?
Some places in the world remain untouched by Facebook.
V.20 No.44 |
The Daily Word in election results, in-flight porn and waking up gay
By Tom Nayder [ Wed Nov 9 2011 10:11 AM ]
Letter circulating around Socorro promises mass casualties on Friday.
Herman Cain affiliated PAC calls one of his accusers an ugly bitch.
Animal abuse caught on tape at Tingley Beach.
Occupy Denver finally has a leader.
Under pressure, Facebook removes rape-joke pages.
Does job retraining actually work?
Rugby player has a stroke, wakes up gay.
It's the 40th anniversary of Led Zeppelin IV.
Local historian in the Russian city of Nizhny Novgorod fills his house with mummified female corpses.
Irish airline Ryanair to add in-flight porn for passengers.
The eight cheapest houses in America.
Live 1989 Nirvana set unearthed.
Brett Ratner resigns as Academy Awards producer after interview on Howard Stern.
The Fresh Prince pranks a Christian talk show.
I wish space junk, was as sexy as it sounds.
Mars rover Opportunity discovers a discovers the Holy Grail of its mission.
YES! Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris join the cast of The Expendables 2.
Thanks for the links E!
V.20 No.39 |
The Daily Word in election results, rain and scoopable chicken
By Tom Nayder [ Wed Oct 5 2011 9:51 AM ]
Yesterday's election results here.
Assassination plot #587 against Afghan President Hamid Karzai foiled.
Some good news for Democrats.
Can having incompetent lawyers invalidate your death-penalty sentence? I'm asking for a friend.
House Republicans triple the budget to defend the Defense of Marriage Act.
Anonymous may or may not attack the New York Stock Exchange.
Andrew Breibart tries to link President Obama to the New Black Panther Party.
Nazis are being hunted again in Germany.
Astronomers use science the test the legend of Frankenstein's birth.
Israeli scientists win the chemistry Nobel prize for the discovery of quasicrystals.
Meet Sesame Street's new food insecure muppet.
Disney will be releasing more animated classics as 3D re-releases.
NBA preseason is cancelled as labor talks put the rest of the regular season is in jeopardy.
I thought this was a crazy fever-dream, but Popeye's is introducing scoop-shaped chicken nuggets.
Ten classic books that were originally rejected by publishers.
It turns out buying groceries at a drug store is a bad deal.
This year's 20 best microphotos.
Are your Facebook statuses interesting?
WIll this current season be the last for The Simpsons?
Two restaurants frequented by my creepy uncle are locked in a legal battle.
Hey Emily, did you see the Coen brothers are making a TV show?
V.20 No.38 |
The Daily Word in faster than light particles, home invasions and spontaneous human combustion
By Tom Nayder [ Fri Sep 23 2011 10:25 AM ]
President Obama is rewriting No Child Left Behind.
Texas ends the ritual of a special last meal for death row inmates.
Scientists may have discovered faster than light particles.
Glowing kitty may further aid in AIDS research.
Early morning home invasion on the West Side.
The House passes a temporary spending bill, avoiding a government shutdown, for now.
The FBI is investigating mysterious "Arabic" graffiti on the underside of Southwest Airlines airplanes.
Is it worth it to pick your own apples?
A suspected member of LulzSec was arrested in Phoenix.
Scientists use science to explain near-death experiences!
Probably not a good idea to post your murder plans on Facebook.
Who doesn't love animated GIFs?
50 signs the world is coming to an end.
Spontaneous human combustion listed as cause of death of a 76-year-old man.
Chicken snack menus are the next front in the fast food wars.
Was Archduke Ferdinand's fate sealed because of cheese sandwich?
Someone is making a TV show based on musical chairs?
James Spader joined the cast of The Office.
V.20 No.37 | 9/15/2011
The Daily Word in penis-infiltrating eels, Listeria outbreaks, and Amelia Earhart’s goggles
By Adam Fox [ Tue Sep 13 2011 10:48 AM ]
A U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan is under attack.
A man sneaks a stun gun past security during the Dallas Cowboys and New York Jets football game.
A man inadvertently makes a bomb threat on a train after having a Final Destination-style dream.
An eel is removed from a man’s bladder. This was after it entered through the penis. Cringe.
An obese man sues White Castle because he can’t fit into the seats.
Check out the ultra-Orthodox Jewish version of Facebook, FaceGlat.
A Listeria outbreak that claimed three lives in New Mexico may be coming from cantaloupe.
Horses wearing the numbers 9, 1, and 1 win the first three races at Belmont on 9/11.
Amelia Earhart’s iconic goggles are sold for more than $17,000 at an auction.
The top 10 best video game cheat codes are a blast from the glorious past.
Reasons why you shouldn’t be friends with your mother on Facebook.
Happy 15th Anniversary, Tupac!
V.20 No.31 |
The Daily Word with an upcoming Anonymous attack, Ted Bundy's blood and a Chinese landlord scorpion attack
By Tom Nayder [ Wed Aug 10 2011 10:33 AM ]
Anonymous is gearing up to attack Facebook this November.
The Congressional Supercommittee has been chosen.
North and South Korea exchange fire.
President Obama can't catch a break.
FBI agent discusses the West Mesa buried bodies case.
Missouri high school bans Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-5.
America is not ready for President Rick Perry.
Recently discovered vial of Ted Bundy's blood may help uncover more murders.
The Onion is starting a paywall.
Probably not a good idea to heckle Aziz Ansari.
Chinese landlord releases thousands of scorpions to chase away his tenants.
Thomas the Imperialist Tank Engine.
Tim Heidicker (of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!) saw a UFO.
Six things that were probably built by aliens.
The Daily Word: 8.5.11
Facebook, assaulting Philly buses, kidnapping babies, and weasels planning for the future
By Summer Olsson [ Fri Aug 5 2011 11:44 AM ]
Rio Rancho bank robber still on the loose.
Gunmen shoot up Phillu bus.
Mark Zuckerberg's sister leaves Facebook.
Officials kidnap babies in China.
Head of India's Congress Party had surgery in the United States.
Juno to Jupiter!
Perhaps Obama didn't lose to GOP.
A seven-year-old kid's prehistoric blog.
South American weasel-like animals plan for the future.
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