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V.22 No.22 | 5/30/2013

Idiot Box

America Love Family

“Arrested Development” on Netflix

Netflix gives viewers all the Bluth they can handle with 15 new episodes of “Arrested Development.”
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T.V.

Bluth Family Reunion

Do you love hot ham water and cornballs? If so, then you know Netflix finally lets loose the new season of “Arrested Developmet” today. To celebrate this momentous occasion, Albuquerque’s Tannex (1417 Fourth Street SW) will host the “100% Good Time Family Viewing Solution or Family Love Michael” event. Wear your cuttoffs, feast on frozen bananas and watch as much “Arrested Development” as organizers can cram into a single night. The festivities start at 7 p.m. But no touching!

V.22 No.21 | 5/23/2013
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Film & TV

Arrested Development Running Jokes Supercut

The Bluths just can’t let things go

As many of you might know, the very-long-awaited 4th installment of Arrested Development is set to release via Netflix this Sunday, May 26. As a latecomer to this cult classic (I’m just finishing season 3), I’ll admit a great deal of excitement at having 13 new episodes with which to stuff my Buster-loving brain.

In honor of this glorious event, and to whet your appetite for everyone’s favorite dysfunctional family, I present to you 8 solid minutes of recurring in-jokes, catch phrases and chicken dances.

Do enjoy.

V.22 No.19 | 5/9/2013
Hemlock Grove

Idiot Box

Monster Mash

“Hemlock Grove” on Netflix

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V.21 No.28 |

news

The Daily Word in dead turtles and a missing Congressman

The Daily Word

Former FBI Director Louis Freeh releases his report on the investigation into the coverup at Penn State.

House Republicans vote for the 30th time to repeal the Affordable Health Care Act.

The Las Cruces doctor who wrote more prescriptions than the entire UNM medical school has had his license suspended.

The Bosque will reopen on Friday.

Workers in Trinadad are totally sorry about crushing thousands of endangered leatherback turtle eggs.

Mississippians will still be able to get abortions, for now.

Pantone chart of all human skin colors.

Scientists finally discover a new moon orbiting Pluto.

Netflix is your new babysitter.

Who drinks the most soda? USA! USA! USA!

Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr has been missing since June.

Five classic movies you'll never get to see because they were never made.

If you want to eat french fries at Olympic Park in London head to McDonald's.

Happy Birthday Curly Joe DeRita!!!

V.21 No.10 | 3/8/2012

Idiot Box

Møb Rüle

“Lilyhammer” on Netflix

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V.21 No.4 |

news

The Daily Word in Mitt wins Florida, Colbert raises more than Palin and New Mexico's newest gang

The Daily Word

Mitt Romney won Florida's Republican primary last night. Newt Gingrich isn't giving up (yet).

Chicago's draconian eavesdropping law poses problems for protestors and journalists at the upcoming G-8 summit.

Traffic crackdown in Rio Rancho.

New Mexico has a new prison gang with a lame name.

In response to an invasive abortion law, a Virginia state senator proposed an amendment requiring men seeking erectile dysfunction drugs to receive a rectal exam and stress tests.

Meet the monkey refugees of Louisiana.

Louis CK sold a sitcom to CBS.

Netflix won't be renting games after all.

DC Comics unveils its long-rumored line of Watchmen prequel comics. I wonder what Watchman co-creator Alan Moore thinks about it? "As far as I know … there weren't that many prequels or sequels to Moby Dick."

What does an artist with Alzheimer's paint?

Stephen Colbert's fake Super PAC raised more money than Sarah Palin's Super PAC.

Everything is cool guys, that red river in Texas was just polluted with pig blood.

SHEEP CYCLONE!!!!

Where did the Frito pie really come from?

Every overhead hand shot from Wes Anderson films.

Check out this recently discovered test footage from a proposed 1936 John Carter of Mars animated movie.

When I'm President this fake Breaking Bad RPG will be real.

Of these three trailers for returning HBO shows, I am excited about them in this order: Game of Thrones, Eastbound And Down and True Blood.

Completely mesmerized by this video.

Happy Birthday Garrett Morris!!!

V.21 No.1 |

NEWS

The Daily Word in Tebow and his Broncos, flea market busts, faulty bungee cords.

The Daily Word

Tebow leads Broncos to a 29-23 win over the Steelers in the shortest OT in NFL history.

UK Netflix launch may trigger TV bidding war.

More snow.

Texas drought may wipe out the world's last remaining whooping crane population.

2012's Republican humor.

The United States of Scary Things.

Albuquerque police and federal agents bust vendors at weekend flea market.

UK police identify remains found in Queen Elizabeth II's front yard.

Painful truths about your iPhone.

Man found dead outside of Graham Central Station.

Bungee cord snaps and sends girl plummeting into crocodile-infested waters.

Denis Hoth Hof is opening up a sci-fi themed whorehouse north of Las Vegas to be called Alien Cathouse.

Horse abandoned at Amish-area Walmart up for adoption.

One reason not to lose weight in 2012.

Marlborobot.

New study suggests that dogs can read our facial expressions.

Tourists in Pisa, Italy think they're super original.

Thanks to Uncles Carl and Tom for sending me amusing content!

V.20 No.52 |

news

The Daily Word in a close caucus, quasicrystals and zombie bees

The Daily Word

Close one in Iowa last night.

Bachmann is out, Perry is reassessing.

Is it now OK for presidential candidates to cry?

New interchange design for I-25/US 550 unveiled.

Teen run over in Rio Rancho Hastings parking lot.

How much money does Sesame Street make?

Bandai Entertainment, one of the major companies involved in bringing anime to America is closing its doors.

Hybrid sharks found off the coast of Australia.

Facebook hands out White Hat debit cards to friendly hackers.

Should smokers who roll their own have to pay the full cigarette tax?

The only known naturally occurring quasicrystal is actually part of a meteorite.

Top 10 worst women of 2011.

Yeti crab is one of the new creatures discovered near Antarctic hot springs.

George Leutz's third attempt at a Q*Bert world record fails.

Dennis Rodman is starting a topless basketball team.

Hey, what's under that woman's dress?

Snoop stops smoking long enough to help a lady win a car on The Price Is Right.

Happy New Year 2012!

Trailer for Steven Van Zandt's new Netflix-exclusive series Lilyhammer.

The 11 best comics of 2011 were …

What's worse than bees? How about zombie bees!

These Christian kids just fixed your favorite song.

Welcome to The Obliteration Room.

Year-long exposure of the Toronto skyline is pretty sweet.

R.I.P. British cartoonist Ronald Searle.

Happy Birthday Yoshimoto Nara!!!

Thanks Constance!

V.20 No.44 | 11/3/2011
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Couch Potato

I Like to Watch (Instantly): Circus of Horrors

Halloween Countdown Edition

Circus of Horrors (1960)

Directed by Sidney Hayers

Cast: Anton Diffring, Erika Remberg, Yvonne Monlaur, Donald Pleasence, Jane Hylton, Kenneth Griffith, Conrad Phillips, Jack Gwillim, Vanda Hudson, Colette Wilde, William Mervyn

Spoiler alert!
Spoiler alert!
Are you an insane plastic surgeon on the run for pursuing your unethical experiments? Have you directed your own facial reconstructive surgery in a mirror using only a local anesthesic? Do you enjoy dallying with the lovely ladies whose deformed features your skill has made whole again? Are you willing to cut down anyone in your path who dares defy your iron will? Well, have you ever considered running a circus?

Hawk-faced Anton Diffring (Fahrenheit 451, The Blue Max) excels as the cruel, oddly sympathetic and totally bonkers Dr. Schüler (or is it Rossiter?), mad doctor turned circus master, in this outrageous, non-supernatural, vibrantly technicolor horror film (from the producers of Michael Powell’s notorious Peeping Tom). The ridiculousness of the scenario (Schüler collects scarred criminals—mostly women—heals them and binds them to perpetual service in his circus) is made compelling by its twisted character studies, particularly the doctor’s toady-like accomplices (Kenneth Griffith and Jane Hylton) who seethe with mixed worship and revulsion for their master. Hurried exposition (especially at the beginning) and laughable animal costumery detract only slightly from psychodrama, blood and intrigue. Great actual circus performances and a genuine pop hit (“Look for a Star”) round out the lurid entertainment.

V.20 No.43 | 10/27/2011
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Couch Potato

I Like to Watch (Instantly): The Legend of Hell House

Halloween Countdown Edition

The Legend of Hell House (1973)

Directed by John Hough

Cast: Clive Revill, Gayle Hunnicutt, Peter Bowles, Roddy McDowall, Roland Culver, Pamela Franklin

Some of that nice composition I was talking about.
Some of that nice composition I was talking about.
For this ludicrous-yet-effective haunted house film, Richard Matheson adapted his own down-and-dirty novel for the screen, somehow managing to create a reasonable PG version from the NC-17 source material. The scenario is very deliberately a sexed-up ’70s remix of Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House (not Hell House, got it?), itself filmed quite effectively in 1961 as The Haunting.

Ditto.
Ditto.
The setup is archetypal. Four quirky characters investigate a haunted house: The physicist and his wife (Clive Revill and Gayle Hunnicutt), the touchy-feely medium (Pamela Franklin, formerly haunted as a child actress in The Innocents) and the sole survivor of a previous expedition (Roddy McDowall). The cast is great and utters potentially clunky lines about “ectoplasm” and “multiple hauntings” with so much in-character authority that they totally work.

My previous VHS viewing of this film did not include the pleasure of beholding the awesome wide-angle, widescreen frame composition employed throughout (and especially during the opening sequences). Creepy exterior shots of the fogbound house with datestamps presage each supernatural incident, creating both quickie verisimilitude and a rhythm of suspense. The general aura of competency and class—plus Delia Derbyshire/Brian Hodgson’s extra-delicious electronic score—makes Hell House an excellent Halloween A/V treat. (Well, aside from the overwrought ending.) I watched it twice.

V.20 No.42 | 10/20/2011
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Couch Potato

I Like to Watch (Instantly): Deathdream, a.k.a. Dead of Night

Halloween Countdown Edition

Deathdream (1974)

Directed by Bob Clark

Cast: John Marley, Lynn Carlin, Richard Backus, Henderson Forsythe

“Everything's fine, Bob.”
“Everything's fine, Bob.”
This low-budget riff on the W.W. Jacobs short story “The Monkey’s Paw” begins where the original ends: Instead of wishing the undead son away, his family invites him in. Sure, he seems a little weird, preferring to sit silently in his room all day and waiting for dark before he emerges with mod sunglasses and white turtleneck to prey upon the living. But that’s how it is when you’ve been dragged back from the grave by a mother’s love.

Director Bob Clark (himself now one of the undead) made a handful of notable indie horror films in the ’70s (not to mention an all-star Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper flick) before hitting box office paydirt with Porky’s and A Christmas Story. Much of the credit for Deathdream’s effectiveness must go to screenwriter (and monster-makeup artist) Alan Ormsby for creating a queasy sense of doom, Richard Backus who rocks it as the deadpan, unwillingly-revived son, as well as actors John Marley and Lynn Carlin for convincingly transplanting their troubled-married-couple routine from John Cassavetes’ 1968 film Faces into this weird little horror movie. How long can a family stay together under these conditions? Answer: not long. The downer ending manages to be both sad and horrifying, the lesson of the Monkey’s Paw learned the hard way.

V.20 No.41 | 10/13/2011
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Couch Potato

I Like to Watch (Instantly): Daughters of Darkness

Halloween Countdown Edition

Daughters of Darkness (1971)

Directed by Harry Kümel

Cast: Delphine Seyrig, Andrea Rau, Danielle Ouimet, John Karlen, Fons Rademakers

The Countess approaches.
The Countess approaches.
This truly strange Belgian vampire film (original title Les Lèvres Rouges or The Red Lips) oozes style, dread and languid sensuality, not to mention an unhinged sense of humor. The dreamlike scenario: Newlywed innocents—or maybe not-so-innocents—Stefan (John Karlen, from TV’s then-smash-hit “Dark Shadows”) and Valerie (Danielle Ouimet) decide to linger in an opulent beachside hotel when their train is delayed. Too bad it’s the middle of winter and the only other guests are the glamorous Countess Bathory (Delphine Seyrig, The Day of the Jackal, Last Year at Marienbad) and her sultry personal assistant Ilona. Before you can say “Carmilla” the oh-so-charming Countess infiltrates herself into the lovers’ troubled honeymoon and encourages the emergence of Stefan’s barely-suppressed dark side. (Just what is he hiding about his mother, anyhow?) You know what happens next.

The glorious, desolate backdrop of an off-season resort is almost a character in itself, swallowing up the machinations and psychodramas of the tiny cast of good-looking vampires and victims. Extra points also awarded for smashing ’70s fashions, slick editing, inspired location shooting (done entirely after dark or at dusk), letting the foreign actors dub their own lines, and a sinister-yet-groovy score from French soundtrack composer François de Roubaix. Unlike other lesbian vampire films from the same time period (cough Jess Franco cough), Daughters of Darkness is an intelligent, warped pleasure, equal parts art and exploitation film. The HD version on Netflix is terrific, the very definition of eye candy.

news

The Daily Word in Weezer death, horse tails and decapitation.

The Daily Word

Beware the deadly three-ton satellite telescope falling to earth.

Beware the deadly horse tail thieves.

This 100-year-old bacteria probably won't kill us all.

Netflix cancels plans for Qwikster.

Look mom, no head!

Former Miss Iceland was tipster in Whitney Bolger fugitive case.

New Chinese opera about the 1911 revolution must not use the word revolution.

Paul McCartney still has enough money to get married.

RIP Weezer bassist Miley Welsh.

Send this to your dirtbag friends.

Beware the deadly hot dog thrower.

I wish I had an alligator bike.

How does Japanese art of the 1700s stack up against Europe’s?

What shall I read next?

Mathematicians reveal the newest imaginary number.

The boss tried to call.

I-25 was shut down for a jumper.

A toddler was shot in the head with a pellet gun.

Beware the mailbox bomber.

Happy birthday, David Lee Roth.

Thanks to Nayder and Moss for the link assists.

V.20 No.38 |

NEWS

The Daily Word in Locksley boot, affirmative action brownies, and Amazon's latest technology.

Brought to you by the artist formerly known as the US Space Program.

The Daily Word

Mike Locksley gets canned after loss to Sam Houston State.

Albuquerque teen gets arrested for burping in class.

Casino shooting leaves Hells Angels leader dead and two others injured.

City acquires some more balloon landin' land.

NASA's dead satellite takes its fall.

Earth-shattering news about Catwoman's mask.

Controversy erupts over affirmative action bake sale at Berkley.

Doesn't this guy know you aren't supposed to try to reenact movie premises that involve having to cut off your own limbs?

Neil Armstrong labels the US Space Program as "embarrassing".

So what did we get from the US Space Program?

Amazon gets ready to release new tablet, Apple is actually a bit worried.

Bathroom graffiti responses.

The Oatmeal on the Netflix changes.

Man calls police during a 30-mile chase Thursday to tell them that deputies "needed to leave him alone."

Princess Bride Monopoly Board!

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