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Evangelism is mainstream now?

Billy Graham's children

We're a happy family
We're a happy family

This evening while simultaneously preparing the bbq and a marinade for what turned out to be an out-of-this-world piece of flap meat beef steak, I happened to hear an interview on NPR with Billy Graham's daughter. Hearing Anne Graham Lotz speak nearly cost me my temporary crown. The interviewer's tone almost convinced me that this kind of privileged evangelical self-righteousness was indeed something I should consider mainstream. I summoned my daughter and gave her the pellet gun. We looked about for a one eyed one horned flying purple people eater. Soon we agreed that mistaking the one eyed one horned flying purple people eater for any other kind of phantasm that Anne Graham Lotz was conjuring up could lead to an unfortunate accident betraying our own true millenarian beliefs. We put the pellet gun away, but could not put aside this question: is this woman, her family and their beliefs mainstream in any way?

news

The Daily Word: Japan, Politics, Politics, Politics, Hitler, Politics, Boob Jobs, Politics

Bill O'Reilly says the media is hyping the the nuclear situation in Japan, meanwhile Japanese workers evacuate the troubled nuclear plant. In an unrelated matter, it's being reported that radioactive snow is falling in Japan.

Not a single Republican on the House Energy committee will admit that climate change is real.

N.M. House rejects the Senate's immigrant license bill.

New census data shows Rio Rancho and Los Lunas are New Mexico's fastest growing cities.

Democrats are trying to force Republicans who oppose Obama's health care overhual to publicly declare whether they accept taxpayer-subsidized health care from the Federal Employee Health Benefit Program.

Missouri lawmakers are repealing voter-approved anti-puppy-mill lows.

House committee has nothing better to do than vote to defund NPR and PBS.

Is this what conservatives really want? Georgia governor raises taxes on Girl Scout Cookies, and cuts taxes on multinational corporations. While Michigan's governor cuts corporate tax rate by 86% and raises taxes for the working poor.

A terrible mother filed a lawsuit against her daughter's preschool for inadequately preparing the 4-year-old to pursue an Ivy League education.

Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez is urging his citizens to say no to boob jobs.

Chicago bookstore forced to cancel mafia book signing after threats.

Some of the best walk off moments from 60 Minutes.

Life publishes some never-before seen photos of Hitler.

A tour of the worlds greatest holes.

The Wire's Snoop arrested, charged with conspiracy to sell heroin.

TV's Buffy The Vampire Slayer premiered 14 years ago this week.

Lean Cuisine meals are being recalled.

Were you a Hee Haw fan or did your parents prefer Soul Train? You can only choose one!

Hey nerds! Read Stan Lee's deposition on the creation of the Marvel universe. Seriously, it's good.

The Gap want's you to haggle for your next pair of pants.

Nickelodeon is bringing back some it's big hits from the 90s. Come on Pete & Pete!

Charlie Sheen's porn star loser girlfriend tweets her suicide attempt.

R.I.P. Nate Dogg.

Stephen King is writing another Dark Tower book.

Happy birthday Jerry Lewis!

News

The Daily Word: NPR CEO Resigns, Ron Bell DWI Conviction, California Fish Kill

It's Ash Wednesday, sinners!

Gov. Pat Quinn is set to sign legislation to abolish death penalty in Illinois.

Fire destroys 13 homes in Silver City.

Gang rape of 11-year-old girl in Texas leads to the arrest of 18 men and teenagers.

Pennsylvania farmhouse fire kills seven children.

Ron Bell found guilty on DWI charges.

NPR President and CEO Vivian Schiller resigned following James O'Keefe's latest prank.

Drivers illegally detained for using large bills on toll roads.

Utah lawmakers passed a bill forcing public school teachers to teach that the United States is a republic, not a democracy, because "Democracy" sort of has the word "Democrat" in it.

Victim's father vows to murder child killer if he gets out of prison.

Top ten things Newt Gingrich doesn't want you to know about Newt Gingrich.

Millions of dead anchovies clog shoreline in Redondo Beach.

Is food poisoning a crime?

Mexican police chief seeks US asylum.

A history of our attempts at communication with aliens.

Teacher quits after students discover her porny past.

Leave it to monkeys to invent a new fishing technique.

"This is the most illegal thing I've seen in the history of wrestling!"

Al Jazeera announces plans to launch English language children's channel that you will never get to watch because your cable company won't carry it.

Michael Chabon is creating a show for HBO about magicians who fight Nazis!

Check out McDonald's fancy new M Selections menu.

Because sometimes an ear of corn is not an ear of corn, or how to interpret your food dreams.

Angry Burger King customer climbs lumbers over counter to attack employees.

Have you tried Sonic's new hot dogs?

Watch every Power Ranger ever battle at the same time!

I wish there was something nerdier I could read to my kids instead of Goodnight Moon.

Here's a nice gallery of 1970s Japanese sci-fi art.

RIP Mike Starr, original bassist for Alice In Chains.

Watch the pilot to the Clarissa Explains It All sequel that never made it to air.

Happy birthday Brian Bosworth!

politics

Public broadcasting is on the chopping block

Republicans in Congress have moved six bills that would ax all money for public media, including NPR, PBS and others. Conservatives have argued that those news outlets lean toward the left.

A letter to the editor from Polly Anderson, general manager of KNME, says the station has been valuable resource for 52 years and that it reaches 650,000 households. “Public Television is the largest provider of preschool education in New Mexico,” she wrote. (Dude. Sesame Street.)

An online campaign, 170millionamericans.org was launched to highlight the importance of public media. Americans each pay about $1.35 per year for public media, according to the site. And every month, 170 million make use of public television stations and radio stations. The site includes suggestions for how you can help. Fill out a message that can be sent to your congresspeople, or call Congress at (202) 224-3121.

blog

The Kids Are F*@#ed

The brain power of these teens is approximately that of one-and-a-half Canadian adults.
The brain power of these teens is approximately that of one-and-a-half Canadian adults.

Ah, NPR. There’s nothing like the power of radio to lift your spirits and bum you the hell out. Weirdly, these stories do both for me.

Two recent NPR stories highlight how teenagers are dumb and need to be scared into being less dumb. The first is a story on how a California sheriff’s department is using computer imaging to show teens what they would look like with a meth addiction. This is because teens’ brains don’t work all that well and they might think, “You know what? Meth sounds great.” And then this shows them that they’ll be ugly if they do it, which is terrifying.

The second story is a report on findings by scientists that shows that teen drunkenness may lead to brain damage. Because their brains aren’t formed. That is why they’re dumb. Seriously, why do parents not just say that when their kids are all, “How come I can’t have sex/drive your car/speak without being spoken to?” Just tell them: Your brain is not fully formed. You are essentially running around with part of a brain. Now do what I say and finish installing Mommy’s stripper pole in the kitchen.

Anyway, kids these days.

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    Ryan McGarvey
    Ryan McGarvey4.18.2014