V.20 No.25 | 6/23/2011
Red Dragon Invades Downtown
Monster possibly about to make a trip to Knockouts
By Summer Olsson [ Tue Jun 21 2011 2:32 PM ]
I love this weird city. A crowd of shrieking and pointing passersby attracted me to the front entrance of Knockouts on my way back from lunch this afternoon. It was not a dancer doing something outrageous. It was the biggest four-legged reptile I’ve ever encountered outside of a zoo. It was rough and reddish, with a long white band on its tail and enormous jowls. Unlike the speedy Godzilla, or a Komodo dragon, it was crawling along like cold honey. And it was moving steadily towards the Knockouts door. His owner stood calmly minding him, answering questions from rubberneckers like me.
Me: “Holy shit!”
Owner: “ ... “
Me: “What is that?”
Owner: “Red tegu.”
Me: “Where’s it from?”
Me: “Oh my god, what does it eat?”
Owner: “Meat. He’s a carnivore.”
Me: “Holy shit!”
The nice man explained, however, that he has this particular red tegu on a diet of wet dog food. Still, I wouldn’t try to pet it, as they are known for eating anything that can fit between their jaws.
The Daily Word in Weiner and Wiener, sunscreen and making out
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu Jun 16 2011 11:00 AM ]
Video of a Sandoval County deputy stun gunning a 16-year-old girl for disobeying him.
Rep. Weiner is resigning post-Twitter scandal.
Naked beluga whale taming.
UNM football player arrested for refusing to pull up his saggy pants, according to airplane crew.
Monsoons supposed to follow dry winters. WTF New Mexico weather?
What is a bohemian rhapsody?
Life expectancy of women declines in U.S.
Two people making out during a riot.
Conan O’Brien’s honest commencement speech: “No specific job or career goal defines me or should define you.”
V.20 No.21 | 5/26/2011
The Daily Word with fights, Chihuahuas and Lady Gaga
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu May 26 2011 9:50 AM ]
Serbian general accused of massacring 8,000 Muslims has been captured.
Patriot Act expires tonight at midnight—and Congress is rushing to renew it.
Cibola student taken to the hospital after a fight leads to broken facial bones and seizures.
Errant golf ball kills Chihuahua.
Gov. Martinez ditches her own No. 2 and sits nonchalantly near Heather Wilson.
Growers’ markets open today in Nob Hill and Downtown.
PayPal co-founder will pay college students $100,000 to drop out of college and start companies.
Parents won’t announce baby’s sex.
Maui Time ordered by police to turn over users’ IP addresses.
Supreme Court upholds Arizona law that punishes employers who hire undocumented immigrants.
The Isotopes’ policy on booze. (Not unlike most policies on booze.)
Legislators sue guv over vetoes.
Lost pyramids spotted from space.
The ADHD of Lady Gaga.
V.20 No.20 |
The Daily Word: Food trucks, MacGyver, orgies
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu May 19 2011 10:18 AM ]
77,000 acres burned just north of Silver City.
Judge to decide wrongful death lawsuit in APD shooting from 2009. (Guy was holding a car ashtray, which officers thought was a gun.)
Health Department targets food trucks.
CDC prepares for a zombie apocalypse.
It's raining! But the long drought made the Bosque a tinderbox.
After judgment day on Saturday, what will happen to the believers' pets? Atheists are offering to take them in. For a fee.
Insurance salesmen in Germany rewarded with orgies by their company.
Why is bad food so good?
What would MacGyver do?
Gwyneth Paltrow can rap "Straight Outta Compton."
V.20 No.18 | 5/5/2011
For the Dogs
By John Bear [ Fri May 6 2011 3:00 PM ]
The Eastside Animal Welfare Center (8920 Lomas NE) is throwing a "grand opening" party to celebrate a recent renovation. On Saturday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., more than 18 animal rescue groups will man info tables and help with pet adoptions. The fun includes free pizza, door prizes and demos by the APD K-9 Unit, as well as the unveiling of two newly installed sculptures: "Kimo the Cat" by Michele VandenHeuvel and "American Dog" by Dale Rogers. The event is free to the public. For more information, call 768-1975.
V.20 No.18 |
The Daily Word: Geronimo, heroin, therapy kangaroo
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu May 5 2011 8:31 AM ]
Geronimo's great-grandson objects to bin Laden's codename.
House approves antiabortion package.
A lot of heroin in Albuquerque ($300K sold daily), says the Sheriff's Office.
"Seal Team 6, a unit so secretive that the White House and the Defense Department do not directly acknowledge its existence."
PRC investigates whether the gas company broke any rules during the cold snap.
The AP won't cover today's GOP presidential primary debate because of restrictions placed on the press by sponsors FOX News and the South Carolina Republican Party.
Pelosi wants more transparency in fraking.
Last WWI vet dies. He was 110.
Things are getting better, so Glenn Beck became irrelevant, argues WaPo columnist.
V.20 No.12 |
The Daily Word: Earthquake in Myanmar, jet fuel, sperm from scratch
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu Mar 24 2011 9:10 AM ]
7.0 earthquake hits Myanmar.
Jet fuel from Kirtland leaks into a neighborhood.
UNM proposes 8 percent tuition hike.
Lobo Village dorms to allow alcohol, but planners never mentioned it to the City Council.
Gov. Martinez is not done on the driver's license issue.
Scientists grew sperm from scratch outside the body.
Without serotonin, male mice lose their preference for females.
In 2009, Gaddafi demanded energy companies from around the world help him cover his bill for acts of terrorism.
Palestinian missiles getting closer to urban areas near Tel Aviv.
An interview with the clowns of ICP.
V.20 No.11 |
The Daily Word: .xxx, menthols, fast food
By Marisa Demarco [ Mon Mar 21 2011 9:03 AM ]
Roundhouse 2011: Bills on driver's licenses, social promotion and capital outlay fail.
Gov. Martinez promises to veto a tax that would keep New Mexico's unemployment fund afloat.
The cleanest fast-food joints in town.
First lady gives APS teacher a grant to install a salad bar at his school. But APS doesn't want it.
30 puppies may be euthanized in Las Cruces.
Fire breaks out on the roof of a nuclear reactor in Japan.
Menthols may be harder to quit, says FDA.
Porn industry and religious groups unite in hatred over .xxx web suffix.
Rich countries are eating so much quinoa, Bolivians (who lived of it for centuries) can't afford it.
The world's most perfect steak can be found in Idaho, says globe-circling book writer.
V.20 No.4 | 1/27/2011
The Daily Word 01.20.10: Garbage hotel, mafia, Gov. Martinez
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu Jan 20 2011 11:17 AM ]
130 arrested from seven mob families in a mafia crackdown.
This guy’s trying to learn how to speak prairie dog.
How about an extra year to decide about college without losing your lotto scholarship?
Only 70 percent of the population can see 3D movies.
What was served at the “quintessentially American” dinner honoring Chinese President Hu Jintao?
National Republicans may be considering Gov. Martinez for bigger things.
UNM Regent Jack Fortner is sure the governor will reappoint him. Did the $40,000 he donated to her campaign help?
Michelle Obama teams up with Wal-Mart on her healthy food campaign.
A hotel made of garbage! What will the Spanish think of next?
The ladies of death row. (Not the record label.) Wait, why is this a story?
V.19 No.50 |
The Daily Word 12.22.10: DADT signed, WTF, Lakers
By Marisa Demarco [ Wed Dec 22 2010 9:14 AM ]
Sgt. Torry Chambers arrested and accused of raping female inmates at MDC.
Guv-elect pulls a secretary of education from Florida.
President Obama signs the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal.
Toys that cause lasting psychological problems.
A nuclear treaty between the United States and Russia may pass today.
World's ugliest cat?
CIA launches WikiLeaks Task Force (WTF).
There's not an ap for WikiLeaks.
9/11 first responders pissed at Republicans.
What happened to the Lakers?
Teens not having as many babies these days.
Is America the sick kid?
50 rad things from 2010
V.19 No.50 | 12/16/2010
Lost Dog Found
Alibi ad nets stolen canine
By Staff Report
V.19 No.39 | 9/30/2010
Courtesy of Patty Mugan
500 Miles to Safety
A shelter worker becomes part of an underground railroad for strays
By Carolyn Carlson
V.19 No.38 | 9/23/2010
Free cat to bad home
My cat knows I’m an insomniac and she thinks it’s funny
By John Bear [ Thu Sep 16 2010 3:14 PM ]
It’s been nearly three days since I last slept. Or has it been four?
In either case, my cat is a jerk.
I’ve probably complained about her before.
This is my second week working on staff at the illustrious Weekly Alibi. The first week, I was deathly ill. That’s just my luck.
This week, I have been, without fail, stirred from restless sleep by the pitter patter of clawed paws raking my face. There is also the whiskers-in-the-nose face rub and the dreaded nose bite.
The cat also bites my feet and howls like a banshee if I stall.
She eats breakfast at 3:30 a.m. I will feed her. She demands it. She apparently eats again at 6:30 a.m. and meaningless torture commences at 7:30 a.m. I am usually crying by 8 a.m.
I have taken to flinging her from the bed, hoping that the threat of bodily injury will spark some sort of survival instinct in the reptilian brain of hers. I usually feel guilty about this. I don’t actually want to hurt the kitty as I am a 250 pound galoot; I only want sleep, precious, little sleep.
V.19 No.35 | 9/2/2010
Eric Williams ericwphoto.com
Where to get a pet
Finding the next Nemo, Felix, Desdemona or Mr. Sprinkles
By John Bear
V.19 No.34 |
The Daily Word 08.26.10: Glenn Beck and MLK, uranium drilling, pizza burger
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu Aug 26 2010 10:14 AM ]
40 new plant and animal species discovered off the coast of Indonesia. Think: giant sea spiders and carnivorous flower sponges.
Where did the stimulus money go?
Glenn Beck to host a rally where Martin Luther King Jr. delivered "I Have a Dream" on the speech's anniversary.
Ex-RNC chair and Bush's campaign manager reveals that he's gay.
Women of Wal-Mart join together in a class-action discrimination suit.
German singer won't do jail time for exposing two men to HIV.
Cigarettes will no longer be free for those over 54 in Cuba.
Uranium drilling starts near Grants.
Old man in Santa Fe says the 15-year-old girl was teasing him.
Federal money will help New Mexicans buy food from farmer's markets.
President Obama will be in El Paso on Tuesday.
Rio Rancho may outlaw selling cats and dogs in pet stores.
Journal apologizes to Juarez, which is not the murder capital of the world.
Burger King's 2,500-calorie pizza burger.
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