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V.20 No.47 |

news

The Daily Word in Egypt, UFOs and free rides

The Daily Word

Turkey-shapes-made-from-other-food competition. David Byrne entered two.

Tavern Taxi will drive you home for free this weekend if you've had a few drinks. Good for anywhere in Bernalillo County. 999-1400.

Black Friday shopping rage.

Businesses struggle on Lead, and road construction through the holiday season could mean local shops won't survive.

More UFO sightings in New Mexico than usual.

Worst movies ever.

Since the Republicans don't want him, ex-Gov. Gary Johnson might go Libertarian.

Sandiago's Mexican Grill cooks up a Thanksgiving feast for foster kids and their families.

Egyptians protest the military regime.

Journalist talks about her assault in Egypt by riot police.

The world's first full face transplant.

The rogue ad man behind Buy Nothing Day and the Occupy movement.

Changes to the Catholic mass.

Famous people who died in 2011.

V.20 No.35 | 9/1/2011

dreams

Rowdy’s Dream Blog #217: A secret sect.

In filtered afternoon sun, I wander down a grassy, wooded ridge, searching for a remembered pot-patch. Through the grass, I see solitary, slow moving, hooded men carrying staffs. They are part of a secret sect. One who has died is carried past me ritualistically on a litter supported from beneath by chains and bourn by two men. They believe another is also dead. I am chosen to help find him and am given the chains. We enter a small cabin. It is dark inside. Naked girls giggle and entice the monks, many of whom are easy targets for such temptation. The older brethren implore the defectors to read holy books instead. We find the corpse lying on a couch. He rolls off onto the floor, landing on his nose. He stirs. He is only drunk. His new girlfriend comes to revive him.

V.20 No.36 |

news

The Daily Word in falling satellites, no clergy allowed at 9/11 ceremony and people wearing clown noses to spread joy.

Plus, let's ban deep sea fishing.

The Daily Word

This satellite is going to fall to Earth, but NASA says it probably won't hit anyone.

More allergens this Fall than ever, including extra mold.

A team of marine scientists want to put a stop to deep sea fishing.

The private medical data of 20,000 patients was online without detection for almost a year.

Threat of terror attack has Department of Homeland Security beefing up.

Mayor Bloomberg bans clergy from 9/11 commemoration.

Xkcd reminds us that sending files is tricky.

Old-timey curse words and gross insults.

A muslim school navigates how to teach students about 9/11.

This poem reminds you to feel awesome about yourself.

A group that wears clown noses to make people smile, and wants you to wear them too.

V.20 No.35 | 9/1/2011
Bernalillo County Sheriff Dan Houston

News Bite

State in Church

ACLU calls out Sheriff’s Department for holding an event in the Lord’s house

When civil rights lawyers objected to the Sheriff's Department holding cadet graduation in a church, a spokesperson replied: We've held it there before, and APD has done it, too.

news

Sheriff plans to hold deputy graduation at a church

UPDATED 4:50 p.m.

Legacy Church will be the site of tomorrow’s graduation ceremony for new sheriff’s deputies. Sheriff Dan Houston’s bio on the Bernalillo County website states that he’s worked as the church’s security director for years.

Sheriff Department spokesperson Jennifer Vega Brown confirmed that Houston is a member of the church. She points out that under former Sheriff Manny Gonzales, graduation ceremonies were also held at Legacy Church. The Albuquerque Police Department has held two graduations there in the last few years, as well as at Hoffmantown Church, the APD chapel and secular venues, according to spokesperson Trish Hoffman.

Vega Brown says Legacy is a common place to hold large events, and other government agencies utilize the church. Plus, she says, the auditorium is just an auditorium. “When you walk in the front door, you don’t know that you’re in a church.” The county uses the venue, she says, because it’s free, there’s no fee for parking, and it can accommodate the number of people who will attend the 18-cadet graduation.

When the state’s chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union got wind of the venue earlier this week, Executive Director Peter Simonson had to object. “There are countless nonreligious sites that the Sheriff’s Department could have used to hold their graduation ceremony,” he said in an interview with the Alibi. “What’s really at stake is whether a government official can use his authority to impose religious beliefs on employees.”

The U.S. Constitution prohibits that, Simonson says. Holding the graduation ceremony in a church violates the religious establishment clause of the First Amendment. Not to mention, he adds, there’s a comparable provision in New Mexico’s constitution. Both indicate “no government official should endorse a particular religious faith in their capacity as an agent of government,” according to Simonson.

There’s grounds for a lawsuit here, he says, if a plaintiff steps forward.

Vega Brown counters that there’s nothing about the event that’s an endorsement of a religion. Though it’s standard practice to have a chaplain deliver an invocation, the Sheriff’s Department had not yet lined one up for tomorrow’s ceremony.

The ACLU of New Mexico issued a letter earlier today asking for the Sheriff’s Department to hold the graduation somewhere else. But it would be impossible to reschedule this late in the game, Vega Brown says.

V.20 No.33 |

news

The Daily Word in Phil Spector, religion and a new oil sheen

The Daily Word

The Burqueño who saved the little girl from a kidnapper is being praised and rewarded by people around the country.

What's this about a new oil sheen in the Gulf?

President Obama tells Assad to split.

Public Regulation Commissioner Jerome Block Jr.—the admitted pharmy addict who won't resign—had his driver's license suspended.

In Japan more than $78 million was found in the post-earthquake wreckage. The people who find the wallets and cash and safes keep turning them over to authorities. Weird.

California high court won't hear Phil Spector's appeal.

Coco Chanel: Nazi agent?

The taxonomy of graffiti.

Veteran APD officer made a deal with a decoy prostitute, according to police. He was arrested.

This person could die if she combs her hair.

Hey little girls: It's never to early to think about dieting.

Religion is going … going … gone in nine countries.

U.S. agency wants to know what it would take to travel to another star. Figuring it out could take a hundred years.

Not everyone is meant for college.

V.20 No.25 | 6/23/2011

news

Thou shalt not marry thine church and thine state

The city of Bloomfield, N.M., may have the Ten Commandments installed in front of City Hall. Not so fast, says the American Civil Liberties Union of New Mexico. The organization announced today that it filed a public records request on the project to determine if it violates the First Amendment.

The Bloomfield City Council supported a proposal to install the biblical statue on Monday, June 13. Four years earlier, Councilor Kevin Mauzy spearheaded a policy allowing any organization to donate a monument to City Hall as long as it pertains to the history of the U.S. law.

After the policy passed in July 2007, Peter Simonson, the executive director of ACLU-NM, expressed concerns that the Ten Commandments monument violates the Constitution. Supporters say the statue reflects the history of the Constitution and Bill of Rights. Simonson says he doesn't see anything to validate that view.

"There is no evidence to suggest a direct link between the Ten Commandments and anything in our body of laws." America’s legal system can't be attributed to any particular text, he adds.

While the monument will not receive city funding, he says its placement suggests an endorsement of a specific faith. The language of the Ten Commandments varies between religions, and Simonson says the inclusion of one variation excludes others.

"The city of Bloomfield is faced with a decision of which religion they're going to snub and which particular faith they're going to ensconce in a monument on the lawn of their City Hall," he says.

The members of the ACLU watch for cases of local governments endowing religious symbolism and meaning on city property. In some cases they can resolve the issue with a letter or open dialogue—but other cases end up in the Supreme Court. Simonson says the courts generally rule against the local government in similar cases throughout the country.

"Where the local government has simply constructed a stand-alone Ten Commandments monument ... the courts have ruled those monuments to be an impermissible violation of the First Amendment," he says. This is especially true when the governmental body that supported the installation had a religious motivation, he adds.

Simonson says that the ACLU will determine its next course of action after a full investigation into the proposal.

Bloomfield's city councilors were unavailable for comment.

V.20 No.19 |

news

The Daily Word: AIDS vaccine, Nazi guard, self-driving cars

The Daily Word

Man found dead with his throat cut near Mountain and Sixth Street.

Guy goes to the lost and found at Sandia Casino looking for his cocaine.

Bears in Roswell and Belen.

AIDS vaccine works in monkeys. A human vaccine may be just around the corner.

Paramedic says he was discriminated against because of his beard in Española. He's a Sikh, and it's part of his religion.

The M-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-humpback-humpback-I River is flooding at historic levels.


Guard for Nazi camp was charged with 28,060 counts of accessory to murder. He was sentenced to five years in prison.

Google lobbies for self-driving cars. Guess Google never watched the "Doctor Who" episode about the ATMOS system in cars.

This technology can read your mind.

World wastes more than a billion tons of food every year.

Bin Laden's diary (crushes revealed! jk).

Dems try to repeal tax incentives for big oil, given the companies are seeing profit.

V.19 No.48 |

news

The Daily Word 12.02.10: The exclamation point edition!

The Daily Word

Lobo Lucy was groped, according to APD.

No condoms for APS students, say emotional parents.

New major at UNM.

Interpol issues an arrest warrant for Dick Cheney. Ex-VP will be charged in a Nigerian bribery case.

Holy matrimony! Same-sex couples can't divorce in Iowa.

2018 World Cup heading to Mother Russia. U.S. loses 2022 to Qatar.

Shark attacks at Egyptian hotel. Sharktopus!

Sports training for babies. 400 babies!

Ant-covered Jesus smote.

Usher Molests Inanimate Objects: A Guide

Eminem hoards Grammy nods for his tired b.s.

300 sextillion real stars!

V.19 No.38 | 9/23/2010

news

The Daily Word 09.16.10: Baby flamingo, graverobbers, pope v. atheists

The Daily Word

This APS board member doesn’t believe condoms stop STDs. (This is about dispensing birth control on campuses.)

That dude who was shot Downtown by APD was armed with a butter knife.

Rio Rancho graverobbers steal bronze urns.

Baby flamingo at the zoo.

The expensive 2010 N.M. races.

Federal agency that gives money to religious groups has poor oversight.

The top 10 stories the media didn’t report.

Lobo robbed lobo, says UNMPD.

Criminals wear Yankees caps.

1 in 7 Americans lives in poverty.

Pope compares atheists to Nazis.

Tiny cow.

That band Hanson still exists. Now, it’s broody.

V.19 No.37 | 9/16/2010

sports

All Rise: The return of the NFL

America is a religious nation no matter what the Constitution says about the separation of church and state. And there is no greater ritual in America than the worship of football.

The football season began last night, amid the more obscured actual religious holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Ramadan. While some people were fasting or just breaking that fast, the majority of the nation was taking in chicken wings, beer, and the sights and sounds of the Vikings and Saints mauling one another.

The New Orleans Saints played host to the Minnesota Vikings in a rematch of last year's NFC Championship Game. The Saints had a magical season last year, which culminated in a Super Bowl victory. Drew Brees, quarterback for the Saints, completed 27 of 36 passes for 237 yards and one touchdown, as the Saints won 14-9.

The football season begins in earnest now, with the meaningless preseason junk out of the way. A full slate of games begins on Sunday, Sept. 12 at 11 a.m., with the Denver Broncos taking on the Jacksonville Jaguars. The schedule ends with the Dallas Cowboys playing the Washington Redskins in a game that begins at 6:30 p.m.

And just like that, America's got its true national pastime back. While baseball may have occupied that territory early in the last century, it's clear from the devotional fervor that adorns even the commercials for the NFL that our deities have shifted. Fantasy football is almost as big as the actual games, and the Super Bowl is the biggest TV draw in the U.S. It remains to be seen if that attitude will shift again in the future, but for now, football is king and football is back.

V.19 No.35 |

news

The Daily Word 09.02.10: Another Gulf rig explodes, chain-smoking 2-year-old, no creator

The Daily Word

Another offshore oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico exploded.

Hurricane Earl is growing and heading for North Carolina.

Stephen Hawking says God didn't create the universe.

Woman's body found on a NE Heights sidewalk. She was 30.

Pipe bomb in a Rio Rancho apartment complex.

Privately owned prisons in N.M. haven't paid fines for understaffing.

More people in N.M. don't like the boosted war effort in Afghanistan.

LANL OK'd to build a staging facility for nuclear waste.

Families say Santa Fe police threatened them with deportation when they wouldn't cooperate in an investigation.

Chain-smoking 2-year-old quits.

Look how much BP spent trying to clean up … its image.

Stop the press! Some women like having small breasts.

Have a DIY drink.

V.19 No.33 |
"Pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!"--Eric Idle, The Meaning of Life.
wow-tube.ru
"Pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!"--Eric Idle, The Meaning of Life.

cosmology, religion, humor

The Passion of the Quantum Singularity

Warning: Screed follows

All praise is due unto the Grand Unified Theory and the intolerant hairless apes that hath spawned it.

It’s a shame that a bunch of white wing (deliberate Freudian slip) Christians don’t want an Islamic community center in an old Burlington Coat Factory in Manhattan, even though by protesting against one, they contradict the very freedoms they hold dear. I guess they don’t realize what an ugly and irrational force hate can be.

At the same time, I can’ t help but think I’m sick of people arguing about who has the better version of the invisible-man-in-the-sky who-invented-all-of-creation story. Whoever S/he is, S/he isn’t amused. I’m not into any of this, and it’s taking up too much airtime, especially since most of these people seem to hate the same things: immigrants, homosexuals, women and each other.
Seriously, unemployment is high, we are still involved in one and a half wars, and the earth appears to officially be broken. My cable news has been invaded by the Wholly Irrelevant.

Besides, believing in an omniscient being that obsesses over this tiny rock, which amounts to the western Oklahoma of the universe, seems silly when the size of it can be measured and it’s age calculated, and it’s very very big, thirteen billion light years wide. Hubris.

Solution: I’ve been watching space shows on the Science Channel, and the History Channel, when it’s not playing shows about the DaVinci Code. Some of this space stuff is so hard to fathom, it might as well be a religion.
Because I am sick and tired of religion and the animosity it creates, I propose . . . a new religion for all of humanity based on what I have learned watching basic cable.

My glorious new religion shall be called “Big Bangism,” and it’s adherents, Big Bangers, after the widely accepted theory that the universe sprang into existence from a tiny point in the black void of nothingness--or something like that; I can’t remember; I wasn’t really paying attention. Don’t drag me down with your damn details. The devil is in those. This is faith, dammit.

To keep things interesting, humans can argue about the exact title of the new religion. Half of the people can refer to this exciting new cosmology as “Giant Explosionism,” though Giant Explosioners are generally smelly heathen with no class. But I appreciate their right to worship as they please. It’s not me who will have to answer to the Supermassive Black Hole when it engulfs us all in it’s glorious and all powerful event horizon. Amen.

That’s the beauty part of watching these shows: half of the episodes focus on space objects that may one day destroy us all, so the apocalyptic angle is covered. In addition to rogue black holes, there are gamma ray bursts from the poles of stars going supernova, giant rocks, and, I suppose, malevolent species of aliens.

Come, brothers and sisters. Abandon your old-fangled ways and embrace some new-fangled ones. It’s really hard to understand, but that’s the beauty of religion: Why have understanding when you can have faith. I am reminded of a time when I was mocking a piece of duct tape purported to show an image of Jesus. I was told, with disdain for my obvious lack of it, “It’s faith, John.” This particular image of Jesus, by the way, is available if you’re interested, on Ebay. May he who hath the highest bid emerge triumphant. Praise the Black Hole and pass the Strong Electromagnetism. Amen.


V.19 No.31 | 8/5/2010
Hellllloooo, booooys
Hellllloooo, booooys

Religion

The Pope is Sassy

A “lie-beral” atheist heathen friend of mine passed this along to me— the 15 gayest pictures of his holiness. Behold Pope Benedict XVI, Ratzinger of Bavaria in all of his fancy-hatted glory.

V.19 No.24 | 6/17/2010
Mark Dolson (played by David Cooper, Jr.) spars with Father Farley (Steven Suttle) in an ideological cage fight.
Craig Stoebling

Performance Review

Father Knows Best?

In the pulpit with Aux Dog Theatre

[ more >> ] [ permalink ]

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