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V.22 No.51 | 12/19/2013

news

The Daily Word in sign language, our moral compass and Taos Ski Valley

The Daily Word

There was a fake sign language interpreter at the Nelson Mandela memorial.

Russia is the moral compass of the world.

The space station broke down—miles from the nearest town.

A giant meteor exploded over Tucson.

Welcome back, extinct tree.

Lou Reed had a Lou Zoom magnifying app. Be sure to read the review.

Instant messaging is coming to Instagram.

Cool dragons. (Thanks, Oskar!)

Help me hate Michael Cera. I can’t do it all myself.

Let’s pour molten aluminum in a (vacant) anthill.

Check out Alibi’s Last Minute Gift Guide.

Have a delicious iPhone cookie.

Opposites don’t attract, says eHarmony.

McCluskey gets life.

Taos Ski Valley has been sold.

Happy birthday Edvard Munch.

V.22 No.36 |

news

The Daily Word in Utah gorings, SNAP cuts and a lost Van Gogh

The Daily Word

Are you sure that's an original Van Gogh? Where's my magnifying glass?

Russia calls on Syria to turn over its chemical weapons and place them under international control.

The new iPhones might have a fingerprint scanner? What will they think of next? An eye-laser identification system?

A man died over the weekend after falling from an elevated walkway at San Francisco's Candlestick Park during an NFL game.

A man in Utah was airlifted to the hospital after being gored by his buffalo. According to news reports, this is the third animal goring to happen in Utah in less than a month.

Amanda Hobbs, 24, died this morning due to injuries received from a triple shooting that happened in Valencia County on Saturday. Her father, Wesley Hobbs, 54, died after being shot twice in the head, and her mother, Patricia Hobbs, was also shot but is now out of the hospital. Police have yet to pinpoint suspects or a motive for the shooting.

A candlelight vigil was held on Sunday evening to honor fallen firefighter, Token Adams, who went missing on Aug. 30 in Jemez Springs Park. His body was found a week later, and officials specified that he died after crashing his ATV.

Some New Mexicans are going to have to make arrangements when the SNAP (food stamps) program loses some of its benefits within the next two months.

Move over Ancient Egypt; it looks like a modern Eurasian has the market cornered on mummification.

V.22 No.31 |

news

The Daily Word in fat shaming professors, highway robbery and craigslist baby sales

The Daily Word

UNM psychology professor Geoffrey Miller, who sparked controversy by tweeting that overweight people don't have the willpower to complete graduate work, will return to New Mexico this fall. We assume that he will be continuing his important work on studying the effects of being a huge asshole on one's career.

Official Alibi dating advice: never try to sell your prospective girlfriend's baby on Craigslist.

Highway robbery! A guy in Russia managed to steal an entire road.

Federal cuts to food stamp programs will hit New Mexico families hard.

Ariel Castro's house, where he held three women captive for over a decade, has been scraped off of the Earth.

The US and Russia are still in a spat over this whole Snowden business.

Hey! Here's how to make a toilet out of a banana!

London sewer workers discovered a 15-ton mass of congealed grease and wet wipes in— excuse me, I'm going to be sick now.

news

The Daily Word in a conservative summit near Bernalillo, increased threat levels and The Bloodhound Gang's adventures in Ukraine

The Daily Word

Update on the Sunday afternoon motorcycle club shoot out.

It appears the Koch brothers and other conservative types rented, for some diabolical reason, the entire Hyatt Tamaya Resort north of Bernalillo.

A proposal to limit abortions in Albuquerque may not make it onto the next election ballot.

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is purchasing the Washington Post. Rosebud.

United states and Britain tell citizens to leave Yemen immediately. Everyone made it through last weekend's Lollapalooza though.

Former President of The United StatesDubble-yuh had heart surgery.

Giant pentagram can be seen from space.

"All items that the band throws into the crowd must first pass through the bassist's pants."

Super Nanny "Control Toys."

Two New Brunswick kids were strangled by a python.

Man to be chained, locked in a coffin and thrown out of a plane.

V.22 No.19 |

news

The Daily Word in the Bobcat Bite, peacocks in heat, spies and Mayan pyramids

The Daily Word

At the Albuquerque Zoo, a peacock attacked a two year old kid.

Albuquerque's new recycling plant is almost open.

Rep. Steve Pearce wants to change the Waste Isolation Pilot Plant's mission.

Santa Fe's famous Bobcat Bite restaurant is losing it's current operators after a dispute with the property owner.

The Russians claim to have captured an American spy.

The Department of Justice seized a HUGE number of Associated Press phone records from April and May.

This man spent the night in a grocery store.

This man seems to have found a copy of Coca-Cola's secret recipe. It is now on eBay.

Apparently in Belize it is not uncommon for ancient Mayan pyramids and mounds to be bulldozed and used for road-building material.

Contrary to popular claims, piracy is not killing the entertainment industry.

Here's another Chinese Ghost Mall.

If you live in L.A. you can go see a 35mm screening of the excellent film Manson. Otherwise, enjoy the trailer.

The Mayor of Osaka, Japan claims enslaved prostitutes were necessary during WWII.

On this day in 1936, Bobby Darin was born. He was talented but sickly and just after Darin got his own T.V. show in 1973, he died.

V.21 No.52 |

news

The Daily Word in New Year's Day.

The Daily Word

The Senate passed a fiscal cliff deal.

People died in a deadly human stampede.

A suspected bomb builder gave birth.

Putin decided Russia has a drinking problem.

It's dangerous to be funny in Egypt.

New Year's Day is a big suicide day.

Take note of celebrity air rage incidents.

A Japanese porn star got 100 of bottles if ick.

What are the most hungover cities in America?

Here's a newborn baby elephant.

Parrots hate electronic music.

The world's biggest treehouse.

A cat enjoys the holidays.

Microscope photos.

APD DWI checkpoint report.

Happy birthday Frank Langella.

Thanks to Susan Petersen, Sarah Bonneau and Helenoid for the links.

V.21 No.52 | 12/27/2012

news

The Daily Word in killer storm, childhood obesity, Starbucks politics

The Daily Word

Intense storm system blamed in the deaths of at least six people after it dumped sleet and snow in the Midwest and unleashed tornadoes in the South.

Childhood obesity rates appear to be falling.

KRQE provides some helpful tips for returning those unwanted Christmas presents.

You can no longer adopt a child from Russia.

Politics, politics, everywhere … even on your Starbucks cups.

A family in Albuquerque lost their home after it went up in flames on Christmas Day.

Christmas on the ISS.

Hobbit actors see how fast they can name all of the dwarves.

Creepy (sexy?) John Mayer Santa.

Who steals a baby Jesus from a nativity scene on Christmas? C’mon.

IRL online shopping.

V.21 No.31 | 8/2/2012

Culture

Free Pussy Riot

On the altar of the Christ the Savior Cathedral in Moscow, five masked women prayed. They prayed for an end to President Vladimir Putin’s rein. They prayed for the virgin to become a feminist.

The February protest aimed to highlight the ties between Putin and the Russian Orthodox Church that put him into power. The words convey the weird tangle of church, culture and state. Scope the full text.

Three women were arrested days after the prayer—five had participated in the minute-long event—and have been held in prison ever since on charges of hooliganism. There was a time when this would have seemed more outrageous to free speech-prizing Americans. But we’ve gotten used to arrests after political protests.

Their trial began yesterday and they could do seven years in prison. Two of the defendants have young kids.

The women’s lawyers say they’ve been deprived of sleep and not fed. And though polls indicate most Russians think seven years in jail is too severe a punishment, they seem to agree Pussy Riot should do some time.

Still, internationally, Putin’s looking ever more the fool.

Musicians like Tobi Vail of Bikini Kill and JD Samson of Le Tigre stood in solidarity with Pussy Riot from the start. Hannah Lew of Grass Widow wrote that she feels spoiled as an American musician, and U.S. performers should be inspired to engage in nonviolent protest.

Madonna, Sting, Peter Gabriel and the Red Hot Chili Peppers jumped on the bandwagon today, too, showing support for Pussy Riot.

Freepussyriot.org is keeping track of the collective’s allies.

V.21 No.23 |

News

The Daily Word in shady behavior, hard time(s) and pseudo-utero

The Daily Word

The World Health Organization says diesel exhaust fumes cause lung cancer.

The arrest of seven Zetas drug cartel members from Mexico may reveal links to money laundering via horse breeding and racing in several U.S. states, including New Mexico.

The worst recent surge of killings in Iraq renews fears about sectarian violence.

Former assistant of Gabrielle Giffords will take her place in Congress after beating out conservative opponent.

Handy tip: Don't keep $1.25 million in envelopes around your apartment if the Russian security state is on your ass.

George Zimmerman's wife is now in trouble with the law, too.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. (along with approximately 7 million other U.S. citizens) is having a rough time in jail.

A newly formed public-interest reporting organization aims "to foster a stronger journalistic culture in our state."

Jay McCleskey, top advisor to Gov. Susana Martinez, obtained names and email addresses of non-union public school teachers on behalf of her political action committee. Why McCleskey wanted the list isn't clear. It's against the law for state employees to contribute to the work of PACs.

Joy Junction emergency shelter is set to expand in the midst of what its CEO calls a statewide "crisis" of homelessness.

Scientists were shocked to find algae thriving under Arctic sea ice.

Stress of contemporary life got you on the rails? Self-soothe by crawling back into the (recycled-fiber) womb.

Stevie Wonder joins the Albuquerque Isotopes! (Don't get as excited as I did at the prospect.)

V.21 No.17 |

NEWS

The Daily Word in new tallest building, warming wind farms, Martian lava coils.

The Daily Word

Trayvon Martin-esque situation sparks controversy in Arizona after a developmentally disabled man is shot and killed with shooter claiming self-defense.

Elderly brother and sister found dead inside Albuquerque mobile home.

Michael Wiener steps down as Bernalillo County vice chair, but continues his duties as commissioner.

Wind farming - the newest thing to blame for global warming.

For only $100,420, you could be the proud owner of the Sea Shadow prototype stealth ship and the Hughes Mining Barge!

One World Trade Center will overtake Empire State Building as tallest building in New York City.

Old-timey cartoons bent on traumatizing children.

Wicked awesome lava coils found on the surface of Mars.

Russian space agency says they plan to send a manned mission to Mars by 2030.

Camera traps capture images of two of the world's rarest mammals in the jungles of the Philippines.

Two separate stabbing incidents in San Diego both have their own bizarre trigger points.

Let's go to France to find a super-secret underground war bunker, ok?

Pop quiz!

Bangorrhea: The "grammedical" condition of overusing exclamation points!!

V.21 No.12 | 3/22/2012

news

The Daily Word in Manning’s millions, Earhart’s disappearance and Winfrey’s layoffs

The Daily Word

A Russian military unit arrives in Syria. Russia has been one of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s closest allies. Human Rights Watch cites Syria for “serious human rights abuses.”

Quarterback Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos agree to a 5-year, $96 million dollar deal.

What does this mean for crestfallen Tim Tebow?

The U.S. State Department is re-opening the unsolved case regarding the mysterious disappearance of Amelia Earhart.

Disney is expected to take a $200 millon dollar loss from underwhelming film John Carter, one of Hollywood’s biggest flops.

The death of unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin set to go before a grand jury.

Oprah “Iron Fist” Winfrey lays off 30 Oprah Winfrey Network employees.

The gunman in France who killed three children and a rabbi at a Jewish school filmed the shooting with a camera attached to his neck.

Hebrew University plans to release Albert Einstein’s complete archives online.

On July 1st, 8 million college students will see their student loan interest rates double.

The New York Times plans to cut free online access to its content in half, requiring a subscription to view more.

APD officer shoots and kills a man after police say he used his SUV to ram cars.

New Mexico’s graduation rates have gone down three points since 2002.

Some people looking for jobs are getting asked for their Facebook passwords during interviews.

Wendy’s takes the ranking from Burger King as the country’s second biggest hamburger chain.

V.21 No.2 |

NEWS

The Daily Word in capsized cruise ship, crashing Mars probe, self-whistleblowing bank robber.

Happy Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

The Daily Word

Captain receiving blame for cruise ship capsize off the coast of Italy. Also, an Albuquerque couple was among the survivors.

The Earth's crust in New Mexico is stretching.

Jon Huntsman to drop out of 2012 race and endorse Romney.

First ad from Colbert's super PAC attacking Mitt.

Lobos win first conference game 72-62 at Wyoming.

The 'atrocious' officiating of the NFL playoffs.

A word from Kim Jong Un's best friends from growing up.

May I please have all of these for my birthday?: Astronomy illustrations from 1868-1881.

Russia's Mars probe crashes into the Pacific.

Urban camo.

Bank robber calls 911 on himself.

Why only men like comic books.

Jay-Z bans the "B-word" and gets a nasty response.

Taliban leader reported dead in US drone strike.

Transsexual-averse Girl Scout calls for cookie boycott.

Jimmy Fallon as Tebowie.

V.21 No.2 | 1/12/2012

Cryptid Alert

Cryptid Alert! A Russian Yeti is in custody.

A large, sad monkey (hereinafter the Yeti) has been arrested by Russian authorities on charges of impersonating a bear, dragging livestock and producing incomprehensible sounds. He looks sad and they should just let him go.

V.20 No.52 |

NEWS

The Daily Word in what happened in 2011, what's coming in 2012, a divorce over something that happened in the 1940's

The Daily Word

Beloved elderly man dies in the cold on his porch in La Mesilla, NM.

New state laws for 2012 bring about happy hour bans, fire-breathing regulations and more.

Canadian drug found successful in treating ovarian cancer.

99-year-old Italian man divorcing his wife of 77 years over her 1940's affair.

Anti-theft butt cheek recognition car seats.

Amazon, Facebook and Google consider a coordinated anti-SOPA blackout.

Target becomes target (hehe) for large public gathering of breast-feeding moms.

CNN's top stories of 2011.

Too bad Christmas is over: I would have wanted a Batman iPod dock with built in taser.

Let's make some New Year's Eve resolutions.

Fox apologizes to Jews for Facebook poll on Jesus' death.

Words of comfort: Russia test fires long-range missile with new warhead.

Apparently Rihanna's forehead has its own Uncyclopedia page.

Thanks C!

V.20 No.49 |

NEWS

The Daily Word in England turning into a pygmy, Bill Richardson grand jury investigation, ridiculous bank fees and another pumping party tragedy

The Daily Word

Former New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson is in hot water again.

Sandia Peak Ski Area is open.

Teen with $4.85 in his savings account ends up with more than 200.00 worth of fees in less than two weeks.

Three giant men of fifties advertising.

Police say this fake woman doctor caused a man's death after a New Jersey pumping party. The man died of an embolism one day after she injected his penis with silicone.

This may be the most insane fast food restaurant ad ever. AND it's Russian. AND it's nearly two minutes long. AND there's a unicorn.

British PM David Cameron is really pissing off the rest of Europe and some Brits.

The teacher in this commercial is feeling great! Just great!
(commercial starts at 3:12.)

Check out these super-sexy rotary telephones pictured on classicrotaryphones.com.

Here's a 24 hours long loop of the sound the star ship Enterprise makes on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

North Korea has warned South Korea of "unexpected consequences" if it lights up a Christmas tree-shaped tower near their tense border.

"Who among us doesn't wager $10K at a time?"

This lady went to some lengths in faking her own rape. Find out why.

Meth lab in a bag.

On this day in 1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the The United States.

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