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V.20 No.49 | 12/8/2011
Kinky Friedman explains the interpersonal skills required to be a Wal-Mart greeter.
Brian Khanki

Spotlight

The Jewish Cowboy

Kinky Friedman on music, satire and Rick Perry's hair

Lone Star state raconteur and troubadour Kinky Friedman stops in Santa Fe on his 14-city Hanukkah Tour.

[ more >> ] [ permalink ]

news

The Daily Word in look-a-likes, female PMs and

Plus, a planet with two suns!

Denmark just elected its first female prime minister.

Stud Finder, by xkcd.

DNA test being done to see if Santa Fe mom's son is really a missing boy from 2000.

Florida cable guy exposes himself and masturbates in client's living room, police say.

Meet some Stanford genius hackers and code writers.

China's buying up gold, perhaps to weaken the U.S. dollar.

Can this tiny college in the Catskills annihilate the economy?

Texas inmate receives stay of execution from the Supreme Court because testimony at his trial may have been racist.

Scientists discover the first planet that is definitely orbiting two stars.

The changing face of atheism.

news

The Daily Word with Bulgarian Yogurt, Violent Tweets and Crossbow Attacks

APD fires officer over violent tweets.

Companies who pay more to their CEOs than in taxes.

Federal judge strikes down Texas sonogram law.

Gawker vs. Fox News, round whatever.

The origins of the Black Death have been uncovered.

Boy shot with crossbow for throwing rocks at cars.

Bad news for Greek yogurt.

Will an HIV scare lead to less new porn?

Fermilab scientists figures out how to cut plane boarding time in half.

Glenn Beck wants to know if the term colored is really such a bad thing.

Stupid things Game of Thrones characters have done.

Cyberlockers replace Bittorret sites as the most popular file-sharing sites.

Happy birthday Buddy Hackett!!!

you suck!

Nice Parking Job, Asshole!

Thanks to Paul for sending me this one.

I'm sure you see plenty of asshole parking jobs, take a picture and email me.

news

The Daily Word: 7.8.11- Middle East protests, miracle twins, baseball fan's demise and Leal's execution.

And the senseless butchering of The Great Gatsby

APD SWAT needed to break up domestic dispute.

Thousands of Egyptians demand faster reform, fill Tahrir square again.

Also, thousands of Syrians protest president, fill Hama.

South Sudan becomes an independent country tomorrow. Happy birthday, South Sudan!

Man falls from stands to death, trying to catch ball at Rangers game.

Twins born 50 hours apart, in two different counties.

California prison inmates on hunger strike over isolating conditions.

Texas is all "I do what I want," and executes Humberto Leal.

Dude, the unemployment rate is high.

Roger Ebert's appropriately scathing review of a dumbed-down Great Gatsby. With winch-inducing excerpts!

Doghouse Diaries on camera technology.

news

The Daily Word with Rare Earth Minerals, A Groundbreaking Tampon Ad and a 100-Mile-Wide Dust Storm

President Obama and Texas Governor Rick Perry at odds over scheduled execution of a Mexican national.

Al-Qaida linked terrorist secretly brought to New York to stand trial.

Not many problems with illegal fireworks this year.

Roadwork on the west side begins today.

South Korea will host the 2018 Winter Olympics.

Casey Anthony found not guilty, the talking heads who convicted her go apeshit!

Did illegal immigrants cause a 100-mile-wide dust storm in Phoenix???

Biker dies from head injury while protesting helmet laws in New York.

The Anti-PowerPoint Party is Switzerland's newest political party. Can you guess what their agenda is?

New study shows environmental factors play a more important role in causing autism.

Behold, a landmark American tampon ad.

Ad for the new Kevin James movie digitally inserted into 2007 rerun of How I Met Your Mother.

Man tries to escape prison in his wife's suitcase.

Japan discovers huge deposit of rare earth minerals.

Hooray for weird Italian sci-fi movies!

Top 10 cosmic album covers.

Monkey steals camera, takes the greatest self portrait ever.

Man sues to get his porn in prison.

The first cyborg horror story is 1834's The Steam Arm.

Your July financial to-do list.

McDonald's is test marketing an English Pub Burger.

Largest ever marsupial fossil discovered in Australia.

Holy Happy Birthday Burt Ward!!!

news

The Daily Word: Alec Baldwin for Mayor, Upgrade Your iPhone Today, Mass-Grave In Texas

Wallow Fire is creeping towards the NM state line.

Connecticut became the 13th state to decriminalize marijuana.

Two dogs die after being left in hot Animal Welfare vehicle.

Conservative activist group puts fake eviction notices on Detroit homeowners' doors.

Margaret Thatcher won't meet with Sarah Palin.

The owner of Steins Ghost Town was found shot to death.

The Texas mass-grave that wasn't.

Speaker of the House John Boehner more than doubled his monthly expense account.

Long list of sports figures who claimed their Twitter was hacked.

E. Coli infections in Tennessee.

New deep space images from the VLT Survey Telescope.

Alec Baldwin is considering running for mayor of New York City.

How to upgrade your iPhone to iOS 5 today!

Australia's Department of Defense claims to have lost all of it's UFO files.

One out of four US hackers is a FBI informant.

Good news for the 23,322 bittorrenters accused of sharing The Expendables.

The most kissed girl in the world.

Why aren't airplane seats designed better?

Peanutweeter is the new Garfield Minus Garfield.

10 video game facts about the late Macho Man Randy Savage.

Happy birthday Joan Rivers!!!

you suck!

Nice Parking Job, Asshole!

There Are Assholes In Texas Edition

I was in Texas for a wedding this weekend. Found this one at the rehearsal dinner.

I'm sure you see plenty of asshole parking jobs, take a picture and email me.

sports

Goliaths

Unlike the men's tournament—where we have, perhaps, the most unlikely Final Four of all time—the women's tournament has all the regal airs of a coronation. Will the University of Connecticut continue their otherworldly dominance? Will they meet up with Stanford—a team that many have claimed is actually the best in the country even as UConn was winning a record amount of games? Or will the (semi-)underdogs have a chance? Notre Dame's Fighting Irish took out the Tennessee Volunteers on Monday night ending Pat Summitt's revenge-quest on Geno and his UConn Huskies. The Fighting Irish are ranked as a No. 2 seed so it's not like people were taking them for granted. But, usually, when the path goes through Tennessee, that's where the path ends. Finally, on Tuesday night the second-seeded Texas A&M Aggies dismantled the Baylor Bears. Brittney Griner is one of the most exciting players in women's basketball—if only for pure spectacle—but she and her team were completely destroyed by A&M.

With all the fuss on Stanford and UConn's potential rematch —you might recall that they've played once this season already—there's a lot missing from the conversation about the contenders that will vie to keep them from that game.

On the one hand, Notre Dame enters their matchup with UConn with some nice momentum. UConn cruised past Duke, where the Fighting Irish had to scrap to get past the specter of Tennessee. (Notre Dame entered the game against the Vols with a lifetime record of 0-20 against Tennessee.) Also, there's a pesky knee injury that might be troubling Maya Moore.

On the other hand, Texas A&M seems ready and willing to take the fight to anyone. As they demonstrated against 6' 8" Brittney Griner, they're not in the NCAA Tournament bowing to any team, and that includes Stanford. Stanford roughed up the highest-scoring team in the nation in their Elite Eight matchup with Gonzaga— holding them to only 60 points in a game where the Lady Zags scored 38 in the first half.

The Final Four games begin on Sunday. Texas A&M will try to play the spoiler for Stanford at 5 p.m. MST on ESPN and then Notre Dame will attempt to deny Geno Auriemma's ladies their chance at the title game. Two teams will be vanquished and it's likely the No. 1 seed titans will play each other on Tuesday night for all the marbles. That game promises to be one of the best seen in a long, long time—as long as neither of those pesky 2 seeds decide they have something to say about it.

news

The Daily Word With Angry Birds Movie Trailers, Heart-Charged iPods, Etch A Sketch Art

Texas is thinking about legalizing gambling to make up for their own budget deficit. Yee haw?

Welfare recipients in NYC may soon be forced to scrub subways to get their check.

Your iPod may soon be able to be charged by a beating heart.

This man completely lost it when he failed to steal a muffin fromthe Copper Canyon Cafe on Gibson.

An explosive device was found in an old refrigerator near Wyoming and Osuna.

If you’re in the market for your very own aircraft carrier, now’s your chance!

All those bastardized online abbreviations you’ve come to love (or hate) make the dictionary.

Take a look at this sweet gallery of amazing Etch A Sketch art.

Richard Simmons stars in this really creepy airline safety video for Air New Zealand.

This Ohio man gets a cable bill in the mail for a cool $16 million.

Watch this hilarious “real life” movie trailer for Angry Birds.

NEWS

The Daily Word 3.26.11: No confidence vote for Stephen Harper; marionettes; The Beardpick Challenge; TMZ style Gandhi revelation

Geraldine Ferraro is dead.

Elizabeth Taylor lives on in pictures.

Parliament has voted no confidence in Canada's conservative govt. Here's how that works.

Bill Maher has found the perfect anti-Obama GOP presidential candidate and his name is Karab Amabo.

The FBI still doesn't know who was behind the anthrax-letters in 2001.

Sucker Punch: the newest worst-movie ever. Movie review.

Police in Texas took a woman into custody for driving without a license. The cops left her two year old kid behind in the car.

Brett Michaels claims his stroke was caused by a Spinal Tap styled stage mishap. AND he's suing over it. W/ video!

Gandhi was in love with a German bodybuilder named Hermann.

"Where there's smoke, there's fried chicken." Latest Rio Grande Sun Police Blotter.

Two guys in Mississippi got into a shootout over dog shit.

Get a %25 discount at a Santa Fe smoke shop if your pic... uh, mugshot, appears in the "Jailbyrd" free newspaper.

Some of the rebel forces battling Gaddafi are affiliated with Al Qaida....

Radioactive sea; CNN's Nancy Grace argues with a weatherman about "made in Japan" radiation coming to the U.S.

The Beardpick Challenge.

The Internet Archive has a great collection of films, including these Civil Defense films with marionettes.

On this day in 1885, the Second Louis Riel Rebellion began at Duck Lake in Saskatchewan, Canada.


news

The Daily Word featuring Twitter growing up, Libya going crazy, South Park creators getting Mormon

A New York Times photographer was taken hostage and sexually assaulted in Libya. She took some incredible photos.

Already, this ridiculous Libyan faux-conflict is already costing several billion dollars.

This man brought an open can of beer to his DWI court appearance.

The Quran is found “guilty,” burned in a Florida church.

Get ready for Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s Broadway musical “The Book of Mormon.”

People are signing an online petition to have Apple remove a “gay cure” app.

This Albuquerque man went in to cardiac arrest and later died after being tased by police.

So that’s where my WWII-era machine gun went...

This man was so pissed off that Taco Bell burritos went up in price, he started firing at police. They’re not real anyway, dude.

Stand by Me? These kids in Texas find a human skull while fishing.

OMG, it’s Twitter’s fifth birthday!

...And this N.C. historian is telling the story of the Civil War through Twitter.

news

The Daily Word: Sex Toy Defusing, Japan in Even Worse Shape, Soy Sauce Hazing

Radiation levels are increasing in Japan after explosions continue to rock nuclear power plants.

... And with that, Japan’s tsunami and earthquake disaster is more costly than Hurricane Katrina.

This soy sauce fraternity hazing could have been responsible for a seizure.

Yee-haw! Texans are fighting to bring back the Alamo battle flag.

A Russian bomb squad was called to defuse a sex toy.

Al Franken thinks big corporations are trying to take down the Internet.

Libyan rebels want the west to take out Gaddafi.

If you have to tweet your anxiety attack, are you really having an anxiety attack?

Sorry, there will be no Harry Baals building in Fort Wayne.

This man used a samurai sword to rob a pharmacy.

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