V.20 No.10 |
The Daily Word: Japan, Politics, Politics, Politics, Hitler, Politics, Boob Jobs, Politics
Bill O'Reilly says the media is hyping the the nuclear situation in Japan, meanwhile Japanese workers evacuate the troubled nuclear plant. In an unrelated matter, it's being reported that radioactive snow is falling in Japan.
Not a single Republican on the House Energy committee will admit that climate change is real.
N.M. House rejects the Senate's immigrant license bill.
New census data shows Rio Rancho and Los Lunas are New Mexico's fastest growing cities.
Democrats are trying to force Republicans who oppose Obama's health care overhual to publicly declare whether they accept taxpayer-subsidized health care from the Federal Employee Health Benefit Program.
Missouri lawmakers are repealing voter-approved anti-puppy-mill lows.
House committee has nothing better to do than vote to defund NPR and PBS.
Is this what conservatives really want? Georgia governor raises taxes on Girl Scout Cookies, and cuts taxes on multinational corporations. While Michigan's governor cuts corporate tax rate by 86% and raises taxes for the working poor.
A terrible mother filed a lawsuit against her daughter's preschool for inadequately preparing the 4-year-old to pursue an Ivy League education.
Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez is urging his citizens to say no to boob jobs.
Chicago bookstore forced to cancel mafia book signing after threats.
Some of the best walk off moments from 60 Minutes.
Life publishes some never-before seen photos of Hitler.
A tour of the worlds greatest holes.
TV's Buffy The Vampire Slayer premiered 14 years ago this week.
Lean Cuisine meals are being recalled.
Were you a Hee Haw fan or did your parents prefer Soul Train? You can only choose one!
Hey nerds! Read Stan Lee's deposition on the creation of the Marvel universe. Seriously, it's good.
The Gap want's you to haggle for your next pair of pants.
Charlie Sheen's porn star
Stephen King is writing another Dark Tower book.
Fake Gov. Susana Martinez, real Gov. Susana Martinez
There are two pretend guvs on Twitter.
At least, the Alibi hopes they're pretend. Because no one should outlaw Don Schrader's booty shorts. Our official editorial policy is firmly in favor of those shorts. Anonymous sources confirm: The other apparel option is nekkidness.
Susana2014 aims to offer insight into Martinez' internal world.
SusanaLaTejana writes in haiku.
In actual news, real ex-Gov. Bill Richardson is pissed at real Gov. Martinez for being disrespectful to him.
There's also a fake CoachLocksley.
And a clearly labeled FakeAbqPolice.
Know of any other satirical Twitters?
V.20 No.6 |
The Daily Word 2.12.11: Worse than yogurt; sheep are smarter than you think; inject the venom
Those in power across the middle east continue to try and buy their citizens off
Bath Salts mimic the effects of cocaine and LSD. Really?
Speaking of wild drugs, who hasn't wanted to try snake venom?
After the venom, why not finally do this?
Cool slide show on mass movement of rural male Chinese to cities. Anyone who can give me a synonym for rural that starts w/ an M gets a kudo.
Fake Rahm Emanuel is even better than fake Andy Rooney on Twitter. If you start a week ago the feed reads kind of like Into The Wild w/ interns and baked beans.
Sunflower Market founder Michael Gilliland busted on suspicion of soliciting a minor for prostitution. Jeez.
Illinois ponzi scheme.
NY Post probably had the best cover depicting Mubarek resignation.
Sheep are smarter than.... smarter than you thought, anyway.
On this day in 1950, Einstein warned against the hydrogen bomb.
V.20 No.3 |
Hard times for Lobos, Packers and Steelers in Super Bowl
V.19 No.50 | 12/16/2010
Anti-Social is relief for the social media-addicted
Do you have a computery job from which you take breaks throughout the day to check in on Facebook or the Twitter? A software developer has created an application for Mac users that helps quell the urge to engage in the time-wasting habits related to social media. When activated, Anti-Social makes it impossible to log on to certain sites—as dictated by the user—unless you reboot your computer. Read about it, or listen to NPR’s story here.
V.19 No.38 | 9/23/2010
Why we hate sports celebrities
Covering sports is getting to be harder day by day. There's the usual suspects (NBA players arrested on suspicion of domestic abuse and previously untouchably clean superstars turning out to be kinda-sorta scumbags), and then there's a little bit more.
Reggie Bush just became the first Heisman Trophy winner in history to give the trophy back. This will not put an end to the cloud of scandal surrounding the University of Southern California. Nor is that cloud limited to the football program and now-departed (but not fired, he just got a job in the NFL) head football coach, Pete Carroll. The USC basketball program, meanwhile, is dogged by accusations that its star around the same time, O.J. Mayo, who now plays in the NBA, engaged in essentially the exact same behavior.
To anyone who thinks the current trouble is SoCal-centered, look no further than Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl and the suspicion that is refusing to leave his side. In the pros, the recent NBA newsscape has been dominated by the fact that LeBron James' Q Score has fallen—drastically.
But is this really new? Are these things that didn't happen before? Are we living in some kind of deadly dark era, where athletes are misbehaving at a never-before-seen level? Is there something wrong with our generation?
Or, is it simply a reflection of the sped-up era in which we live? There have been numerous suggestions that the 24-hour cable news cycle makes it appear as though we live in a more violent world than is actually the case. With athletes hopping onto social networks like Twitter we get an unfiltered look at them and their lives. Few people will dispute that this is an interesting and probably positive wrinkle to the fan-entertainer relationship.
However, there is always a price to pay for closeness. (Remember the phrase about meeting your heroes?) With the media going full-tilt around the clock and the specialization of news organizations, we get revelations that we might not have in the past. Shaq's Twitter account is funny, but it's kind of sad to read about him stealing ideas for TV shows from teammates.
All this is merely to say: It's a shame about Reggie Bush. It's a shame that he essentially had to give back one of the most prestigious awards in the sport. It's a shame that there were suspicions about his time at USC since he was there. But the biggest shame of all is that the defending Super Bowl champs—the New Orleans Saints—are tainted, even if it's ever so slightly, by yet another negative news story about a sports star.
What's the solution? We refuse to live in blissful ignorance, and that's a good thing. But it feels like it keeps getting a little harder to watch sports, root for the same old kind of star, and read the same kind of story when they inevitably slip up.
V.19 No.36 |
The Daily Word 09.15.10: Twitter, Teabaggers, Tommy Lee Jones
The Senate will vote on repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell.
Students in Roswell are suspended for bringing doughnuts to school.
Caught on tape: suspect escapes from moving police car.
This guy is still hating on Obama, FROM BEYOND THE GRAAAAVE!
Miami hospital circumcises baby by mistake, I wonder if they're getting sued?
New research shows the ancient Greeks were the first to document a Halley's Comet sighting.
Taco Bell now has flatbread sandwiches.
Why are there so many unfunny people on the new Forbes list of the top-earning comedians.
NASA was to blame for the weird atmospheric symbols over Houston on 9/11. OR WERE THEY???
The ten creepiest fast food mascots are …
How to suck less at Halo: Reach.
Al Sharpton is getting a new Sunday morning talk show.
Weren't you just asking for a list of the 10 coolest G.I. Joe ninjas?
Only a jackass would buy this $178 cheese sandwich.
It's Tommy Lee Jones' birthday!
V.19 No.35 |
The Daily Word 9.3.2010: No sex for China, scamming the system, the voting habits of young people
Funds for flicks in New Mexico.
Kitties aren't supposed to live in walls.
Been scamming unemployment? Watch out.
A dude with crazy hair was arrested after his ex-gf's body was found yesterday.
Gypsy Fest! Damn, it's in Serbia.
Oh how Twitter grew.
Young'uns won't even pick a political party.
Oh NIKE? Why must thee be so dickish?
This Mr. Potato Head rules!
V.19 No.30 | 7/29/2010
The Daily Word 8.16.10: Craigslist Killer, Katie Holmes’ weird marriage, North Korea on Twitter.
The accused Craigslist killer escaped to hell.
“He was like, ‘ Where’s my food at?’”
World economy: a three way tie for last.
Be sure to follow North Korea on Twitter.
Hillary Duff married a hockey player and I can’t even think of a good joke about it.
Let he who has not sinned… I guess that means the Taliban.
Porn viruses infected a state laptop.
Another bear was caught in the Heights.
The Stabbing Burglar strikes.
It’s Robert Culp’s birthday!
Follow Alibideals on Twitter for great deals and free stuff.
Alibideals unleashed itself on Twitter today with the low-down on free Whataburgers tomorrow (Tuesday, August 3). Follow us for timely alerts about free stuff and astounding bargains and your life will be fun again.
V.19 No.26 |
Collective Shared Experiences (aka Sports)
Many moons ago, just after graduating from college, I lived, for a short time, in a little Ohio town called Akron. When I moved there, all anyone knew was that it had once been the rubber capital of the U.S. and there was a high school kid there who just might be the best basketball player since Michael Jordan.
By the time I left northeastern Ohio that seemingly sweet kid, who I often saw eating alone at local restaurants, was in the national spotlight, the subject of an endorsement bidding deal that was rumored to be worth about $92 million. He was also probably the only person in Akron with a Hummer.
Today that kid is an adult and has, as of right this second, 112,267 people following his Twitter account, waiting to find out where he'll play.
Stop, refresh, 112,544...112,722...
Thus far, all he's said, about an hour ago is, "Hello World, the Real King James is in the Building "Finally". My Brother @oneandonlycp3 gas'd me up to jump on board so I'm here. Haaaa"
Wow. If you're LeBron James you don't really have to say a word and everyone will wait with bated breath!
Back in Ohio, during that bidding war, one athletic company, which definitely didn't have the cash to compete put up billboards and ads on busses, only in Akron that were targeted solely to James. They said "What will you do with your millions?" and "So you want to be a superstar?"
Clearly...114,172...superstar status arrived.
V.19 No.24 | 6/17/2010
Internet geeks, which more and more look like a cross-section of society than the soda guzzling guy who lives in mom’s basement, got all atwitter earlier this week when the New York Times supposedly banned the word “tweet” when referring to the action of posting to Twitter. An earth-shattering controversy it’s not, but one that leads to an interesting debate (which I shall kindly spare you) about technological advances and the effect on language. By the way, New York Times writer Philip B. Corbett has responded to the drama writing, “I had suggested that outside of ornithological contexts, “tweet” should still be treated as colloquial rather than as standard English.”
Uh, 140 characters or less dude. Jeez.
Anyway, if you’re a bigger fan of the word “tweet” than, say, “ornithological,” you might just want to head to the New Mexico Tweetup. From 7 p.m. to a touch before midnight Saturday, June 19 at the Hyatt (330 Tiejeras NW).
Tweeters will gather and talk to each other in person, in full sentences (maybe even a paragraph or two), no less. Talk about an experiment in language. No longer will the format be: [snarky comment] RT @whoever [headline/snarky comment] [link].
Instead, it’s going to be, “Hey, did you see that article in the New York Times about I Can Has Cheezburger?”
“No, what did it say?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t read all of it.”
Or hopefully not.
Still not sure about the whole Twitter thing? Or maybe you’re just embarrassed by your ancient phone, which barely has texting capabilities, let alone being high tech enough to allow you to install a Tweet Deck app. Have no fear. Alibi.com will have a little widget installed on Saturday so you can keep up with all the action from the event.
For you tweeters, here’s the entirety of this article in readable (and retweetable) terms:
V.19 No.10 | 3/11/2010
Today in People Who Are Kind Of Famous Just Because
Conan O’Brien, who used to make fun of Twitter on his seven-month “Tonight Show” stint, recently joined the online pointlessness to much fanfare. As of this writing, Conan’s page has over 600,000 followers, accumulated in just under two weeks (his tagline for the page is “I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account”).
Until Friday, Conan himself followed no one (a metaphor? Yes!). That’s when he decided to choose someone at random and follow her. She is a 19-year-old named Sarah Killen, and all of the sudden she’s kind of famous. In just a few days, she’s received tons of loot for her upcoming wedding and I think an iMac.
Seems like a nice kid, but two things: why is a 19-year-old getting married? And she doesn’t seem to be aware that Conan no longer has a show.
Also, this is my favorite of O’Brien’s dozen or so tweets: I just had the fries at the McDonald's in Culver City near the Lady Foot Locker. SO AWESOME. If you can get there, ORDER THOSE FRIES.
V.18 No.42 | 10/15/2009
Farewell Craig Owens
According to Chiodos' Twitter page, lead singer Craig Owens has been kicked out of the band. Reasons for the departure were vague. "We will not be discussing the specific reasons that this needed to happen." Chiodos plans on continuing without Owens and promises to keep updates on a replacement singer.
And what is Owens left with? Well, he still plans on releasing a solo covers EP and wants to continue his side project Cinematic Sunrise. "I'm going through a tough time. your support means the world to me," Owens posted on his Twitter page, a few days ago.
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