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I sit in a plush chair. I am wearing a black neoprene glove. I retract the blade from a pistol-shaped utility knife. I hear the boss' son approaching me from behind. I hear the boss' order and wait for a bullet in the back of my head. I slump down in the chair and scream, twice, still waiting.

Blair Nodelman

Y-U-M

Imagine a barrel-sized vat filled to the brim with melted chocolate, swirling in an unending and hypnotic cycle. Luscious chocolate spins before your eyes, and your mouth begins to water. Continue picturing that, and add copious trays of chocolate-covered strawberries, truffles, candy molds in every shape imaginable and an abundance of delight. The phrase “like a kid in a candy store” resonated with me at Theobrama, as I stood in awe of all the delicious treats surrounding me.

Theobroma Chocolatier is Albuquerque’s own Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory. Located at Tramway and Montgomery, this quaint shop proffers all the goodness you could ever want. Their ingredients include bulk chocolate from the company founded by the guy who invented milk chocolate in Switzerland. It’s hard to beat that standard. For the past few weeks, I’ve reaped the benefits of having a friend working in the chocolate business. Every time I see him, I’m presented with some confectionary concoction he created that day at Theobroma. Needless to say, I’ve been beyond grateful.

It wasn’t until I visited the store that I really understood the mastery of the process. The chocolate here is virtually all handmade, from hand-dipped Oreos to caramel-filled chocolates, you can guarantee it was constructed by skilled hands. A personal favorite of mine is their signature Cortez Crunch bar, a concoction of layers of dark and milk chocolate, separated by the perfect amount of smooth caramel. It might actually be the best chocolate bar out there, and I’m not exaggerating in the slightest.

I’ve sampled boxes of truffles, chocolate and caramel-covered popcorn, chocolate-mint pecans, and so much more in the past month; I cannot even begin to tell you. Theobroma creates some serious sugar cravings and exceeds at fulfilling them. Chocolate, they say, is addictive and I may need rehab, but I simply refuse. Theobroma Chocolatier has me hooked and I never plan on giving them—or their chocolates—up.

At the Albuquerque Zoo, a peacock attacked a two year old kid.

Albuquerque's new recycling plant is almost open.

Rep. Steve Pearce wants to change the Waste Isolation Pilot Plant's mission.

Santa Fe's famous Bobcat Bite restaurant is losing it's current operators after a dispute with the property owner.

The Russians claim to have captured an American spy.

The Department of Justice seized a HUGE number of Associated Press phone records from April and May.

This man spent the night in a grocery store.

This man seems to have found a copy of Coca-Cola's secret recipe. It is now on eBay.

Apparently in Belize it is not uncommon for ancient Mayan pyramids and mounds to be bulldozed and used for road-building material.

Contrary to popular claims, piracy is not killing the entertainment industry.

Here's another Chinese Ghost Mall.

If you live in L.A. you can go see a 35mm screening of the excellent film Manson. Otherwise, enjoy the trailer.

The Mayor of Osaka, Japan claims enslaved prostitutes were necessary during WWII.

On this day in 1936, Bobby Darin was born. He was talented but sickly and just after Darin got his own T.V. show in 1973, he died.

I hope you got some good notes handy, Mr. President.

Sorry Monsanto, I didn't know these were your beans.

Just in case you want to know what's going on with Dr. Kermit Gosnell ...

Woman struck by stray bullet on Mother's Day "expected to be alright."

Steven Michael Quezada to speak at LULAC convention.

Wow, Brad Tate's got some record there.

Our local K-9's have got some good scent magic going on.

Debra Farinella, I think those deceased people would like their flowers back.

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PLANT

You'll need to stand in the middle of 2nd St. to see this

My good friend Pierre LaFarge rides his Mexican-Italian bicycle through the intersection of Copper and 2nd Street just about everyday, so when he says this Toynbee Tile was not there last week, I am inclined to agree. The message reads:

HOUSE OF HADES

ONE MAN VERSUS

AMERICAN MEDIA

IN SOCIETY '2011

The tag below the tile may indicate that this tile was laid down a couple years after being made (i.e. in 2011):

well its getting kind of late

cut [sic] its been fun!!!

The tile is in the northbound lane of 2nd Street just north of Copper:

PLANT

Watch out for that bus!

If you haven't seen "Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles," drop what you're doing and watch it -but first, be sure to reread this post about Albuquerque's other Toynbee Tile located at the intersection of Tijeras and 3rd Street.

• toynbee tile
• resurrect dead
• conspiracy
• toynbee tile location
• albuquerque

Most people know that essential oils are a natural way to make your hair smell pretty and your bathroom smell, well, not too bad. Did you also know high quality essential oils can be used to aid ailments ranging from headaches to sore muscles to bug bites? Join Kay Herrington of Body in Balance this tonight at Loma Colorado Library for an Introduction to Essential Oils. Kay is a natural living specialist who uses essential oils in her personal life as well as for massage and doula practices. In this class, you will learn the history and origin of essential oils, how they are distilled and processed, and from which plants they are derived. The class is free and no registration is required. Loma Colorado Public Library, Rio Rancho • Mon May 13 • 6 pm • FREE • View on Alibi calendar

• loma colorado public library
• community event

Wes Naman

I've watched Little Bobby Tucker for years, and I've listened very carefully. I don't mind attesting to the fact that his latest solo effort pushes him over the edge; it's equal parts concept album, dance album and confessional. It's all psychology and honesty. Each song involves a musical and historical depth and layering that works under the guise of simplicity to obscure the weird complexity Bobby creates. In each song, said complexity deals with a woman in his life, and women are always in his life; there are undertones of sex and wine. A little anger is let go, like a note floated down the river, but the overall stamp is, “It is what it is.” One line I had to listen to over and over again really sums up his positive spin on what some would consider negative experiences: “Don't give up so quickly on me.” Admission to the 21-and-over release party—also starring Venus Bogardus, Mr. and Mrs. Jones and Blackout Disciples—costs $5 and includes a copy of the CD. Launchpad • Fri May 10 • 9 pm • $5 • View on Alibi calendar

• launchpad
• bar
• music event

• Little Bobby... (black) [ Mon May 13 2013 12:08 PM ]
  

Project Dreamscape is a collaborative installation that takes the form of nine different rooms, each representing a stage in the dream life of Lance Flansberg, an accountant with a humdrum lifestyle. At night, Lance’s dreams come alive. The installation includes sound, video, black lights, diorama and a giant spider. Twelve high school students from the Albuquerque area created the elaborate artwork in conjunction with Santa Fe-based art collective Meow Wolf and the Lead with the Arts program. Fans of Meow Wolf’s major productions (such as 2011’s The Due Return, an immense inter-dimensional ship) will enjoy this new fully immersive installation. It’s truly the stuff of dreams. The opening event is free to the public. Come see this vision of Albuquerque’s youth and partake in Lance’s awe-inspiring and scary dreams. Project Dreamscape opens tonight at 6 p.m. at The Albuquerque Museum of Art and History (2000 Mountain NW) and will run through June 9. Albuquerque Museum of Art and History • Fri May 10 • 6-8 pm • View on Alibi calendar

• albuquerque museum of art and history
• art event

Prosecutor may seek death penalty for Cleveland kidnap suspect Ariel Castro for forcing the women he imprisoned to suffer miscarriages.

The ISS has sprung a leak.

Two brothers in Santa Fe convicted in real estate scam.

Woman working in a downtown Albuquerque hotel fights off naked attacker.

Dennis Rodman says he's planning a second trip to North Korea to try to use his budding friendship with Kim Jong-Un to free a jailed American.

There's no Spanish in tennis.

Police in Florida get a little help from a local gator in catching a fleeing man.

• ariel castro
• kidnappings
• north korea
• iss
• nasa
• kim jong-un

 

How could the Alibi get Burt’s listings wrong? Well, it was my fault. In my NyQuil induced day-coma, I managed to miss the fact that the listing was wrong for both the 10th and 11th and that the 12th, a freaking-awesome special show, was completely missing. Here’s the real deal, kids:

Thursday 09 • The Original Weekly Dance Party with JOSH BURG (Plus $1.00 PBR until midnight!)

Friday 10 • MAN HURLS HEDGEHOG • WILLY J AND THE STORYTELLERS • FART HOUSE

Saturday 11 • VERTIGO VENUS • THE HOWLIN’ WOLVES • TEXYLVANIA • DJ XIBABALOA

Sunday 12 • GASHCAT • GHOSTFOOT • THE ALCHEMIST

Wednesday 15 • ABQ's True Skool Underground Hip Hop • AKIL THE MC (JURASSIC 5) ARIANO • THOUGHTS ARIZEN