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News

The Daily Word in Incest, no one riding the bus and beer whispering

The Daily Word

New Mexico has the highest unemployment rate in the nation.

Bus ridership is down in Albuquerque.

The Forest Service is seeking funds to thin New Mexico's Forests.

Rapper B.o.B. is on a crusade to convince us the Earth is flat.

Scotland has rejected a proposition that would legalize incest.

Balloon Boy has a band!

Here's a list of some more bizarre laws in the United States.

Halifax, Canada has a "beer whisperer"

Coot is cute!

nature

Winter Ducks of the Rio Grande

As good a time as any to head to the bosque

I'm lucky enough to have had the opportunity to spend several mornings and evenings along the middle Rio Grande bosque counting songbirds and waterfowl. Along with the season's emblematic Sandhill Cranes, there is an abundance of birds that are easy to spot, easy to identify and which there is plenty of to see along Albuquerque's sliver of the mighty river.

Among these, perhaps the most common is the Mallard Duck. Both males and females- usually mated at this point in the year- swim through the acqueias and the river proper. These ducks are endemic the whole world through and the males- with a glossy green head and shades of brown feathers down their wings, backs and chests- are easy to spot. More often than not, if you spot a male, there will be a better camouflaged female nearby.

The Gadwall Duck- nearly the size of the Mallard, but with more understated coloration and a black bill- is also easy to find in the river this winter. These ducks are nearly as widespread as the Mallard due to their extreme adaptability. They've even been known to snatch food from the beak of other diving ducks.

Looking for something even more adorable? The Coot- technically part of the Rail family- is dark, petite and easy to spot in open water. These birds are black throughout the body, but have a light, even white colored bill, and sometimes show white on the tail. Making them even more endearing, coots have small, rounded wings and are weak fliers, despite their ability to cover large distances when necessary.

Also keep an eye out for the striking Wigeon, too. These birds breed farther north and make their way down to Albuquerque during the winter season. Males are colorful, with a cream colored forehead and jade green highlights while females are grayish overall. I've spotted just one along the Rio Grande this winter, but these are increasingly abundant.

Also found along the river: dog prints, coyote prints, the spine of a large mammal. Winter time is just as wonderful to test the waters of the Rio Grande, particularly when we have such an abundance of beautiful birds floating by for the season.

School Daze

We've been talking a lot about the educational system here at the Alibi recently, which you can read more about in the latest issue that's available 'til Jan. 27 (get it while you can). I’m going to recount some of my best and worst educational experiences. My time in the public (and briefly private-ish) educational system was a wild ride, and within most of my memory, not a good one. Let’s see why!

When I was in second grade I was sexually harassed by a boy in my class. Over the school year he gathered other boys to chase me and harass me. When I would complain to teachers they would tell me something like, “Oh he just likes you!” or “Boys will be boys. Ignore him and he’ll stop.” My best friend was the only person who took me seriously. She would chase him and threaten him back, which would stop them for a while, but since she was in the grade above me, she couldn’t always be there. I started dissociating around this time.

In third grade I was placed in the same class as my harasser again, even though I had made many complaints about his behavior. I remember I cried all night the day before classes started because I was so afraid to be in the same space with him again. My mom fought most of the year trying to get the school administration to change their decision but they said all the other classes were full. Because I was in the same class as this kid again, I was nervous and distracted all the time. My teacher would yell at me a lot for a few reasons: I didn’t pay attention, I collected rocks from the playground (which I guess was stealing school property) and because I had a hard time doing math.

Nothing particularly notable happened until middle school (or maybe it did and I just can’t remember because of the dissociation junk). One of my best friends who had an aptitude for math was yelled at by our math teacher because he didn’t show his work. He explained that he didn’t show his work because he could do it all in his head and out teacher said he couldn’t and was probably cheating.

Our humanities teacher, on the other hand, was very funny and somewhat imperious (though, I suppose most adults are at that age). He encouraged me to write like there was no tomorrow. It was his last year teaching at our school, so at the end of the year I wrote him a poem about how I would miss him and how he really helped me and he cried. We both were proud.

My seventh grade science teacher was absolutely ridiculous. I asked her a question about some type of rock and she actually responded, “Because God made it that way, sweetie.”

My eighth grade history teacher was also very encouraging to me as a writer. For a paper about an event during the American Revolution, I wrote it how I thought a journalist during that time would write it, and after I read it to the class she asked me if I plagiarized it. She didn’t mean it to be insulting (though I was offended, cuz I write gr8) she was just incredibly surprised that a young teenager could write like that so convincingly.

At the beginning of high school I went to a charter school. During the first semester, while my humanities teacher was giving a lecture, I raised my hand because I had a question (like ya do), and then she stopped her lecture and yelled at me for interrupting her.

By the time tenth grade began, I started going to a public school. My anxiety and depression were the worst I had ever experienced in my life at that point (within memory). Thankfully all of my teachers were incredibly kind and eager to teach.

My class schedule was a bit unusual because I went to a school with a different curriculum the year before. I was kind of behind in science (I had taken the class that juniors took at that school, but I hadn’t taken what freshmen took) and ahead in history. So in my science class I was with a lot of kids who had failed it many times. The kid who sat behind me tried to feel me up one day and the teacher didn’t even write him up. Another kid would bother me constantly about dating him which made me extremely uncomfortable. The teacher was nice but he didn’t protect me, which I resent.

My history teacher was completely different. She was lively, intelligent and treated her students how they treated her. She taught me to be studious, respect myself and to stand up for myself. I felt safe in her classroom.
My English teacher was hilarious, kind and patient. I felt like I could be myself around him and I felt safe in his classroom, too. He taught me to be critical and seriously inquire about things and to be confident about my writing and my awkwardness.

By the time eleventh grade started, the school system (and therefore a lot of teachers) began to rely heavily on technology. I remember in one class in particular—my English class—if the computer didn’t work for some reason, we weren’t going to be taught that day. This forced technological shift was particularly difficult for me because I’ve always learned best by actually doing something, not reading about doing things or being told how to.

My first English class in college didn’t go well. My teacher talked to everyone like we were children and was noticeably nicer to the guys in class. Once she gave me a paper back telling me to make the exact corrections that she made and I would get an A. I did what she said and got a D on the paper.

My second English class was a completely different experience. My teacher was incredibly kind, exceptionally encouraging and inspirational. It was her last semester teaching, which is a shame because I wanted to take more or her classes.

I ended up giving up on college because—much like the forced technological shift I experienced my junior year—it was too much reading about doing things and not enough doing for me. Regardless of my bad experiences, I’m extremely grateful for the educational opportunities I’ve had because at the end of the day, I learned something.

Martin Droeshout - Beinecke Rare Book & Manuscript Library, Yale University

Event Horizon

The Most Expensive Book in the World

Wednesday, Jan 27: What Is the First Folio Anyway, and Why Should We Care?

Shakespeare's first folio is on exhibit at the New Mexico Museum of Art for the month of February.

news

The Daily Word in Pets, Politicians and Pro Football

The Daily Word

Eastside animal shelter is offering free microchips for 100 pets, today 11am-1pm first come, first serve.

The cats in Albuquerque's first cat cafe will be up for adoption.

It’s about time. A law is being proposed to require all school employees to pass a background check.

J.K. Rowling strikes again.

They did the thing with the ball! Hurray sports! Broncos and Panthers heading to the Superbowl.

Hawaii politician reaches out to Tinder to get the vote. Things do not work out as planned.

#Blizzard2016 has brought us snow swimming.

The Daily Word in Genius, Roller Skates and Trump on Acid

The Daily Word

Self-defense shootings ("justifiable homicides") almost doubled in ABQ last year. A staggering 8! I recommend locking your doors and being distrustful of anyone outside of your immediate family.

Some dummies go to trial after breaking off King Tut's beard and trying to glue it back on.

Author Eric Weiner (no relation) says if you want to make a genius, you need a city with lots of bars and coffee houses, but not too many parents. Oh. And earth-shattering catastrophes help, too.

Weather Warning: X-Files premieres tonight after more than a decade. Nerds prepare for loss of control over all bodily functions. Wear galoshes.

Roller skating is a thing in ABQ once more. It's good to know that junior-high kids will have a place to make out.

There's one thing that keeps me up at night, nursing my regret: I've never been to a Donald Trump rally on acid. Thank you, internet.

Psychiatrists at Columbia University suggest that schizophrenia can be diagnosed earlier by listening to a patient's use of language.

Authorities scramble to rescue two separate groups of lost hikers in the Sandias. Our thoughts go with them.

Technology and Its Discontents

My terrifying nightmare about segmented file transfer on floppy disks

Last night I had a dream that man in a mask like the one in Zardoz ordered me to retrieve the data from a mysterious computer kept deep in a lightless cavern. The computer is connected via RF modulator to a CRT television set tuned to channel 3. The hard drive, if you want to call it that, consists of two massive bays where removable cartridges about the size of a stack of copy paper are inserted. The keyboard is a loud, clacky one with mechanical switches. There is no mouse.

News

The Daily Word in Hospital Fines and Yeti Wingmen

The Daily Word

What Isleta's newly reacquired land means for its community.

Some New Mexico hospitals are being fined over safety concerns.

APD is looking for a suspect involved in a stabbing downtown last night.

The Sprint call center in Rio Rancho is closing, costing the city almost 400 jobs.

City Councillor Isaac Benton wants the city to buy 60 acres of land around the Petroglyph National Monument.

Evidence for using cannabis to treat epileptic seizures continues to grow.

Sasquatches make great wingmen. Given the number of sasquatches I know and the low rate at which I get laid, I think there may be some validity there.

Xandert/ Morguefile

Literature

Poetic Saturdays

Emo Haiku

Hide your heart behind your swoopy bangs.

news

APD Has an Operations Plan in Place!

Man will judge man in a screening process by which trained man ascertains the sobriety of any and all men, regardless of race gender creed or smell

.... Actually, you may be judged by your smell as this can be a primary indicator of intoxication. Or you just worked a shift behind the bar at Anodyne where a girl's hair, thanks to the high reach up to the bottles shelf—oh, nice ass, too—can end up more combustible than that orgy in Satyricon. This will make you appear drunk when really you smell like alcohol because it was dripping all over your hair every time someone ordered a fucking top-shelf Rum and Coke.

As always, the authoritIes want you to know the general neighborhood where the checkpoint will be however, Weekly Alibi cannot divulge the exact location. Somewhere in the vicinity of Walmart on San Mateo and the Long John Sliver's on Central APD will be conducting a sobriety checkpoint.

Avoid the cuffs and take advantage of the ever-increasing stable of ride services. By simply starting your night with a ride from one of Albuquerque's taxi services or, if you're under thirty, Uber. Unfortunately, AAA's Tipsy Tow service appears to have been discontinued in Albuquerque, but Albuquerque Cab does offer a free ride home (10pm-2am, Fri & Sat) through their Tavern Taxi service.

Tavern Taxi: (505)-999-1400
ABQ CAB: (505)-883-4888
Yellow/Checker Cab: (505)-247-8888
Green Cab: (505)-243-6800

Today's Events

Hamlet at Vortex Theatre

Grey Blanco and Caroline Graham
Christy Lopez

Arguably Shakespeare’s most famous play, Hamlet is among the most powerful and influential tragedies in English literature.

Flamenco del Pueblo Viejo presents Luz • flamenco at Outpost Performance Space

APS Clothing Drive at Flying Star Café

More Recommended Events ››
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