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3 MILLION PEOPLE ATTENDED OBAMA’S INAUGURATION & ONLY 14 OF THEM MISSED WORK!
I would like to share an experience with all of you. It has to do with drinking and driving. As you know some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was out for dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much vino and knowing full well that I was wasted I did something I've never done before. Believe it or not I took a bus home. Yes a bus! I arrived home safely and without incident. This was really a surprise to me since I have never driven a bus before.
Today, police found an unidentified man's body in a park. They describe him as having a Beer Belly, Saggy Balls, Wrinkly Ass and a Small Dick. I was just checking to make sure that you are okay. Today, police found an unidentified man's body in a park. They describe him as having a Beer Belly, Saggy Balls, Wrinkly Ass and a Small Dick. I was just checking to make sure that you are okay. Re: Nude Runner.
Sarcasm noted and appreciated. (yawn)
*Nude Runner* A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!' 'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!' 'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!' So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. Do you always run in the nude?' one asked. 'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!' Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?' 'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!' Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?' 'Nope...just when it's raining.'
Tom was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted.
Most of us have read the so-called comparisons of Lincoln and Kennedy, but did you ever consider the relationship between Obama and Lincoln? Parallels of Abraham Lincoln and Barack Hussein Obama: 1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration. Obama used the same Bible. 2. Lincoln came from Illinois. Obama comes from Illinois. 3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature. Obama served in the Illinois Legislature. 4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President. Obama had very little experience before becoming President. 5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration. Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration. 6. Lincoln was a skinny lawyer. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 7. Lincoln was a Republican. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 8. Lincoln was in the United States military. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 9. Lincoln believed in everyone carrying their own weight. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 10. Lincoln did not waste taxpayers' money on personal enjoyments. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 11. Lincoln was highly respected. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 12. Lincoln was born in the United States. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 13. Lincoln was honest, so honest he was called Honest Abe. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 14. Lincoln saved the United States. Obama is a skinny lawyer.
I thank yer needle's stuck, bubba. I thank yer needle's stuck, bubba.
A man goes into a bar with a cat sitting on his head. The barman pulls him a pint and says, "Look I don't know if you know it but there's a cat sitting on your head." "What of it?" asks the man. "I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday." "But today's Tuesday," replies the barman. "Oh God. Is it?" says the man. "I must look stupid." | 
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Why are we paying sales tax in New Mexico, when we DON'T have sales tax? I would like more people to understand what Gross Receipts Tax IS! The law states, that it is a tax for the privilege of doing business in New Mexico. AND, it is the responsibility of the BUSINESS OWNER to pay the tax, and NOT THE CONSUMER! If a business owner makes $10,000 for the month, he pays a percentage of that amount, (Gross Receipts) to the state as a tax for doing business in this state. Now,,,,,WHY would he charge you,the consumer, a tax on top of that? He THEN has to send the state YOUR tax, PLUS the tax he owes on the $10,000 he made! ANY business owner KNOWS full well, that if you refuse to pay the tax he adds on to your bill, there's nothing he can do to make you pay it, because we DON'T have sales tax in New Mexico, and the tax is his responsibility!!! What I'd like to know, is how can we get someone to work on this, to make the public aware of the fact that they DON'T HAVE TO PAY the sales tax? We need to have some kind of a "NO SALES TAX" card for the public to carry, to show to businesses, with the law printed right on it. NOTHING YOU BUY HAS TO HAVE SALES TAX ADDED TO IT! How much would we all save by not having to pay this tax? AND,,,,,WHY is what we've paid, not deductable??? Let's get this going. Help me if you can, please. We're wasting our money! Thanks for reading.