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permalink: http://alibi.com/blog/articles.html?desired_user=jerry
CommentsRe: Film Review: Century-old sci-fi/fantasy comes to life in John Carter
I defy anyone to explain the plot of this film or the motivations of its characters. For the record, the shape-shifting, war-mongering "Therns" are not in the source material. There are Therns, but they aren't these dumb bald dudes with the blue energy web whatsis doing their secret plot whatever for no particular reason. For a film allegedly made by Burroughs fans, they blew it.
This is funnier because he doesn't try to fix it. He tries to destroy it.
The drastic rewrite posited by that ubernerd might have made for a less shitty and incoherent story (low-hanging fruit indeed), but there is no fixing a film that has no soul. The only movie WORSE than TPM is the savage butchering of the excellent "Avatar" series as the unwatchably awful The Last Airbender. Maybe M. Night and George L. should team up to make a film that will destroy the world. I believe they could do it.
... I always thought the Burqueño in question was literally talking about Coca-Cola. Nice post there, beaslebitten.
According to that crazy map. Must be the Sephardic Jewish influence.
Tough dried-out chicken fried steak is not the norm. I recommend the sausage gravy, the fried fish, the meatloaf and any egg dishes. The only sad thing about eating here is seeing all the obese and about-to-croak customers who have been gobbling way too much of this rich, heavy food for too many years. Excess After a meal here, take a vigorous hike in the mountains and you should be OK.
"You basically got this stalker vampire who's basically abusing this low self-esteem child, and that is hailed as a great image of love and respect." Awesome! Re: The Daily Word in Mitt wins Florida, Colbert raises more than Palin and New Mexico's newest gang
He is so ready to smack down the fanboys. But he knew what he was doing when he worked for hire at DC. Sadly, those characters he created are not his.
 OMG, I lost track of the irreconcilably stupid plot points in the first 10 minutes, starting with the failure of the lab workers to notice that their star test chimp was pregnant. Whoops. Add to that bog-standard blockbuster soundtrack (characterized by nonstop bombastic music cues), tediously physics-defying CGI and James Franco as the stupidest scientist ever. Also, I am pretty sure Conquest of the POTA (1972) already explained how the ape planet happened. Dumb as it was, it was smarter than this. Curse you, O'Learrrrrrrrry! However, I do agree, Drive kicked ass.
According to Instantwatcher.com. Amazing that Albuquerque buzz could ripple through the Internet to cause that, but here's the proof.  | 
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