It’s September 11.

Wrestler Jerry Lawler collapses.

Attack of the Bun Stabber.

Scientology is mad at Vanity Fair.

Night of the Monkey Smuggler.

Iran unveils the Meshkat missile.

Everybody loves funny pictures.

I repeat, everybody loves funny pictures.

These are real sci fi children’s books. Not really.

Here’s a gentleman they say chased some kids with a chainsaw right here in town.

I’m a big fan of little turtles and promise not to touch my mouth.

Happy Birthday Virginia Madsen.

• One of those WTF pictures is at the SUB at UNM (genericabqfema​​le) [ Tue Sep 11 2012 11:22 AM ]
  

An heir to the Red Bull fortune is accused of a fatal hit and run.

Did the Church of Scientology audition girlfriends for Tom Cruise?

Old Navy needs a new proofreader.

An Iowa air show disaster was caught on tape.

The Obama White House brews beer.

Here are some “perfectly timed” photos.

Here is some interesting song trivia.

Here’s what happens when you try to kick a cop.

Weaponize your life with these fun projects.

Keanu is sad.

This map of the Fantasy World can’t possibly be accurate.

Albuquerque is going to host a conference on sex offender issues.

Tractor won the fight for growlers in Nob Hill.

Russ Sype for President.

Happy birthday, Beyonce.

• Weaponize your life!? (BrokenArrow) [ Wed Sep 5 2012 1:42 PM ]
  
• Stupid Amendments! (sloppy) [ Thu Sep 6 2012 9:55 AM ]
  

Anything is possible in the year of the Poodle Moth.

Bill Nye prefers science.

Prince Harry’s clothes are removable.

A hilarious bigfoot joke took a tragic turn. As oft they do.

A man killed 70,000 chickens. But it could have been an accident.

It’s never funny to joke about killing Mitt Romney.

Marijuana can permanently lower your IQ. It can also make the word “permanently” echo permanently in your mind. “Permanently… permanently…”

In other stoner news, this kid thought his mom was making him wear a sign as punishment. She said she was thinking about it.

Not all celebrities look like they have good breath, Russell Brand.

Tom Hanks’ PR people try desparately to make him appear human.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

A shot was fired at Expo New Mexico. Some people get nervous when the words “fired” and “Expo New Mexico” are used in the same sentence.

Jeremy Brooks and Justin Rael didn’t think they’d end up in the news. But they did.

Happy birthday, Gates McFadden.

• Camo kills! (BrokenArrow) [ Tue Aug 28 2012 12:55 PM ]
  

TJ Trout displays a shart-inducing shark.

For several million years, 94 Rock’s TJ Trout ruled the radio airwaves with razor sharp teeth, abrasive skin and the ability to swim while sleeping. I sat in on his show a few times. It probably sounded like fun in Radio Land, but TJ was deadly serious in the control room and could shoot a panic-inducing glare, even while making laughter noises.

Last December TJ escaped Albuquerque in a flurry of shark shit and classic rock pheasant feathers. He told the Alibi he was going to do some fishing, and we’re happy to provide photographic evidence that he’s made good on his threat. We miss you, TJ.

TJ writes, “Post the shark pic! And tell everyone I miss 'em!” Ok, so it’s not a trout.

• Hi TJ! (faun lebowitz) [ Wed Aug 22 2012 4:44 PM ]
  

Johnny Tapia died.

Justin Bieber allegedly attacked a paparazzo.

Obama makes a Memorial Day speech.

Meet the new Wagon Tongue Fire.

Is this man the Alphabet Murderer?

The Pope’s butler is in trouble.

Make cool things out of pallets.

An Albuquerque man can cross blazing jeep crash off his list.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Urlacher.

And now, Beer Cows.

Yowie noises were recorded. (Caution: link does not contain yowie noises.)

Some people are old.

Happy birthday Ashley Laurence.

You can buy the dried blood residue of Ronald Reagan.

A guy jumped off Niagra Falls and lived.

A major D.C. Comics superhero is going to reveal that he is gay. But only when he’s in his costume.

Wait. I thought I had the world’s smallest artificial heart.

Only Uncle Owen.

Jaden Smith talked about aliens with Obama.

How to make your friends like you.

Ancient Greeks were really complicated.

It’s a slow news day when a kid playing with a toy gun makes headlines.

Something about an alligator.

A downtown bouncer got in Facebook trouble.

Happy Birthday Richard Benjamin.

 

Yesterday I took this photo of the solar eclipse from the muddy, needle-strewn parking lot of the International Cryptozoology Museum, but it wasn’t until later, amid much dubious wood-knocking from celebrity scat monger Loren “Fakey Footprint” Coleman, that I noticed a startling figure in the foreground. Is it a hairy little man? Is it a hobo looking for a kind hearted lady to feed him a hot meal? Or is it the legendary Corn Ape? You decide!

• no way (woodshed) [ Tue May 22 2012 10:10 AM ]
  
• Don't stare too long at the yeti (Nick Brown) [ Tue May 22 2012 12:02 PM ]
  

[link]

Actor George Lindsey, who played Goober on “The Andy Griffith Show,” passed away Sunday morning at the age of 83 as the result of a deadly sickness. Lindsey originally lost the role of Gomer Pyle to Jim Nabors but went on to play Goober, a character who was distinguishable from Gomer Pyle only by his crown-shaped Jughead hat, a fact which caused incalculable frustration for children of the Baby Boom. He was by all accounts a kind and thoughtful man with a quick wit where matters of the toilet were concerned. Goober was preceded in death by Barney, Aunt Bee and many others. Rest in peace, scary little Mayberry man.

• goober/gomer (krillin29) [ Mon May 7 2012 1:43 PM ]
  
• also: (krillin29) [ Mon May 7 2012 1:53 PM ]
  

 

Crackpot Hollywood has-been William Devane wants me to buy gold as a hedge against impending global collapse. He also loves to run his fingers through piles of gold coins like an evil cartoon king in the treasure room. It’s troublesome to think how dangerously gold crazy he might become. I imagine him burying chests of gold in his back yard so Randy Quaid can’t get them. All transactions not satisfied in pure gold should expect a hearty “Good day to you sir” from veteran actor William Devane. Maybe he’s just acting, I dunno. He sure seems to like gold.

More Videos

• Dude. (rolloshed) [ Thu Apr 26 2012 9:20 PM ]
  
• For her protection. (Mayor McCheese) [ Fri Apr 27 2012 11:49 AM ]
  

George Zimmerman was released on bail.

Robin Gibb woke up from his coma-a-a.

Sarkozy faces a run-off election.

Windy City L tracks vanquished a urinating Hoosier.

What would you pay for a female gladiator statue?

Prince of Persia’s source code was rescued. Whew.

Viva Wal-Mart.

Learn why even male politicians don’t have beards.

I simply must watch Ghostwatch.

Babies. How quickly they grow.

The lost fairytale of the Turnip Princess was discovered just not in time for my childhood.

Bigfoot walked by while I was jumping my scooter over a skateboard. Dude.

A 95-year-old driver smashed his car into the Los Alamos McDonald’s.

Albuquerque kids Valoree Davis and Dennis Pelier are missing.

Happy birthday, Lee Majors.

• Beards (Madmammajamma) [ Tue Apr 24 2012 11:39 AM ]