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The Daily Word in rocket attacks, getting high with Obama and exploding mailboxes

The Daily Word

Good morning, it's July 9,

and the lights are out in parts of Albuquerque,

the jails are abusive in Truth or Consequences,

the mailboxes are exploding in the Heights,

and the family of a man who was killed in Albuquerque by US Marshals have released his name to the press.

Meanwhile,

rockets are flying and tanks are rolling in Israel/Palestine,

the former mayor of New Orleans is going to prison,

a Google exec found that his "mutually beneficial arrangement'" wasn't so beneficial when the call girl administered a fatal dose of heroin

your kids are still watching too much TV,

and no, Barack Obama would not like to get high with you, sir.

Alibi Picks

Here, Piggy, Piggy: 11th Annual Pork & Brew BBQ State Championship

Last weekend, the geeks had their annual "prom" at Albuquerque Comic Expo. This weekend, the carnivores will reign supreme at the 11th annual Pork & Brew BBQ State Championship, a three-day celebration of all things meaty and grilled. There will be beer, wine tastings, eating contests and samples galore, and if you don't go through an entire case of wetwipes by the end of the first day, you're doing it wrong. The event starts tomorrow and continues on Saturday, July 5, from 11am to 8pm both days, and Sunday, July 6, from 11am to 5pm. Tickets range from $20-$60. Santa Ana Star Center, Rio Rancho • Fri Jul 4 • 11am-8pm • $20-$60 • View on Alibi calendar

news

The Daily Word in the ArtBar, Bigfoot and OMG raccoons

The Daily Word

It's Wednesday, July 2,

and ArtBar by Catylyst Club will be closing its doors due to problems with the State Alcohol and Firearms department,

Joline Gutierrez Krueger of the Journal is freaking out about raccoons,

and Gary Johnson is finally president! Of a marijuana cough drop company.

Meanwhile,

an analysis of several Bigfoot hair samples suggests that legendary creature is some kind of wolf/ cow/raccoon/bear hybrid,

Target is asking that people please stop bringing huge guns into their stores,

whereas the state of Georgia says it's okay for you to bring guns wherever you want! Including bars, government buildings and airports,

and in a revelation straight from my nightmares, plants can hear themselves being eaten.

news

The Daily Word in victim shaming, fake penises and foiled school shootings

The Daily Word

Good morning! It's Wednesday, June 25,

and the attorney representing a UNM football player who was accused of rape has publicly released a cell phone video showing his client and the alleged victim "in numerous and different sexual positions,"

Taos is still wrestling with whether or not to rename Kit Carson park after something other than the man in charge of the "Long Walk" where thousands of Navajos were forcibly relocated from their homelands,

a group of anti-abortion protestors think that Gov. Martinez isn't "pro-life" enough,

and an Albuquerque man tried and failed to use a fake penis called "the Whizzinator" to pass a drug test.

Meanwhile

a teenager who planned an attack on his school involving multiple guns, bombs and molotov cocktails thinks he might be mentally ill,

the Supreme Court ruled that police need a warrant to search your cell phone,

and a man in Queens walked into a McDonald's with a knife sticking out of his back. "He was cool and calm," said his friend.

Have a great day!

news

The Daily Word in fire, a haunted VHS and Redskin racism

The Daily Word

Good morning, it's Wednesday, June 18,

and the Assayii Lake Fire is continuing to spread,

a memorial for Nancy Myers, a woman who was killed at a homeless encampment by a hit-and-run driver on June 9th, will be held this Friday at 6pm at the Albuquerque Rescue Mission courtyard (525 Second SW),

and one New Mexico gubernatorial campaign has been caught lying in emails, and the other apparently doesn't like "fat girls" in bikinis,

Meanwhile,

the US Patent Office has revoked the Redskins' trademarks because they are "disparaging to Native Americans,"

Youtube will soon begin blocking music videos from independent labels,

and a London bus stop is being haunted by a VHS copy of Hell Raiser.

Have a great day!

Alibi Picks

A Tea-rrific Journey

via Wikimedia

In ye olden days, Western adventurers like Marco Polo had to mount up on camelback and journey far to the East if they wanted to learn more about the tea culture of China and how the leaf made its long way back to Europe. But you, you lucky 21st century human, only have to plonk down a handful of bills and journey to the Fragrant Leaf Tea Boutique in Nob Hill (3207 Silver SE) to do the same. And instead of saddle sores, you'll get a three course afternoon tea service, with samosas and Afghani meatballs among other delights, while attending a mini-lecture entitled "The Traveling Tea LeafJourney to the West." That, my friends, is progress. This all happens on Sunday, June 15. The tea tastings are scheduled for 1pm and 4pm, cost $33, and prior registration is required to attend. No walk-ins. Fragrant Leaf Tea Boutique • Sun Jun 15 • 1-2:30pm • $33 • ALL-AGES! • View on Alibi calendar

news

The Daily Word in Flashdancing, pure evil and also a goat

The Daily Word

Good morning, it's Wednesday, June 11,

and let's take a moment to remember the famous "Flashdancer of Albuquerque Academy,"

before we settle into the grim business of keeping our eyes peeled for a black or green small pickup truck with front end damage

that was probably involved in the deadly "hit-and-run" that killed one pedestrian and injured three others on Monday morning at an encampment of homeless people on Iron and 1st,

that was almost certainly an act of hatred and malice.

Usually, I put in a bunch of other stories here too

today I'm just too mad about this to give it much effort

but, still, here are some pictures of Prince Harry petting an official military goat.

news

The Daily Word in Gary King, Jonah Hill and a billion grasshoppers

The Daily Word

Good morning. It's Wednesday, June 4,

and Gary King is your new Democratic candidate for Governor,

the University of New Mexico is making grumpy faces about Professor (and Alibi correspondent) David Correia's recent arrest for protesting APD's pro-shooting policies,

and grasshoppers continue to swarm in such numbers around Albuquerque that the cloud is registering on the National Weather Service's Doppler radar "extending like a thick blanket over a mile into the atmosphere."

Meanwhile, the lawyer for one of two pre-teen girls who were arrested for trying to murder their friend in order to summon an Internet meme, thinks his client may need a mental health evaluation,

Jonah Hill is really, really sorry for calling a photographer a "faggot,"

yesterday was "Robocop Day" in Detroit,

and a Japanese "alternative scientist" claims that yelling insults at rice will make it rot faster.

Have a great day!

news

The Daily Word in Maya Angelou, Mr. G. the goat and why you're probably going to get dementia

The Daily Word

Good afternoon, it's Wednesday, May 28

and Western Albuquerque Land Holdings have proposed a 13,700 acre development on ABQ's Westside,

Santa Fe police would like to talk to a man who broke into a home and watched two women having sex before the women noticed and pushed him out the door,

and Bernalillo County residents are facing long 911 response times while dispatchers try to figure out whether the caller is in State, County or City territory.

Meanwhile,

everyone's favorite poet Maya Angelou died,

a goat named Mr. G. became best friends with a burro named Jellybean,

and a new study suggests that being cynical can make you more susceptible to dementia.

news

The Daily Word in the next APD shooting (contest), cat harrasment and YODO

The Daily Word

Good morning, it's May 21, 2014,

and the NRA will hold a shooting contest for Albuquerque police in September. “It is an economic boost for the city and a source of pride for us,” police spokeswoman Janet Blair said, without a trace of irony,

an ex-policewoman is accused of harassing her neighbor by having 12 cats,

and a local funeral home would like to remind you that YODO.

Meanwhile, the Obama administration will soon tell us a little more about how they decide which Americans to kill with drones,

uncovered memos from the 60s show that the US government's official stance on LGBT employees used to be "Once a homo, always a homo,"

actor Michael Jace, from the TV show 'The Shield,' shot and killed his wife,

over 100 "RATers" were arrested for remotely spying on computer users through their webcams,

and game show host Pat Sajak thinks that people who believe in climate change are racists.

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