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GUARANTEED FRESH as of Friday May 17, 2013 at 9:43 am Times and listings are for Friday 5/17 through Thursday 5/23

Battleship

[ IMDB ] [ view trailer ]

No longer hindered by the burden of stories, plots or fancy-schmancy "ideas," Hollywood decides to make a movie based on a board game. Boom! You know, the one in which people call out numbers and place pegs on a small grid? Wham! Liam Neeson plays an admiral who fights space aliens with the help of assorted singers (Rihanna), models (Brooklyn Decker) and sexy actors (Taylor Kitsch). Ka-blam! Amazingly, it's louder, faster and dumber than a Transformers movie. Ker-splash! To quote anyone who's ever played the game ... "Miss!" 131 minutes PG-13.

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Battleship