Rowdy’s Dream Blog #337: Hooked by a Fisherman
I am sitting on a rocky cliff in a canyon between two streets with my boss, C, and some other guys. C wants to hike in the bigger mountains. As we leave, my other boss, E, tells me about the blood in his stool. I beg him to try psyllium.
On our way, we stop in a split-level Walgreens so I can show my friend, R, the protein powder. She tries a sample spoonful of cream-of-wheat from a green desert dish.
We then proceed east on a path up a hill near my childhood home. Two guys are practicing fly fishing in their yard. I am hooked in the back of my black fleece jacket.
"Give me back my fishing arm!" the guy says. I unhook. Now they both have their hooks in C.
"Are you going to club him too?" I ask.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #336: The Walking Stick Turns Into a Naked Lady
G has placed a large walking-stick bug in our terrarium with a juniper branch—something it can't eat. I wake from a nap to find that the bug has transformed into a tiny, blonde naked woman drowning in the water dish, which has been filled to the brim.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #335: Photographing an Eagle with a Camera Made of Cheese
I am on the back porch of my childhood home. A large Mexican gray eagle lands on my shoulder and then jumps to the ground. I coax him back up and tell G to go get my camera. She returns but can't seem to work it. I take it from her angrily. It has become camera parts imbedded in yellow cheese. I try anyway to hold it at arm's length and get a shot.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #334: An Automotive Obstacle Course
I am trying to leave town in my truck. People have placed two garbage cans as obstacles in the road and have dug a series of holes as part of a contest. I swerve and spin to avoid them but finally must come to a stop. It is impossible to get out of town. Everyone has gone mad, making their own barrier contests.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #333: Trouble at the Museum
I arrive at a museum. G and my family go in ahead of me. I decide to buy the $10 ticket instead of the $15 one. I ask my sister if she's seen G. She tells me instead about some great surprise our mother has found. I walk down a hallway on the third level. I grab hold of a portal pillar made of mud and stone and peer down into the courtyard below. Under wooden vegas covered with vines I see some sheep grazing. The partition I'm holding crumbles and falls. I close my eyes and wait for the crash but hear only silence. I stroll away nonchalantly.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #332: Dirt for Sale
G has ordered some dirt. She is not home. A couple arrives in a white station wagon. They park in our garage. The guy has dirt piled on a blue blanket in the back seat and some more on top of the sun visors. They want $25. He pulls the dirt blanket out onto our front lawn. I write him a check made out to 'Country-Tried', and worry that G will say we got screwed.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #331: Must See TV
A new reality show has a man, woman and child, naked with soap, pretending to shower without water.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #330: A Senseless Execution
M faces her senseless execution stoically. I am forced to participate. Infuriated, I punch the fat, shamed executioner in the belly. My arm recoils like a spring.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #329: Canyon of the Rag Man
I climb through narrow sandstone notch canyons and out into a steeply sloping, red-dirt valley that was formed by a peasant revolt ages ago. I help a crazy rag-man to find the terminus for a bundle of blue, cat-5 cables. It turns out to be a cash register operated by John Travolta, who is dressed in wizard garb.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #328: A Weird Meditation Building
G's meditation building: A free-standing, round stucco building in the backyard garden of our new home. A Japanese-style wooden beam arch frames the entryway. Two glowing globe lamps slide across top of the arch on a rope pulley: If these have been separated then someone is inside meditating. Inside, the floor plan is divided into concentric circles. There are four outer meditation rooms, one for each compass direction. An enormous skylight illuminates the open, vaulted ceiling. A circular hallway separates the main center room, which is a large, black-tiled pool, from the meditation rooms. The hallway is lined, floor to ceiling, with walnut bookshelves filled with books and pictures of yogis and saints. A boom box plays ethereal music.