Our sophisticated randomizing technology.


Ty Takes a Meal


The air is thick with excitement. Two weeks of intense bad-photo guessing has resulted in two very skilled semi-finalists, commenters emptyv (who correctly sussed out B2B Bistronomy from a portion of its decorative blackboard) and msanchez (who deduced Duran's Station from a glimpse of its beer cooler).

The prize? Two $10 Alibi Buck certificates to Tia Betty Blue's New Mexican restaurant. Home of the best damned red chile you're ever going to find atop a blue corn waffle boat.

The competition? Randomized hat wrestling.

Alibi staff writer Mark Lopez approaches the sophisticated Randomizer 4000 (aka a hat we found lying around the office). He reaches in, hesitantly pulls out a folded slip of paper.

There is a tension laden silence over the room.

He unfolds it, holds it up, and reveals ...


Congratulations Msanchez. I'll be contacting you through a direct message to your Alibi profile in the very near future.

As for the rest of you, the new month kicks off another round of bad-photo guessing. Each week, you'll get a chance to correctly identify the restaurant my hasty, blurry, sometimes sideways photo depicts. The first one to do so will be entered into the very next randomized hat wrestling throwdown, which will take place at the end of the month.

Happy guessing and good luck!

Where is it?

Weekly Alibi photo guessing restaurant contest thing

First of all, congratulations to last week's winner, commenter emptyv! He managed to guess the mystery restaurant (the excellent Bistronomy B2B) just about 30 seconds after I posted it. Let's see if this week's shot proves to be a little more challenging.

What is this all about? Each week, I'm posting a haphazard and generally terrible photo from one of the restaurants I've been to recently. Your job is to figure out which one it is and post the correct answer in the comments below (it doesn't count if you comment on facebook or shout it at your roommate or whatever). Whoever does so first will be eligible for the monthly Mysterious Alibi Bucks Drawing of Mystery (so named because I don't know which Alibi buck your vying for until the day of the drawing) wherein one lucky winner will receive a FREE Alibi Buck.

Now, because the contest only started in mid-January, today's winner will have a much better chance of winning the big prize (with only one other correct commenter to vie with). So stop reading this and start guessing! (Commenters who have correctly guessed in January have to wait till next month to try again.)

Which restaurant is pictured above?

Squash pie
Ari LeVaux


Happy National Pie Day, Everybody!

Grab a slice, enjoy your life

The American Pie Council (APC) invites lovers of all things delicious, warm, buttery and hearty (seriously, who doesn’t love pie?) to commemorate this glorious occasion. How will you celebrate? Take a trip to Pie Town, New Mexico? Bake a round of apple, blackberry, pecan or chocolate goodness? Since we’re New Mexicans, does Frito pie count?

Albuquerque blogger, award-winning baker and pie advocate Rebecca Jo Dakota suggests the 10 best ways to celebrate the day on her website piepals.com. It’s certainly not too late to turn this otherwise-ordinary Wednesday into a truly delectable tradition.

Ty Bannerman


Ty Takes a Meal

Announcing an Alibi blog only contest

Hey there, reader. Do you like winning things? Do you like staring at terrible photos and wondering what they're of? And, most importantly, do you like eating out in Albuquerque restaurants enough that you've memorized their decor and can spot it instantly in the above mentioned terrible photos?

Well, then I've got a contest for you.

Once a week, probably on a Monday, or maybe on a Tuesday, or maybe on some other day, I'll post a photo from one of my culinary expeditions around town. Your job will be to identify which restaurant it comes from in a comment. First one to post the correct answer will be eligible for the BIG MONTHLY ALIBI BUCKS DRAWING, meaning that you'll have a 1/4 or 1/5 (I am bad at both months and math) chance of winning a free gift certificate to a local eatery.

Now, January is just about over, but as a special incentive we're going to go ahead and start playing now anyway. Meaning that, since there are only two Tuesdays left in the month (including this one), the winning commenter will have double odds of landing the Alibi Bucks prize.

So, there it is, up in the corner: a joint I stopped in at last week. Where is it? Winner will be announced next Tuesday (or maybe Monday) along with the next restaurant pic. And then the winner of that week's contest will go HEAD TO HEAD with the winner of this week's contest in a battle royale I like to call "Draw the winner from a hat."


The Worst Cooking on the Web

The Internet can be both incredibly helpful and affirming: a vast repository of all the world's knowledge; a great town hall where minds can meet across cultures and countries and share their ideas and insights; a truly global community. But anyone who has spent more than an hour online knows that it can also be a seedy freak show and a sometimes disturbing glimpse into how truly pathetic so many of us humans really are.

Like every other aspect of the web, online cooking videos land all over that spectrum. Now, any other day I might choose to point you to the best that are available, but because it’s Monday morning, I’m in the mood for a train wreck. So, let me present to you the worst cooking videos on the Internet as judged by a panel of one expert (me). Oh, sure, there may be grosser or more depraved ones out there, but as far as I'm concerned, these three are unmatched in terms of reducing the human condition to its most piteous.

3. Steven Reed's Chili Cheese Dip

Apparently, somebody at Weber State University thought that the student body there could benefit from a how-to series on cooking simple, economical meals. That doesn’t seem like a bad idea until you see the execution. This is "cooking" at its most basic: two things are (barely) mixed together and then heated. But come on, a jar of processed cheese and a can of chili?

I don't know what worries me more, that a person in a decision-making position at Weber State thought that their students could use instructions on opening cans and then microwaving the contents, or that those students might actually need those instructions.

Or maybe the fact that the laconic, shuffling host is a convicted sex offender.

2. Popcorn Cereal

This one is slightly less sad than Reed's video, if only because this guy actually manages to successfully cook popcorn and he doesn't even need a microwave to do it. That's not much of an achievement, though, and in the end this is still a video by a dude who thinks that pouring tap water into a bowl of popcorn counts as some kind of recipe.

1. Hot Dogs and Peaches

Ugh. This one is a straight-up nightmare. Not a scary monster chasing you through endless hallways sort of nightmare, but the kind where unpleasant and dangerous things are happening and nothing makes sense. Random fires break out. There's a toilet in the kitchen. A mumbling man decides that hot dogs blended with peaches would make a good drink.

I hold out hope that some aspects of this video are a joke (seriously, hot dogs and peaches?), But even if the vlogger is pulling our leg a little bit, that doesn't change the fact that this fetid hellhole is his kitchen. Piles of garbage on the floor, the stove and sink filled with filthy dishes and random appliances, that toilet; whether or not the “cooking” is a prank, the (miserable, squalid) joke is still on him.

So, those are my nominees for the worst cooking on the web. But if there is one golden rule about awful things on the Internet, it is that there is always more, and it is always worse. Feel free to share your own nominees, barring any pornographic cooking videos, which almost certainly exist, but which I’d very much like to continue being ignorant of.


All Ears

Exploring the world of heirloom maize

For this week’s issue, Gail Guengerich decides it’s high time we started thinking beyond sweet, yellow corn. Instead, she suggests we delve into the many other varieties of maize available in the Albuquerque area, from blue corn to chicos.

Food for Thought: Beyond King Corn


Food Truck Fight?

As food trucks grow in popularity and start motoring into more and more parts of our city, there are bound to be some growing pains associated with them. The Nob Hill Neighborhood Association will be discussing some food truck related issues at their meeting tonight at 6:30 p.m. at Build New Mexico (122 Tulane).

In particular, some members of the Association are concerned that food trucks have been blocking usage of brick and mortar businesses and clogging up public parking. They’d like to see the area’s zoning changed so that trucks are relegated to setting up shop outside of parking lots and away from storefronts. Others believe that the mobile restaurants make the area more pedestrian friendly and vibrant overall and shouldn’t be restricted.

If you’ve got an opinion on this issue, consider stopping by the meeting and voicing your concerns. You can also email the Nob Hill Main Street Board at nobhillabqmainstreet@gmail.com or leave a comment on the Neighborhood Associatin’s facebook page.

We at the Alibi will be following this issue as well, so check back for updates in the near future.

U.S. Department of Agriculture


Turkey Foul

Your Calendar Editor made a boo-boo and told everyone that Cecilia’s downtown location would be serving up a Thanksgiving meal this Thursday. The truth, however, is that it is Cecilia’s in NOB HILL that will be dishing out four courses of autumnal goodness. Call (505) 268-1147 to make your reservation.

View in Alibi calendar calendar
Perfectly cooked—by somebody else
U.S. Department of Agriculture


Thanksgiving Alternatives

Burque restaurants serve up your favorite Turkey Day dishes and then do the dishes!

Sick of wrangling a 12-pound bird into the oven, being confined to your kitchen for 7 hours and then desperately attempting to keep your toddler from giving his perfectly cooked yams to the dog every November? Well, the restaurants of the Duke city feel your pain and have come to the rescue. From casinos to buffets to fine dining, your favorite local spots are dishing up classy, tasty and festive spreads. Check out our Thanksgiving food calendar for times and menu information. Most sit-down meals require reservations, so give them a call to make sure it’s not all gobbled up before you get there.


Sip Into Fall

Cocktails to warm you against the chill

As the weather turns cold, what could be better than reclining by the fire on a dark evening with a delicious, warming cocktail in hand? Liquor connoisseur Greg Mays, of simple-cocktails.com, offers recipes for three of his favorite Autumnal drinks to help you do just that in this web exclusive:

The Spirits of Autumn.