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The Daily Word in St. Patrick's Day

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Tuesday, March 17,

which is St. Patrick’s Day! So celebrate with a bottle of Killian’s, a bowl of Lucky Charms, a shamrock shake, some green beer, and other things that piss off Irish people.

In fact, most of what you know about St. Paddy’s Day is a lie. A LIE.

Brush up on the real St. Patrick here.

And if you seek authenticity, don’t forget to eat your parsnips!

Maybe you can find some at local Albuquerque restaurants that are celebrating Restaurant Week?

Meanwhile, the New York St. Patrick’s Day Parade is, for the first time, allowing an LGBT group to march. That’s right, one LGBT group is allowed to march, and it happens to be made up of employees of NBC, the network that threatened to boycott coverage of the parade if they didn’t.

Finally, dentists are excited about the holiday because so many people get into bar fights that result in the loss of teeth. So support your local dental clinic and mouth off to a drunken leprechaun tonight!

news

The Daily Word in narcolepsy, nausea, isolation and hallucinations

The Daily Word

A man was rolling a joint on the NYC Subway when he fell asleep.

A barfing bride strives to overcome her vomiting phobia before the day of her nauseating nuptials.

The average American wedding now costs $31,000.

Edward Snowden held a secret virtual meeting at SXSW.

In local news, a man shot his ex-girlfriend because the neighbor’s dog told him to do it.

Eccentric millionaire Robert Durst accidentally confessed to three murders.

Isolation and loneliness can have serious effects on your noodle.

Ron Jeremy turns 62 today! Here he is paying homage to Miley Cyrus.

news

The Daily Word in mean tweets, overdue library books and Frozen 2

The Daily Word

President Obama joined the “mean tweets” gang on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”

Well, it looks like the craze is continuing. Disney has announced Frozen 2.

Hours after the Ferguson police chief resigned after a Justice Department reported the police department acted on racial bias, two policemen were shot in a home on Thursday. An official believes it may have been an ambush.

One person was killed and two were injured after a medical helicopter crashed outside of Tulsa, Okla.

After a 19-year-old's video of her plea for citizenship went viral, a Texas legislator is introducing a bill to allow people to apply for delayed birth certificates in the county they are born in.

Police in Alamogordo are investigating a double homicide.

An APS teacher has resigned after being “bullied” by her students and receiving a death threat from one student.

Hey y'all! The National Wildlife Federation announced on Tuesday that Albuquerque is a top 10 US city for wildlife. Get it!

Johnathan Masters, a candidate in the race to be Kentucky's new lieutenant governor, was arrested for an overdue library book. Wait, what?

news

The Daily Word in police, fugitives and hot dogs

The Daily Word

Attorneys have 10 more days to submit documents before a district judge rules in a conflict of interest motion overshadowing the murder charges against Keith Sandy and Dominique Perez.

You'll be able to rent a bicycle in downtown Albuquerque beginning in May.

There is some decent art at Albuquerque's Sunport.

A US Airways jet airliner made an emergency landing at the Sunport this morning.

Our town's new Civilian Police Oversight Board meets for the first time today at 4:00 PM.

Fugitive Charlie Hill wants charges implicating him in the 1971 murder of State Police officer Robert Rosenbloom dismissed because of Susanna Martinez.

A staunch ally of La Tejana may not become a UNM regent after all.

The student government at UNM passed a resolution urging administrators and regents to replace Columbus Day celebrations with Indigenous Peoples’ Resistance and Resilience Day.

Climate change is a thing in New Mexico, says the latest edition of Rolling Stone Magazine.

The annual Free Fishing Derby is scheduled for this coming Saturday from 7:15am to 4pm at Tingley Beach. And Miguel Trujillo of Tome caught a 40-inch tiger muskie at Bluewater Lake. He was using a hot dog for bait.

news

The Daily Word in Breaking Bad pizza, iPhone hacking and court-mandated circumcision

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 11,

and the New Mexico senate has killed an anti-union bill,

Sandia Labs is trying to hack into your iPhone,

Breaking Bad fans keep throwing pizzas on some lady’s NE Heights home,

video game designers still don’t know how boobs work,

members of the University of Oklahoma’s SAE fraternity are sorry for being so racist,

and a Florida woman is running from the law because she doesn’t want her 4-year-old son circumcised.

Have a great day!

news

The Daily Word in girl power, girls playing sports and GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!

The Daily Word

It’s Tuesday! Today’s Daily Word will ~*~BlOw YoUr MiNd~*~*

Netflix is releasing a new series that you can’t binge watch. WTF?!

Saudi girls can now participate in sports at school! Yes you read that right! Yes I know it’s 2015 and that seems like it shouldn’t be a headline. But it’s true! Yay! Sports for everyone!

This is just incredibly sad. 10 people were killed in a helicopter crash while filming for a reality TV show.

Apparently giving eviction notices to homeless folks won’t solve homelessness?

It's a Grass Widow kind of day!

news

The Daily Word in racist frat boys, kissing skeletons and the ABCs of death

The Daily Word

A teacher was jailed for showing a graphic adult film that may have been inspired by Edward Gorey, and looks sort of awesome.

A fraternity in Oklahoma has been shut down after its members posted an online video of themselves using racist slurs.

Meanwhile, this art project's video has gone viral, raising awareness and jerking tears all over the globe.

New York's homeless population has reached an all-time high of 60,000, and 25,000 of them are children.

Competition turned deadly at the world's largest dog show.

In less tragic canine news, this dog was found by TSA in a checked suitcase at La Guardia.

A must-listen: It’s dark, it’s smooth, it’s Metallica and Hall & Oates all in one.

Here are some ideas for your Harry Potter-inspired bathroom.

Robert Mapplethorpe, Charles Bukowski, George Burns, Notorious B.I.G., and Brad Delp all died on this date.

Cranky over daylight savings? Turn that frown upside down with an episode of Majestic Loincloth!

news

The Daily Word in prom-munism, hobbits and Mars

The Daily Word

Cottonwood Classical Preparatory School embraces "prom-munism."

Drive carefully.

If you plan to watch the "Dig" premiere tonight on USA, spotting ABQ locations might make a fun drinking game.

George R.R. Martin donates a first edition of The Hobbit to Texas A&M's Cushing Memorial Library.

Mars ... needs ... women—I mean, may have once had an ocean.

news

The Daily Word in cream cheese, happy elephants and taking lunch breaks

The Daily Word

Good afternoon, people of the internet! It's almost Friday, which means absolutely nothing to people who work weekends!

The Ringling Bros. finally admit maybe having wild elephants as part of their circus isn’t really that cool.

A 91 year-old woman who was told as a girl she wouldn’t be able to pursue engineering, has landed her dream job as a design consultant specializing in products geared towards the elderly. TAKE THAT, AGEISM AND SEXISM!

Prince played basketball in middle school and his yearbook photo is going to make your Thursday.

Everyone knows the top emojis are the poop, the partying ghost and the monkey covering her eyes. Some genius made an emoji poop dress and it’s all I want this year for my birthday.

PUT CREAM CHEESE ON/IN EVERYTHING!

Take a lunch break every damn day!

news

The Daily Word in Mt. Everest's poop problem, PARCC protests and National Grammar Day

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 4,

and Mt. Everest is covered in shit and corpses,

a “party bike” will soon be wobbling through the streets of Downtown Albuquerque, bringing up to 14 drunken pedalers to the pubs of there choice,

the man who invented Keurig coffee makers thinks the disposable single-use coffee packets are to expensive and bad for the environment,

people on the Internet are still assholes,

APS is threatening to criminally charge students who protest the controversial PARCC test,

and its National Grammer Day, everybody! Check out Grammar Girls’ editing checklist here and then post all the errors you find in today’s Daily Word in the comments below. Whoever finds the most errors will win a heaping helping of smug self-satisfaction!

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