The Daily Word in Alcoholocaust, Area 51 and APD
APD responds to noise complaint then plays football with neighbor kids.
Kids, you don't need a theme to your beer pong games, especially not this Nazis vs Jews theme—very tired.
Are you more of a legs fish or an assfish?
What better day to discuss drugs than on 4/20, cool job UN.
When a joke goes too far and now you have a cat working for you. It's happened to all of us, right?
Clinton's campaign chairman really wants the juicy deets on all alien information the government is concealing. The truth is out there.
Jump Around no more, Mr. Trump.
The Daily Word in methane mystery, machete murder and Mary Jane
In the Four Corners area, researchers are attempting to locate the mysterious source of a methane "hot spot."
A museum commemorating the figure skating scandal of the 1990s involving Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding has been built by a couple in Brooklyn in their apartment.
The Red Rocker ordered a new car in 2014. The cost: $1.4 Million. He's still waiting for it to be delivered.
In Spain, a substitute teacher was killed and four others wounded after a 13-year-old brought a machete and cross bow to school.
In local news, a driver drove his vehicle through a parking lot, a brick wall, and through the living room of two residents in the Loma Del Norte 'hood. He is under investigation for possible DWI.
Norway is expected to be the first country to do away with FM radio.
Dude! It's 420! Don't Bogart that doobie!
The Daily Word: Scott Owens Goes Free, Gun At School, Secret Recipe For Invisible Ink
Scott Owens found not guilty on all charges.
A 13-year-old APS student brings a loaded gun to school.
Banks can't freeze Moammar Gadafi's funds because they don't know how to spell his name.
First Lady Michelle Obama was almost killed yesterday.
Happy 4/20 Day marijuana smokers/losers.
Police car torched in Four Hills neighborhood.
Car slams into crowd at McDonald's job fair.
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signs law giving Tea Party flag the same status as the American flag.
After almost 100 years the CIA declassifies the secret recipe for the Kaiser's invisible ink.
Drugs don't work in space.
Meet the Republican governors who attack federal spending while accepting federal dollars.
One porn company owns nearly a quarter of all 1-800 numbers.
This is why you nerds can't have nice things.
Florida job center fights unemployment by spending $14,000 on superhero capes.
Why do so many smart people deny science?
Walmart listens to customer requests, loses $1.85 billion in sales.
Attempt at setting Q*bert world record aborted after someone unplugs the game.
Read about Superman's 1942 crossover with Flash Gordon and Dick Tracy.
That culinary institute the Olive Garden sends is chefs to is not what you think it is. Actually, it's exactly what you think it is.
Newly released FBI documents show J. Edgar Hoover's interest in UFOs.
Largest ever spider fossil found in China.
The cast of Happy Days is suing CBS and Paramount for unpaid royalties.
Seven often-debated movie questions that have already been answered.
New Chicken McBites coming to a McDonald's soon.
DayBird - April 20th
Happy 420! For marijuana smokers, today is a day of celebration.
According to Snopes, no police department has ever used radio call code 420 for anything marijuana –related. That was the story I heard when I was stoned.
The real skinny was a group of high school students in San Rafael, Calif. in 1971 used the code “420 Louis” to tell each other to meet by the statue of Louis Pasteur outside the school at 4:20 p.m. for a smoke session. Jokers, smokers and midnight tokers.
For pot smokers, everyday is a day of celebration. Who am I kidding? moochie hippies.
571 – Muhammad, (traditional date) Prophet and founder of Islam, is born. Could Muhammad move a mountain, or was that just PR? I love Jesus Christ Superstar.
1765 – Abigail Williams, American accuser in the Salem witch trials dies. Finally.
1889 – Adolf Hitler was born this day. To celebrate his 56th, he poked his cabeza out of his bunker for the last time. fucker.
1902 - Scientists Marie and Pierre Curie isolated the radioactive element radium.
1912 – Bram Stoker, Irish author becomes a vampyr.
1920 - Retiring Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens, is born with a bowtie. Happy 90th.
1937 – Mr. Hikaru Sulu, helmsman of the USS Enterprise, is born. In 1942, his family was sent to Rohwer War Relocation Center for internment in Arkansas, then sent to another in California. The more you know.
1999 - The deadliest school shooting in U.S. happened in Littleton, Colorado, as two students armed with guns and explosives stormed into the high school at lunch time. They killed 12 classmates, a teacher and wounded more than 20 other persons before killing themselves.