Council Considers Flags, Films and 911 Response Times
ART and DoJ also discussed
Crib Notes: Thursday, July 31, 2014
The Daily Word with Southern Arizona Secession, Detroit Crack Pipes, Bin Laden’s Wives
Now you’ll be able to get fast and convenient homeland security alerts, right to your cell phone!
Civil War II? Liberals in southern Arizona want to secede and form their own state.
No breakfast for you! These Chicago students were denied after wearing the wrong shoes.
You can conveniently buy crack pipes in Detroit gas stations and dollar stores.
A Northwestern University human sexuality class featuring a live sex demonstration is cancelled.
Microsoft to purchase Skype for a record-shattering $8.5 billion.
The United States has been granted access to speak to Osama bin Laden’s numerous wives.
APD officer shooting alert: One dead this morning near San Mateo and Menaul.
This Orthodox Jewish newspaper in Brooklyn edited out Hillary Clinton from the iconic “OMG we got bin Laden!” photo.
For those of you that care, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver split up.
For future reference, 911 is not to be used to make your beer runs.
Whoa! These conjoined twins in China have two heads but share a single body.
The Daily Word 01.05.11: UNMH Shooter On The Loose, Mega Millions Winners, Dick Cheney On The Loose
Police are still on the hunt for the UNM Hospital shooter.
Icy roads shut down Montgomery and San Mateo this morning.
Robert Gibbs will leave his post of White House Press Secretary.
A Chicago woman calls 911 to scare boyfriend into proposing.
Police in Santa Fe evacuate a neighborhood after finding a meth lab.
Two million dead fish found in the Chesapeake Bay.
Dick Cheney is back.
Two winners will split the Mega-Million's $355 million jackpot.
Scientists are on the verge of a baldness cure for those poor bald jerks.
The end of bananas as we know them.
Brush up on your alternate members of the Fantastic Four here.
Giant bluefin tuna sells for $400,000 in Japan.
Cameron's house from Ferris Bueller's Day Off is for sale.
Who knew they were still making new episodes of Spongebob Squarepants?
Poor Stan Lee is reduced to creating super-heroes based on the teams of the NHL.
The worst wedding gift ever.
The top seven gaming disasters of 2010.
Odds & Ends
Dateline: Japan—A 30-year-old factory worker has pleaded guilty to burning down his family’s home after his mother threw out some of his action figures. Yoshifumi Takabe testified in Kobe District Court in western Japan that he became suicidal after losing several of his toy robots. Yoshifumi described the toys as partners with which he wanted to spend his life, ABC News Australia reports. In retaliation for his mother’s housecleaning, Yoshifumi poured kerosene inside the home and torched it, saying he wanted to die in the fire with his other “precious” robots. According to reports, the bulk of Yoshifumi’s action figure collection consisted of toys from the popular Gundam animated series. The fanboy’s 55-year-old mother told the court she frequently complained to her son that the toys were cluttering the house. She said there were enough to fill 300 boxes. The fire, which was set on Aug. 9 of last year, completely destroyed the family’s two-story wooden house. No one was injured. Presumably, all of Yoshifumi’s Gundam figures were lost in the blaze.