Senator Jeff Bingaman announced his retirement. It's going to be like amphetamine musical chairs when he vacates his seat.

House republicans pass bill to implement enormous spending cuts. Hey Boehner, read my lips: "VETO."

Italian PM Berlusconi once tried to get Naomi Campbell's digits. He goes on trial for paying an underage prostitute on April sixth.

This woman is pissed at People of Walmart because her mom is one of the people of Walmart.

Forest Service is afraid people will fall into holes in the Sandia mountains.

The dumbing down continues. Victim: The Dewey Decimal System.

Protesters are being killed, arrested and intimidated in Lybia, Iran, Yemen. NY Times Blog.

Speaking of intimidation, this Senate bill would make the publishing of classified information a felony.

By the way: despite popular opinion, Wikileaks has revealed a ton of important information that the hoi polloi didn't know before.

Breaking news regarding sharks.

Wild mug shot of suspected catalytic converter criminal.

Turn back the hands of time with Matt Groening's Father's 1969 short film "Basic Brown, Basic Blue."

Darth Vader does Justin Bieber.

Today is Cracker Jack Day. On this day in 1912, the first prize was placed in a box of Cracker Jack.

Remember how our economy tanked? Security and Exchange Commission employees were watching porn at work while it happened.

To save money, three Santa Fe schools will be closed.

Comedy Central censors part of "South Park" after creators are threatened by a radical Muslim group.

Will the Catholic Church now address superiors' crimes against women?

After the volcano ash brouhaha, should we dump planes for blimps?

Arizona's governor could sign what would be the nation's harshest immigration bill today.

Bombs kill dozens of civilians in Iraq.

First full face transplant.

Baby sea lion found on roof of four-story building.

This white supremacist was murdered.

It's Shirley Temple's birthday. Lollipops!

• Baby sea lion! (ThugLife) [ Fri Apr 23 2010 1:31 PM ]
  

Our air hockey table in the back of a truck.

This week, we ran an Alibi classified ad offering up our the air hockey table to the first person who could haul it away. We got about a zillion calls and now it’s gone. Sorry to everyone who didn’t get here first. It was really huge and took up our whole back room, so it’s kind of nice to have it gone. Our back room was packed with so much junk you could barely move in there, much less play air hockey. Farewell, air hockey table.

 

New Mexico legislation, with the support of Charlton Heston’s followers, a.k.a. the National Rifle Association (NRA), have approved in a majority vote that carrying concealed weapons into establishments selling beer and wine will now be legal. Don’t worry; the establishment has to have at least 60% of their sales come from food sales. Well… that certainly puts my mind at ease.  I was a little concerned at first with the whole alcohol and guns things, but it looks like they have it under control. The Senate and the House are in agreement, after all “great minds” think alike; however, the bill will have to be signed into actual law by Governor Richardson before the final pass is made.

The bill is sponsored by Democratic Senator George Munoz, who has inferred that there will be a reduction in reported crimes, since most folks leave their guns in their cars when they go into beer and wine service establishments, and then other folks steal them and commit crimes. Well, with everyone drinking and carrying around guns, this should substantially reduce the crime rate. What?

The law will still prohibit guns in full liquor establishments. Apparently it is much safer to have them around beer or wine than whiskey or Jager bombs. This matter, when addressed on the Senate floor, sparked a key debate over alcohol consumption and folks carrying concealed weapons. Representative Jeff Steinborn, Democrat-Las Cruces asked about the consumption of alcohol, and was answered by Representative John Heaton, Democrat-Carlsbad, “They cannot be inebriated…” My question is how would this be regulated? Would the person with the concealed weapon have to blow into his/her gun? Maybe take it apart really fast and put it back together like that scene in Stripes? Are we going to be patted down now before we go into Red Robin? How will this be regulated? Don’t we already have enough concealed “weapons”, i.e. drugs, knives, etc. making their way into bars and establishments serving beer and wine? Well what’s one more, and at least this one is legal, as long as you aren’t drunk. Someone may want to remind Rep. Heaton that being inebriated in any establishment selling alcohol, with or without a gun, has always been illegal.