Bill


news

The Daily Word in beer can houses, busted child pornography rings and online auctions

Pope Francis declares that homosexuals shouldn't be marginalized or judged.

A recent study shows the top food choking hazards for children. Hint: Don't be giving them no hard candy.

In a major sweep, FBI arrest 150 pimps and rescue 105 children in a massive child prostitution ring.

Bill expected to pass which would create better interest rates on student loans, but it's not without its critics.

Officials estimate that the damage is up to $1 million after a severe storm hit Burque on Friday.

Going once! Going twice! Get your New Mexican unclaimed items right here!

19-year-old Justin Covey, who was reported missing yesterday, has been found by Albuquerque police and returned to his parents.

Austin has the Cathedral of Junk. Houston has a house covered in beer cans.

opinion

Why So Stupid?

On Justin Bieber and the lost youth culture

The Biebs havin’ a brew in South Africa, courtesy of his Instagram account.
The Biebs havin’ a brew in South Africa, courtesy of his Instagram account.

News publications went haywire over the news that Justin Bieber (you know that Bieber fever is an actual sickness) peed in a bucket before cursing former president, Bill Clinton. It was a landmark day in the career of the former tween pop star who made his mark offering slick rhymes over processed beats and landed straight in the hearts of young girls worldwide, like a wayward arrow from Cupid himself. Now I should admit here and now, before I continue further, that I've never listened to a full Justin Bieber song. I've heard snippets here and there, said “That's enough!” and changed the station without a moment's hesitation. But if you like his music, more power to you. Maybe you can explain it to me. I'd love to hear it.

Moving along … after hearing this story, I became even more intrigued with the idea of youth culture. Granted my generation was only a decade ago, I find myself sympathizing and coming up with excuses for our nation's youth all the time. And I think that's just an adult mentality in general. You witness people like Amanda Bynes, Lindsay Lohan and the like, and find yourself either not paying attention (like me) or you find yourself constantly perusing the headlines, trying to see what trainwreck has blow-torched its carcass across the fine print of the day. And for those that don't pay attention, you simply say “Where the hell are the parents?” Because back in our day … they were the answer, if not the reason. So I ask, where are the parents? Where are those people that protect their children against the tyranny and selfishness of the world and raise them to be little warriors that think and feel and make good decisions?

People act as if this lapse in youth judgment is a recent tip of the scale. Has the trainwreck/stupid phenomena not been going on for generations? Was the late Corey Haim not going to clubs and bars, getting loaded and having his image splashed in every tabloid that had enough space to welcome it? So, why are people so critical of today's pop stars and young actors? What makes them so special in regard to past generations in terms of who did it worse? By the time I was a teenager, Macaulay Culkin (who I revered as the coolest, loudest, weirdest child to fend off burglars) was already having his mug shot taken. I didn't fret because I figured if you're going to be interested in celebrity, you should read the tell-tale signs, if not follow the comebacks. Robert Downey Jr. anyone?

And the only sane words of advice I've heard being given to these young Hollywood dilettantes were from Helen Mirren, who simply said, “Don't be up your own bum.” Simple as that. Get your heads out of your asses, get to work, cash your checks, rank up those vacation days and go about your business in a calm, leisurely manner. Unless it is your ultimate goal to look like a buffoon every time the cameras are rolling and there's a tartini to sip. Or maybe it's just a teen angst-inspired rhythm that keeps them dancing the dance of dangerous paths only to find solace in the American courtroom while hearing a judge tell them they've had it all wrong. To them, maybe authority is the answerbut also the cause. One can only wonder. But it's like that saying goes … youth is wasted on the young. Maybe there is some truth to it.

But like any grown-up just barely skimming the headlines, you can't help but feel some sort of pity for these lost Barbies and Kens who think convertibles, clothes and coke make for one hefty recipe of a good time. Don't get me wrong, clothes are nice (and essential at times), but where's the weight of such extravagances? And who does it fall on? Everyone else, unless these celebs get better tax people to straighten out the numbers. But as long as these youngsters keep doling out good tabloid headlines, selling issues of papers that usually get the facts wrong, and still make time for red carpet appearances to promote that B-movie that almost went straight to video but managed to find decent distribution, then I'm sure we have even more spicy headlines coming our way. Who knows? Justin Bieber may poop on Mt. Rushmore and say he did it all for the nookie. Or was it the cookie?

news

The Daily Word 2.19.11: Bingaman's seat; demise of Dewey decimal; fink on Berlusconi

Senator Jeff Bingaman announced his retirement. It's going to be like amphetamine musical chairs when he vacates his seat.

House republicans pass bill to implement enormous spending cuts. Hey Boehner, read my lips: "VETO."

Italian PM Berlusconi once tried to get Naomi Campbell's digits. He goes on trial for paying an underage prostitute on April sixth.

This woman is pissed at People of Walmart because her mom is one of the people of Walmart.

Forest Service is afraid people will fall into holes in the Sandia mountains.

The dumbing down continues. Victim: The Dewey Decimal System.

Protesters are being killed, arrested and intimidated in Lybia, Iran, Yemen. NY Times Blog.

Speaking of intimidation, this Senate bill would make the publishing of classified information a felony.

By the way: despite popular opinion, Wikileaks has revealed a ton of important information that the hoi polloi didn't know before.

Breaking news regarding sharks.

Wild mug shot of suspected catalytic converter criminal.

Turn back the hands of time with Matt Groening's Father's 1969 short film "Basic Brown, Basic Blue."

Darth Vader does Justin Bieber.

Today is Cracker Jack Day. On this day in 1912, the first prize was placed in a box of Cracker Jack.

News

The Daily Word 04.23.10: Sea Lion, South Park, Porn

Remember how our economy tanked? Security and Exchange Commission employees were watching porn at work while it happened.

To save money, three Santa Fe schools will be closed.

Comedy Central censors part of "South Park" after creators are threatened by a radical Muslim group.

Will the Catholic Church now address superiors' crimes against women?

After the volcano ash brouhaha, should we dump planes for blimps?

Arizona's governor could sign what would be the nation's harshest immigration bill today.

Bombs kill dozens of civilians in Iraq.

First full face transplant.

Baby sea lion found on roof of four-story building.

This white supremacist was murdered.

It's Shirley Temple's birthday. Lollipops!

blog

The Alibi Air Hockey Table Has Been Grabbed

Our air hockey table in the back of a truck.
Our air hockey table in the back of a truck.

This week, we ran an Alibi classified ad offering up our the air hockey table to the first person who could haul it away. We got about a zillion calls and now it’s gone. Sorry to everyone who didn’t get here first. It was really huge and took up our whole back room, so it’s kind of nice to have it gone. Our back room was packed with so much junk you could barely move in there, much less play air hockey. Farewell, air hockey table.

blog

Beer and Guns: The New Peanut Butter and Chocolate?

New Mexico legislation, with the support of Charlton Heston’s followers, a.k.a. the National Rifle Association (NRA), have approved in a majority vote that carrying concealed weapons into establishments selling beer and wine will now be legal. Don’t worry; the establishment has to have at least 60% of their sales come from food sales. Well… that certainly puts my mind at ease.  I was a little concerned at first with the whole alcohol and guns things, but it looks like they have it under control. The Senate and the House are in agreement, after all “great minds” think alike; however, the bill will have to be signed into actual law by Governor Richardson before the final pass is made.

The bill is sponsored by Democratic Senator George Munoz, who has inferred that there will be a reduction in reported crimes, since most folks leave their guns in their cars when they go into beer and wine service establishments, and then other folks steal them and commit crimes. Well, with everyone drinking and carrying around guns, this should substantially reduce the crime rate. What?

The law will still prohibit guns in full liquor establishments. Apparently it is much safer to have them around beer or wine than whiskey or Jager bombs. This matter, when addressed on the Senate floor, sparked a key debate over alcohol consumption and folks carrying concealed weapons. Representative Jeff Steinborn, Democrat-Las Cruces asked about the consumption of alcohol, and was answered by Representative John Heaton, Democrat-Carlsbad, “They cannot be inebriated…” My question is how would this be regulated? Would the person with the concealed weapon have to blow into his/her gun? Maybe take it apart really fast and put it back together like that scene in Stripes? Are we going to be patted down now before we go into Red Robin? How will this be regulated? Don’t we already have enough concealed “weapons”, i.e. drugs, knives, etc. making their way into bars and establishments serving beer and wine? Well what’s one more, and at least this one is legal, as long as you aren’t drunk. Someone may want to remind Rep. Heaton that being inebriated in any establishment selling alcohol, with or without a gun, has always been illegal.

View desktop version