Confederacy


V.24 No.43 | 10/22/2015

politics

Chris DeCarlo: Sheriff for the new Confederacy, we guess?

There are not a lot of reasons that we here at the Albuquerque Weekly Alibi would pay attention to an independent sheriff candidate in Virginia, but it looks like an embarrassingly stilted, way too long "rap video" by said candidate will do the trick.

Who is Chris DeCarlo and what does he stand for? A quick glance at the press release he sent us tells us that he wants to fight another Battle of Manassas and, in general, "fix America" by reigniting the "War Between the States." Which seems a little counter-intuitive, but maybe we just don't get Virginia politics.

A viewing of his video further informs us that he stands for horse riding, vest-wearing and an overall platform of old white guys playing cowboy. And rapping.

So, um, if any of that sounds good to you and you live in Virginia, maybe vote for him? As for us, we're glad we don't have to deal with this particular king of crazy out here in New Mexico. But keep up the good work, Virginia! We are very entertained. And just a little scared.

V.19 No.42 |

News

The Daily Word 10.22.10: Oh where, oh where did my launch codes go, the chickens have been gassed, spinning death clouds descend upon us.

The Daily Word

Whirling death clouds (tornadoes) spotted in south east New Mexico.

Woman drove around with mummy in car for months.

Guy wanted for beating up grandmother, stealing her television.

Exploding pen lands teen in jail.

Two chicken producers switch to gassing the birds rather than just slitting their throats. How nice.

The moon has usable water.

Virginia didn't have text book that says black people fought for the Confederacy reviewed by any experts.

Mel Gibson won't be in The Hangover 2.

Virtual border fence sucks. Hardy har.

Ex-General says nuclear launch card went missing for months.