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George R. R. Martin


V.22 No.16 |

news

The Daily Word in more minimum wage increases, horse murders and George R.R. Martin's new movie theater

The Daily Word

Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin just bought the Jean Cocteau theater in Santa Fe. “I’ve always loved movies and I’ve always loved old theaters,” he said, as naked prostitutes writhed around him in a way that didn't really seem to advance the plot.

Despite the opposition of the Obama administration, the wrath of PETA and a voicemail in-box full of death threats, Valley Meat Co. in Roswell is one step closer to slaughtering horses.

Bernalillo County voted to pass its own minimum wage increase. Route 66 Malt Shop co-owner Eric Szeman spoke against it. Because nobody's sick of that guy yet.

It turns out the Elvis impersonator did not, in fact, mail ricin laced letters to the President. Suspicions now fall on his nemesis, the evil martial arts instructor, Master Dutschke. Somehow, this is real.

The Post Office is super mad at Lance Armstrong.

Swedish llamas protect sheep from wolves.

And, as always, when it comes to big news, remember to look for a second source.

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    DUM DUM GIRLS / EX-COPS11.11.2014