APS bosses get raises, teachers pissed.

Legislators suspicious of Gov. Martinez filming them in the Roundhouse.

Taco Bell unveils baked potato wrapped in a tortilla.

State cop takes a woman into custody and then has sex with her in his patrol car on their way to jail. No charges are filed.

Guy slices his tongue to get his wife back.

The Tea Party says it’s Romney’s fault.

Your brain and music.

Welcome to Middle-Earth Airlines.

Diane Sawyer, drinking wine, taking meds, making coke jokes.

The worst appearances of musicians in sci-fi movies.

Google unveils JAM, which is, roughly, Garage Band. Here’s other stuff Google has wasted money on.

For balance: Forgotten Apple products of yore.

For x-mas, please buy me a petri dish ornament.

Puerto Rico is thinking it wants to be a state.

Neil Gaiman writes some “Doctor Who,” tries to salvage the glory of the Cybermen.

flikr / CC BY-SA 2.0

 

Thanks to creepy algorithmic autocomplete search capabilities, I was just allowed an enlightening glimpse into the top ten burning questions fellow pilgrims in the area have been posing to the All-Knowing, All-Seeing Oracle, Google.

How do I tell if...

my dog has a fever?

I have bed bugs?

my Mac is 64 bit?

I'm pregnant?

my phone is unlocked?

I'm ovulating?

a girl likes me?

a mango is ripe?

eggs are still good?

my Coach purse is real?

• What? (romaine) [ Wed Aug 15 2012 5:36 PM ]
  

 

Nukemap is a handy online app that allows you to rain some nuclear annihilation down on your hometown (or any town for that matter). Simply input the GoogleMaps location you’d like to destroy and select the historical payload you want to unleash. (Do you feel like the dainty 16-kiloton “Little Boy” or the whopping 3.3-megaton Chinese ICBM today?) Then, push the button and see if your neighborhood survives. Probably not. It’s scary and fun ... and educational too, I guess.

• Why did you blow up Waco's Taco's? (Yoga Pants) [ Fri Feb 24 2012 10:44 AM ]
  
• Hey (editorial) [ Sat Feb 25 2012 1:03 PM ]
  

Beloved elderly man dies in the cold on his porch in La Mesilla, NM.

New state laws for 2012 bring about happy hour bans, fire-breathing regulations and more.

Canadian drug found successful in treating ovarian cancer.

99-year-old Italian man divorcing his wife of 77 years over her 1940's affair.

Anti-theft butt cheek recognition car seats.

Amazon, Facebook and Google consider a coordinated anti-SOPA blackout.

Target becomes target (hehe) for large public gathering of breast-feeding moms.

CNN's top stories of 2011.

Too bad Christmas is over: I would have wanted a Batman iPod dock with built in taser.

Let's make some New Year's Eve resolutions.

Fox apologizes to Jews for Facebook poll on Jesus' death.

Words of comfort: Russia test fires long-range missile with new warhead.

Apparently Rihanna's forehead has its own Uncyclopedia page.

Thanks C!

• divorce
• amazon
• facebook
• google
• 2011
• 2012
• batman
• russia
• rihanna

• coordinated blackout (sloppy) [ Fri Dec 30 2011 10:50 AM ]
  
• I apologize (E. J. Maliskas) [ Fri Dec 30 2011 11:28 AM ]
  
• If she had told him in the 40's, they'd probably still be married. (Madmammajamma) [ Fri Dec 30 2011 12:31 PM ]
  

UNM hires ex-Notre Dame coach Bob Davie to be Lobo football's new boss.

APD fires belly-bumping officers who kicked a suspect in the head on video.

The toast sandwich is two pieces of bread around a slice of toast. It's the 150-year-old brainchild of Victorian food writer Mrs. Beeton.

Occupy Wall Street embarks on a nonviolent solidarity action, and has trouble with police in New York.

Art? Or stalking 14-year-old girls?

Avoid penile cancer by abstaining from bestiality.

Sexuality as a force for good.

The New Mexico Independent is done done. Almost exactly a year ago, the company got rid of its news team and hired part-time bloggers.

Mom of Sandusky's adopted son has concerns.

Clothing company folds under Vatican pressure and removes an ad showing the pope kissing an imam.

Politicians fumbling Spanish.

The people don't like Congress much these days. Know what that means? It's third-party time.

Google's getting into the music store biz. But there's no Prince. And no Zeppelin.

Katy Perry's Milli Vanilli flute fail.

Norwegians raise a viking ship using viking tools.

Is ScarJo a beard?

Some places in the world remain untouched by Facebook.

Life on Europa.

The haze in the sky is smoke from wildfires.

Chief justice of the state Supreme Court says he did not buy his job.

Driver facing vehicular homicide charge after cyclist’s death last month.

Arizona sues the feds over medical marijuana.

Unemployment fell in New Mexico.

Google says hackers in China got into hundreds of Gmail accounts. Chinese government says that’s baloney.

Lady Gaga killed the notion of “the album.”

Two senators warn that the government is using the Patriot Act in alarming ways. But they say they can’t talk about it because it’s classified.

The war on drugs hasn’t worked, say politicians around the world. The United States and Mexico disagree.

T-Pain renounces auto-tune.

Europe’s mutant E.coli killed almost 20 people so far.

Nudism is on the decline.

Demand goes up for gluten-free, vegan baked goods, which means they’re becomming more delicious.

You can’t scrub yourself off the Internet.

Revenge bombing in Pakistan may be first of many.

Europe to curtail passport-free travel, stopper immigration.

Robert Krulwich, Radiolab host, gives commencement speech on the future of journalism.

Facebook paid PR firm to smear Google.

Nineteen decapitated bodies found in Durango, Mexico since Monday.

Two cyclists hit by cars Thursday, one dead. Not cool.

NM Forest Service to close several forests due to extreme fire danger.

Murders/suicide in Idaho leaves
five dead.

Mapfund announces a million in grants to groundbreaking performers.

The Oatmeal instructions for being a bad salesperson.

• ....Stopper immigration (geoffreyplant) [ Fri May 13 2011 12:59 PM ]
  
• Er... (KayleeTheGr8) [ Fri May 13 2011 3:04 PM ]
  

Man found dead with his throat cut near Mountain and Sixth Street.

Guy goes to the lost and found at Sandia Casino looking for his cocaine.

Bears in Roswell and Belen.

AIDS vaccine works in monkeys. A human vaccine may be just around the corner.

Paramedic says he was discriminated against because of his beard in Española. He's a Sikh, and it's part of his religion.

The M-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-humpback-humpback-I River is flooding at historic levels.

Guard for Nazi camp was charged with 28,060 counts of accessory to murder. He was sentenced to five years in prison.

Google lobbies for self-driving cars. Guess Google never watched the "Doctor Who" episode about the ATMOS system in cars.

This technology can read your mind.

World wastes more than a billion tons of food every year.

Bin Laden's diary (crushes revealed! jk).

Dems try to repeal tax incentives for big oil, given the companies are seeing profit.

Interpol issues arrest warrant for WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange.

Let's not get too excited about this big NASA announcement.

Senate Republicans sign letter promising to block Democratic-backed legislation.

17 children removed from filthy Albuquerque house.

Convicted murderer manages to post party pictures to his Facebook profile from inside prison.

Lobo football players were involved in a fight at the Lotus Nightclub.

Local businesses saw a Black Friday boost this year.

58-years ago today the recipient of the first successful sex-change-surgery debuts.

Chanukah begins tonight.

A new venomous animal discovered in Yosemite National Park.

Iran hangs soccer player's mistress.

Did Google buy Groupon?

The French are selling foie gras burgers.

CNET declares the end of the 5-year console cycle.

This genetically engineered apple won't brown, probably also won't taste good.

The Dear Leader likes to look at things.

Movember is over, time to shave.

These $350 hiking stilettos can't be real, can they?

Wendy's has a new burger I haven't tried yet.

Happy birthday Sarah Silverman!

• ooh ooh big NASA announcement! (aw0L) [ Thu Dec 2 2010 11:11 AM ]
  
• no aliens, sorry (sloppy) [ Thu Dec 2 2010 12:54 PM ]
  
• ah. (aw0L) [ Thu Dec 9 2010 12:20 AM ]
  

 

According to today’s top Google search terms, human beings are more concerned with zombie attacks than severe weather. That means something. Not sure what. But it means something.

Happy Columbus Day.

Earthquakes hit Arkansas.

Google cars drive themselves.

George Michael is out of jail.

Chinese scientists hunt for the Yeren.

Reporters destroy things.

Can a fetus smile?

Autism may be linked to jaundice.

A city of staples.

It’s National Coming Out Day.

There’s one more Steig Larsson book.

Albuquerque schools received racist and “smoke weed” graffiti.

There was a bomb scare at K-Mart.

Who would shoot a pregnant horse and cut its legs off?

Happy birthday Darrell Hall.

Get out there and vote in today’s primary!

Tropical Storm Agatha makes a giant hole in Guatemala City.

A woman who was hit by a car sues Google for faulty Google Map directions.

Kids are wearing yellow contact lenses and fangs in schools these days.

A new poll finds 46 percent of Americans suffer from debt stress.

Sarah Ferguson, videotaped in a hotel attempting to sell access to her ex Prince Andrew, tells Oprah she was just drinking.

The U.S. military withdraws from earthquake-ravaged Haiti today.

24 miles of Louisiana coastline has been fouled due to the Gulf oil spill.

A man shoots an employee and then himself at a North Carolina Target store.

California is split in half when it comes to Arizona’s SB 1070.

PNM wants a 21 percent rate hike on your electric bill.

Worker bees swarm Wall Street on Memorial Day. Are they trying to tell us something?

Moriarty may be the future site of a memorial for DWI victims.

 

A teacher uses a hypothetical assassination of President Obama to teach a geometry problem. Creepy.

Should trained chimps be predicting hurricanes?

A man is accused of trying to swap his 3-month-old daughter for beer.

Google admits to recording communications sent over wireless networks in people’s homes. Way to out-Big Brother Big Brother, Google.

According to Ted Turner, God is responsible for the massive Gulf oil spill. Makes sense.

4 people commute to work naked to publicize a TV show in London.

A woman chases a Wendy’s worker with a taser after they messed up her order.

Janet Napolitano is vehemently against SB 1070, but hasn’t even read it.

According to Woody Allen, Obama should be a dictator for a few years.

President of HDNet and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban says print is not dead.

Albuquerque City Council rejects a proposal to boycott Arizona. Berry’s immigration policy stays.

Red light cameras at three major Albuquerque intersections are now turned off.

Verizon forgives an $18,000 phone bill a man’s son racked up while using the internet.

• Creepy Geometry? (BrokenArrow) [ Tue May 18 2010 11:56 AM ]
  
• A pejorative I can't spell (Pattriot) [ Tue May 18 2010 8:29 PM ]
  

 

Google and the United States Census have teamed up to create an interactive Google Map of 2010 Census participation. You can check it out right here. From what I can tell, it’s intended to inspire some sort of competitive state spirit in the hopes that we’ll fill out our census forms quickly so we can seem more on the ball than freaking Oklahoma.

As a slogan, “Beat your Census 2000 mail-back rate!” lacks a certain zing. The other problem, of course, is people have obviously bought into the paranoia that the population census is some evil government plot. Fill it out and the information will be sent directly to Satan and Darth Vader, who will show up at your house and kill your pets. Right now, for example, 18 percent of New Mexicans have filled out their census forms. By this point in 2000, 65 percent of us had filled them out. Montana, by the way, is the current mail-back leader at 33 percent. At this rate, we should have the U.S. population counted by ... the 2020 Census, at least.

• don't forget to cheat! (sloppy) [ Thu Mar 25 2010 12:16 PM ]
  
• Why you gotta hate on Oklahoma? (edgossage) [ Thu Mar 25 2010 12:48 PM ]