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V.24 No.32 | 08/06/2015


The Daily Word in criminalizing teens, armed white men in Ferguson and a woman strolling across the surface of Mars

The Daily Word

The EPA is taking full responsibility for the Animas River spill, which will likely have longterm consequences for the environment.

Albuquerque teens are opposing a proposed curfew, saying such a law would criminalize being a teenager.

An armed group called "The Oath Keepers" has arrived in Ferguson, MO.

Investigators in Ukraine think they have found pieces of a missile that brought down Flight MH17.

Google is now owned by a company named "Alphabet".

One of the images captured by the Curiosity Rover appears to show a woman walking across the surface of Mars.

Archeologists think they have solved the mystery of the 16th century colonists who vanished from Roanoke.

The paper lobby is losing yet another fight to keep the US Government using paper rather than digital communications and record keeping.

V.24 No.22 | 05/28/2015


The Daily Word in East Mountains Google drones, a big loss for Big Tobacco and commercials on Netflix

The Daily Word

Super creepy APD action results in yet another payout by the city over excessive force.

Despite a crash involving one of it's large drones, Google continues research and development in the East Mountains area.

APD's SWAT team responded to a domestic violence situation that seems less than SWAT-worthy.

Think the NSA is scary? Meet the NSAC.

Nearly half of Americans can't handle an unexpected expense of 400.00 or more.

Say it ain't so, Netflix!

Learn what is going to (temporarily) change about the Patriot Act.

Confirmation that the TSA exists solely to make air travel a pain in the ass and does not make things safer.

Big Tobacco lost big in Canada today.

V.24 No.20 | 5/14/2015


The Daily Word in typhoid, grenades, breast milk and Glenn Danzig

The Daily Word

Self-driving cars are having accidents.

Drug-resistant typhoid may be the next pandemic.

Chris Christie allegedly spent over $80,000 of taxpayers' money on snacks and booze at football games over a 3-year period.

The artist curently known as Prince performed a surprise concert in Baltimore to promote peace after two weeks of protests.

The World Health Organization is very concerned about how diseases are named.

A W.W.II grenade was donated to a Goodwill in the state of Washington, causing an evacuation and shutting down the store for several hours.

A woman in New Zealand drank her own breast milk for sustenance while lost in a forest for 24 hours.

Salvador Dali was born on this day in 1904. Here are a few things you didn't know about the eccentric artist.

Glenn Danzig: some things never change.

V.24 No.9 | 02/26/2015


The Daily Word in mental health taxes, a house thief and true love

The Daily Word

Eight people died last night in a series of shootings in south-central Missouri.

Jim Inhofe provided a little show-and-tell on the Senate floor.

A California couple who'd been married for 67 years died on the same day while holding hands. That's love, y'all.

Porn lovers can rejoice, as Google has lifted the “explicit sexual content” ban on Blogger.

Season 3 of “House of Cards” is now live on Netflix, y'all! Note: SPOILERS in the following link.

A Rio Rancho mother is “disturbed” by a pornographic book her son checked out of his high school library.

Bernalillo County commissioners approved a tax hike that'll go to mental health services.

Snap! APS has decided to close schools today. Snow day!

Apparently, a thief in Oregon stole an entire house. No, really.

V.24 No.3 | 1/15/2015
Robert Maestas

How to Do Literally Everything

How to Fall in Love with Music Again

Music editor Samantha Anne Carrillo gives away her secrets to finding new music.
V.23 No.51 | 12/18/2014


The Daily Word in Seth Rogen, angry Dutchmen, killer Zambonis, Walt Disney, and rectal feeding.

The Daily Word

Police ended a hostage crisis at a chocolate shop in Sydney, Australia.

In other Australian news, a shark killed a teenager.

Americans believe torture prevents acts of terrorism.

Speaking of torture, Karl Rove wants to feed your rectum.

An APD Officer accidentally shot a civilian on Sunday morning.

Seth Rogen is North Korea's biggest enemy.

The US is the most uncaring nation in the industrial world, and it's all Ayn Rand's fault.

Mother Nature screwed up the day for air travelers in San Francisco.

The liquid in E-ciagerettes is poisonous enough to kill a child.

The Dutch are not happy about Google's privacy violations through data collection.

In Wisconsin, a Zamboni is trying to kill people. A Plymouth Fury named Christine once tried to kill people.

Walt Disney died on this day back in 1966. He was 65. Here are some inspirational Disney quotes to get you through life or at least through the day.

V.23 No.22 | 5/29/2014


The Daily Word in Bowe Bergdahl, the Brady Bunch and the Pride Parade.

The Daily Word

Ann B. Davis died.

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl was released after five years of Taliban captivity.

Hamburger meat and drama result from the feud over the care of Casey Kasem.

Google will blanket the earth with internet access.

Watch 50 Cent’s amazing pitch.

Is it mostly sunny or partly cloudy?

I’ll see you there!

I like smashed hamburgers.

Shirley MacLaine addressed the graduates of the New Mexico School for the Arts.

Weather Service radar picked up a grasshopper swarm over Albuquerque.

Take UNM’s free, online curandero class.

Here’s a photo essay from this weekend’s Pride Parade in Albuquerque.

What’s happening in Albuquerque today?

Happy birthday, Stacy Keach.

V.23 No.21 | 5/22/2014


The Daily Word in Elliot Rodger, Stairway to Heaven and Kimye’s wedding.

The Daily Word

Mass murderer Elliot Rodger finally found fame.

Please take care of my baby raccoons.

Lawyer claims Spirit’s Randy California wrote “Stairway to Heaven” and I wouldn’t be surprised.

A woman got engaged at sandwich #257.

There’s a new crater on Mars.

The New York Post covered Kimye’s wedding.

Emma Watson graduated from Hogwarts.

A woman was knocked over by a deer.

It’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp Google Glass.

APD encountered a man with a violent past.

Two area teens were injured in a rollover crash.

What’s happening in Albuquerque today?

Happy birthday, John Wayne.

We love you, Henny.

Thanks for the links, Susan Petersen.

V.23 No.21 |


The Daily Word in Detroit carjackers, New Mexico oil and a jailhouse stripper

The Daily Word

A postage stamp honoring Harvey Milk, a gay civil rights leader who was assassinated in 1978, has been unveiled.

Carjackers are takin' over Detroit.

Utah Gov. Gary Herbert thinks states not defending same-sex marriage bans is “the next step toward anarchy.” If that's the case, chaos couldn't be sweeter.

Google is creating a tablet with “advanced vision capabilities.” If it doesn't make you invisible, I don't care.

Last night, Albuquerque police shot and killed a man who is suspected of attacking a woman and then stabbing a good samaritan who tried to help her.

Nothing like an explosion to get rid of a fire.

According to New Mexico State Police, at least six people died in a car crash involving multiple vehicles on I-10.

The oil industry is drawing more folks to certain parts of New Mexico.

Birdland, a local store in Nob Hill, was broken into yesterday morning, apparently another in a series of Nob Hill businesses that have been “compromised.”

After Miami police arrested a strip club employee, she decided to give them a show right in the jail cell.

V.23 No.15 |


The Daily Word in Google drones, banning cars from the Santa Fe plaza and rumours of an AC/DC breakup have snowballed

The Daily Word

Albuquerque police and family members are looking for this mentally disabled kid who ran away from school on April 9th. He was last seen (by this writer) in the 4th and Central area yesterday evening.

Tuesday April 15th 2014: your taxes are due.

There was blood on the moon last night.

Google bought a drone company in Moriarty, New Mexico.

The mayor of Santa Fe wants to make the plaza pedestrian-only.

Pollution in China is affecting the weather.

Things are heating up in Ukraine.

Pulitzers were announced.

Dr. Kevorkian painted a lot of surreal and creepy pictures.

There is a smoke ring halo over England.

Munich has "official nudist zones".

It was a long way to the top in this dog eat dog world, but it now looks like the end of the highway for AC/DC.

V.22 No.27 |


The Daily Word in BP appeals case, Roswell and Google Doodle and superhero villains

The Daily Word

BP Lawyer cites "irreparable injustices" in how settlement payments are being handled.

Officials probe why a jet that crash landed in San Francisco was flying too slow before it hit the runway.

Authorities search for 40 missing people after a train blast in Quebec town that killed five.

Michael Allen speaks out in speculation over whether Albuquerque police could have spared his brother, Vincent Wood, who was shot multiple times on Friday night.

Albuquerque remembers Austin Hudson-LaPore.

Google Doodle and Roswell? Oh, we're there!

City planners want to make Central a little snazzier! Neon signs anyone?

First Batman ... and now Spider-Man? I thought superheroes were supposed to fight crime!

V.21 No.46 | 11/15/2012


The Daily Word in lawmaker cam, Taco Bell and Puerto Rico

The Daily Word

APS bosses get raises, teachers pissed.

Legislators suspicious of Gov. Martinez filming them in the Roundhouse.

Taco Bell unveils baked potato wrapped in a tortilla.

State cop takes a woman into custody and then has sex with her in his patrol car on their way to jail. No charges are filed.

Guy slices his tongue to get his wife back.

The Tea Party says it’s Romney’s fault.

Your brain and music.

Welcome to Middle-Earth Airlines.

Diane Sawyer, drinking wine, taking meds, making coke jokes.

The worst appearances of musicians in sci-fi movies.

Google unveils JAM, which is, roughly, Garage Band. Here’s other stuff Google has wasted money on.

For balance: Forgotten Apple products of yore.

For x-mas, please buy me a petri dish ornament.

Puerto Rico is thinking it wants to be a state.

Neil Gaiman writes some “Doctor Who,” tries to salvage the glory of the Cybermen.

V.21 No.33 | 8/16/2012

This Just In

Inquiring Minds

Thanks to creepy algorithmic autocomplete search capabilities, I was just allowed an enlightening glimpse into the top ten burning questions fellow pilgrims in the area have been posing to the All-Knowing, All-Seeing Oracle, Google.

How do I tell if...

my dog has a fever?

I have bed bugs?

my Mac is 64 bit?

I'm pregnant?

my phone is unlocked?

I'm ovulating?

a girl likes me?

a mango is ripe?

eggs are still good?

my Coach purse is real?

V.21 No.9 | 3/1/2012


Let’s Play Global Thermonuclear War

Nukemap is a handy online app that allows you to rain some nuclear annihilation down on your hometown (or any town for that matter). Simply input the GoogleMaps location you’d like to destroy and select the historical payload you want to unleash. (Do you feel like the dainty 16-kiloton “Little Boy” or the whopping 3.3-megaton Chinese ICBM today?) Then, push the button and see if your neighborhood survives. Probably not. It’s scary and fun ... and educational too, I guess.

V.20 No.52 |


The Daily Word in what happened in 2011, what's coming in 2012, a divorce over something that happened in the 1940's

The Daily Word

Beloved elderly man dies in the cold on his porch in La Mesilla, NM.

New state laws for 2012 bring about happy hour bans, fire-breathing regulations and more.

Canadian drug found successful in treating ovarian cancer.

99-year-old Italian man divorcing his wife of 77 years over her 1940's affair.

Anti-theft butt cheek recognition car seats.

Amazon, Facebook and Google consider a coordinated anti-SOPA blackout.

Target becomes target (hehe) for large public gathering of breast-feeding moms.

CNN's top stories of 2011.

Too bad Christmas is over: I would have wanted a Batman iPod dock with built in taser.

Let's make some New Year's Eve resolutions.

Fox apologizes to Jews for Facebook poll on Jesus' death.

Words of comfort: Russia test fires long-range missile with new warhead.

Apparently Rihanna's forehead has its own Uncyclopedia page.

Thanks C!

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