It's Velen-Times! Use this quiz to find out which of your sexual fantasies are shared by your mate. Don't worry. Only matching perversions show up in the results. Your secret "Bernie on a jet ski" dream will never get out.
EPFL scientists have developed a robot arm that is strong enough to pick up heavy objects, but sensitive enough to pick up an egg. Sexbot wars, engage!
If you can't figure out how to make your partner dump you in 10 seconds flat, call a taxi and cross your fingers that ABQ's Karaoke cab shows up (like gonorrhea, it appears when you least expect it).
Life-sized Star Wars sculptures made entirely from Legos are making an appearance at the New York Toy Fair. (Editor's note: Insert virgin nerd joke here).
How's this for romance? Mites are having sex on your face right now. I think that counts as an orgy. High five!
Want to make your partner feel like an under-achiever? Tell them about the man who cycled from India to Sweden to be with his sweetheart. (Don't mention that if it hadn't worked out, this whole thing would have been about the world's creepiest stalker, instead).
Are you a hopeless un-romantic who hates this ridiculous holiday? Well you're not alone. Read this op-ed by self-proclaimed "Valentine's Day Grinch", Winthrope Quigley of the ABQ Journal.
Another police brutality case, but this time there's actual consequences.
Learn about the feud between a Chinese artist and Lego.
Pintrest made it look so easy.
Science takes a step away from sexism.
Two NASA astronauts start their first spacewalk today.
There may be new movies with the quality of Jem and the Holograms. Yay.
Scientists getting closer to learning the truth behind the possible Alien mega-structure.
Justifying the use of tear gas during Sunday's anti-police-violence demonstration, APD chief Eden points to a man allegedly wielding an AK-47.
The dialogue concerning APD's pattern of employing lethal force is taking place on some interesting social media pages.
Media outlets across the nation are picking up the story of James Boyd's death and the resultant public outrage.
A boy in Utah found the remains of an ancient Native American.
Kelly's Brewpub is canning their beer using a mobile cannery.
Defunct peanut butter manufacturer Sunland ended up dumping all their left-over jars of peanut butter.
Glenn Beck is the subject of a defamation suit related to the Boston Marathon bombings.
This guy is going to sleep inside a bear for two weeks.
Attention: Lego is a tool of Satan.
Instagram claims the right to sell your photos.
Rappers on Instagram.
Nielson agrees to buy Arbitron.
Sixty seconds of (almost) silence at a Lamb of God concert.
A Swedish lady had skeleton sex.
Drunk Ron Swanson dances.
72 years of Batman logos.
Ducks are the best.
Is it Christmas?
Albuquerque has $5.5 million to spend on Alibi ads.
A man escaped from an Albuquerque SWAT unit.
The adventures of Anthony Chavez.
Happy birthday Keith Richards.
Thanks to Susan Petersen, Oskar Petersen and Jacob Sanchez for the links.
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia talks to Piers Morgan.
Suicide bombing in Bulgaria targeting Israeli vacationers.
George Zimmerman gives his first interview, has no
Man attacked by swarm of bees in Las Cruces.
Attempted kidnapping in Philadelphia caught on tape.
Rockstar astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson explains why the original Star Trek Enterprise is the best ship ever.
Chick-Fil-A President Dan Cathy is totally not gay.
There is a town called Bikinis, TX and I want to go there.
Maybe you should just shut up and make some peach cobbler this weekend?
78-year-old actor Fred Willard arrested at Los Angeles adult movie theater.
Kick out the jams, it's Leap Day!
Catholic priest in Washington D.C. denies lesbian communion at her mother's funeral mass, leaves during eulogy.
Romney manages to win in Michigan and Arizona.
Lockdown at 5 APS schools after student found with gun.
Was that the dean from "Community" accepting an Oscar on Sunday?
I'm sorry, but this is just jacked.
McDonald's newest/saddest sandwich is the McBaguette.
The Pirate Bay replaces all torrent links with magnet links, nothing really changes.
Women's health experts discuss birth control.
Kickstarter poised to provide more arts funding than the National Endowment of the Arts.
Was Elvis' manager, Colonel Parker a murderer?
New bat species discovered in Vietnam.
After seeing these official LEGO Avengers sets, I'm still not sure who the villains in the movie are going to be.
Nice collection of unproduced Star Wars merchandise.
Is it even possible to fix The Phantom Menace? (YES!)
"The Wire" wind up toys you'll never see in your happy meal.
Say it with me: umami
The owner of the Guild is appealing his 2008 fine for showing an adult movie during the Pornotopia Festival.
Navy Seals rescue an American held by Somali pirates.
Apple earned $13 billion last quarter.
You can't hide behind your encrypted computer anymore.
A Georgia Representative is trying to pass a law making it illegal to Photoshop heads on naked bodies.
Meanwhile, in Oklahoma a lawmaker wants to ban the use of human fetuses in the production of food. Wait, what?
Awesome article on President Garfield's assassination.
Lego Minecraft? Yes please!
Epic interview with Maurice Sendak on Colbert last night. EPIC!
You don't have to be a douchebag to enjoy this $100 cognac-infused bratwurst, but it helps.
Soon we'll be stealing cars from the Pirate Bay.
The Cranberries are back?
Finally "his schlong" is a Family Feud answer.
How The Return of the Jedi should have ended.
R.I.P. Dick Tufeld, voice of Robot from Lost in Space.
North Korea's Kim Jong Un may share power with his uncle.
Gary Johnson to leave the Republican party and run for president as a Libertarian.
Veteran calls Newt Gingrich a "Fucking Asshole" at an Iowa grocery store campaign stop.
Fire damages a Heights stripmall.
Canada may have found a vaccine to prevent AIDS.
People are starting to freak out about Ron Paul winning.
A man thought to be a John Wayne Gacy victim found alive and well in Oregon.
US Chamber of Commerce was hacked.
Wendy's is about to overtake Burger King to become the second-largest fast food chain in terms of sales.
Surgeon removes a pen from a woman's stomach 25 years after she swallowed it.
Bored? Lonely? Unemployable? The Emergency Hall and Oates Line is here to help with whatever is ailing you.
Six steps to achieve your 2012 resolutions.
Bill Murray didn't care for the script to Ghostbusters 3.
Top 10 creepiest Santa Clauses.
The unexplained mysteries of 2011.
The most expensive apartment in Manhattan sold for $88 million to a 22-year-old.
How to Make It in America, Hung and Bored to Death all cancelled by HBO.
Obama and Leno play softball on the Tonight Show.
Members of the Delta Sigma Theta sorority are on alert after four members are sexually assaulted.
It's almost never a good idea to have sex on a public bus.
The last B53 nuclear bomb has been dismantled.
87-year-old man busted with 104 bricks of cocaine.
Group calls for Pat Buchanan to be fired from MSNBC after he appears on a pro-White talk show.
Giant Lego man washes up on Florida beach.
I like asparagus, but I'd eat more if it was spray-painted gold.
Why is Beavis and Butthead back?
The 18th century Copiale Cipher has been cracked.
Disney won't let Johnny Depp talk to ABC stations about his upcoming film The Rum Diary.
Stephen King's Dark Tower series is coming to HBO.
Creepy old audio recordings here.
Andy Rooney hospitalized.
Burger King knows better than to offer this All-You-Can-Eat Whopper deal in America.
The 10 best episodes of the 1967 Spider-Man cartoon.
Parks & Rec + Breaking Bad = Parks & Meth
Alex Eyler is an artist and a Lego enthusiast. In my book, that makes him awesome. One of his biggest obsessions is movies. This week, in honor of the 83rd annual Academy Award nominations, he released images of the 10 films nominated for Best Picture done up in Lego bricks and custom minifigs. Just look at little Jeff Bridges and his scowl. So cute!
The ethereal, sparsely designed, and downright beautiful Ico and Shadow of the Colossus are rumored to have HD versions coming in Q1 2011. Hopefully this means The Last Guardian will be out around the same time (sooner would be better, though. Pretty please?).
South Korean internet game addict who let his baby starve to death gets 2 years in jail. His wife's sentence was suspended because she's pregnant with another child.
The new Lego Harry Potter: Years 1-4 trailer looks sweet.
Video gamers are more able to control their dreams. Dennis Quaid was right!
Natal price revealed by "trusted source". $149 standalone or as part of a bundle with the Xbox 360 Arcade version for $299.
Shock, surprise: Mass Effect coming to the big screen.
I spent the majority of my gaming time this weekend checking out Jason Rohrer's recent indie release, Sleep Is Death, an interactive story tool that gets as much of its DNA from improvisational theater as it does from old school gaming. Participants are cast into one of two roles: controller or player, and connect to each other via the Internet. The controller interface provides tools for setting the player in a scene, and adding objects (people, dogs, zombies, etc.) to the scene for the player to interact with. The player's interface allows them to talk by typing into a speech bubble, and to tell the controller what actions they'd like to perform by typing verbs into an action box. This interaction plays back and forth, from scene to scene until the story reaches some sort of conclusion.
By default, each person has 30 seconds to take their turn, so playing the controller takes a fair amount of prep time in the controller interface. So far I've spent the majority of my time with the game there, getting used to the tools, building scenes, creating objects (persons, things) out of sprites, etc. The graphics have a real Gameboy Advance look to them, which gives Sleep Is Death a very classic feel. At first it was a little hard to see the possibilities given Rohrer's sample imagery - he's more of a programmer than a graphic artist - but after seeing Shannon Galvin's excellent "Are We Home?", I was sold.
I'm still not entirely certain where Sleep Is Death will take me. The $14 price includes 2 copies, one for each player, and I've passed my second copy on to a friend, but we've not jumped into a game as yet. Digging into the controller interface has been really interesting and addictive, though, so that should keep me occupied for a while. Rohrer has posted some sample playthroughs on his site that are quite good, and I've found a large, unfiltered collection of them at sidtube.com, which also has forums, IRC, art resources and a wiki.
Kirtland Air Force Base loses 18 F-16 fighter jets, and hundreds of jobs.
Are invisible aliens already here and are we just too stupid to see them?
Why you should ignore expiration dates.
Jackass Congressman empathizes with the suicide bomber who flew his plane into an Austin IRS building last week.
More than 400 passengers on a Caribbean cruise are sick at sea.
Action Comics #1 sells for a million dollars at auction.
Should you eat that food you just dropped on the floor?
This Lego robot can solve a Rubix Cube in 10 seconds.
The largest solar power plant in the US is going to be built in New Mexico.
Charlie Sheen checks into rehab, will still not be funny when he returns.