The Mewment is Now
Friday, Jan 6: Cat Lady Crafts Reception
Saturday, Nov 5: Orale Lowrider: Custom Made in New Mexico
Saturday, May 7: OutSpoken Queer Poetry
Every native New Mexican knows about La Llorona: a scorned woman, betrayed by her baby-daddy goes mad and kills her children. The tale is told to dumb kids to keep them inside at night and away from arroyos, eternally.
I thought kids were taught about this in school until I talked to my friends about it. I asked a few people if this had been their experience, but it seems like I’m the only one. I’ll chalk it up to parallel universe issue (like the Berenstain/
For those of you new-locals who didn’t grow up here, this is what went down. There’s a few different versions, so if anyone tells you this is wrong, hear them out. But okay, so this super foxy lady (Maria, @La_Llorona) gets married to this rich dude. And they’re really happy together! What! And then guess what? They have two kids! Wow! Happy marriage and kids? What could get better! Um, nothing (if you’re into that kinda thing).
Since it can only go downhill from there, the dude ends up cheating on her with a slew of women and starts drinking heavily. He turns into a real fuck boy, like, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. And then this motherfucker gets with a younger woman who is richer than Maria. Wtf?? So Maria, being the trooper she is, moves forward with her life, whatever. She’s totally over it.
Well, one day she’s walking with her kids along a river and her POS Husband comes along in this (probably) dope ass carriage with his new lady. He stops and talks to the kids but get this: he completely ignores Maria. Rude. So eventually he leaves and she just snaps. Like how at Balloon Fiesta, when none of the food vendors have any vegetarian options after the balloons go up (I almost became a cannibal once, let’s not talk about it), you know what I mean? Anyway, so she drowns her kids. Drowns them! Drowns ‘em dead! And then after they’re dead they just float away down the river.
After she realized what she did she actually went insane. She just walked along the river crying till she died. She cried herself to death. Well, probably things like dehydration, starvation, lack of sleep were the actual reasons she died, but she would have taken care of those things if she wasn’t crying.
So her spirit continued in the afterlife looking for her innocent babies. No idea what her plan is after that, but I’ve never been in that situation before, so I can’t really talk. But neither can she. Because she’s dead. Unless you count her wailing, sobbing, and general calling out for her eternally lost kids.
So that’s it! Tragic, right? Moral of the story: Live like Big Sean when you’re near the river and you hear a yell, leave (i.e. I don’t fuck with you ft. E-40). Except actually, you should because it’s probably someone in danger.
Get Crazy as a Cat
Le Chat Lunatique • dirty jazz
Flash in the Pan
You Say Hominy, We Eat Posole
Dig into a traditional New Mexican dish
Pictures on the Wall
Cervantes Restaurant & Lounge
Red Chile Heaven
In a town filled with New Mexican options, Patricia’s is a cut above the rest
The Daily Word in beer can houses, busted child pornography rings and online auctions
Pope Francis declares that homosexuals shouldn't be marginalized or judged.
A recent study shows the top food choking hazards for children. Hint: Don't be giving them no hard candy.
In a major sweep, FBI arrest 150 pimps and rescue 105 children in a massive child prostitution ring.
Bill expected to pass which would create better interest rates on student loans, but it's not without its critics.
Officials estimate that the damage is up to $1 million after a severe storm hit Burque on Friday.
Going once! Going twice! Get your New Mexican unclaimed items right here!
19-year-old Justin Covey, who was reported missing yesterday, has been found by Albuquerque police and returned to his parents.
Austin has the Cathedral of Junk. Houston has a house covered in beer cans.
Cable darling, red chile queen
It was a cold and snowy Sunday morning when I first went to Cecilia’s. The air smelled like piñon smoke. Inside, it was still chilly sitting by the old brick wall at the south end of the dining room. I noticed a wood stove at the other end, so I switched seats. There was a woman sitting next to the stove sorting a big sack of pinto beans.
The Great Mex-Vex
It’s time to stop branding every tortilla-based dish created as “Mexican” and show a little respect. Much of what we’re served in stateside Mexican restaurants would hardly be recognized in Mexico. Foods do cross over international borders and state lines, and truly “authentic” cuisine is difficult to define anymore, but c’mon. There’s no reason to lump together distinct culinary traditions like Mexican, New Mexican, Tex-Mex and Cal-Mex.
Eat This Book: At Home With The Range Café
The Range Café began the same way the Alibi did—penniless in the autumn of 1992. (The Range has a month of seniority, opening on Sept. 2 to the Alibi’s Oct. 9.) After inflation, the Alibi is still basically penniless. The Range, meanwhile, has three locations worldwide. And it’s even gotten into the publishing business.
Best New Mexican Restaurant
If massive portions, killer Margaritas and a bustling atmosphere are the criteria for best New Mexican restuarant in Albuquerque, Sadie's is as down-home Land of Enchantment as you can get. Plus, there’s the salsa. Oh, the salsa. Don't be a tourist—get the hot variety. (MD)
Quesada's New Mexican Restaurant
Imagine for a moment that New Mexico is a sovereign land—a nation similar to the state we inhabit, but one that evolved strictly by its own devices, with no meddling from outsiders. It would be a place with its own official dictionary, wherein “Christmas” is formalized as a verb with several conjugated forms, as in: I would have Christmased my enchiladas, but August is such a green month.
John and Donna’s La Casita
Get it while it’s hot
When you enter La Casita in Bernalillo, you’re greeted with a pair of chile-shaped chalkboards announcing the relative strengths of the red and green that day. Last time I went, the red was “hot” and the green was “extra-hot.”