V.24 No.45 | 11/05/2015
The Daily Word in the Feds, football and propulsion systems that defy physics
By August March [ Sun Nov 8 2015 11:59 AM ]
Federal investigators are interested in goings-on within Governor Susana Martinez' administration.
South by Southwest, Austin's yearly alternative music event, is the best way to see a year's worth of live music in a long weekend. Hint: it's not too late to find a Southwest flight to Austin and the hotels haven't sold out, yet.
The Lobo Football squad held off a fourth quarter field goal attempt to beat Utah State 14-13 at University Stadium on Saturday afternoon.
Wapo's teevee critic Hank Stuever laments the Donald's appearance on SNL.
The NM Environment Department will begin coordinating clean up efforts of a downtown Albuquerque toxic waste spill discovered in the 1990s.
NASA's Eagleworks Laboratories continues to test the controversial EmDrive.
V.24 No.43 | 10/22/2015
Fame ft. Megan
By Megan Reneau [ Thu Oct 22 2015 2:57 PM ]
Last Friday, I had just arrived at work and my supervisor Ty told me to follow him to “a thing” (he was very specific). I grabbed my water bottle and went with him. I thought maybe a meeting was happening and I just didn't see the email, but we went to the lobby and there was a photographer there. Then they started talking about beer and I got excited—free beer is my favorite kind (unless it's not craft, then keep your dirt juice away from me)!
Fate had other plans. Instead I was going to be interviewed with Ty about new breweries in town which meant no free beer. We went outside and stood in front of the office and as the photographer set up, I noticed a chill in the wind and remembered the one other time I've knowingly been on the news 12 years prior.
I was ten, my Mom brought me to a community gathering. It was about a sex offender that was moving to a place near our home. It was intense but I didn't listen to any of it. I likely sat on her lap the entire time wishing I was home. I was uncomfortable being in a school after hours and the place was packed. I didn't understand why we were there. There wasn't anything more to learn about the man or the situation that hadn’t been reported on television. I knew the guy was bad, but it's not like anyone could stop him from moving there.
After the meeting, when everyone was eating snacks, my Mom was interviewed by a local news station. Since I was with her—she was my ride, after all—I stayed by her side during. I remember at the end of her interview, the reporter asked me a couple questions not pertaining to the event (in retrospect, maybe it did a little) like where I went to school and what I liked to learn about. I think he poked my belly but maybe I'm imagining that. I've never really enjoyed being the center of attention unless I’m making a joke (or I’m waiting for a bartender).
The following day at school I remember kids (popular kids!) telling me they saw me on the news and that I looked good, all of which was foreign to 10-year-old Megan. I was on cloud nine. I felt famous. During the interview with Ty, I couldn't tell if I was in the shot so I slowly tried to edge my way out of it. I didn't say anything till the cameraman/reporter said I had been quiet and asked if I had anything to add. I did have a few words, and they misquoted me in the write-up. No one talked to me about it afterwards, but that's fine, because you're reading about it now and that's all the fame I need.
V.24 No.42 | 10/15/2015
The News You Missed
Important information from the e-mail archive
By Ty Bannerman [ Fri Oct 16 2015 10:11 AM ]
Sad to say, we here at the Alibi aren’t omniscient. In fact, we can barely even keep up with the press releases that appear in our email inboxes, let alone the doings of all sources of knowledge and information in the universe.
Recently, we decided to stop trying to be omniscient. And then, right after that, we decided to stop trying to keep up with our email in-boxes.
BUT there are still some press releases that get sent to us which for whatever reason we can't fit into the print edition of the paper, but still might be interesting to our readers.
So, here it is, the inaugural roundup of The News You Missed, where the Alibi rescues important press release headlines from the dustbin history.
This headline pretty much sums up why I am not a vegan. But if you're a vegan who loves powder, this is relevant to your interests!
Are you Alibi readers aware of how to behave safely around lead?
Rule #1: Don't eat lead.
Rule #2: Don’t feed it to your baby.
Rule #3: Just leave lead alone. Because you may be tempted to eat it or feed it to your baby.
In conclusion, fuck lead.
Tailgating Story: Throw a Pizza on the Grill
Unfortunately, I can't find a website with this important press release on it, but rest assured that throwing a pizza on a grill is a thing you can do, and a publicist out there thinks it would make a great story.
Sorry, New York, but this happened and there’s nothing anybody can do about it now.
There it is, the News You Missed, gathered up into one convenient blog package so that you, our beloved readers, may now go about the rest of your life as a slightly more informed member of the public. You're welcome.
Check back next Friday for more News You Missed!
V.24 No.41 | 10/08/2015
The Daily Word on Aliens, Entertainment, and Politics
By Cerridwen Stucky [ Thu Oct 8 2015 3:12 PM ]
Your favorite cartoon about a metal band needs your help to end.
Indigenous Peoples Day became an official thing in Albuquerque.
The new season of American Horror Story is making headlines, be they good or bad.
A local woman claims to know of a bomb at Winrock last night.
Slime in apple juice makes some people exited about aliens.
Country-turned-pop singer Taylor Swift is facing very little piracy. Why aren't you stealing her stuff?
Gay people are allowed to do things in Indiana once more.
It costs more, but you'll pay it gladly. Netflix ups their price by one whole US dollar.
A Burque family is rescued by their wonderful dog.
V.24 No.40 | 10/1/2015
The Daily Word: Debunking Trump
By Robert Maestas [ Thu Sep 24 2015 11:57 AM ]
Ain’t no fun (If my generals can’t have none)
Motion by hand.
Satan Solutions, pushing your company DOWN.
The ills of media parenting.
V.24 No.38 | 9/17/2015
The Daily Word: The Triumphant Survival of Ink & Paper
By Robert Maestas [ Wed Sep 16 2015 12:36 PM ]
Damn, that’s a sexy treat.
Don’t get “high-jacked.”
In money we trust (people to make art with it)
Space birds eye view.
The Phantom Pain.
The Daily Word in Copwatch & Sex Robots
By Robert Maestas [ Thu Sep 10 2015 1:30 PM ]
A couple 8balls for my sweetie.
V.24 No.35 | 8/27/2015
The Daily Word: Welcome to Dismaland
By Robert Maestas [ Wed Aug 26 2015 10:59 AM ]
Hay! Slow Down!
black holes 2: electric boogaloo.
The Daily Word: Flamethrowers & Holograms
By Robert Maestas [ Thu Aug 20 2015 4:20 PM ]
Never trust a city to do the people’s job
To save a skunk
STAND UP FOR FLAMETHROWER RIGHTS!
Siri saves lives
People in a crowd
The worlds weirdest book
V.24 No.28 | 7/9/2015
The Daily Word: How To Be An Expert (in anything)
By Robert Maestas [ Wed Aug 19 2015 1:07 PM ]
School to Prison Pipeline
He who controls the present, controls the past
The wrong side of history
How to be an EXPERT! (w/ Neil deGrasse Tyson)
Behind the Logo
Art, Taking OVER your town squares
Cyclone of Bullshit
V.24 No.34 | 8/20/2015
The Daily Word: Albuquerque is Just Plain Weird & The So-So Whatever Plan To Stop the Apocalypse.
By Robert Maestas [ Thu Aug 13 2015 11:58 AM ]
Explosions in Tianjin.
Carry on my Wayward Gwar. (r.i.p. dave brockie)
Art is nature.
TWA Flight 260 Crash Site. (Shit I never knew existed here)
V.24 No.28 | 7/9/2015
The Daily Word: Real Monsters
By Robert Maestas [ Wed Aug 12 2015 11:23 AM ]
One brush equation at a time...
Where the colors live.
I get nervous when you watch.
To measure a star.
V.24 No.32 | 8/6/2015
All the news that’s fit to eat
By Ty Bannerman
Ty Bannerman has the scoop that’s going into your mouth.
V.24 No.28 | 7/9/2015
The Daily Word: The Science of Ghosts
By Robert Maestas [ Wed Aug 5 2015 12:42 PM ]
Holy Post-Its, Batman!
A new Solar System.
Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The Science of Ghosts.
V.24 No.30 | 07/23/2015
The Daily Word: Herding Cattle
By Robert Maestas [ Wed Jul 29 2015 3:02 PM ]
look ma! we're on TV! again.
xenomorph takes russia.
insert obligatory breaking bad albuquerque news here.
to be, or not to be on the lam.
freedom of expression.
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