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V.25 No.14 | 04/07/2016

The Daily Word in Real Fake Art, Black Helicopters and Soft Landings

The Daily Word

Tech freaks in the Netherlands created a new Rembrandt painting with a 3D printer. They used "deep learning" algorithms to analyze style and brush stroke depth. God bless them.

SpaceX successfully landed their rocket on an experimental floating ocean drone! But don't expect to ever see me on Mars unless it's just like Astronaut Jones.

So I've been telling people that when they develop super robot eyes with hyper-HD and x-ray vision, I'm gonna pop the old models out of my head and roll them into the gutter. Look at this intensely painful optical illusion and see if you don't agree with me. Ouch. My brain am equal hurt!

Speaking of robot sex; a clever study showed that people will still have emotional reactions to anthropomorphic robots, even if they don't look human. How it worked: A robot tells you to touch its hand, then touch its neck, then its buttocks. Guess what. Touching a strange plastic ass makes people just as uncomfortable as the real thing.

Apparently, FBI and DHS have been flying secret surveillance missions over ABQ since last fall, sometimes spending more than an hour circling areas of the city. At least one of these planes was outfitted with FLIR thermal detection and a type of augmented reality program that overlays street data on top of live video. AP blew the whistle just last year on surveillance planes being deployed all over the country through FBI shell corporations. Boy, do I feel safe and completely comfortable with this information. I hope everyone is reading this.

V.25 No.2 | 01/14/2016

The Daily Word in Rubik's Cubes, Rockets and the Plague

The Daily Word

The state's first ever skijoring competition began yesterday. It's a sport that combines downhill skiing, horseback riding and water skiing, apparently. Scratch your head all you like, the world still won't make any sense.

David Bowie's music sales made up 25% of this week's Top 40, with 241,000 albums and 167,000 singles sold. Still waiting on the numbers from the platform shoes and glitter markets.

Argentina's complicated economic problems (like the bizarre coin shortage related to black market bus fares) has made it the the perfect spot for bitcoin to strut its stuff.

A lunatic with a 3D printer has created a functioning 22x22 Rubik's cube. If solved, it will open a doorway to Hell (I assume).

Two Santa Fe dogs were treated for the plague. City officials remind citizens to keep pets away from dead animals. Don't worry. The dogs are ok.

SpaceX will be attempting to launch and land a rocket today. Watch the live feed at 11:42am, or check in later to see how it fared.

A 32-acre fake town, complete with graffitied street signs, traffic lights and storefronts has been built near the University of Michigan to test self-driving cars.

A report concludes that negligence was to blame for the shipping of live anthrax from an Army biodefense lab to spots all over the country and abroad. Cough. This does not help my hypochondria.

A city official in Cranston, RI talked a man into disguising himself as a woman to improve a photo op.

New Mexico company develops a sweet-ass hoverboard. For a mere $19,900, you can make me one happy writer.

V.24 No.27 | 7/2/2015

news

The Daily Word in rocket explosion, one more second and the ugliest dog in the world

The Daily Word

We will be gaining one second tomorrow, thanks to the "Time Officials."

A very large pig was rescued from a dead hoarder's home, thanks to the Detroit Police Department.

In other Detroit news, a woman pled guilty to murdering her two "demon" children and storing their bodies in a deep freezer.

The debt crisis in Greece is screwing up the global economy.

Shortly after launch, a SpaceX rocket exploded.

A heat-packing pizza delivery driver shot an armed robber at a Duke City Domino's last night.

The bassist and cofounder of the band Yes has died at the age of 67.

A canine named "Quasi Modo" won the blue ribbon for World's Ugliest Dog.

Presidential candidate Donald Trump hasn't voted in 25 years.

Watch the poetic justice of this confederate flag-waving motorcade (NSFW).

V.22 No.9 |

news

The Daily Word in sequester, sinkhole, silly Dragon

The Daily Word

Obama is meeting with Congressional leaders in a last-ditch effort to stave off the sequester which includes $85 billion in automatic across-the-board domestic and defense cuts set to take effect today.

The search continues for a man considered armed and dangerous in Tijeras canyon.

What's it like to run a Pope-less Catholic church?

Bye bye Pope, hello new bishop in Las Cruces.

A Florida man is presumed dead after the bedroom in which he was sleeping suddenly collapsed into a 30-foot wide sinkhole and swallowed up the entire room.

The Dragon's up there, but she ain't workin'.

New hope for Dixon's Apple Orchard.

Florida police say a man who reported a missing crowbar to police faces charges after he admitted that the tool was used in two home invasions.

"im not turnin my self....run run as fast as u can u cant catch me im da ginger bread man......sincierly da gingerbread man,"

V.21 No.47 |

news

The Daily Word in Obamacare challenge, LiLo's new movie, Gangnam Christmas

Happy Cyber Monday!

The Daily Word

Save money, but be safe.

The supreme court has revived a Christian college's challenge to Obamacare.

Lobos hold it together for a 69-54 win over Portland to take record to 6-0.

Just how bad was Lindsay Lohan's new movie?

Real ID Act has some New Mexicans scrambling to get their passports.

Woman arrested after reportedly riding a manatee for thrills.

A clown collapsed and died while blowing up balloons at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

A Black Friday shopper died after being tackled by Wal-Mart eployees.

Man parked on a median off of Academy charged with his fourth DWI.

A NASA astronaut and Russian cosmonaut will spend a full year aboard the ISS to study how the human body reacts and adapts to the space environment.

SpaceX founder wants to help colonize Mars.

Christmas lights Gangnam style.

60-square-mile Sandy Island shown on Google maps does not appear to actually exist.

Five members of the LANL security force fired for "improper use of a live fire shooting range."

What our friends would be like if they were cats and dogs.

Pinterest fails.

V.21 No.40 | 10/4/2012

news

The Daily Word in wedding fights, puking celebrities, rescued ducks

The Daily Word

Romney and Obama are all tied up.

SpaceX’s Dragon spacecraft launched successfully yesterday towards the ISS.

Lobo football caught another win over the weekend.

One dead and three arrested after a massive brawl between two wedding parties in Philly.

Lady Gaga upstages the Biebs and vomits three times during a performance in Barcelona without missing a beat.

Altitude sickness” seems to be the main reason so many darn people visit the Balloon Fiesta ER. President Obama can relate.

Felix Baumgartner’s supersonic free fall will go down tomorrow over Roswell, pending weather conditions.

Group of grown-up rescue ducks experience a pond for the first time, adorableness ensues.

Three teens who broke out of a juvenile corrections facility in Sandoval County are now back in custody.

Two pre-teen girls arrested after sneaking back into a school and spending the night there running through the halls, eating snacks, making prank phone calls and hacking into computers.

High School students in Illinois suspended for eating mints at school.

Men’s costumes vs. women’s costumes.

British teen has to have a large part of her stomach removed after indulging in a nitrogen-infused cocktail.

Mitt Romney does have fabulous hair.

Today's Events

Third Annual Jewish Film Festival at Jewish Community Center

The Midnight Orchestra, the story of the son of a once famous Jewish musician, Marcel Botbol. Directed by Jérôme Cohen Olivar.

Mondays on the Mic • Bobby Tucker • variety at Tractor Brewing Wells Park

Mastering the BJ: Interactive Skills at Self Serve

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