Lance Armstrong paid a motorcycle courier.
Eric Clapton sold a Richter painting for $34 million.
Meanwhile, other valuable paintings were stolen.
Hillary takes one for the team.
The allure of Zumba.
Let’s go to Berlin. On drugs.
Regretsy promotes artists.
People dress up in costumes.
There’s no such person as “Dave on Wheels.”
I love animals. Especially that moving lizard.
Somebody crashed into a Target.
Somebody made a threat against the Century Rio movie theater.
A homeless man confessed to murder. The police let him go. They do things by the book.
Happy birthday Suzanne Somers.
Thanks to Jen Lipow Silfer and Constance Moss for the assists.
Obama has 99 problems.
Internet addiction is a mental illness.
Let’s watch some Target training videos.
Joss Whedon is making a S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show.
Loitering teens can wreck your business.
Here are GPS coordinates to a bigfoot place.
Ben Radford gives us a history of religious hoaxes.
Sexy celebrity photoshop guys.
Tinfoil hats amplify mind control rays.
Councilor Michael Cook says balloons need more places to land.
Burglary is on the rise in Rio Rancho.
Tucanos got in trouble for where they put their signs.
Thanks to Nayder and Maliskas for the assists.
The Bob Costas/Jerry Sandusky interview was one of the creepiest things I’ve ever heard. Sandusky says he showered with boys, but claims he is not a pedophile.
When Disneyland is old-hat; a Singapore family drops $1 million to take the Virgin Galactic space flight.
More than 80,000 people have signed a petition for Target to close its doors on Thanksgiving.
This woman bit her boyfriend’s arm and tore off his shirt after she discovered McDonald’s had switched over to breakfast.
Vodka-soaked tampons are all the rage. And yes, they still go exactly where you’d expect them to.
Mongolia’s capitol Ulan Bator bids on an ice shield experiment, designed to store winter temperatures in a giant brick of ice.
An Albuquerque toddler is going to live after her father cut her throat.
PNM is shutting down all of its payment centers next month.
This South Carolina teacher was accused of making students rub her feet.
The visual imagery of a naked runner colliding with barbed wire is too much to bear.
Take a look at FastRunner, a robot ostrich that’s quickly going viral.
Thanks to Constance Moss and Emily Anderson for some of today’s fun-filled links.
UNM students protest Chick-fil-A for donating money to groups that oppose gay rights.
Sarah the lion at the zoo has died.
KOB grills Occupy Albuquerque protesters for solutions.
“We have a permit. It’s called the Constitution.” —Occupy Boston.
Gov. Susana Martinez’ PAC took in thousands during the legislative session, though state law prohibits politicos from doing so directly.
Target promises to sell only sustainable seafood by 2015.
Gawker dubs FOX News article on funny, sexy women possibly the most horrifying thing ever written.
Top headline of the day: Why are these galaxies bending like crazy snakes?
Slutoween is coming!
King of Bhutan marries a commoner. Trendy.
Why some women are not getting married.
Thanks to Frank for sending me this one.
I'm sure you see plenty of asshole parking jobs, take a picture and email me.
Obama says America should be as good as 9-year-old Christina Taylor Green imagined it to be. Here's the full text.
What Gov. Martinez has to say about being sued by environmentalists.
The guv is also suggesting the state bleed CNM for cash.
Officials are moving a sex-offender registration location away from a bus stop.
Target wants to build a Target in the air Uptown.
Someone pulled a fire alarm at The Pit, forcing evacuation with one second left in the first half.
These people will name their baby after you if you find their dog.
Romanian birds died of the drink.
NPR photo essay: Then and now, a year after the quake in Haiti.
Landslides kill hundreds in Brazil.
Twin sisters turn 100.
Hard cider is back.
Don't have sex with your mister or mistress in the marital bed.
Tom Hanks' son, Chet, is a rapper who likes to smoke fancy weed in fancy places.
How about a nuclear car?