V.24 No.8 | 02/19/2015
The Daily Word in alien license plates, the religion of Cher and gerbils causing the plague
By Amelia Olson [ Tue Feb 24 2015 10:35 AM ]
It's Tuesday and the sun is shining here in Albuquerque. JK! It's freezing.
It’s snowing! It’s snowing! CLOSE ALL THE SCHOOLS! CANCEL WORK!
You’re chewing too loud! Apparently there is a name for the feeling of rage you experience when the person next to you is breathing too loud.
Rats are not to blame for the Black Death! A new study suggests gerbils are the actual culprits in the “second plague pandemic.”
Feeding your baby peanut butter might prevent her from serious nut allergies in the future. Peanut butter for the win! PS. Don’t try this at home.
Cher calls out Arkansas governor Asa Hutchinson for vetoing a bill that would allow for more LGBT anti-discrimination laws. Like we needed any more reasons to worship Cher.
New Mexico wants to offer license plates that have anything from aliens to horned lizards on them. Duh. Let them do it.
V.23 No.20 | 5/15/2014
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #347: When the Aliens Come We Sleep on the Grass
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue May 13 2014 12:29 PM ]
My sister and I sleep on the grass in the front yard of our childhood home. The whole town has been abducted by aliens. They fly north overhead in lighted cylinders in long procession. The grass around us grows long.
V.22 No.49 | 12/5/2013
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #324: I Get to Fly the Spaceship
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Dec 3 2013 12:30 PM ]
I am permitted to operate the joystick control for our spaceship. It has notches for shifting in and out of different dimensions, as well as increasing the speed. I shift down into the fastest gear and the ship goes into a wild spin. The captain grabs the controls and is able to stop our spin, but is baffled. We debark at the space station where a bound and dangerous alien prisoner is being transferred from another ship onto an elevated deck. The prisoner has eight legs and screams a lot. The captain displays a hologram showing the invisible space turbulence that caused our ship to spin near the station.
V.22 No.48 | 11/28/2013
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #323: Alien Embryos
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Tue Nov 26 2013 12:19 PM ]
My sister and I search a building for alien embryos. We find a lot of them. Our mother arrives to show us her new, high quality, blue-tinged, sticky-backed, crisp register tape she got from the candy machine.
V.22 No.27 |
The Daily Word in BP appeals case, Roswell and Google Doodle and superhero villains
By Mark Lopez [ Mon Jul 8 2013 10:18 AM ]
BP Lawyer cites "irreparable injustices" in how settlement payments are being handled.
Officials probe why a jet that crash landed in San Francisco was flying too slow before it hit the runway.
Authorities search for 40 missing people after a train blast in Quebec town that killed five.
Michael Allen speaks out in speculation over whether Albuquerque police could have spared his brother, Vincent Wood, who was shot multiple times on Friday night.
Albuquerque remembers Austin Hudson-LaPore.
Google Doodle and Roswell? Oh, we're there!
City planners want to make Central a little snazzier! Neon signs anyone?
V.21 No.43 | 10/25/2012
Webgame Wednesday on Thursday: They Took Our Candy
By Devin D. O’Leary [ Thu Oct 25 2012 3:55 PM ]
The invasion of the Halloween-themed horror games continues on Webgame Wednesday. They Took Our Candy is fairly straightforward. Space aliens have invaded the streets of suburbia and snatched up all the good candy. You must assemble your best team of costumed kiddies (different costumes bestow different special powers), and sidescroll your way though wave after wave of monsters from space. Use the candy you gather to upgrade your powers and unlock new costumes (a kitty cat?). Yay, candy!
V.21 No.32 | 8/9/2012
E.T. on the Radio
Aliens dig Earth music in Rob Reid’s Year Zero
Review by John Bear
Rob Reid is the guy who invented Rhapsody, the music streaming service thing you may have heard about. His first book, Year Zero, concerns aliens who’ve stumbled upon Earth music, which has caused their civilization to come to a complete halt because they’re so hooked.
V.21 No.27 |
The Daily Word in tax cuts, Roswell anniversary, mismatched mummies.
By E.J. Maliskas [ Mon Jul 9 2012 9:51 AM ]
All 135 space shuttle launches ... at the same time.
Gov. Hickenlooper lifts fire ban in Colorado.
Obama calls for tax cut extension for the middle class.
Woman killed after a hug with an off-duty cop caused his gun to misfire.
Bodies of Scottish mummies turn out to be composite remains of multiple people.
This couple is extremely devestated over a missing iguana they believe was stolen from their home. Iggy the iguana is worth about $200, but for Abby Jacoby, it's not about the price, "it's about getting back a piece of her family."
Need to catch a burglar? Just follow his potato chip trail.
Allow this video of polar bear cubs playing in the snow to make your day so, so much better.
Let's go to Tatooine!
V.21 No.23 |
The Daily Word in depraved penguin sex and Gordon Ramsay self-destruction
By Tom Nayder [ Mon Jun 11 2012 11:16 AM ]
Military suicide rate at highest level in ten years.
Is the Obama administration using leaks to bolster the President's image?
Small town murder rates are climbing.
It's not gonna happen, Jeb Bush.
Fire at the the downtown Hyatt overnight.
How prepared is the military for the eventual alien invasion?
Georgia widow wins $3 million lawsuit after husband dies during three-way.
"We're not racists, we just want to be with white people." said racist KKK member while defending the group's Adopt-A-Highway application.
Self-destruct with Gordon Ramsay.
Dead toddler comes back to life, then doesn't
The most shoplifted items are …
Trees reveal mysterious 1,200 year old radiation burst.
ATTN sinners: Introvale birth control pills recalled.
Depraved penguin sex scandalized uptight polar explorers.
Don't worry Israel, those weird lights in the sky are just the Russians testing their ICBs.
115 years together is enough for these tortoises.
Fiona Apple has a new album.
Pizza Hut getting into the gross sandwich business.
V.21 No.21 |
The Daily Word in Ad-Rock, aliens vs. gods and working too hard
African American father and son say they were racially profiled, and APD took $17,000 in cash off their hands for no good reason.
Neil Armstrong almost never does interviews, but he spoke with Australian accountants about his trip to the moon.
Ad-Rock talks about MCA's death.
Who puts in the most hours at work, country-wise? How do you stack up?
KRQE scrutinizes New Mexico's pork barrel projects.
George Zimmerman was pretty tight with Sanford police.
Top two Mexican cartels stage public massacres to taunt authorities and frighten civilians.
Office break rooms are disgusting pits of germs, says guy who cares.
There may be no daily newspaper in New Orleans after The Times-Picayune announces cutback plans.
The company that owns Chicago's daily bought its weekly. (That's like the Journal purchasing the Alibi.)
Tennessee walking horse trainer pleads guilty to cruelty.
Egypt is voting for president for the first time.
Can the human race tell aliens from gods?
MIT alleviates an age-old human frustration: getting ketchup out of the bottle.
V.21 No.12 |
The Daily Word in our Alaskan hottie, our favorite sport, our alien artifacts.
By E. J. Maliskas [ Mon Mar 26 2012 9:25 AM ]
It is estimated that 10% to 20% of the country of Mauritania’s 3.4 million people are enslaved.
Theaters are pushing to up the prices of regular movies to bring the prices of 3D movies down. Mmm mmm motion sickness.
New Mexico is the armpit of the sadness of the horse-racing world.
10 things you may not know about the health care reform law.
Area 51 Museum displays authentic alien artifact.
School officials kill teenager's porn star prom dreams.
AFD is upset about nude photo shoot featuring one of their trucks.
Hunger Games opening sets new records.
James Cameron returns safely from the Challenger Deep.
Ladies and gentlemen, The Final Four.
North Korea has transported the main body of a long-range missile in preparation for launching a "satellite ... to mark the 100th anniversary of the birth of founding president Kim Il-Sung."
V.20 No.31 |
The Daily Word with an upcoming Anonymous attack, Ted Bundy's blood and a Chinese landlord scorpion attack
By Tom Nayder [ Wed Aug 10 2011 10:33 AM ]
Anonymous is gearing up to attack Facebook this November.
The Congressional Supercommittee has been chosen.
North and South Korea exchange fire.
President Obama can't catch a break.
FBI agent discusses the West Mesa buried bodies case.
Missouri high school bans Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-5.
America is not ready for President Rick Perry.
Recently discovered vial of Ted Bundy's blood may help uncover more murders.
The Onion is starting a paywall.
Probably not a good idea to heckle Aziz Ansari.
Chinese landlord releases thousands of scorpions to chase away his tenants.
Thomas the Imperialist Tank Engine.
Tim Heidicker (of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!) saw a UFO.
Six things that were probably built by aliens.
V.20 No.26 | 6/30/2011
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #207: Aliens have landed and are ready to attack.
By Brutus De Cervantes [ Sat Jul 2 2011 6:04 AM ]
Aliens have landed and are ready to attack. My drunken and terrified friends fall out of their stilted bungalow onto the street. They urinate profusely in fear. They are silhouetted by the lights of the spacecrafts and their pee splashes and glows. They stagger uncontrollably toward the waiting crafts. From the side I can see the aliens, wearing maroon uniforms and shorts, crouched behind the saucers, their ray guns held ready.
Blaze Ya Dead Homie • Boondox • rap • Trilogy • DJ Stigmata at Sunshine Theater
Volunteers to the Rescue!: A History of the Corrales Fire Department at Old San Ysidro Church
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