The Truth is Out There
Saturday, Oct 15: NM UFO and Paranormal Forum
Weekly Weather Report
Week of Sept. 13-19
Today through Thursday it will be partly cloudy with a high of about 82° and not much of a chance of precipitation throughout the day. Friday will be sunny with a high of 83°. Saturday thunderstorms should pop up across the world, particularly on the East Side of Albuquerque, causing damnation for about 50-90% of the Earth's population (pesky holy water monsoons). Skies clear up for the end of the weekend on through to next week. See you next week, sinner!
Week of Aug. 30-Sep. 5
Clouds have been rolling through the metro area all day, so there's seemingly a chance of rain this afternoon. Yesterday it was the same situation but someone decided not to follow through with the rain so we all just had to watch it pass us by. Maybe someone will follow through with the signs that they give today. Tomorrow will be about the same, so we have that to look forward to. Things are going to start to heat up on Friday with a high of 86 degrees Fahrenheit, so don't throw your summer wardrobe in the trash compacter, yet (though advised by The City Fashion Council). Next week will be sunny with mild temps, almost like autumn really exists. But of course it does. We aren't all bodies floating in goo being prodded at by reptilian aliens.
Week of Aug. 16-22
Today has been pretty cloudy and this evening we can expect rain and some wind up to 15 mph. Wednesday will be less cloudy but slightly cooler with a high of 89º. Thursday will be sunny and breezy. Friday will be basically the same as Thursday. Pure sunshine all weekend long with a gentle breeze. Monday looks like it will be as cloudy as today (if not more) and cooler with stronger breezes and some hateful glances from the neighbor that died four and a half years ago, Gods rest their soul. I predict next Tuesday will be rainy. Don't forget; it's a safe bet for the rest of the month that it'll rain during the nighttime, so bring an umbrella when you're escaping your gray alien-invaded home in the middle of the night. Happy monsoon season!
Thursday, Jun 30: Roswell UFO Festival
The Daily Word in Alcoholocaust, Area 51 and APD
APD responds to noise complaint then plays football with neighbor kids.
Kids, you don't need a theme to your beer pong games, especially not this Nazis vs Jews theme—very tired.
Are you more of a legs fish or an assfish?
What better day to discuss drugs than on 4/20, cool job UN.
When a joke goes too far and now you have a cat working for you. It's happened to all of us, right?
Clinton's campaign chairman really wants the juicy deets on all alien information the government is concealing. The truth is out there.
Jump Around no more, Mr. Trump.
The Daily Word in feral children, curving and Guantanamo Bay
Republicans plan to stop Obama from closing Guantanamo Bay prison.
New laws may close many medical marijuana dispensaries.
The Navajo Nation can finally look forward to clean running water.
Aliens are trying to contact us. Seriously.
The family of Edgar Camacho-Alvarado have filed their intent to sue.
Body painting is a straight up skill.
Curving--so that's what that weirdness is called.
These are considered the most beautiful bikes.
Daniel and Josh of "Damn Daniel" were on "Ellen."
Aliens Made Me Write This
Saturday, Feb 20: Richard Smith at the NM UFO and Paranormal Forum
The Daily Word in Aux Dog is vandalized, aliens in L.A. and death threats
Aux Dog Theatre was vandalized on Halloween. They are taking donations to cover fix-up costs.
Edible Arrangements did a little more than deliver some fruit, they also threw in a death threat, customer claims.
Breastfeeding in public is OK, says city Councilwoman Diane Gibson.
University of Missouri System prez calls it quits, because racism.
Stop the (coffee) presses: Starbucks launches war on Christmas, Evangelical groups claim.
Aliens, I mean “missile test launch” spotted over L.A. Saturday night.
Walk the Moon team up with AT&T to make a deaf accessible music video, and it's the coolest thing you'll ever see.
Watch this man's sweet tribute to a colleague that passed, with a bagpipe rendition of “Amazing Grace.” Oh, and he's playing it in space.
The Truth is Out There ... in Rio Rancho
2015 New Mexico UFO Conference
The Daily Word in lube, aliens, and J-Law
Who cares about women? People who wear pink and don’t wear bras, obviously. Cue eyeroll.
What are smart people afraid of? Not spiders.
Walmart continually makes this beautiful mistake.
Does “Pinktober” piss you off? Well, grab your stress ball because it’s gotten worse.
Yas, Jennifer Lawrence, YAS!
Neon Indian’s new album is released tomorrow, but you can totes listen today if you want to (you know you do).
Sometimes we have to talk to the police when we have weed on us. This is not an ideal situation, so memorize these things so you don’t have a panic attack and get shot.
Santa Fe is hosting a chile drop for NYE?!
The Daily Word on Aliens, Entertainment, and Politics
Your favorite cartoon about a metal band needs your help to end.
Indigenous Peoples Day became an official thing in Albuquerque.
The new season of American Horror Story is making headlines, be they good or bad.
A local woman claims to know of a bomb at Winrock last night.
Slime in apple juice makes some people exited about aliens.
Country-turned-pop singer Taylor Swift is facing very little piracy. Why aren't you stealing her stuff?
Gay people are allowed to do things in Indiana once more.
It costs more, but you'll pay it gladly. Netflix ups their price by one whole US dollar.
A Burque family is rescued by their wonderful dog.
The Daily Word in alien license plates, the religion of Cher and gerbils causing the plague
It's Tuesday and the sun is shining here in Albuquerque. JK! It's freezing.
It’s snowing! It’s snowing! CLOSE ALL THE SCHOOLS! CANCEL WORK!
You’re chewing too loud! Apparently there is a name for the feeling of rage you experience when the person next to you is breathing too loud.
Rats are not to blame for the Black Death! A new study suggests gerbils are the actual culprits in the “second plague pandemic.”
Feeding your baby peanut butter might prevent her from serious nut allergies in the future. Peanut butter for the win! PS. Don’t try this at home.
Cher calls out Arkansas governor Asa Hutchinson for vetoing a bill that would allow for more LGBT anti-discrimination laws. Like we needed any more reasons to worship Cher.
New Mexico wants to offer license plates that have anything from aliens to horned lizards on them. Duh. Let them do it.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #347: When the Aliens Come We Sleep on the Grass
My sister and I sleep on the grass in the front yard of our childhood home. The whole town has been abducted by aliens. They fly north overhead in lighted cylinders in long procession. The grass around us grows long.
Rowdy’s Dream Blog #324: I Get to Fly the Spaceship
I am permitted to operate the joystick control for our spaceship. It has notches for shifting in and out of different dimensions, as well as increasing the speed. I shift down into the fastest gear and the ship goes into a wild spin. The captain grabs the controls and is able to stop our spin, but is baffled. We debark at the space station where a bound and dangerous alien prisoner is being transferred from another ship onto an elevated deck. The prisoner has eight legs and screams a lot. The captain displays a hologram showing the invisible space turbulence that caused our ship to spin near the station.