The Daily Word in Wonder Drugs, Justice and The Science of Cuteness
Norway takes a bold stance against deforestation, banning it across the nation in hopes of protecting the quickly declining rainforests.
Don't forget to stop and smell the roses.
It's electric! And it can jump.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, in real life.
Ever wonder why babies' round faces and Bambi eyes never fail at getting attention? Cuteness is really just an evolutionary advantage, and not just in humans. Your brain's neural networks are playing tricks on you.
Speaking of cute animals... You decide.
The Daily Word in powdered alcohol, baby hippos and how to play songs on your telephone keypad!
It's Thursday! My baby kept me up all night and now I'm pretty crabby! Here are some news articles for you since I guess you guys can't find your own damn news!
Some jerky thieves stole veterinarian equipment from a mobile equine veteranarian truck. Help solve the crime!
Dr. Sanjay Gupta is calling for a medical marijuana revolution!
We think Joel White would agree!
Bill Cunninghan attends the Easter Parade on 5th Ave where churchgoers were dressed in "styles from the 17th century" and wearing hats that were "either towering fantastical creations or vintage pieces." Oh, New York! You're so fancy and cool!
Finally, some useful information online. This website gives you the telephone keypad codes to play songs like, You Are My Sunshine, The Itsy Bitsy Spider and much more. Don't act like you're above it.
Six states have already banned powdered alcohol and the creator of the powder is rushing to get it on the shelves in remaining states. Critics are concerned people will snort the powder and that drinks might be spiked easier.
A baby hippo was born at the Albuquerque Zoo two days ago! Hallelujah!
Have a good day, sorry I said that thing about finding your own news. We love you!
How to Do Literally Everything
How to Create a Birth Plan
Best of Burque
Best of Burque Photo Deadline Extended to Noon on Monday March 24
You can email Best of Burque photos to firstname.lastname@example.org now.
I wanted to enter Gomez in Best of Burque, but when I tried to send his picture in (to me) there was some kind of … photorazzle.boogerbomb thing I had to register on … and then the phone rang, and I spilled my coffee, and Dr. Cyclops was on and I just never got back to it. Does everything have to be so complicated?
No, it doesn’t. And it’s not fair we should miss out on so many photos of babies, dogs, cars and tattoos because of some complicated thing we set up a few years ago. My apologies to the 50 or so of you who jumped through the hoops.
Now you can just email your photos to email@example.com by noon on Monday, March 24. We’ll put some of them in our Best of Burque issue, on stands Thursday, April 3. (Yes, I know it will actually be out on Wednesday April 2, but we like making that complicated, too. Don’t ask. It’s a weird little publishing thing.)
And remember, you still have until midnight tonight (Tuesday, March 18) to submit your Best of Burque votes, or even just change them around in case you just discovered a great new … furniture store or something.
Also, dog photos aside, we really do just count up the votes with no monkey business—so don’t call me complaining if your grandma’s nicknack nook didn’t win an award. It’s not my fault. Believe in us. Believe in the system.
The Problem With Being Made in May
¡Viva la Science!
We’ve known for decades that babies conceived at certain times of the year tend, on average, to be healthier than babies conceived at other times. But what the hell, right? Why should that be? By looking at the birth records for over 1.4 million children born in the 1990s and 2000s, two economists may have figured out how it happens.
Science deals with the big, messy soup of our world. Its eternal challenge lies in teasing out what’s truly connected from that which simply happens at the same time. Previous studies have shown the correlation between infants who are born in winter and a host of problems later in life, but no one knew why it was happening. Wintertime diseases? Higher winter pollution? It could’ve been almost anything. The questions were complicated by data showing that certain mothers, ones from a lower socioeconomic tier, are statistically more likely to have children with developmental and health problems. But they’re also more likely to give birth in the first half of the year. So what’s been causing what? To study the problem, scientists needed a way to control for things like a mother’s race, marital status and education level so they didn’t end up comparing apples to oranges.
Janet Currie and Hannes Schwandt, economists out of Princeton University, came up with a solution. They looked only at mothers who had given birth to more than one child—over 600,000 of them. That way, when the differences in outcomes were measured, it had more to do with when the baby was born than the particular social conditions of the mother.
What they noticed was kind of startling. For babies conceived in May, the study found more than a 10-freaking-percent increase in premature births. The average gestation length is only about half a day shorter, but it still matters. Being born prematurely is linked to all kinds of problems, including a weaker immune system, neurodevelopmental complications and impaired vision or hearing.
Clearly, this sucks and we need to find the culprit. The study’s authors think we can most likely blame the seasonal flu, which really gets roaring in January and February, when May-conceived babies are born. The 2009-2010 flu season was particularly nasty, infecting more people than usual, and corresponded to a more dramatic dip in gestation times.
Plenty more work needs to be done to see if the common winter flu is really the reason for the premature births and therefore the reason for the generally worse outcomes of babies conceived in May. Right now, it’s just an association—the outcomes could actually be caused by some other seasonal disease or by climate or temperature, which this study wasn’t able to control for. But by looking at large samples of already-existing data, Currie and Schwandt have given other researchers a strong lead for their inquiries. And knowledge inches forward once more.
The Daily Word in APD probe, Miley's pig and milk for inmates
U.S. Justice Department announces it will investigate APD.
APD officer accused of encouraging neighbors to brawl to settle a dispute.
Best prank ever. By which we mean freaking scariest.
San Juan County inmates nearly riot over lack of milk at breakfast.
That Facebook privacy notice everyone's posting won't help you at all.
Bigfoot DNA results. Finally.
Albuquerque Authorities name their baby rhino Chopper rather than Bonbornio.
PETA gave Miley Cyrus a pig for her birthday. She didn't get it.
Fiona Apple cancels a tour to spend time with her dying pit bull, Janet.
Happy birthday, Bruce Lee and Jimi Hendrix.
The Daily Word in yard sales, Jeb Bush and Mr. Rogers
Take the Central bus out of Downtown until 1:30 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights.
Fatal shooting last night.
Commissioner Wiener says he’s going after the photographer who took the snap of him in a notorious red-light district in the Philippines. (He lost Tuesday’s election bad.)
Why is the weather in Westeros so crazy?
Political reporter Haussamen comes out against LGBT discrimination.
City comes out against unending yard sales.
Republicans in Florida outlaw voting on Sunday to suppress the African-American vote.
Jeb Bush says something nice about President Obama.
And ex-Prez Clinton says nice things about Mitt Romney.
Mr. Rogers remixed.
A forest-themed nightclub in Seattle.
Flaming Lips post naked pictures of Erykah Badu and her sister, angering Badu.
Parents’ blood and spit can reveal fetus’ DNA.
Found on Santa Fe Craigslist: Baby shower for a low-income family
Usually, the Found on Santa Fe Craigslist blog is reserved for tongue-in-cheek repostings of ridiculous Southwest furniture, unicorn mirrors, semi-used magical equipment and the like. But this one isn’t. I’d just like to share this woman’s request for help with diapers, a double stroller and a baby swing. Her husband’s work hours were cut, and they’re expecting a medically unforeseen visit from the stork. If you have a little to spare, two struggling parents in Santa Fe county could use it.
The Daily Word in Urban Outfitters, marshmallow vodka and BofA’s sneaky fees
Navajo Nation suing Urban Outfitters for titling some products “Navajo.”
Arizona public schools ban Bless Me Ultima, the landmark novel by local literary legend Rudolfo Anaya.
Image of Jesus appears in a tortilla in Española.
Request your FBI file.
HuffPo article on the owner of Effex, an LGBT rights activist and a Christian Republican.
Farewell, heartthrob Davy Jones.
Recycling photos from around the world.
Understanding fluffed marshmallow vodka.
The Aquabats have a TV show.
Track down criminals with Twitter.
Bank of America rolls out even sneakier fees.
Yoga championships. It’s a thing.
The life of the robot.
The Daily Word in heavy baby, Icelandic incest and yoga
Belen police chief: "It always raises a red flag for us when we see a sex offender trying to get into the girls bathroom."
Some APD officers make more than the mayor.
Have you seen this missing girl?
JFK mistress speaks out in book form.
15.5 pound baby born in China.
Mickey D's minty green Shamrock Shake goes nationwide.
R.I.P. Florence Green, the last WWI
Can porn be copyrighted?
A website in Iceland helps residents avoid accidental incest.
Maps of stereotypes.
Some yoga is dangerous, but it's mostly awesome, says some guy in his new book.
A Miraculous Rebirth?
Program for expectant mothers fights for second chances, including its own
Casita de Milagros, New Mexico’s only residential treatment center for pregnant women battling addiction, closed this summer. Thanks to community outcry, the facility might soon be resuscitated. But Milagros’ advocates are discovering that the devil is in the details.
Where Babies Come From
Midwife-run nonprofit births alternative for expectant mothers
The Miracle of Treatment
Medicaid axes inpatient program for drug-addicted mothers
My Farewell Column
It is time once again for me to bid you, my fair reader, adieu.
I am moving back to Oklahoma, a state apparently bent on my destruction. I had some great tornado jokes lined up for this column—real grade-A material.
Alas, I woke up the other morning and the damn things had laid waste to most of Alabama. Severe weather humor is horribly inappropriate at this particular juncture.
So we’ll skip the tornado jokes.
The Daily Word: Giffords, Libya defections, bug-eating
A woman who let her friend drive drunk is being charged with a DWI.
Rep. Pearce says something something "constitutional" something "don't' give money to public broadcasting."
Charges against the local nonprofit that sent human heads to a Kansas medical waste facility were dropped.
Someone put an explosive near an APD car this morning.
Do you know this guy? He stole a computer from UNM by picking it up and walking away.
Secretary of State says the guv may have breached campaign law.
Arizona outlawed abortions that are performed because of the sex or race of the fetus.
Maybe we will eat bugs when there's no more meat.
Is it too soon to ask: Will Giffords run for Senate?
Spoiler: The "Top Chef All Stars" winner.
Birth rate in the U.S. dropping fast.
Google makes baby steps toward social networking and "liking."
The cosmonaut who fell to earth.