President Obama decides its time to sit down for a talk with America's truly important figures.
Turns out excessive fast food consumption is linked to infertility, especially in men. Sorry boys, but if you want to have kids, put down the whopper.
Apparently poodles are a real turn on for some people but don't have sex with your girlfriend's dog. Just don't.
If you see a guy dragging an ATM with a rental truck, know this: he stole both of those things. Only in Albuquerque, am I right?
She got knocked down but she got up again. Nothing, not even the Boston bombing, kept this persistent woman down.
Bacteria does serve a purpose- art supplies for the nerdy.
Stealthy snake pretends to be an eight-legged insect as a ploy to catch a bird. You just can't trust anyone these days.
It’s Friday the 13th.
Al-Qaeda chief urges attacks on the US.
Bake your bacon in the oven the right way.
Low levels of gut bacteria may be linked to bitchiness and other disorders.
The Ig Nobel Prizes.
Roadkill: the ethical meat.
Monkeys think long and hard about bananas.
Grohl and Novoselic reminisce about Nirvana.
Fancy things are better. Right?
The New Mexico Supreme Court rules in favor of Pornotopia.
Happy birthday Barbara Bain.
Beware the deadly three-ton satellite telescope falling to earth.
Beware the deadly horse tail thieves.
This 100-year-old bacteria probably won't kill us all.
Netflix cancels plans for Qwikster.
Look mom, no head!
Former Miss Iceland was tipster in Whitney Bolger fugitive case.
New Chinese opera about the 1911 revolution must not use the word revolution.
Paul McCartney still has enough money to get married.
Send this to your dirtbag friends.
Beware the deadly hot dog thrower.
I wish I had an alligator bike.
How does Japanese art of the 1700s stack up against Europe’s?
What shall I read next?
Mathematicians reveal the newest imaginary number.
I-25 was shut down for a jumper.
A toddler was shot in the head with a pellet gun.
Beware the mailbox bomber.
Happy birthday, David Lee Roth.
Thanks to Nayder and Moss for the link assists.
A man and his pig.
Bosque Farms cop investigated for stealing stuff from the department. Third in a year.
Tornado kills two in Oklahoma.
Meat contaminated with nasty bacteria.
Indiana House committee passes immigration bill.
World's first 3-D porno movie.
Arizona approves 'Birther' bill.
Brooke Mueller tries to pawn watch and stereo.
Marilyn Manson wants to be in Charles Manson biopic with Lindsay Lohan.