“Younger generations aren't narcissistic, you're just old and mad at them.” Adam Conover lays down some truths.
Why so sad, Ben?
This is so embarrassing. I don't know how to tell you this, but you've been singing “MMMBop” all wrong.
Knife bra, here to protect and serve.
Rock your baby to sleep with some Rihanna lullabies.
Did you remember to return that rental VHS 14 years ago? This guy didn't, and got arrested for it.
Melting snow could displace all the poisonous metal left behind by the Gold King Mine spill, causing our local rivers to become highly toxic. Spring is in the air!
If you're still alive in 30 years, odds are you'll live for 1000! It's math, so it's gotta be true.
Here's someone who will hopefully be dead in the next 30 years: a volunteer raising money for a severely burned 8-year-old was caught stealing from the coffers.
Wait a minute. Am I in Crazy Funhouse Mirror Land? Did a KKK rally get interrupted by violent counter-protesters? Irony, you're my only friend.
Trump probably didn't get that joke, because he doesn't know anything about the KKK or white supremacists.
Batman busted for pick-pocketing? Holy ruined childhood!
New supermaterial pulls moisture from the air. Inventor sites Star Wars.
The Biopark celebrates Leap Day with free admission for children on Monday. A Leap Day Miracle!
Hold up. It's Leap Day tomorrow? My goodness! Has it already been so long? Here's a list of Leap traditions you've probably never heard of.
BP Lawyer cites "irreparable injustices" in how settlement payments are being handled.
Officials probe why a jet that crash landed in San Francisco was flying too slow before it hit the runway.
Authorities search for 40 missing people after a train blast in Quebec town that killed five.
Michael Allen speaks out in speculation over whether Albuquerque police could have spared his brother, Vincent Wood, who was shot multiple times on Friday night.
Albuquerque remembers Austin Hudson-LaPore.
Google Doodle and Roswell? Oh, we're there!
City planners want to make Central a little snazzier! Neon signs anyone?
'Member Spy Hunter? Gotham Streets takes the same basic drive-and-shoot mechanics from that old arcade classic and dresses them up, sueprhero-style. It's an adaptation of Cartoon Network's new series "Beware the Batman," which revives the Dark Knight in a retro, gangster setting. Who doesn't want to drive the Batmobile?
Albuquerque's weekly SWAT standoff.
Northern New Mexico's used tire problem.
Plants grown with Black Sabbath playing really loud have "the best flowers...."
FAA layoffs resulting from the sequestration are screwing up flight times.
Half the prisoners at Guantanamo are staging a hunger strike.
Brian Wilson taken into custody for not going surfing.
ABBA museum opening soon in Stockholm.
Instagram claims the right to sell your photos.
Rappers on Instagram.
Nielson agrees to buy Arbitron.
Sixty seconds of (almost) silence at a Lamb of God concert.
A Swedish lady had skeleton sex.
Drunk Ron Swanson dances.
72 years of Batman logos.
Ducks are the best.
Is it Christmas?
Albuquerque has $5.5 million to spend on Alibi ads.
A man escaped from an Albuquerque SWAT unit.
The adventures of Anthony Chavez.
Happy birthday Keith Richards.
Thanks to Susan Petersen, Oskar Petersen and Jacob Sanchez for the links.
I am in a toy store. I purchase two carved, wooden balls from the long-haired cashier for $130. I have him hold them for me at the counter. I tell him I am considering a "shift in play paradigms," and that I would like to see the Batman action figures. He leads me to the video games where Greg Kinnear, wearing a cowboy hat, recognizes me and says hello.
State police pull body of 4-year-old boy from deep hole near his home in Carlsbad.
Severed finger found at site of Albuquerque robbery.
Long-lost ancient health remedies from the old days.
I have every intention of traveling next year to the Sock Monkey Madness Festival!
An international space station could someday be built on another planet rather than in orbit.
Rare photos from the original Star Trek pilot.
You can now buy a teensie weensie entirely IKEA home.
How much do you know about the Byzantine Empire?
Video released describing sightings of giant, fan-collared cryptid lizard.
Sri Lankan man dies while trying to break record for spending the most time buried alive.
Australian scientists have rediscovered Dryococelus australis, or, giant walking stick.
RIP Star Wars artist Ralph McQuarrie.
Beloved elderly man dies in the cold on his porch in La Mesilla, NM.
New state laws for 2012 bring about happy hour bans, fire-breathing regulations and more.
Canadian drug found successful in treating ovarian cancer.
99-year-old Italian man divorcing his wife of 77 years over her 1940's affair.
Amazon, Facebook and Google consider a coordinated anti-SOPA blackout.
Target becomes target (hehe) for large public gathering of breast-feeding moms.
Too bad Christmas is over: I would have wanted a Batman iPod dock with built in taser.
Let's make some New Year's Eve resolutions.
Fox apologizes to Jews for Facebook poll on Jesus' death.
Words of comfort: Russia test fires long-range missile with new warhead.
I went to the eye doctor and they dilated my eyes. Then they gave me these really awesome new shades!
(I'm sorry I had to use the word shades. I spent a long time once, convincing my German friend that it was no longer cool to say "shades." But in this case, I think it really applies.)
I will save these and incorporate them into my next Halloween costume, trashcan Robin. Who wants to be Batman?
Muammar Gaddafi has fled protests in Tripoli.
China, on the other hand, will not stand for protests.
It’s time to worry about space weather.
Music executive Steve Stoute ran a full page newspaper ad complaining about the Grammies.
Speaking of which, some people don’t know who Arcade Fire even is.
People dress like pandas and play with baby pandas.
Mystery of the synchronized fish dance.
Here are ten delicious science fiction foods.
Here are some science fact fat-fighting desserts.
15-year-old Jake experienced time travel.
Beware the killer Australian birds.
Hey, come at me like you’re going to attack me so I can show you my new wrist lock.
There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance through a creepy underground city for thousands of years.
Brace yourself for some mushy Kurt Vonnegut quotes. He loves you, damn it!
Kayakers snapped a picture of the Windermere Monster.
Spiderman and Batman, news news news.
Heinrich is considering running for Bingaman’s senate seat.
Christopher Torres let his crazy flag fly in Garcia’s restaurant.
Steve Terrell gives a mid-term report on this legislative session.
Plastic surgeon Daniel Ronel died in a car smash near Algodones.
Yale Blvd. is going to be closed for a month.
Ahmadinejad wants to debate Obama live on the Crazy Channel.
The Dutch pulled out of Afghanistan.
“I wear my sunglasses at…” Huh? Different Corey Hart.
Cuddly albino raccoon free to good home.
MIT students assisted in the Wikileaks leak.
Escaped Arizona killers are on the loose.
Magic bracelets make your bike go faster.
A Romanian woman was tortured by Commies. With photo.
A man was killed by the Rail Runner.
BP may seal the well today.
Westsiders' water is dark pee yellow.
Shark week at the aquarium.
The RNC is running out of dough.
Man robs Wendy's, then calls back to complain.
Senator wants to repeal the 14th amendment.
Los Alamos is launching its Smart Grid project for solar power development.
It’s Edward Furlong’s birthday. He played a young John Conner in Terminator 2. Here’s a song from his CD.
I didn’t see Taken in the theater. When it came out I was still generally unsold on the notion of Liam Neeson as an action hero, and mildly irritated that he kept landing roles as everything from a Jedi to a Batman super-villain ninja.
The scales tipped when I watched a disk of Taken from Netflix. It was actually one of the better action movies in recent memory, and though I readily admit that violent action movies do not necessarily make great art, Taken would be right up there with Die Hard if they did. And suddenly I understood: Liam Neeson is not some updated version of Lee Majors or Gil Gerard. He’s a bona fide action movie bad ass.
In Taken, Neeson transforms from a dopey, doting father into an unstoppable vehicle of wrath, efficiently breaking bad guys into pieces with breathtaking cruelty. And the whole time you’re cackling, “Yes, that’s exactly what I’d do to that fucker, too, if he kidnapped my daughter and sold her into slavery!” So, yeah. It was a decent action movie and I sent it back.
When Taken finally hit the rock-bottom price at a local supercenter which shall remained unnamed, I got a little excited to see it again, but my big surprise came when I watched the uncut version. Of course the uncut version was more violent, and I expected that. What I didn’t expect was that the extra violence could actually make it better by an order of magnitude, that it could add a layer of humanity to Neeson’s character, or that it could actually help the movie make better sense.
The uncut version accomplishes all of these things. Fight scenes that seemed previously choppy and disjointed reveal themselves as seamless sequences of viciousness. We discover that Neeson’s character can’t magically kill every bad guy with one shot: he’s firing a whole clip as fast as he can pull the trigger. Instead of wondering, “How did that knife end up in that guy’s stomach?” we learn it’s because Neeson put it there and kicked it ten times. And Neeson’s graphic rage, strangely, helps to humanize him. His wince-inspiring violence in this film has even earned him verb status in Urban Dictionary, meaning “to karate chop in the throat,” or alternately “to take someone’s gun away and beat him unconscious with it.”
Action movies don’t make for good art, or socially responsible art by any means, and there are a thousand reasons why I should be ashamed for enjoying Taken. But I did.