A Beary Good Time
Sunday, Sep 18: Sandia Mountain Bear Fair
The Daily Word in Bear Attacks, Farts and Americans Against Algebra
Mother's Day News: NM ranks 42 in the nation for "best states for working moms." If we just keep trying and really work at it, I bet we can get rated as the worst state ever one day. Hell, we're doing good so far.
Ready for the inside track on Ted Cruz? Take a look at this article written by one of his college co-debaters who describes him as some kind of pompous blowhard.
Do you know how they make tequila? I didn't.
Some dickhead shot a 17-year-old a month ago while he was walking to school after he took the kid's cell phone. Thankfully the victim is alive and recovering. Here's footage of his description given to police.
Well, if you thought racial profiling in airports was easing up, just ask this Ivy League economist about being pulled off a plane because of the dangerous looking math equations he was working on (spoiler alert: they had nothing to do with terror).
The Sandia Peak Tramway has added two cars to its stable in celebration of its 50-year anniversary. I'm still too wimpy to ride them, though.
There's a lot of debate around whether or not it's okay to kill an adult bear that has wandered into civilization. Apparently some people have never seen a bear attack and think they're all sweet and cuddly. I blame the teddy bear.
A historian believes he has discovered the secret of the man in the iron mask. Not only was it not Leonardo DiCaprio, the mask wasn't even iron.
The chemical that makes farts smell is leading to a new era in medical treatment. Well, there's my fart joke quota met for the day.
Crib Notes: April 3, 2014
The Daily Word in DREAMers, voters, bleeders and truckers
Today qualified young immigrants can begin applying for permits to avoid deportation.
Federally subsidized programs on Mitt Romney's fiscal hit list: Amtrak, PBS, arts, humanities.
Democratic voter registration is down in eight key "battleground" states with an uptick in registered independents.
Dusty Pop Art collection in Iran permitted to see the light of day.
Ailing Russian Kalishnikov factory buoyed by U.S. gun buyers.
Univision calls for inclusion of Latino perspectives in presidential debates.
Visine poisoning > diarrhea = jail.
Staying out of the woods because Aunt Flo is visiting and you're scared of getting mauled by a bear? Fear no more, says National Park Service.
Corrales votes down gun restrictions.
Horse slaughter plant plans nixed.
New Mexico trucking company tries to avoid workers comp payments, gets called out by Tennessee high court.
The Daily Word in investigating Syria, Walgreens robberies, Prince and Lionel Richie
U.N. reaches site of Syrian massacre to investigate killings.
Police say 14-year-olds in Rio Rancho robbed the same Walgreens twice armed with a bat and a pellet gun.
Supreme Court's approval rating is below 50 percent.
Possibly the greatest blog post ever on '80s celebrity fashion.
Fourteen dismembered corpses found in a truck in northern Mexico.
Cops say ICE agent pulled over on San Mateo was driving erratically and had been drinking.
The 34-year streak of horse racing not having a Triple Crown winner will continue as I'll Have Another is scratched from the Belmont.
Norway is setting up a psych ward in one of its prisons in case mass-murderer Anders Behring Breivik is labeled insane.
California man tries to sell bear cubs at a gas station, says he shot their mom in self defense on his property.
And now ... animal photo bombing!
The Daily Word in presidential marketing, biting bears, Jay-Z for gay marriage
Wait, is Obama the first gay president or the first female president? Last I checked, he wasn’t either. Maybe he can close the books on gimmicky headlines used to sell magazines by coming up with an all-encompassing term like Cablinasian.
Jay-Z also in support of gay marriage. Does that make him the nation’s first gay rap legend?
French Socialist François Hollande is inaugurated this morning as the nation’s president.
Man claims he was assaulted by the chairman of the Public Regulation Commission during one of its hearings.
Rio Rancho boy bitten by captured bear.
Greek government talks fall apart, prompting an election do-over.
Apparently it's not too late to live out that life-long dream of fellating Charles Bukowski. ... What else would be the purpose of whiskey-flavored lube?
I’ve tried a sugar-free Slurpee. Not bad, but they melt really quick.
Partial eclipse this Sunday afternoon.
No. 7 in this list of people doing dumb things takes my vote.
One of the the Swamp People died.
The Daily Word in Astorga, Amsterdam, the NFL
Shuttle Enterprise coasts into retirement in NYC atop a 747.
Death penalty trial for Michael Astorga begins.
In less than a year it may be illegal for tourists to buy pot in Amsterdam.
Breaking down Round 1 of the NFL draft.
Albuquerque police arrest firefighter in connection with burglary ring.
NBA Playoff matchups set, first round starts Saturday.
Attack of the lobster-sized cannibal shrimp.
Putin, Vlad Putin.
Ever seen a flying bear on tranquilizers?
Blind Chinese activist may be under U.S. protection after escaping house arrest.
Naked Romanian cyclist ticketed for not wearing a helmet.
Man arrested for DUI says he fled the scene because he “had the runs.”
This woman is really hot—if you’re made out of Legos.
The Daily Word: AIDS vaccine, Nazi guard, self-driving cars
Man found dead with his throat cut near Mountain and Sixth Street.
Guy goes to the lost and found at Sandia Casino looking for his cocaine.
Bears in Roswell and Belen.
AIDS vaccine works in monkeys. A human vaccine may be just around the corner.
Paramedic says he was discriminated against because of his beard in Española. He's a Sikh, and it's part of his religion.
The M-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-crooked letter-
Guard for Nazi camp was charged with 28,060 counts of accessory to murder. He was sentenced to five years in prison.
This technology can read your mind.
World wastes more than a billion tons of food every year.
Bin Laden's diary (crushes revealed! jk).
Dems try to repeal tax incentives for big oil, given the companies are seeing profit.
The Daily Word 1.28.10: Eat me, bear.
Escaped inmate planned on overdosing on dope and letting bears eat him, but was stopped by voice of reason. Average weekend at Casa de Juan Oso.
Cops get take home cars back.
Bicyclist gets hit by car in northeast Albuquerque.
CYFD workers placed on leave following boy's death.
Woman claims yogurt sample tainted with bodily fluids. Another day at Casa de Juan Oso.
Student loans blamed for downturn in freshman mental health.
Taco Bell launches ad campaign to defend beef.
Woman who says she is gay faces deportation from Britain to Uganda, where, of course, they shoot gay people. Britain says she is not gay.
Hawaii bill would grant access to Obama's birth records. Effort to stop dumb ass birthers.
Shit hitting the fan in Egypt.
Hard times for Lobos, Packers and Steelers in Super Bowl
Since Mountain West Conference play has started, Lobo fans maybe wondering when it's time to hit the panic button. Perhaps the time is now, with New Mexico losing a heart breaker to UNLV 63-62 Saturday afternoon. New Mexico had the lead going into halftime but didn't put themselves in a position to win. The Lobos shot 25 percent from three point range and had 20 turnovers. Despite bad shooting and Lobo Alex Kirk scoring only two points with zero rebounds, New Mexico had a chance to send the game to overtime. UNM's Kendall Williams could have clenched it when he was fouled with 1.1 seconds left. Williams hit the first free throw but missed the second, giving UNLV the win. With four conference loses, the Lobos need someone to emerge a leader. UNM returns home for a two games against TCU and No. 9 BYU. If the Lobos don't win both these games, it's panic time.
Aaron Rodgers lead the Packers to a 21-14 victory over the Chicago Bears to capture the NFC championship. Rodgers wasn't perfect, throwing two interceptions but added a rushing touchdown and always gave his team good field position. The Packers defense was hard hitting and nasty, knocking Bears Quarterback Jay Cutler out of the game. Players around the league were questioning Cutler's injury on Twitter by calling him a sissy and a quitter. Cutler is a lot of things but a quitter is not one of them. Cutler sitting out was the right decision and hopefully he can bounce back from his knee injury. The Packers had multiple chances to bury the Bears but kept the game close. Green Bay will have to clean up the mistakes and play more consistent in order to become victorious on Super Bowl Sunday.
The New York Jets must have decided not play to the first half of the AFC championship game. Pittsburgh had a 24-3 lead and loads of momentum pushing the Jets into a hole. New York's Mark Sanchez had two touchdown passes in the second half but it was too late. Pittsburgh held on 24-19 and clearly must be considered a league powerhouse. Steelers Head Coach Mike Tomlin is an elite football mind.
Super Bowl XLV features two battle tested teams and should be a game to remember.
The Daily Word 1.25.11: demonically possessed pit bull, the future of the news industry, unreal beef at Taco Bell
Industry saved? Media magnate James Murdoch suggests a 99 cent a week subscription to The Daily, a future iPad-only newspaper.
Jesse “The Body” Ventura is suing the TSA for inappropriately touching his “body.”
The King’s Speech has been nominated for a stunning 12 Oscars.
Taco Bell is being sued in California for not really using “real beef.” Well, duh.
... And if you were planning on making the trip to Tucson to try lion tacos, you’re out of luck.
A woman hangs and burns a pit bull from a tree after chewing her Bible. I mean, clearly the dog was possessed by some sort of demonic power.
Russia, as expected, isn’t going to take any shit when it comes to the airport suicide bombing.
A woman falls 23 stories, lands on a taxi cab ... and lives.
Everyone’s crying foul after the Christian Heritage High girls basketball team obliterated their opponent 108-3.
These ankle bracelets could be mandated for drunk drivers who don’t get an interlock.
The JCPenney call center in Rio Rancho is closing, rendering 375 workers jobless.
Sour grapes! A Chicago man was fired from his job after refusing to remove his Green Bay Packers tie the day after their win over the Bears.
The Fantastic Four is down to three as the long-running comic book franchise is put to bed.
Hangover Sports Roundup: Boise State falls, Bears rise
Thanksgiving weekend provided a major shakeup in the BCS standings. Fans hoping for Auburn and Oregon to fall instead saw mid-major Boise State lose a heart breaker to Nevada. Despite Nevada being nationally ranked, Boise State can kiss their national title dreams goodbye. Now TCU remains the only non-BCS school contending for the national title and will have to hope Auburn and Oregon slip up. TCU will most likely get robbed, but at least this will be the last time they'll have to play politics with the BCS. Starting with the 2012 season, the Horned Frogs take their talents to the Big East Conference. While TCU gets to sit at the 'big kids table' the Mountain West Conference takes another blow towards national respect.
The Chicago Bears haven't been taken too seriously this season. After all, their schedule is pretty mediocre and quarterback Jay Cutler isn't exactly a fan favorite. But after the Bears stopped Michael Vick and the Eagles 31-26, maybe it's time to call the Bears an NFC contender. Vick had a good performance with 333 yards and two touchdowns, and the Bears were still able to get the victory. Chicago finally has a high-power offense to go along with their tough defense.
Normally the Buffalo Bills have nothing to play for in the months of November and December. Nevertheless, the Bills took the fight to the Pittsburgh Steelers. It ended with an overtime thriller which saw the Bills' victory slip away. Bills receiver Steve Johnson dropped the the game-winning pass in the endzone, eventually leading to the Steelers hitting the game-winning 41-yard field goal. After the game Johnson appeared dejected and stated he'll never get over his massive mistake.
Hangover Sports Roundup: Rampage barely tames Dragon, Lobos lose
Normally, Detroit doesn't have too much to cheer about. But on Saturday night UFC 123 took center stage in front of 16,404 MMA fans. The main event featured Rampage Jackson and Lyoto Machida locked in a three-round chess match. Jackson won a close decision despite getting thrashed by Machida in the third round. Even Jackson was surprised he won when UFC cage announcer Bruce Buffer read the result. Both fighters and the fans are open to a rematch but UFC President Dana White felt Jackson won the first two rounds and thinks a rematch is unnecessary. With UFC light-heavyweight champion Shogun Rua still recovering from a knee injury, White may not have a choice but to give Machida another shot at Jackson.
From the moment the bell rang, B.J. Penn looked determined to beat Matt Hughes by any means necessary. Penn was on a two fight losing streak and needed an impressive victory to keep himself relevant as a contender.
It only took 21 seconds for Penn to destroy Hughes and remind the MMA world why 'The Prodigy' is still one of the most dangerous fighters in the game today. Meanwhile, Hughes may see retirement looming on the horizon. Penn's impressive victory earns him a shot at tough contender Jon Fitch in Australia early next year.
The California Bears gave Lobo basketball their first loss of the season and a major reality check. With no home crowd to save New Mexico, bad shooting and turnovers allowed the Bears to score 51 points in the second half to capture the 89-64 victory. Lobo point guard Dairese Gary had a team-leading 16 points but also had five turnovers. The Lobos now turn their focus on Northwood for Wednesday's home game.
BYU continued to add to the nightmare of Lobo football. The Cougars are having a disappointing final season in the Mountain West Conference, but it did not stop the 40-7 beatdown. Cougar quarterback Jake Heaps totaled three touchdowns to make BYU bowl-eligible. Stump Godfrey continued to be the only glimmer of hope by throwing for 125 yards and a touchdown. Now the Lobos welcome BCS contender TCU to University Stadium for the season finale.
The Daily Word 10.29.10: Deputy gets bombed, bears get shot, casino gets hosed
Video of deputy getting arrested for DWI. Priceless.
You can now shoot more bears, and cougars. That's not cool, man.
Oh my god, the deputy getting arrested is just too funny.
Dude shoots other dude, gets no jail time.
Sandia Casino gets hosed for $1.2 million.
Four-year-old can be sued for negligence, judge says.
Killer goat was not sick, just horny.
Halliburton implicated in BP well failure. Surprised?
Somali militants execute teenage girls.
Allen Iverson to play basketball in Turkey.
Pope says Stephen Hawking is wrong, God created the world. God not available for comment.
The Daily Word 06.25.10: 3x the Porn, Unhappy Campers, Dude's Related to Dracula
It's the one year anniversary of the King of Pop's death.
[Moment of silence]
Onto porn news! The Indian Embassy changed its web address, the old one is now a pornography site. If you want to start your own webcam business you can now be whateverdirtythingyouwant.xxx. Unless you work at a church, then you should probably stay away from porn, especially kiddie porn.
Cleanse your mind with a world news quiz.
Korea celebrates the 60th anniversary of the Korean War with a shipping ban.
Some Alaskan scientist decides to play Grizzly Man, but wins.
Campers go crazy in the Pecos.
There are fucking mice everywhere. Ew.
41% of people think pot should be legal, which means 59% of people want to harsh your mellow.