V.25 No.31 | 08/04/2016
The Daily Word in Churks, Forward Thinking and Real Money
By Joshua Lee [ Sat Aug 6 2016 8:41 AM ]
Delta Airlines is showing an edited version of the film Carol, where all of the lesbian kissing scenes have been removed. Ironic, considering the film depicts life among the backward, closed minds of the 50's. Progress.
Meet the "churk," a real-life government genetic engineering experiment in 1960 that resulted in a chicken-turkey hybrid. This monster was mentally retarded, physically deformed and grew twisted feathers. Science.
Irish police chased down a UFO and pulled it over. Turns out the whole thing was a publicity stunt (false flag operation) that the cops were in on (conspiracy)to promote a children's art festival (Illuminati indoctrination camp). Confirmed.
Two completely different women in Ghana are accused of being reckless witches. Reckless, because they both apparently crash landed while flying. One was in the form of a bird (allegedly) until she smashed into a woman's house and turned back into a human. The other was flying somewhere (allegedly) when she felt an "electric shock" that made her fall from the sky. According to the article: "There have, however, been suggestions that the woman might have been suffering from mental problems." Understatement.
A Florida judge said during a ruling that Bitcoin isn't real money. I can't tell if this is good or bad. Uncertainty.
FBI Director James Comey gave an address to the American Bar Association annual conference and told everyone the awful news: The FBI has a ton of trouble breaking into people's phones. And unfortunately, government agencies have no recourse. That means it's up to us—the little people—to make it possible for them to spy on us. Cooperation.
V.25 No.2 | 01/14/2016
The Daily Word in Rubik's Cubes, Rockets and the Plague
By Joshua Lee [ Sun Jan 17 2016 10:00 AM ]
The state's first ever skijoring competition began yesterday. It's a sport that combines downhill skiing, horseback riding and water skiing, apparently. Scratch your head all you like, the world still won't make any sense.
David Bowie's music sales made up 25% of this week's Top 40, with 241,000 albums and 167,000 singles sold. Still waiting on the numbers from the platform shoes and glitter markets.
Argentina's complicated economic problems (like the bizarre coin shortage related to black market bus fares) has made it the the perfect spot for bitcoin to strut its stuff.
A lunatic with a 3D printer has created a functioning 22x22 Rubik's cube. If solved, it will open a doorway to Hell (I assume).
Two Santa Fe dogs were treated for the plague. City officials remind citizens to keep pets away from dead animals. Don't worry. The dogs are ok.
SpaceX will be attempting to launch and land a rocket today. Watch the live feed at 11:42am, or check in later to see how it fared.
A 32-acre fake town, complete with graffitied street signs, traffic lights and storefronts has been built near the University of Michigan to test self-driving cars.
A report concludes that negligence was to blame for the shipping of live anthrax from an Army biodefense lab to spots all over the country and abroad. Cough. This does not help my hypochondria.
A city official in Cranston, RI talked a man into disguising himself as a woman to improve a photo op.
New Mexico company develops a sweet-ass hoverboard. For a mere $19,900, you can make me one happy writer.
V.23 No.38 |
The Daily Word in Malkovich, Malkovich
By Ty Malkovich Bannerman [ Wed Sep 24 2014 9:04 AM ]
The three-breasted-woman is actually just a two-breasted-woman. Which is at least 33% less amazing. Also, her name is not "Jasmine Tridevil." Because, come on.
The threat to expose Emma Watson’s supposed nude photos after her UN speech on feminism was also a hoax.
Living with humans screws up chimpanzees.
A new brewery is opening up in the “Brewery District.” Another one is getting ready for a 2015 start. This brings the total number of breweries in this up to city to “Really? That many?”
John Malkovich is Malkoviching up some famous photographs.
Another Bitcoin centered company gets shut down by the Man. This time just because they didn’t ship special bitcoin computers that they promised. And also because they ripped off their customers for at least $3 million. Why does the government hate freedom and innovation?
V.23 No.10 |
The Daily Word in killer Portland cats, Kanye West and the gangs of Disneyland
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Mar 12 2014 9:18 AM ]
There are things in the world beyond your understanding. One is Bitcoin and another is Kanye West. Now, you can save time by not understanding both in one convenient package: the Coinye. Kanye, by the way, is totally suing.
Just because the cops tell you to administer a forcible enema and colonoscopy doesn't mean you should do it.
A family and their dog barricaded in a bedroom and police frantically dialing animal control. When will humanity learn its lesson? Beware the cats of Portland.
In the wake of WIPP's radioactive leakages, officials at Los Alamos say they are looking into "alternatives" for storing their toxic waste. No word on what those alternatives are, but this analyst suggests shoving the boxes all the way into the back of the closet and then putting more boxes on top of them.
The Neverlanders Social Club, with their Walt Disney tattoos, cartoon character dress code and penchant for hanging around the Small World ride, may not fill you with fear, but you're bound to be unnerved.
Finally, all you never wanted to know about what went wrong with 1994's Street Fighter movie REVEALED.
V.23 No.10 | 3/6/2014
The Daily Word in bitcoins, bugs and brain tumors.
By Carl Petersen [ Mon Mar 3 2014 10:57 AM ]
Russia is becoming a real problem.
Sleep and longevity are closely linked.
You should eat more bugs.
Iranian law allows for creative sentencing.
How’s that bitcoin thing working for you?
Watch a cute panda cub play with a ball.
Try this new deep-fried confection.
Pecans like this weather, at least.
Texting while driving is now illegal in New Mexico.
Rio Rancho votes tomorrow.
What’s happening today?
Happy birthday, James Doohan.
V.23 No.8 |
The Daily Word in the Bitcoin blues, WTF WIPP and lizard rampages
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Feb 26 2014 9:05 AM ]
There's more proof that walking your dog can be good for you: a couple found $10 million in rare gold coins while taking Fido out for a stroll.
Meanwhile, in Florida, four foot long lizards are invading the swamps and eating up all the native animals because of course they are. It's Florida.
The CEO of the world's largest Bitcoin exchange asks you not to contact his employees with questions about where your money is because "they have been instructed not to give any response or information." Sounds legit.
San Francisco hates Google and San Francisco bar patrons hate Google Glass.
Oh hey, WIPP. WIPP is still leaking radioactivity, but DOE officials would like you to know everything is just fine. Really, man. They got this. You don't need to worry your pretty little head about it at all.
Former Navy Seals hired to protect a ship got so bored waiting for pirates to show up that they decided to kill themselves with heroin.
V.22 No.46 |
The Daily Word in traffic-stop mom details, bitcoins, Rob Ford's war and -no kidding- Walmart is asking for donations to help their impoverished employees
Today Albuquerque decides whether to ban late-term abortions
By Geoffrey Plant [ Tue Nov 19 2013 9:11 AM ]
Taos District Attorney says the New Mexico State Trooper who shot at the traffic-stop mom won't face criminal charges.
Local home movie footage of JFK's 1962 visit to Albuquerque.
UNM has doubled the cost of parking at Lobo games.
The DEA says a Pagosa Springs businessman with ties to Albuquerque is suspected (but not accused) of laundering significant amounts of drug money through his hot springs resort.
Walmart has provided donation boxes in Walmart stores to raise money to help Walmart employees in need over the holidays.
"Selfie" is the Oxford Dictionary word of the year.
Not all Swedes can piss in Jagger's mouth.
The best. James Brown. Interview. EVER.
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