V.21 No.41 | 10/11/2012
Killing yourself with coffee
Knowing when to say when
Here it is, 10:51 on Monday morning and I’m starting in on my fourth cup of java, hoping to find that sweet spot between drowsiness and the shakes, and then I wonder: could I actually OD on this stuff?
I don’t mean jittery, can’t-stop-talking, eighth-time-to-visit-the-toilet overdosing–God knows I’ve had plenty of experience with that–but you know, for real collapsing-into-seizures, burst-blood-vessels-in-the-brain, dying-an-angry-noisy-death overdosing.
One internet search for “will coffee kill me?” later, and I have my answer: Yes, coffee can kill you.
One internet search for “will coffee kill me?” later, and I have my answer: Yes, coffee can kill you. But not easily.
Death By Caffeine is a web app that offers precisely this information. You enter your caffeine based drink of choice–whether it’s Mountain Dew, Red Bull or plain old brewed coffee–and then your weight. Push the handy little “Kill Me” button, and you’ll have a surprisingly specific answer as to how much of the poison you can drink before keeling over.
In my case, it would take 94.14 cups of drip coffee to put me in the ground. Useful information, because now I know that if I’ve already had 94 cups of coffee and somebody says “Hey, Ty, can I get you another .15 cup?” I should answer with “No thanks, friend. I’m aware of my limits.” And then quiver my way homeward to spend the rest of the day screaming obscenities at the ceiling, secure in the knowledge that, while I won’t be able to close my eyes for a week, I haven’t actually risked death.
V.21 No.8 |
The Daily Word in D3 demolition, thrash metal and glass burrito
City Council approves a plan to carve up District 3 (Downtown, Barelas, UNM area) and ax Benton's seat.
APD officer ends up in the hospital after chewing on a glass burrito.
St. Michael's in Santa Fe to conduct random student drug tests.
Outrage over Quran burning spreads in Afghanistan. At least 10 Afghans and two American soldiers have died.
Midair helicopter smash kills seven marines during training.
9-year-old girl dies after running for three hours as punishment for stealing a candy bar, according to an Alabama sheriff's office.
UN may prosecute Syrian officials of crimes against humanity.
FDA questions inhalable caffeine.
Maybe you don't need eight hours of sleep.
Serious hipster cruise. Like on a ship.
Startups looking to skim carbon dioxide from the atmo. Bill Gates thinks it's a good idea, says his money.
Virginia politicians second-guess mandatory pre-abortion vaginal probing.
Analysts predict soaring national debt under all GOP contenders' tax plans—except for Ron Paul's.
Thrash metal endorsements for 2012: Megadeth dude supports Santorum.
V.20 No.33 |
The Daily Word with silent but deadly Marines, Son of Sam, Hot Sauce Mom and Hurricane Irene
Missing Santa Fe boy found safe, after his father kills himself.
Son of Sam killer David Berkowitz won't seek parole.
Hurricane Irene is threatening much of the East Coast.
Hot Sauce Mom convicted of child abuse.
Have you tried the new flesh-eating cocaine?
Facebook adds new privacy settings.
Marines in Afghanistan ordered not to fart audibly.
Goofing around on the internet at work can make you more productive.
A UFO interrupts a British newscast.
Summer's worst new burger names.
How to ween yourself off caffeine.
NBC is developing a drama set in 1980s professional wrestling.
Meet the world's first camcorder pirates.
What are the implications of a six-sided earth?
Netflix acquires 1,200 hours of Telemundo programming.
This is why you should avoid buying cheap wine.
Check out this $1.7 million steampunk apartment.
Christmas at the Yucca Vista at Aux Dog Theatre
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